


Happiness Is a Four-Letter Word

by GlitterCake20



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Clothes Sharing, Comas - Freeform, Cuddles, Destructive Behaviour, Domestic Fluff and Flirting, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Friends to Lovers, Hair Washing, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining so much fucking pining, Prep Boy Theo Raeken, Punk Liam Dunbar, Shady Business, Slow Burn, Snowball Fight, Stiles & Theo friendship, Strangers to Friends, Taking care of injuries, Tattooed Liam, and blushing omg, friendship friendship frienship, friendships, hard headedness that gets them nowhere, pizza shop au, platonic I love yous because they are important and valid, soft forehead kisses, stake outs, tragic past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2019-07-07 00:53:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 87,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterCake20/pseuds/GlitterCake20
Summary: Liam goes out looking for trouble, instead he finds the beginning of a road that could change everything for him.





	1. Troublemaker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sofiaaaaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofiaaaaa/gifts).



  

The last time Liam got the lights beat out of him was about seven nights and some spare hours ago. He’s more than ready to go again. Yeah, so his nose is still a little purple and there’s still a crescent-shaped cut under his left eye, but it's mostly healed and he’s itching for a fight again.

  

He’s fully aware of just how fucked up he is, that this is no way of dealing with his charade of issues, but it works. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he’s sure there’s some deep-rooted explanation for it. Probably just as fucked up as the rest of his behaviors that can all be pinned back to the drawing board of orphanhood that was his formative years.

  

All he knows is that when whoever’s fist connects with his jaw, it sends a shock of life into his bones and the relief he feels when the rage hits is almost blinding, and when that fist punches his breath away- that’s when he’s most alive. Even better when he gets the last blow in.

 

He first experienced this when he was twelve and one of the older kids snuck a bag of M&M’s into the sleeping hall. He beat the fuck out of a seventeen-year-old to attain those tiny little chocolates. He won too. Bloody and swollen, but victory tasted so fucking sweet. Even sweeter than that was the release of every bit of hurt in him that he pounded into that guy, it flowed out of him along with the blood.

  

They sat on the orphanage’s roof that night, him and little Jimmy, and they ate that bag of M&M’s until their bellies hurt. That was one moment he can recall being properly and truly happy. Jimmy too, with his big buck teeth and ginger hair. The happy times after that were few and far between. That was also the first time Liam felt weightless and relieved. Not stressed. He only learned much later that a kid shouldn’t be stressed at all - at least not about the things he was stressed about – much less beating other kids up for relief.  

 

But, that’s Liam. That's how he’s put together. And not even the best child psychologist could unpack him. They all lacked that one thing that Liam still can’t place or name, it’s just something in their voices that falls through and fails to get into the tiny splits of his mind. They can’t read him. And he won’t let them.

  

So here he is again, barely recovered from the last fight, looking for another one, although this time he’s probably going to fight back a little harder- having his piercings belted into his face repeatedly is really no fun. He’s had to replace the one in his brow probably four times and Corey’s getting sick of doing it for him, he’s sure.

  

Since he got kicked out of the local bar downtown he’s gone looking for trouble in the upper parts of town. And it seems like it’s just his luck because a group of buff prep boys strut in, grinning wide with their disgustingly white teeth. He spots exactly the one he’s going to rile up – big arms and chest, looks like he can throw Liam halfway across the room. Pretty as fuck too but that’s irrelevant. Shame about his face though.

 

 “Another one.” he taps the shot glass down on the bar counter, takes a quick drag of his half-finished smoke while the prep guys settle around a pool table near him. Some of them glance his way because he's pretty out of place here with his countless tattoos and bright red hair, not to mention piercings in all the wrong places.

  

“I don’t think that’s a great idea.” the girl behind the counter glares at him, then at the set of car keys next to his cigarette box. She’s got that salon curly brown hair and large dark eyes, dresses fancy as the rich folk do.

  

“Listen,” He takes another drag and pops a twenty he can’t really afford down on the counter, “Just keep ‘em coming okay honey?” the smoke leaves his mouth as the words do.

 

 “Sure.” She smiles, but in that ‘the customer’s always right’ way, and pours the shot, also fills up his whiskey glass without him asking. And that’s great, he thinks, the more booze the more numb the hits feel.

 

 Both follow down his throat with a burning trail that doesn’t dissipate fast enough, he chokes it down without too much of a grimace and finishes the smoke, burying it with the rest of the butts. The buff prep guy’s busy chalking up his stick, happily bantering with one of his buddies, while Liam works out an angle for how this is all going down. He's already feeling the adrenaline buzz underneath his skin.

  

Prep Boy looks at him. Liam wasn’t expecting it, but he doesn’t look away, nothing pisses a rich straight guy off more than when some dodge looking guy with tattoos for clothes stares him down in a bar, right? So he goes with it. Prep Boy frowns and looks back to his friend, doesn’t seem to snitch on Liam since no one else looks at him, which is a bit frustrating. Maybe he’ll just keep staring ‘till he gets a rise.

  

The bar lady has poured another shot, as per his bossy instructions, when he turns back around the lights has shifted to a dim yellow in the bar. Prep Boy’s standing right under one. Liam’s realizes he’s prone to developing fleeting crushes at the most inopportune moments. The guy looks a little angelic - if there were such things as angels – under the overhead lamp. Liam’ still gonna beat him up, or vice versa.

 

 He decides that this moment is probably as good as any other so he aims to down the shot and then plans to march over and start pushing the guy around or something but things don’t go as planned at all. A massive, giant dude steps into Liam’s line of sight, easily twice his size in width and length and he looks _pissed_.

 

“Can I help you King Kong?”  from the corner of his eye Liam sees Prep Boy’s head snap to him, eyes going wide. Liam stays seated, leaning back on the counter on one arm, tongue playing with the ring in the corner of his lip.

 

“Yeah. In fact, remember Shane?”

 

“Can’t say I do…” he really doesn’t, but this guy looks a little familiar, Liam’s starting to think…

 

“You should... since he did that to your face.”

 

Ah, right. The guy from last week. Fucking tool and big as a bus. Liam likes them big- more of a challenge. And it’s always funny how surprised they get when he actually delivers a decent shot.

 

“He ended up in hospital.”

 

Liam feels his nose scrunching up in question. He’s not sure what this dude is getting at but it smells like a fight.

 

He grins, looks Jumbo square in the eye, downs his shot and says flatly, “Well… pity the hospital.” then shrugs. Yeah, he really did just clap back with an Outsiders reference.

  

It’s so fucking fast, and he saw it coming - he’s trained his eye for it - but his good hand is occupied with the shot glass and he’s leaning on his other arm so when Jumbo swings, he hits Liam right on the side of his jaw, then jerks him forward, because apparently, that’s not enough, and headbutts him, brutally, as a finisher.

  

That sends Liam reeling back when Jumbo lets go and even in his haze of pain and blurriness Liam at least swings back, gets in a futile punch before he passes out and falls back.

 

He’s not sure how long he’s been out for but the lap his head is cradled in isn’t the familiar one of his friend. Mason’s got skinny, bony legs. These legs are soft and muscled, also feels like the familiar chino shorts material only prep boys wear around here.  Where the fuck is he?

 

He cracks an eye open, and the headache splits through his brain like a lightning bolt and he groans, grabbing his head instantly. He panics a little because he can't see and doesn’t know if Jumbo is still around, at least if he sees the blow coming he can brace himself… but not while he's blinded. He scampers to get up, but there’s a grip around his waist keeping him down.

 

“Hey, easy. Easy. You’re safe.”  someone, presumably the person holding him still, says carefully and quietly. Liam realizes then he’s not in the bar anymore, there’s no music. Just soft hands on his arm and waist.

 

Liam manages to open the one eye without the splitting headache this time, “What…” he sees Prep Boy staring down at him. Maybe it’s the concussion - which he’s sure he has - but the guy is even prettier up close.

 

“What happened?” he completes Liam's question. “What happened was you pissed the Hulk off and he knocked you the fuck out. Do you have a death wish or something?”  

 

“Did I get him though?”

 

The guy laughs. Liam tries to smile too, but it hurts too much. His face feels fucking broken.

 

He clenches one eye shut so the other can open wider, realizes he’s laying on the sidewalk behind the bar, head in the guy’s lap. He’s suddenly aware of the sharp taste of copper sitting thick in his throat, probably all over him too. All too familiar. Nausea creeps up, and he wrenches to the side just in time and pukes. He hates concussions with all his might. Hates himself a little too right now.

 

“Shit, you okay?”  the guy rubs his back in circles. Liam’s kind of surprised he hasn’t left him on the sidewalk yet. He nods and spits. Pushes himself back up since he’s gained a little control over himself now, manages to sit flat on his ass next to Prep Boy.

  


There is a small lapse of time where neither know what to say, the guy is still looking at him then shoves a bottle of water out in front of Liam, “To uh... Rinse.” he motions to his face.

 

There’s blood all over his forehead, chin and in his mouth, “Thanks.” he takes a sip and spits to the side, “What the fuck happened? How did I get here?” the next sip he swallows.

 

“You passed out dude.”

 

Liam looks at him blankly. “Still doesn’t explain why I was in your lap?”

 

“Well.. that’s because that dude was going to jump you and you looked really fucking unconscious. I have sketchy morals at the best of times but that’s pretty much on my nope list.”

 

“Oh.”  Now Liam feels like total shit for wanting to pelt the guy before. He seems decent.  Also doesn’t really get why the fuck he helped him or stayed with him, but whatever. Liam gets up, awkwardly says “Well. This is… um, thank you? Very much. I guess… for looking after me when I got my ass handed to me. But I gotta get home.”  and gives him a stiff smile. He’s truly thankful, but he's not sure what to do with strangers, never mind people who are nice to him for no fucking reason. Kind of wants to hug the guy but he doesn’t.

 

He takes exactly two steps before the dizziness hits him and he staggers to the side, totally out of it, ears ringing.

 

“Oh god! Okay. Yeah, you’re not driving anywhere. How far away do you stay?”  

 

“No. I’m fine. Just need a minute….”

 

His hand is heavy and warm on Liam’s back again, the other wrapping around his waist, and he mumbles gently while lifting Liam back up, “You’re not fine. Let me help you.” He’s digging in Liam’s back pocket while trying to hold him up.

 

“Look if you wanna knock my shit just do it okay? There’s a twenty in my wallet, that’s all I’ve got man.” His head is spinning, and he’s not really sure what’s going on anymore, all he sees through his faux-red strands of hair that are hanging in his eyes, is this dude’s face frowning at him.

 

“What?? I’m not trying to rob you! Jesus, I need to see where you stay… uh, Liam. That’s your name huh?”  he's looking at Liam's driver's license.

 

“Oh… Well, I could have just told you where I stay no need to grope me.”

 

“I... I didn’t… It wasn’t…”

 

Liam starts giggling at how he’s freaking out. It’s kind of cute, to be honest. _Let's not crush on straight strangers that you smeared your blood all over, Liam._

 

“You’re taking the piss. That’s just great. Come on, where’s your car?”

 

Liam smiles then flinches against the pain, “Out front. Blue Bronco.” He realizes he never asked Prep Boy for his real name, so he jokes “I feel like I should at least know your name if you're taking me back home.”

 

“Oh, don't flatter yourself. I'm Theo.” he hoists Liam up further so he's pressed firmly to his side. Liam's trying not to think how much this feels like a hug.  He doesn't really want to start crying right now.

 

“Theo is such a fucking grandpa name.”

 

“A grandpa name?!”

 

They reach the truck and this Theo guy helps a still stumbling Liam inside.

 

“I'll overlook the grandpa name because you're nice to me.”

 

Theo frowns, “People aren't always nice to you? Don't you have friends?”

 

“I mean obviously. But he's not here.” as soon as his head hits the back of the seat he feels like falling asleep. He's blowing a stray tendril of hair back repeatedly when he feels two warm fingers drag it back with the rest. He stiffens without meaning to.

 

“Uh, sorry. Looked like that was bugging you.”

 

The hand withdraws quickly. Liam doesn't see where it goes because his eyes won't stay open, but the car door shuts and Theo gets in on the other side and starts up the engine.

 

“Listen, you'll probably need some painkillers and something we can clean the cut with. Have you got some or should I stop by the drug store on the way?”

 

 _We? What is happening?!_ Liam's so confused.

 

“Um, you don't need to do any of that. Just drop me at the door.” he says softly, swallowing, even though the last thing he wants to be is alone right now, he's sure Theo has somewhere to be.

 

“Well, is someone there to keep an eye on you? To help?”

 

“Mason's out. Don't know when he'll be back.”

 

“Then I'll stay until he gets there.”

 

“You always this clingy with strangers?”

 

“Almost always.”

 

“What if I beat you up and you end up in hospital? Apparently, that's a thing that happens.”

 

A fraction of silence follows and Liam thinks maybe he scared the guy off.

 

“Well then, pity the hospital,"  Theo says straight up.

 

Liam lets out a strained little snort at that and grins, manages to open his eyes enough to see Theo laughing too then quickly looking back at the road.

 

Theo is funny. And nice.

 

Once they get to the apartment, Theo helps Liam to the door, but he feels marginally better, can stand straight and even manages to form proper sentences so he doesn't look like a total knucklehead in front of Theo anymore. He's not sure why he cares about that.

 

“How does this thing open?” Theo's pulling at the door handles, “Please tell me I'm not pulling at a push door?”

 

Liam pushes into his space, his arms briefly brushing Theo's chest, then pushes a button, “No. It's just fucked. Gotta push it until the light up there goes yellow.”

 

“Ah.”

 

The door clicks open.

 

“Low end security. It's how we roll here.”  Liam teases, feeling a little more human and less like a pile of fuzz.

 

His and Mason's apartment is on the ground floor, close to the exit so it's not long before they're standing at his door. He unlocks it then pauses. “Look, you really don't have to stay. I feel better. Think I'll be okay.”

 

“Do you want me to go?” Theo looks down, voice a little pleading.

 

Liam really doesn't want to be alone. He usually keeps busy in the streets until he knows for a fact Mason is home. Alone is the worst place to be. Liam feels enough of that inside, there's no need to experience it physically as well. Liam however, doesn't know how to say that. Mason understands it so he doesn't have to find the words, but now this kind stranger is staring at him and he doesn't know how to let himself be vulnerable.  So, he just pushes the door open and waits, hoping Theo gets the message.

 

Theo’s face curves into a grin, eyes twinkling as he steps inside.

 

Liam's place is small and simple, a little cramped but it's cozy and homely and crowded with gamer and comic merchandise. He feels a little embarrassed as Theo looks around. He's sure Theo has a big house - wherever he's from - and that he's used to big open spaces and marble counters or those spirally staircases with the golden trimmings. Not this two-bit, half light flat on the wrong side of town.

 

“This is nice!” Theo says excitedly, his eyes scanning the room, surprising Liam.

 

Liam's placing his keys and wallet down on the small cluttered coffee table, “Um it's okay I guess… It's not much.”  He's feeling around in his pockets, realizes he left his smokes in the bar.

 

“Oh… um,” Theo reaches into his short’s pockets and pulls out a box of Marlboros. Liam's Marlboros... and his lighter, “Here.”

 

He just kind of stares. Is this guy for real? Is he maybe still unconscious and dreaming all of this?

 

“Wow. Thank you…” he gapes, taking the smokes and pulling one out, astounded that Theo actually thought to take his things for him.

 

“So, you should take care of that cut.”

 

“Oh, right.” Liam disappears into the bathroom quickly, coming back out with a wet rag, and swallows an Advil down with some water. He stands there holding it, not sure if he should hand it over. Even if he barely knows this guy, something inside him has now desperately attached to Theo.

 

It's like Theo knows Liam's unsure, so he holds his hand out and takes the rag, “Wanna sit down?”

 

“Outside if you don't mind?” he gestures to the smoke in his hand and the fire escape. Theo nods. “You really don't have to do this. You barely know me.”

 

Theo reaches out anyway and Liam sits down and lights up the smoke, Theo comes to stand in front of him on the small ledge outside the window, “I know your name is Liam and you have some seriously big balls.”

 

“Or I’m just really fucking stupid.”

 

“I don't think so.” he rubs really hesitantly over the gash in Liam's forehead. “Does it hurt?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

His neighbor provides some slow blues music for background noise while Theo works slowly to get the cut clean, he’s pretty close to Liam, close enough for Liam to see the thin threads of his black golf shirt.  He’s forcing his eyes to stay on Theo’s shoes though.

 

Liam’s a little fucked as a general default, and also pretty gay, so he’s trying not to make this moment into something it’s not. But Jesus this man is fucking fine, he smells so good. He knows it's expensive cologne and he can tell Theo’s face is professionally groomed. Flawless.

 

Liam can’t afford to touch any of that, shouldn’t want to. But he fucking burns to. Theo’s hands are gentle and soft, adorable in the way they’re careful to touch Liam like he’ll snap. It makes Liam scoffs silently as he takes a drag, wondering if there’s anything left to snap inside? If there ever was anything there to snap.

 

It’s when Theo cups his jaw on one side and tilts his face to the light so he can see better, and his voice cracks when he says, “You doing okay?”  - that’s when Liam has to pull the reins in really fucking tight. All he wants is to melt into the contact, beg for more of it. The little boy inside is screaming for it. But Theo doesn’t  know him, or any of his ghosts and Liam can’t let that happen.

 

“I’m okay. Is it clean?”

 

“Having a hard time to see what’s blood and what’s your hair, to be honest,” his hand falls from Liam’s neck, brushes his knee on the way down, “It’s really fucking red.”

 

He leans back on the stairs with both elbows and gives Theo a quick once over without him noticing, “It’s bitchin.”

 

“Sure is!” he folds the cloth up, “I don’t have the balls to do something like that.”

 

Liam takes another drag of his smoke and blows it up into the night air, “You mean your prep buddies will kick you out of the golden circle?”

 

Theo laughs, “Wow. Judgy. But yeah, totally.”

 

It makes them both chuckle for a good few seconds. Theo doesn't seem like the average jackass in chino shorts and jerseys. He’s aware of how full of shit they can be. He’s also way nicer than the other prep guys Liam’s come across. Liam likes that about him, thinks maybe they can even be good friends. Once Liam gets over wanting to fuck him.

 

The Advil kicks in with a bang and Liam starts yawning and they head back inside, Liam does a quick round to the bathroom and feels kind of fuzzy when he returns, finds Theo sitting on the couch.

 

“Oh, your shirt’s kind of bloody… didn’t see it with the goth skulls and all.” Theo motions mockingly to Liam’s white t-shirt. Liam can’t be bothered with changing now so he just strips it off and flops down on the opposite end of the couch.

 

“You have a fuckload of tattoos don’t you?” Theo’s eyeing his chest where a large wolf head sits on his one pec and some words are scribbled on the other.

 

“Haven’t you heard? It’s addictive.” he says sleepily and stretches both sleeved arms out behind his head, yawns long and wide.

 

“You can sleep. I’ll wait for what’s-his-name.”

 

“Mason…” Liam’s already drifting off. He wouldn't normally be so relaxed around a total stranger but there is something calming about this dude, his eyes are soft and kind and his mouth does an awkward little twitch when he doesn’t know what to say. Liam knows good in people when he sees it, and no one besides Jenna has ever helped Liam the way Theo did tonight. He makes a quick mental note to pay her a visit when he has an off day before he fully drifts off- Theo looking at him being the last thing he sees.

  


 

_“Yo man… thanks for staying with him. Has he got all his things?”_

 

_“I think so, I grabbed what was left on the bar counter, should all be here.”_

 

_“Thanks for helping.. Liam’s… he’s a little….”_

 

_“Troublemaker?”_

 

Liam wakes to the sound of muffled voices and Mason laughing out in the hallway. When his eyes open, he finds himself covered in a blanket and Theo gone. He’s slow-walking toward the sounds, still groggy and a little disoriented but the headache is gone.

 

Theo sees him, tips his head slightly to the side so he can see past Mason and then he smiles, “Hey! Feeling any better?”

 

“Not really. Were you leaving?”

 

“Was getting ready to go, yeah. You were asleep…”

 

Mason looks between them, his tongue poking at the corner of his mouth and that ever knowing frown crinkling between his eyes. Liam wants to tell him to shut up.

 

Liam wasn’t expecting the guy to kiss him goodnight or anything, but the thought of him just vanishing into the night, just leaving, makes his chest constrict.

 

He glares Mason and his amused expression out of the way and wraps the blanket tighter around himself, “Listen I don’t know how to adequately thank you for saving my ass tonight…”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“No. I kinda do. So, um, I work at Ginos’ over on sixth street.”

 

“The pizza place?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

It doesn’t look like Theo’s body has seen or even smelled a slice of pizza in his life but Liam’s going with it anyway because it’s all he’s got.

 

“Come over tomorrow, say lunchtime? Pizza on the house, your pick.”  

 

“I can totally do that.”

 

“Seriously??”

 

Theo laughs, “Yeah... Seriously.” He begins walking away backward and salutes them both with two fingers to his temple. It's incredibly hot.

 

“See ya tomorrow Red!” 

 

"See you...” Theo jogs down the steps and Mason replaces Liam's view. Liam’s nose crumples up and he pulls a face. 

 

“Wanna tell me what the fuck you were thinking??”

 

He looks at Mason and rolls his eyes. Here we go.

 

 

 


	2. Pizza Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some rough thoughts of Liam's past at the beginning, mentions of death. Please read carefully.

It's around five in the morning when the nightmare starts. Only, it's not really a nightmare, it's more like a repetitive blur of memories bleeding together. A haunting.

_Jimmy’s insisting they take the guy on. He's huge, and he's coming fast. Liam wants to run but Jimmy’s standing still. He can't leave Jimmy there, he'll get his face caved in. There could easily fit 10 Jimmies into this guy._

_“Get him in the gut” he whispers low to Jimmy, “Stomp his stomach. Don't hesitate.” Because the guy is really tall._

_They're only thirteen._

_Jimmy does just that. He's small but fierce and crazy. The guy topples forward and Liam elbows him in the back, seems like it hurts. When he comes back up he swings violently at Jimmy, gets him right on the nose and then it's red. Blood red all over. Jimmy's not faltered, he knees the guy while Liam kicks his ribs. He's yelling all sorts of profanities at them and they laugh- Jimmy’s teeth look funny like that, all bloody with specs of white. While he's cackling the guy elbows back and hits Liam right in the jaw - he bites his tongue in the process and bleeds too. “Fuck you!” he belts out and delivers a rough kick to the man's ribs. He's still proud of that move._

_That's their moment. Jimmy grabs his carton of smokes and the bottle of whiskey he had on him and they run, looking back with huge grins. The guy tries chasing them down, but he's breathless from the kick. Liam is so proud of that kick._

_They're on the worst side of okay but they won. “Sick moves buddy!” he turns to high-five Jimmy, but he's not there. Liam stops running._

_Jimmy's face down on the pavement behind him. And he's not thirteen anymore. He's grown. And he's dead. Liam's trying to wake him, trying to answer the paramedics at the same time. ‘He doesn't have parents. He's eighteen. He's only got me…. And I've only got him. Jimmy, please wake up!’_

He never did. Still now, in Liam's memories, the most prominent visual he has of his friend is the one where he's dead. Ashen and still. 

He was only eighteen.

“Liam. Come on dude. Wake up.” Mason's voice seeps through the whimpers and sobs. He's gently shaking Liam's shoulders, “It's okay. I'm here. Just wake up.”

“Huh?” his voice sounds rough and thick and he sits up too quickly, gets dizzy and nauseous. He's scared for a moment but then realizes he's home, with Mason, and safe.

“You were having a dream again.”

“Oh. Sorry for waking you.” he says and looks down at his arm where Jimmy’s name is inked. Just to make sure it's there, that Jimmy was there too at one point. His eyes are sticky and wet.

“That's okay. Do you want me to sleep here with you?”

“Hm? Uh, No. I'm just gonna get up I think.”

“You'll be fine if I go back to bed for a bit yeah?”

“I'll be fine,” he says, and it's only half a lie. He's fine as long as he's not entirely alone. When there's still someone in the room with him. Then it's not suffocatingly lonely.

Liam showers quickly, sees the water tinge a light pink when he looks down, he’s not sure if it is blood or hair dye. The gash in his forehead stings a little when he washes his face and when he’s done, he’s careful not to stain the towel while he dries off.

Mason’s snoring softly from his bedroom once Liam exits the bathroom. He gets dressed in his black jeans and red work shirt with the squiggly pizza on the pocket and Gino’s name written underneath. His hair just goes back, the Mohawk has grown out and doesn’t really stand up anymore. He’s never cutting it like that again- which reminds him that Kira said she’s got new hair dye to try out if he’s interested. He’s thinking maybe blue this time.

Liam checks his face in the mirror before he leaves his room. The crescent cut under his right eye has turned slightly green but is scarred over. No stitches. The new addition to his forehead looks pretty bad though, bright red and going purple. He’ll have to try to cover it up a bit. At least his brow now only has three white scars that mar it and he won’t have to get the piercing redone this time. All over he looks terribly miserable, scar upon scar piling up on his face and it’s starting to match his inside.

He pushes his hair back one more time and leaves before his feelings bubble to the surface. He’s got a full day ahead of him. Fridays are always busy at Gino's’. He’s made himself a hot cup of coffee and it’s still early so he decides to just sit and relax for a little while; until Mason gets up. Makes his way out to the fire escape and climbs up to the second step, his smokes are still there, so he lights one up.

The first drag is deep and calming, he closes his eyes. The menthol nips at his throat and he exhales it with a sigh, dropping his head back against the wall. 

Nights that he has dreams like this aren't great. It makes him miss Jimmy until his bones hurt and his throat feels like closing up. He's stopped feeling guilty about how Jimmy died because there was literally nothing he could have done. But it hurts all the same.

Liam sighs, pulls his knees up and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes like maybe that’ll stop him from crying. It doesn't. 

He's learned to cry quietly over the years though. Not a sound.

The sun's coming up. Liam brings his hand to his mouth for another drag, sees the sunlight filter through his fingers as they wiggle and he plays with that for a while, watches in heartsore silence as the tattoos on the back of his hand shift when he moves his fingers and how the sun makes the pictures look faded then bright, depending on how he moves his hand.

Jimmy wasn’t just a friend from his childhood. He was Liam's only friend until Mason, but Jimmy also filled that space where his parents should have been, where his mom should have protected him and nurtured him, Jimmy did. Not that it feels in any way the same as a mother's love does… but he wouldn't know anyway, would he? He can't say much for his dad, still doesn't know who he is or where he is, but Jimmy filled that space too to an extent- taught him to fight, hotwire a car, and fish too. Probably not regular dad things. Close enough, he guesses and takes in another deep lungful of smoke.

He needed more time with Jimmy.

His mind strays to the boy he met last night. Theo. Liam's not used to that level of kindness from people. What he is used to is being treated like he's worthless, just a knock off maybe, a dud and less functional version of a human being. Because he never had the advantage of proper education or stable family life, because he articulates in violence because the cards he's been dealt is less than fair. But they - ‘they’ being teachers, bosses, girlfriends, boyfriends and strangers alike - they never bother digging deeper. He's never complained about his cards though, wouldn't make any difference. An orphan with a temper, an unruly troublemaker. That's all he is and no one bothers looking further than that.

It’s for that exact reason that Liam has gotten attached to a total of only four people in his life. The only ones that cared when they had no reason to and nothing to gain. Jimmy, Jenna, Mason, and Theo making up the count.

He probably shouldn't be attached to this Theo guy in any kind of way. He definitely shouldn't. Theo doesn't know him and his background and how utterly fucked up he is, and Liam's sure that once he finds out, he'll bolt and leave Liam in a mess he'll never recover from. But Liam can't help the way he feels, can't help that he wants to be close to Theo now. Not because he thinks he's hot, that too, but Theo took care of him, made him feel safe and for someone like Liam that's a pretty rare commodity. Something he hoards when he finds it.

Liam is so deep in thought that he doesn't hear Mason get up or shower or make coffee for that matter. It’s only when Mason’s hanging halfway out the window to the fire escape that Liam realises his presence, he kind of startles.

“Sorry.” Mason says, for starling Liam, gives him a warm smile “You okay?”

“I’m good,” because he has to be, “time to go?”

“Yeah. Almost, just finishing this.” he holds up the cup then takes a sip, swings the car keys around his finger.

Liam flicks the smoke over the ledge and watches as it hits the brick wall and explodes into tiny embers.

He takes the few minutes he has left to slip into his converse and quickly patches up most of the bruising on his forehead with some fancy cover stick Kira gave him, it does well with hiding the purple and blue skin but doesn’t do much for the gash. He reckons he should probably have gotten stitches for it.

Mason is ready to leave shortly after and they head out.

The pizza place where Liam works is pretty close, so it's not long after that Mason drops him off. Liam's about to get out when Mason gently stops him by placing a hand on Liam's arm.

“Call me when you need to take a break okay buddy? I know after the nightmares, you're not…”

He smiles a little, “I will…. Thanks, Mase.” and with that, he's out of the car and headed inside.

Mason has stood in for him a thousand times probably (not that he can spin dough to save his life). Usually, after he got beaten up or when he's too low to function, although those days are rare now. But today feels a little different. He's looking forward to seeing Theo - assuming he takes Liam up on the free pizza offer - so his mind is not entirely focussed on the nightmare anymore.

“Ah! Cucciolo!!” Gino greets him warmly when he enters. Gino is probably the closest thing to a father figure Liam has. Really tall and loud and not even slightly grey for his age - which he never divulges.

“Gino.” he greets with a nod, trying not to look him in the eye. Maybe he'll get busy and not notice the cut on Liam's forehead.

“I see that! The ugly on your face. What happened” Gino’s accent is so thick it's hard to make out what he says sometimes.

“Battle scars!” Liam says and smiles, putting on his black apron.

The guys in the back have started prepping breakfast rolls, and it smells divine, but Liam isn't hungry. In fact, the smell is a bit nauseating since he's still slightly woozy from the knock to the head.

He busies himself with starting up the till and doing a quick sweep of the counter, then flipping the sign on the door to open. There are about four hours left until lunch when Theo is supposed to stop by, Liam feels a little silly that he's keeping track of time. It's just thank-you-pizza. It's not even to say that he'll come around. Doesn't stop Liam from hoping he does.

The morning gets busy fast. Gino waltzes around making small talk, ‘customer service’ as he calls it and Liam's taken till duty since they've got the kitchen covered. People line up at the counter, some of them place impossible orders and some are just plain impossible.

“Uh, tomato sauce on the side?” Liam's staring at this girl and can't for the life of him comprehend why you'd want that.

“Yeah!” she chirps happily and grins at him, kind of staring too, her eyes taking in his tattoos. Specifically the blue flowers in his neck.

“Yo. Tony! Can we do tomato sauce on the side?!” Liam shouts over his shoulder to the kitchen. Tony is Gino’s son. Typical Italian stud with a weakness for women and head pizza chef. Obviously.

He comes out cursing profusely in Italian, sees the blonde and changes his tune so fast Liam could have whiplash.

“Oh amore mio! For you the world.” he says. Liam has to remind him to actually go make the pizza, thankful that her intense gaze has shifted to Tony instead. He charges her and sends her to the collection line.

It’s twelve before he knows it and suddenly his stomach is full of stupid butterflies, making him feel lightheaded. That surprises him, he hasn’t felt like that in a long time. Theo should stop by soon. Theo with the pretty eyes and friendly, bordering on cocky, smile and the nice voice.

Tony holds up a pizza box. “Hey Li, come take over real quick! I gotta take this to Mrs. Anne.” 

“Yeah, sure,” he says and washes up quickly. He’ll never say no to spinning a few pizzas, he’s pretty good at it. Tony’s rolled the dough into balls already, so Liam flattens them, adds some flour and kneads the dough until it’s round and flat. This is one of the activities he finds most calming, cooking… Seems to occupy his brain enough to lift the weight just a bit.

He gracefully swings the flattened dough from one hand to the other, tosses it up high, and he knows a few customers are looking. It comes back down and falls onto his fingers perfectly and he begins to spin it around and around. Even manages a few hand switches mid air and one risky flip behind his back that he doesn’t usually attempt, but he executes effortlessly, and he’s quite impressed with himself.

A handful of customers clap for him and gush audibly, he ignores it, but it’s making him smile, nonetheless. It’s when he starts on the second ball, tossing it up in the air - the split second before it comes down - that he focuses on the front of the shop and nearly chokes on his own spit.

Theo’s leaning with his shoulder against the doorframe. He’s fucking smiling. Fuck.

Liam, at that moment, is so thankful that he at least looks cool right now and all he keeps thinking while he blushes like an idiot, is: _Liam don't drop this goddamn dough on your head. Please god. Don't drop this dough right now._

Liam _never_ blushes.

When he finally ends the show - that he’ll never admit to putting on - he wipes his hands on a towel and Tony takes over again.

“You came?” he asks astounded, smiling back and Theo pushes off the door frame and comes toward him. He’s wearing jean shorts, cuffed just above the knee, and a striped white vest with the customary prep cardigan draped over his shoulder, finished with a pair of brown boat shoes. He looks so fucking good.

Theo leans forward on the counter, “Of course I did, someone promised me free pizza remember?”

That expensive cologne hits Liam again, but it’s not overbearing, just smooth enough to be intoxicating. “Yeah, I remember.” Liam smiles, “So what can I get you? You look like a… vegetarian kind of guy, am I right?”

“Yeah! Can I add toppings though?”

“You absolutely can. Please just don’t say tomato sauce on the side.” Liam whispers the last part, eyeing blondy in the corner. Theo turns to look.

“What?!” he blurts out on purposely loud, “You mean the sauce goes ON the pizza??”

Liam snorts out a chuckle when the blonde’s head snaps to them, “Oh my god. Regular sauce for you, definitely. Anything else?”

“Can you add steak strips? Barbeque.”

“That’s not vegetarian at all.” Liam looks down, he has no fucking idea why he’s grinning, it’s not funny, but he can’t stop.

“It’s not.” Theo says happily and winks.

“Okay fine. My bad.” he nods at Theo then yells back to the kitchen, “One large veg! Take it to the butcher!”

“Sounds like some serious shit, Red.”

Liam leans in close, guards his mouth with his hand and whispers playfully, “Mafia stuff. Hardcore.” and it makes Theo laugh. Liam’s day is pretty much made.

He tells Theo to take a seat outside the shop under one of the patio umbrellas and that he’ll bring the pizza out to him. As soon as Theo takes a seat, Gino is in Liam’s face, grinning knowingly.

“That one of your boyfriends?”

“What? No. Not every man I talk to is my boyfriend, Gino.” he’s blushing again. Goddammit.

“Ah, but you want the... What you call… the butt sex?”

“Oh dear god.” Liam rolls his eyes, grabs the new trainee to come take over till duty.

“Li! Come on tell me yeah! You want to fare l'amore??”

“Okay then!” Liam yelps, pulling off the apron and tossing it at Gino, “I’m taking a smoke break now!”

“You take two smoke breaks yeah! All good!” Gino’s wiggling his eyebrows like a madman.

Tony has Theo's pizza ready so Liam heads outside. The weather is nice, clear and sunny but not so bright that he has to squint - he's relieved because he looks pretty stupid doing that - and there's only a light wind blowing. 

The first thing he notices are how clear and green Theo's eyes are in daylight, the second is how his hair flutters in the breeze.

Liam places the pizza down and takes a seat opposite Theo. “Your non veg pizza,” he says and takes out his smokes.

Theo smiles and opens the box, “Thanks! Shit, it looks great. You want a piece?” he begins digging in.

“I'm good, see too much of it in a day to really enjoy it.”

Theo nods, chewing. There's a beat of silence while Liam exhales a puff of smoke, then he says, voice cracking, “So uhm, just wanted to say thanks again for last night. Could have ended pretty badly if you weren't there to baby me.”

“Nah man, it's nothing. Couldn't leave you there. Wouldn't leave you there” Theo mumbles and eyes the cut on Liam's forehead, “That looks nasty. Does it hurt?”

Liam shakes his head, “Just a bit. So, uh, you go to college here?”

“Yep. USC.”

“I figured.”

“Was it the boat shoes?”

Liam laughs, surprising Theo, but he laughs too. Liam has to look away for a moment. It’s pretty intense when Theo laughs. Warming and comforting, in a way Liam never knew a strangers laugh could be.

He folds his arms, uses the few moments that Theo looks down to take a bite, to fully take him in. His shoulders are broad and his tanned skin is impossibly flawless. He's actually flawless all over. Almost too much to bear. 

“How's the pizza?” Liam asks.

“Really yum! You sure you don't want? I'm gonna finish this whole thing.” 

Liam has a sudden moment of bravery and he lets his eyes rake down Theo’s figure while he's looking – just as he licks his thumbs clean – and says, “You? Finishing whole pizzas with a body like that?”

The grin spreads slowly across Liam’s face as he watches Theo stutter for words and squirm in his seat. Seeing straight guys flail never fails to amuse him. That’s if Theo is even straight. Liam doesn’t think they know each other well enough to ask. Even if they did, Liam has no business with a guy like this, and it’s not that he’s insecure- he could probably end up with his dick in Theo’s mouth if he really tried, but then what? And besides Theo in his entirety feels like a lot more than a just one-night stand, like something he could never maintain. So, he’s not insecure, he’s just realistic. Theo’s also most likely into blonde girls like Sauce-On-The-Side over there, not roughed up orphan boys.

“Uhm… I...”

“I’m kidding. Don’t choke big boy.” Liam winks and kills his smoke, pushes his chair back, “Listen, thanks again for last night Theo,” he looks him right in the eye, feeling like he should say more or do something, “I can probably never repay you… but uh, just know that I’m grateful you were there.” _And that I met you. I’ll always be_.

The moment is so full of tension that Liam’s mind is spinning, his body aching with the urge to both run and stay put at the same time. Theo stands up and wipes his hands on a napkin, extends that hand to Liam, “Hey, no problem and thanks for the pizza. You’re a cool guy, Liam.”

Liam shakes hands with him, notes immediately how soft his hands are, like really soft and smooth. His own are calloused and rough and he feels a little self-conscious about it. Theo pays no mind.

Liam swallows, “No problem Theo.”

“Bye Red!” Theo calls to his back as he walks away, voice going a little high.

He walks fast because he’s not sure what the hell is happening to his insides, to his heart. But he still feels Theo’s hand in his when he enters the shop, and his cheeks are on fire.

Gino smiles blindingly at him from behind the counter because Gino knows that look. He’s a man of romance. He knows.

Liam shakes his head in retort, anyway. Because it can't be that.


	3. Baby Genius

“ _ Cool guy _ ??? You’re a  _ cool guy _ Liam??” Theo can’t believe he actually just said that. “What in the actual fuck?” he rubs over his face as he leaves the pizza place, realises he’s sweating. And it’s not from the heat. He’s been out of the closet for only two months and he’s a total mess. Who knew this gay thing was so complicated.

He rushes off quickly, heading back to campus and gets there flustered and fidgety, darting over the endless green lawns and in between the large ancient looking arches that lead up to the auditorium.

“Hey!” he hears someone call, “Slow down man!” he finds his friend Scott bounding up behind him. “Where you running to dude?”

“Oh… Uh, nowhere.” He stops and inhales, frowns at the look Scott’s giving him. “Sorry.”

“You sure you’re okay dude? You look a little out of it…”

Theo swipes at his forehead, “I’m…” there's no use is lying, Scott will figure it out eventually “There’s a guy.” he blurts out, hoping maybe Scott can offer up some insight.

Scott chuckles, his eyes softening, “Well, was he chasing you?”

“Oh god, no. No, I’m just an idiot.” They start walking to class, “This gay thing is hard man.  How do you know if they’re gay too? Or if they’re flirting? How do you flirt back without getting punched in the throat??” Fuck, he's going to hyperventilate.

“Calm down you dork! You wanna tell me about the guy first?”

“Okay look, it’s the guy from last night.” Theo purses his lips waiting for Scott’s reaction which seems to be nothing more than mild surprise.

“Oh.” Scotts thinks for two seconds, “The one who got knocked out?”

“That one.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. I think. I mean, he's pretty battered up, but I made sure he got home and I waited for his friend to show up.” he glances sideways to gauge Scott's reaction again- he’s listening intently. “He invited me to lunch though, to say thanks… and there was a moment you know.”

Scott frowns, “What kind of moment?”

“He sort of complimented me… gave me a look.”

“A look?”

“Yeah man, like… _ a look” _

“Like he wants to bang?”

“Scott?!”

“What?” Scott smirks playfully at him.

They fall silent as they step into class. Scott takes a seat beside him, in the middle row and they flip open their laptops. While they wait for the professor to start, he shifts a little closer to Scott, their bare shoulders pressing.

“So, not a look like he wants to bang  _ per se _ but like, maybe he thinks I'm nice looking or whatever.”

Scott slaps a hand over Theo’s where he’s flipping his pen nervously on the wooden desk, “Stop that! Look, there is no need to be nervous okay? He’s just a dude… he’s probably freaking out as much as you are which already says a lot.”

That’s the thing though, Liam doesn’t seem like just a dude. Maybe he’s a little rough, god he feels bad for even thinking that - makes him feel like such an elite little shit - but Liam is funny, and edgy and seems like he can be an insane amount of fun to be around. But there’s something else about him, something that made Theo’s heart ache and that made it hard for him to leave the night before. From the first second, Liam blinked open his blood smeared eyelids with his head resting vulnerably in Theo’s lap, there was an echoing sadness in his eyes and Theo just wanted to protect him. Theo remembers now how incredibly blue Liam’s eyes are, he hadn’t really noticed last night since it was mostly dark and his pupils were dilated. But today… wow.

“Hey…” Scott prods him with an elbow, “What are you thinking about?”

Theo’s not about to confess to daydreaming about the guy’s eyes, so he says, “I really wanna see him again, you think it’s too much to go back today?”

“Wait… go back where?”

“To the pizza place Scott, where he works.”

“He works in a pizza shop?”

“Well a pizzeria.”

“What's the difference?”

“Does it matter??”

Scott throws his hands up in surrender, “No. Not at all. But yeah, maybe going back today is a little desperate, but don’t listen to me. What I know about relationship shit is horrifying.”

The lecture starts.

“Damn right.” he whispers back.

Maybe Scott’s right in both aspects- that he shouldn’t act weird and that he shouldn't listen to Scott at all. He’ll give it a little time though and when he does go back he’ll just act cool and say the pizza is irresistible. Which reminds him to double up at gym later to burn off the calories he inhaled. Theo powers through the lecture, trying to keep his head focussed and keep Scott awake next to him, but he can’t stop from wondering what Liam’s doing right now if he’s swirling another pizza around in the air. He really seems to enjoy that, he’s good at it, and while he was busy with it, that sadness wasn’t as clear as the other times.

After class, the last one for the day, the guys all meet up. Stiles, Scott's best friend, and Lydia, the girl they're both pining after.

“Hey douche bags!” Stiles grins, hanging off Lydia’s shoulder. Theo thinks that’s rich coming from him. He flips around a stack of golden tickets, “Got us free passes for Friday! VIP baby.” And he starts handing them out three at a time.

“What’s this for?” Theo examines the tickets and looks back at Stiles.

“New club on Brooklyn. Invite whoever, just come.”

Theo sticks the tickets in his back pocket, no surprise where his invite is going. Which means he’s now got a perfectly good excuse to see Liam again. And again.

“What’s he smiling about?” Lydia queries, she arches up a brow and if that’s any indication, she already knows.

“He met a dude.” Scott says for him.

Stiles ushers them to his car, “Well we can talk about his little crush over lunch, I’m starving.”

“Actually,” Theo says backing up, “I’ll skip this one. Gotta get back to studying.” He shrugs shyly when Stiles bursts out laughing, knows he’s about to get a fair amount of shit for it.

“It’s lunch dude, you can study after.”

“Yeah that’s what we always say and then it turns into an all-night bender. So, I’m out.” He says and gives Stiles a final look.

Lydia bails him out gracefully, “Now that’s a man with his head screwed on right. As for you two, your looks will only get you so far honey buns. Next thing you know, you’ll be cooking up crack in your backyard.”

Stiles and Scott gape at her, astonished and red in the face.

Theo grins proper wide, “There you have it, boys. Pretty bright future you have there!” He sees them off with a wave not regretting the decision at all, there’s a lot riding on this semester.  

With that thought and as he gets into his car, he connects to the Bluetooth and dials up his mom… just to check if the offer is still on the table. God, a brand-new Cabriolet. Okay and he misses her. A lot.

The phone rings a few times before his mom’s friendly, warm voice picks up, “Mia Raeken good day?”

“Hi ma.” he can hear the high heels clicking around her office, pictures her pacing up and down in front of the large window.

“Oh! Hi baby!!! Sorry, didn't check before I picked up.”

“That's fine. How's it going?”

“Good baby. Always good. To what do I owe this delight hm?”

“What? Just phoning my mom to check how things are.” he says innocently.

“So it has nothing to do with the red drop top in Denny’s showroom at all?”

Theo smiles, “Well, it has a little bit to do with the drop top kay? Just a bit. The rest is because I miss you guys.”

“Aw. We miss you guys too baby. You coming down for Christmas?”

“I definitely am, haven’t spoken to Tara though.”

“Wonderful. Tara will be here before then, spoke to her last weekend.”

“And how’s dad and Troy?”

“Oh, dad’s been working harder than me lately, I put him in charge of the tech division for the Calypso project. And your brother is… well you know… he’s Troy. He adopted a tortoise last week. Harry. Harry has eaten my entire garden.”

Theo laughs picturing his mom's precious, award-worthy gardens mowed half to death, “Oh wow. At least it's not an alligator this time?”

“Jesus.” she pauses briefly, “How big do tortoises get??”

“Depends on the type ma. Send me a pic.”

“Sure honey. Listen, I have to run, but the car is waiting for you.  As soon as you bring me the results I want.”

“I know ma.”

“Only want the best for you baby.”

He turns into his apartment block just then, “I love you ma. Say hi to dad.”

“I will. See you soon honey. Stay safe.” and with that, she hangs up. He feels a little despondent since Christmas is still three months away, but at the same time, content having just spoken to his mom.

Theo shuts off the car and grabs all his books then heads inside. It’s a ground floor unit, which he still hates because a lack of stairs also means a lack of exercise, but it’s comfortable and spacious and he can see the stars clearly from the small from the garden. So, he’s really not complaining about stairs.

It’s a pretty stark contrast to Liam’s apartment, he thinks, besides being much bigger, it’s also open and light and decorated with expensive collections of furniture. But still, the idea of being curled up on Liam's sofa with a good movie in dim lights seems like the best time.

He piles the books and his laptop down on the garden table outside and heads back in to grab some juice and a power bar before settling in. Usually, he gets the best studying done outside when it’s only the birds chirping and the rustling of trees, that’s why when he finally lifts his head, the sky’s fading from peach into a deep orange gradient. There’s a dull ache in his head, a good one, one that tells him he really got a big chunk of work done, so he’s satisfied enough to head back inside.

He still has an indescribable craving for pizza.

* * *

Theo holds the craving off. But only for two days. The end of day two brings him to the doors of Gino’s pizzeria again, after hours this time. There’s still a light on inside and he sees Liam sitting in the far corner with a laptop and open books. Theo knocks softly, watching Liam’s head fly up and holy shit he’s wearing glasses. Holy. Shit.

Liam gets up immediately, and unlocks for him, “Hey! Don’t tell me you got sick from the pizza? No refunds.”

Theo laughs, “No! Not at all. Was actually dreaming about it for days, so I’m back!” He looks at the closed sign and pulls his mouth into a line, “But, I’m too late huh.”

There’s only a small moment of hesitation that lingers before Liam pulls the door open fully and cocks his head to the inside, eyes on Theo.

“Yeah?” Theo makes sure and Liam nods and gives him half a smirk. He looks tired, Theo realizes, tired but still fucking gorgeous. His fiery red hair flop into his face like he’s been tugging at it for a while, and his work shirt – a black button down this time – is opened down to his chest, revealing splays of beautifully inked skin.  _ And he's wearing glasses!! _

“You really want a pizza? I’ve got an abandoned Margarita in the back?”

“Who abandons pizza?”

Liam smiles, “Animals.”

Theo sits down at the table where Liam’s working, wonders to himself if Liam also studies and if he does, what he’d be into. His brain unhelpfully supplies:  _ hopefully idiots like you. _

“Hey man,” Theo says when Liam reappears with two cokes and a box of pizza, “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, you look busy.”

“Nah, could use a break.” Liam hands Theo a coke and pushes the box toward him, “Godere!” he says with a fake little wave of his hand like he says it way too often.

Theo’s supposed to try and figure out what that means but he’s so distracted by the way Liam’s lip ring moves when he speaks, or smiles, and by the defined line down the middle of his chest and half of the wolf’s head tattoo that’s poking out… and the flower tattoos furling around Liam’s neck and...

“That means, enjoy.” Liam says and winks when Theo looks up.

He blinks and starts opening the pizza box, “Sorry… I uh… did those hurt? You know, in your neck?”

“Like a bitch.”

Now he’s watching Liam tilt his head back and take a gulp of coke, god, he really needs to stop. But Liam’s not making this any easier, not looking the way he does. He’s hands down the most enticing person Theo’s ever laid eyes on. He’s also pleased to see the cut on Liam’s forehead looks much better.

“So, studying?” he asks nodding at the books and laptop.

Liam shakes his head, “Doing Gino’s audit books. He pays me a few extra bucks for it.”

Liam is smart, Theo realizes but he looks kind of embarrassed admitting that and Theo knows it’s because he too is aware of the ‘class’ difference between them. Probably knows Theo hasn’t had to work for a thing up to now, never had to tire himself out after-hours to make ends meet by the skin of his ass on minimum wage. But he also realizes he’s being a presumptuous shit even thinking that. He knows nothing about Liam.

“Huh. You’re a baby genius. I could never do that, math is not my strong suit.” He says, chewing, noticing that Liam isn’t eating and truly hopes he doesn’t swipe this entire thing by himself again.

“What is your strong suit, Theo?” Liam grins, draping his arm casually over the back of the chair.

“Besides inhaling pizzas?”

“Well, I mean that’s pretty cool, but what are you studying?”

Theo takes another bite and mumbles, “Marine biology.”

“Ooh fancy.” Liam teases. He adjusts the glasses when Theo notices the name “ _ Jimmy _ ” inked on his forearm. He doesn’t stop to think that it might be something sentimental and private because he can be a blubbering idiot at the best of times, “Who’s Jimmy?”

It happens almost in slow motion, Liam’s hand dropping and the visible shudder that goes through him. Theo immediately regrets asking, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry…”

“No. It’s fine. He’s a… uhm…”

That deep sadness from the other night is back, covering Liam’s bright eyes like a blanket, and Liam seems really, really uncomfortable, almost looks like he’s going to burst into tears at any second. Theo drops the pizza and reaches to take Liam’s hand on the table, squeezing softly. “You don’t have to tell me. I just… It was thoughtless of me. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry…” Liam says quietly and looks to his lap.

“No need to be sorry. Why don’t you tell me about the flowers instead?”

Liam looks up and smirks, “Well, that I can do. See, when I was small I had this cat and she used to sleep in this huge bed of blue flowers in the middle of our lawn, just like these ones,” he motions to his neck, taking a sip of coke then smacks his lips together, “then one day my dad just mowed over her with the weed eater.” He makes a flattening gesture with his hands and shrugs.

Theo nearly chokes, stops chewing and stares at Liam, “Jesus…”

Theo’s about to get up and hold the boy until the sun comes out when Liam burst into a fit of laughter. “Dude, you should see your face! I’m kidding!”

“Oh my god! You’re an ass.” He can’t help that his hearts beating pretty fast, and that has probably more to do with the fact that Liam is even more fucking gorgeous when he laughs (and is being a total shit).

“I’m sorry! That was such a lie. I don’t even know who my dad is.”

“But there was no cat, right?”

“No dad. No cat.” Liam grins.

Theo leaves half of the pizza for Liam, shuts the box and leans back. He’s still smiling but realizes that even if the cat thing was a joke, whatever the significance behind Jimmy’s name is, is far more traumatizing. And that’s rather concerning. But he’s not pushing it right now.

Instead, he decides to put Stiles’ tickets to good use, “So, listen, I got extra opening night tickets for that new club down on Brooklyn, we’re all going… maybe you and Mason can come?”

He smiles a little at Liam’s surprise, it’s adorable, “Oh, who’s ‘we’?”

“A few of my friends from school. I think you guys will get along. What do you say? Think Mason will be up for it?”

“He’s got a boyfriend though; not sure he’ll go out without Corey.”

“That’s fine! I can get another ticket. So that’s a yes?!”

Liam chuckles, “Yeah, sure. We’ll come.”

Theo sucks his lip into his mouth, not sure if he should ask what he wants to, especially with Liam’s eyes on him like this. Those fucking blue eyes. “Maybe... uhm, maybe you should take my number? You know, just in case you get lost or whatever?”

Brooklyn avenue is exactly two streets away from Liam’s apartment. Liam smiles because he knows that.

“Totally.” Liam says, sliding his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Theo. There’s a picture of Mason, Liam and another guy- also covered in tattoos - who he assumes must be this Corey Liam spoke about, because he’s got his lips glued to Mason’s cheek. They’re all smiling, looking pretty happy and he wonders why that’s not the default look on Liam’s pretty face. Because it should totally be. He’ll put it there himself if he must.

“Cute pic.” He comments when he’s done tapping his number into Liam’s phone, hoping it comes across as the compliment he meant it as he still sucks at this flirting business. Theo hands Liam the phone back along with three tickets.

Liam extends a smooth tattooed arm, taking it, “These are VIP? Are you sure?”

“Totally. It'll be really nice to hang out…” he says and there’s this incredibly deep gratitude in Liam's eyes at such a simple gift, almost like doesn't even know how to thank Theo appropriately. And really, it's just tickets, Theo didn't even pay for it.

“I, uh wow” he mumbles “Thank you. It's really really nice of you.”

“Anytime Red.”

* * *

“Mase! Mase! Mase!” Liam barges into their little apartment, tossing his keys and phone down on the couch- he knows Mason’s going to moan about that because in the mornings he can’t find it and then they run late.

Mason comes skidding out of the bathroom, wet and wide eyed, “What???”

Liam grins at how flustered he seems, “I’m home.” He smiles innocently and dodges the towel Mason throws at him just in time.

“You’re a dick.” He walks back to the bathroom naked since Liam doesn’t toss the towel back. “Stay late?”

“Doing the books.”

Mason’s brushing his teeth, mumbles through a foamy mouth, “Ah.”

“Hey what're your plans for Friday?” he really hopes they don’t have plans. It was so good seeing Theo earlier, there’s a calm energy about him that Liam likes. A sort of safety he’s not usually accustomed to. He guesses that’s why he’s crushing a little too. That and the fact that he’s so pretty it’s stupid.

“Nothing right now why? You got ideas?” Mason asks shaving cream smeared all over his face when he pokes his head around the doorframe.

He has to say this so it doesn’t sound like date or something more than what it is – a friend who invited him out – How long do you need to know someone to call them a friend? Mason is the only friend he made after Jimmy and that kind of just happened after Mase picked him up waiting for a bus in the middle of a storm.

“Liam…”

“Huh?”

“You were asking if I have plans. On Friday. Why?”

“Oh… “Mason arches a brow at him, checks that he’s fine before slipping back into the bathroom, Liam flinches at Mason’s concerned expression. He spaces out sometimes and his friend has been there for most of that, always on the ball with those types of things. But Liam’s fine, no spacing… just Theo. He’s fucked, he realizes. “Yeah, sorry. So uhm that dude from the other night…”

“The big buff one with the thighs…

“Theo.” He corrects Mason.

But Mason continues, “...and the lips and the ass and the voice. He probably has an eight pack. Have you checked? I bet he has an eight pack.”

“Mason shut up with your eight-pack obsession! Does Corey have an eight-pack??”

Mason, with a wiggle of his eyebrows says, “No but he’s packin’ if you know what I mean.”

“Oh god! Shut up for real!”

Liam groans, hurling the towel back at Mason. It’s significantly harder focusing on Theo’s abs while he’s got a mental image of Mason’s boyfriend’s dick in his head now. Not that he particularly cares about those kinds of things but if Theo has any kind of pack – and it’s kind of a given that he does – Liam will fucking die.

“Anyway!! I was saying, Theo has tickets for the new spot opening on Brooklyn. Wanna go?”

“Wait wait wait…” Mason’s attention is now undividedly Liam’s, to is dismay.

Liam’s head drops back on the couch. “Ah man…here we go.” Mason also looks really nice, he notices. As opposed to his usual sweats and Corey’s hoodie that he lounges around in he’s wearing tight skinnies – Liam’s sure those are his – and a fancy jacket. And his ear studs, which means it’s their date night. That doesn’t stop him going into interrogation mode though.

“Where exactly did you see Theo, with the arms and the thighs who could potentially have an eight pack, again??”

“Mason, almost everyone has arms and thighs.” He tries and fails dismally to create a divergence.

Mason’s face remains determined. “Nice try. Spill it!”

And thankfully for Liam, Corey shows up looking equally as fancy as Mase. Still doesn’t halt Mason’s mission. “Hi!” a fresh waft of cologne follows Corey inside and he greets Mason with a kiss, sits down next to Liam and eyes the two suspiciously, “What’s going on?”

They both start rambling at the same time, Liam arguing that Mason’s invading his privacy and Mason countering that Liam is withholding ‘vital’ ‘life altering’ information. Corey manages to placate, sort of, “Woah! Everyone calm down. Liam…” he says sweetly, “I’m taking Mason’s side since he’ll be fucking me later.” Liam wants to punch his cute little smile off his face.

“Fine! Fine. Theo came around again today for pizza. Because he was hungry, duh. And then he sat with me and ate it and we spoke like normal people, he mentioned he’s got extra tickets blah blah blah. Okay???” Liam huffs and folds his arms, but he’s trying not to laugh at the other two’s expressions.

“Huh. Interesting.” Mason says and pulls his face into a pout, nodding. “Nice place you work at that you can sit around and chat with cute boys during working hours.”

“Well… it was after we closed, so…”

“There it is!!!” Corey exclaims ruffling Liam’s hair. He and Mason look satisfied to the core.

“Ah man come on, he’s just a friend.”

“You don’t make friends.” Mason offers, unhelpfully.

“Look, you can phone him if you want to okay? He’s got a girlfriend probably.”

Liam realizes too late that was exactly the wrong thing to say, because they both yelp, “You have his  _ number _ ??!!” and he just brutally played himself. Mason won’t let this go. Ever. Liam doesn’t blame him, he’s only ever taken one other person’s number, and proceeded to date her for a year before she ran for the hills and far, far away from his issues.

“It’s not like that with Theo okay? Dude’s straight, I’m sure, and even if he isn’t, he’s way out of my league.” Once again, he tells himself he’s not being insecure, just realistic. What the hell would a guy like Theo want with someone like Liam, except maybe a quick dirty bang? That’s all those prep boys want anyway- a silent rough fuck that their parents won’t approve of and they can’t get from their girlfriends. He knows he’s being an idiot now and taking his self-depreciative thoughts to another level, Theo doesn’t seem anything like that, but still. Out of his league.

“Liam man. We’ve spoken about that. There’s no leagues.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. So, do you guys wanna go on Friday or not?”

“The new place opening on Brooklyn.” Mason explains to Corey.

“Fuck yeah! Wanna meet this Theo dude!”

“Theo with the thighs and the heart eyes!” Mason sings, complete with a little wiggle.

“Just Theo.” Liam sighs.

“Heart eyes motherfucker!”

This is why he doesn’t make friends.


	4. Chaotic Bisexual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Sofia for her stellar beta services and advise. So if something doesn't make sense it's all her fault.

 

Liam wakes up somewhere around three in the early hours of Friday morning, throat a little dry. The apartment is cold and only pale twilight pours through the living room window, a faint breeze drifting with Liam down the hallway on his way to the kitchen.

As he opens the fridge his eye catches sight of the calendar stuck to the front of it and at first he pays no mind, takes out a can of coke and opens it. It’s only once he’s standing in front of the closed door staring at the little blocked dates that he realizes what he’s staring at.

His eyes settle on one date only. It’s not circled or marked in any physical way, not like it is in Liam’s mind. October first. He remembers this date written in messy handwriting on a stack of papers alongside the name Katherine Dunbar and big red block letters _Presence Unknown_.

His mother. Or, the woman who was supposed to fill that role and failed miserably, epically… painfully. He doesn’t remember much of her, he was only six when she left but he knows they called her Kitty and she had messy blonde hair, she drank a lot of ‘mommy juice’ that he now knows was booze and had special sweets that made her act funny or sleep a lot. When she was awake she was always out with other people, and left Liam in the care of neighbors for days. Days that eventually turned into weeks with no sign of her return.

At six, when they tell you, you’re on your way to go stay with a bunch of other kids in a huge house, you’re pretty fucking excited. Not so much when you get older and learn that’s not how the world is supposed to work at all, that a parent is never supposed to abandon their kid and leave them defenseless and alone.

He’ll never get answers to why she left him, he gave up on that search years ago, but he still wonders sometimes if it was him. Was he such a bad kid? Maybe he always picked fights like he still does now, and she just had enough. Maybe he was naughty and unruly. Or maybe she was just a junkie and there’s nothing more to it. No one will ever know.

“Liam. Hey buddy.” There’s a gentle hand on his shoulder that draws his attention back to the present and he realizes the coke is pouring from the can, accidentally tipped in his hand.

“Shit…” He spaced out a little, didn’t even hear it pour out but Mase obviously did.

“It’s okay. Look at me.” Mason says, his voice even and calm, hand still resting on Liam’s shoulder. Only when Liam looks at him and he’s sure Liam is fully present does he pull him into a hug. “What happened?”

“It’s her birthday.” Liam mumbles into Mason’s shoulder while he rubs wide sweeping circles over Liam’s back. He always does this when Liam is having a hard time and he can’t be more thankful for this guy.

Mason sighs against him and squeezes a little tighter. “I’m sorry.”

Still tucked into Mason, Liam whispers, “You think it was because of me?” and he knows the answer his friend will give him, it’s always the same when he asks. Perhaps one day it will be what he truly believes.

“No.” he replies firm and sure, “Some people are just shitty human beings Li.”

When he pulls away he grabs Liam’s hand and heads out to the fire escape. They climb through the tiny window and take up a seat beside each other while Mason digs around for Liam’s cigarettes underneath the step. He lights one up for Liam, taking a long drag of it before handing it over, he’s been rid of it for about a year but still sneaks one with Liam every now and again.

“Yeah okay, that’s enough.” he pinches the smoke away from Mason and brings it to his own lips.

“I miss it sometimes.” Mase says and tips his head back against the wall.

“You’re better off without it. It’ll just kill you sooner. 

“So why do you do it then huh?”

“You’re studying bro. You’re gonna get a good job and start a family, have a real nice life. You don’t need that cut short for you.”

“Liam…”

“Hey look, I’m just saying I’ll probably still be a pizza boy at seventy, and if that happens to become sixty then maybe it won't be the worst thing okay.” he smiles and nudges Mason with his shoulder. He’s only half joking though.

Mason looks at him pensively, then back at the soft yellow glow of the streetlamp above them. “You can still stay with me.”

“Huh?” Liam hums, frowning, puffing out a big white cloud.

“When I have the nice job and family and a big house, you can still stay with me. You can always stay with me.”

That hits Liam pretty hard. He knows Mason loves him, but to have something like security, stability and family offered to you with no reservations, that’s a pretty intense emotion to process. Liam’s eyes sting with wetness he doesn’t particularly care to let out right now, and if he speaks he’ll start bawling so he just rests his head on Mason’s shoulder in silent acknowledgment and takes another drag of his smoke. Mase is familiar with the words Liam doesn’t say, so he lets his head fall onto Liam’s, and they just sit there in the quiet of the dark.

* * *

 

That night unfortunately is the start of it all- the itchiness under his skin that he can’t seem to satiate, the noises that become too loud, people who seem like they never stop talking and eventually, the burning need to let off steam the only way he knows how - the only way that works. Violently. At first, Liam staves it off. He pushes every thought of Katherine Dunbar aside, of his orphanhood, his abandonment and the cold days of his childhood.

 He tries not to think of how his classmates were picked up after school by happy parents who packed them lunch, he tries not to think about the blatant disadvantage that the one person who should have loved him the most, put him in. Tries not to imagine what his life could have been had he been given a fair chance, a family, a shot at college. The strain thereof is too great, too heavy, too centered within him that he can’t focus on simple tasks anymore. He drops pizza on the floor, he short-changes customers, gets delivery addresses and topping orders wrong. Because every ounce of energy Liam possess goes into _not_ thinking about anything that hurts, or he might snap.

* * *

 

The prospect of a Friday night out with the guys brings some much needed relief,  one of three things could happen- he could hook up which should settle some of the chaos in his mind for at least a while, he could get blackout drunk and not think of anything for twelve hours while he sleeps it off, or things will get bloody and the itch will be scratched.

He still hasn’t gotten a haircut, it’s pretty fucking long now and smooths back effortlessly, he’s just finished shaving when Mason appears the doorway wearing torn black skinnies and a pink button down.

“How do I look?” he says brightly.

Liam slaps on some aftershave, “Good good good. Like candy floss.”

Mason laughs from deep in his throat, “Thanks. You gonna dress up for your boo?”

“My what?” He knows very well Mason is talking about Theo but plays dumb anyway.

“Theo! Bet he’s gonna look fucking banging tonight.”

He pats Mason’s cheek in passing, “And what the hell do you want me to with that huh?”

“Come on! You’re telling me you’re really not interested in the guy?” Mason says, following him around while he gets dressed - also black skinnies, paired with a charcoal vest and finished off with his combat boots. 

He thinks for a few seconds while slipping a couple of rings onto his knuckles and a long thin chain around his neck. There’s no denying that he’s maybe crushing a bit, but there’s really no point in nursing it when literally nothing will ever come of it. “No.” he arches up his brows at Mase, and lies, “I’m not.”

“Fine.” Mason says with a grin that speaks volumes then starts doing his hair. Liam scoots up beside him and digs around in the dresser drawer for his eyeliner. Seems like the kind of night to wear eyeliner.

“Oh!” Mason says next to him, “Oooh okay, okay. I see this is you not being interested.”

Liam makes a face at him, “I always wear it when we go out.”

“Uh huh. And it has nothing to do with the fact that you almost always hook up when you do wear it?”

Liam ignores him and proceeds to draw careful dark lines under and in the corners of his eyes, he’s got it down to a skill by now and even uses a smudger to make it stay in place. Even Mason’s breath catches when he eventually steps into the living room and he smirks.

“Wow” Mason sucks in a breath. “If Theo doesn’t at least try something tonight he’s either blind or a really unbendable straight dude.”

Liam rolls his eyes, “Mase, shut the hell up.” internally he’s beaming though, nothing like a sincere compliment to make you feel like a million bucks. He knows he’s not a bad looking guy, he sees the way people look at him, never had a problem hooking up either, so the attention doesn’t get him all squirmy like some guys or girls get when they talk to him. Doesn’t keep him from feeling like a lesser person still.

 

* * *

 

For some reason, once they get to the club, he immediately starts scanning the place for Theo’s face. The music’s really loud, the front of the bar packed already and the loud voices and people shoving just fuels on the heat under his skin begging to get out, it strangely dissipates momentarily when he eventually spots Theo. He looks insane as usual, the dude is beautiful Liam can’t deny that the way he denies what he feels in that moment. Theo’s got blue jeans and a white Henley on, clings to every single muscle like nothing Liam’s ever seen before.

He walks a little slower, waits for Mason and Corey to catch up, and allows himself a second to stare before Theo notices him, allows himself to wonder - if his life was different and he was some fancy accountant or lawyer - what it would be like to lay wrapped up in those arms and have that body pressed warm to his back, to kiss Theo every morning before he even opens his eyes. He bets that would have been the very epitome of happiness.

Much like Mason, Theo seems pretty taken by Liam when he does finally see him. Liam watches his face drop and shoulders tense, and then he quickly corrects it and smiles again. Liam’s not sure why he’s such a dork sometimes but it’s kind of cute. “Hey Red! Over here!” Theo shouts over the music and heads toward them, Liam notices he’s with two other guys at the bar who turns to look when he comes over. Two other preps, he vaguely remembers the one from the night he met Theo.

“Hey.” he greets back and oh.. Theo’s coming in for a hug… right. “Uh, okay… hi. Hey.” he lets his arms come up to Theo’s sides to hug him back, doesn’t miss the firmness under his finger tips. Kind of wishes he can just hold on, but he doesn't.

“How’s it going?” Theo asks when he pulls away, still holding Liam by the shoulders. His hands are incredibly warm and soft, his perfectly manicured fingers contrasted by tainted skin full of pictures.

“Good.” Liam smiles, sort of shaken by their proximity, “You?” 

Theo winks, “I’m good now.” then he lets Liam go to greet Mason and Corey. Mase also gets a hug, Corey a warm handshake and a smile Liam wishes he was the recipient of.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to my friends.”  

The first guy is named Stiles. He barely turns to Liam, only a side glance and a quick once over from his boots to his hair. Asshole. Theo notices and shoots him a look, somewhere between a plead and a warning. It’s not like Liam’s not used to that kind of shit, he’s always getting those looks, what with the fiery hair and piercings and sleeves full of tattoos he doesn’t blame them. So he ignores this Stiles dude and looks to the other guy.

“This is Scott.” Theo says, angling their bodies slightly away from Stiles. Now, Scott seems much better. Scott looks kind and he also immediately smiles and sticks his hand out to Liam.

“Hey man.” He says, smile wide and genuine, “I’ve heard great things about you, nice to finally meet you.”

Liam chuckles when Theo stabs Scott in the ribs with his elbow to shut him up. He’s curious to know exactly what Theo's been saying.

“Nice to meet you, Scott. This is Mason and his boyfriend Corey.” he carefully watches Scott and Stiles’ expression at the mention of boyfriend, ready to throw down if they say anything - which they don’t - but Liam’s come across a few epic douches in his twenty-three years on this earth. He watches Scott and even Stiles greet them happily and start chatting about college- something Liam can’t relate to, so he keeps to himself. It’s also not surprising that they don’t get as much as a glare from this Stiles dude, those seem to be reserved for Liam only.

Theo’s at the bar ordering drinks and Liam’s forcing himself not to admire the thick muscles of his back or the plump curve of his ass in those jeans. That’s easier said than done so when Theo turns around, bright grin plastered on his pretty face, Liam only just manages to look away on time.

“You look like the kind of guy that drinks beer!” Theo shouts over the music, shoving a bottle into Liam’s ring clad fingers, a faint cling resounds as he takes it.

“Oh we’re back to judging books by their covers huh?” he smiles and takes a sip, eyes fixed on Theo.

“Revenge for the vegetarian assumptions.”

Liam chuckles, bordering on a giggle and he wonders when the hell he turned into the guy who giggles as well as blushes in the presence of other guys. Because the hard ass Liam from about roughly two weeks ago would never have.

“I love beer.”

Theo leans his elbow on the bar beside Liam, much to close for Liam’s sanity and lowly says “Good.” before taking a sip. Liam ignores his lips around the bottle tip. He really fucking ignores it.

“See that redhead on the dance floor?” Theo says after a few minutes of watching people dance.

Liam’s been watching her for a while, to be honest, she’s kind of impossible to miss since she moves like a goddamn machine on the floor. “Yep.”

“Now see those two idiots.” he points to Stiles and Scott whose mouths are gaping while watching the girl. Now to _that_ he can relate.

“They can’t decide who they’re in love with. Her, or each other.”

That makes Liam laugh, “As a bisexual myself I feel their pain.” he watches Theo’s eyes light up at that.

“Neutral?” he jokes quietly with a shy smile tugging at his mouth while he stares back at the floor again.

Liam leans in until he smells Theo’s expensive cologne again, almost feeling how he tenses up. “ _Chaotic_.” he whispers close to Theo’s ear. Theo laughs and Liam swears that despite the red strobe lights of the club, Theo is actually blushing.

“Chaotic Bisexual. Got it.”

Before Liam can ask the burning question, a sharp voice cuts in between them, “Come on losers, we’re going dancing!” Stiles grabs both of them, along with Scott, and pulls them to the dance floor.

On the dance floor Scott introduces the redhead to Liam, Corey, and Mason. Her name’s Lydia and she’s really nice, teases Stiles about his ridiculous dance moves but still swings an arm around both him and Scott. They’re pretty gone on her, that much is obvious.

Theo’s shoulder keeps bumping into him and at this point he’s not certain if it’s intentional or a product of the packed club, but he’s not complaining. Things only get slightly awkward when a girl drunkenly bumps into Liam, he stumbles forward and when he looks away from her apologetic hand gestures he finds himself square in front of Theo, hand still on his waist where he grabbed on for purchase. Theo’s eyes widen at the mere inches of distance between them now, but Liam decides that instead of backing off he’s going with it. He starts moving to the music again, pushes his hair out of his eye and Theo studiously follows the movement of Liam’s hand and his breath catches when that hands lands back on his other hip.

Liam looks up at him, to check if what he’s doing is okay, finds Theo pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and blinking back at him. He almost can’t stand the rush of heat he feels when Theo looks at him like this, and it’s that moment that he realizes Theo is probably not as straight as he assumed from the start, or that he at the very least doesn’t suffer from any toxic masculinity issues. He tries his hardest not to make this more than what it can be, but...

There’s a hand on his bicep, he realizes, Theo’s fingers curling around him as they sway in sync to Nicki Minaj’s Goodbye, not that Liam’s hearing any of the lyrics. He closes his eyes and lets the thumping beat run through his veins, focuses on Theo’s scent and his hands, his body moving with Liam’s. He knows he can’t have this, not ever - he’ll never let himself - but a taste never hurt anyone.

He considers taking a step closer when he’s yanked back by someone else’s hand, much harsher than Theo’s, and then he’s pulled into a death grip and hauled to the bar. Stiles. Liam cringes at the contact, and ducks out of Stiles’ hold, who is seemingly unaware that you don’t just grab people and manhandle them.

“Drink?” he yells out above the music.

Liam’s sure his face is pulled into a kind of grimace even if he’s trying to keep it casual, pretending he’s not semi infuriated about being dragged away from Theo like that. “Yeah sure,” he says stiffly and flips a few bills onto the counter. Stiles ignores the money, pretends he doesn’t even see it and Liam’s not sure if that’s his way of saying it’s his round or…

“So Scott tells me you’re a pizza boy.” Stiles says and slowly pushes the money back to him. Now he gets it, he knows that smug look and the condescending way he speaks. Because of course. Liam slaps his hand over the cash and shoves it back in his pocket, steeling himself for the conversation he’s had with a million different Stiles’ in a million different places.

“I work for a pizza place yeah.”

“Nice. I’m studying to be a lawyer.”

“That'll suit you.” Liam says flatly and takes a swig of his beer.

Stiles grins wide and kind of jeering, “I know right? So tell me, Lance…”

“Liam.”

“What?”

Liam hates him. “My name. It’s Liam.”

“Same thing.” Stiles trails his eyes down Liam’s arms, first the black and white sleeve then the colorful one, “So wanna tell me how a pizza boy affords all these tattoos? Shit’s expensive and the last time I checked you people earn minimum…”

“You people?”

“Yeah man, I just mean like waiters and whatever.”

“What waiters or ‘whatever’ earn is none of your fucking business. Neither are these tattoos.”

“Hey cool it, man, I was just making conversation.”

Liam shoves the beer into Stile’s chest, doesn’t give a shit if he’s got a hold of it or not before he lets go. If he doesn’t ditch the guy right now he’ll end up doing something he’ll regret like plow his fist into his face repeatedly and he really doesn’t want Theo thinking badly of him, not when he was kind enough to invite him here. “It was nice meeting you Stiles. Cheers,” he says as politely as he can manage and walks back to Mason.

He purposely avoids Stiles for the rest of the night, still notices the dude glaring at him from wherever he’s standing, the upside being that he’s in Theo’s company and gets to see him laugh wholeheartedly at the jokes Mason makes, catches him glancing at Liam every so often. They dance again too but not as close as they did before, Liam makes a point to move away from him because this time he might not be able to stop. What’s the point of starting something right? But fuck, does he want to.

After a spin on the dance floor with Lydia, Theo stumbles up to Liam, breathless and smiling and a faint sheen of sweat forming on his forehead, his huge chest heaving and cheeks dusted pink. He slams himself down on the bar counter beside Liam, “Oh god, that girl has no end!” he says to Liam and turns to the barman, “Can I have a water please?”

“You guys can do that dancing show on tv. You’re pretty good.”

Out of breath Theo replies, “She’ll kill me before that dude. I might be a football player but I also eat way too much junk food to keep up with her on any level, never mind professionally.”

“She’s a dancer?”

“Yeah. Ballet for seven years, and now hip hop or whatever. Actually, studies dance.”

“Huh. Impressive. If it makes you feel better I wouldn’t be able to keep up either.”  Liam nudges Theo’s arm and winks. “And I'm as fit as a racehorse.”

It makes him laugh and Liam loves that… woah… love? When did he start loving things this dude did. He corrects his thoughts as if that will change what he really feels as if simply denying it makes it go away. He really _likes_ when Theo laughs and his eyes crinkle in the corners, he likes that his voice is even rasper when he’s chuckling. Mostly he likes that Theo laughs because of him.

After a big gulp of water Theo looks at him, “So uh, I wanted to tell you earlier… I like the...” Theo motions to his eyes, “the makeup. Looks nice.”

Liam remembers he’s wearing eyeliner and absently rubs under his eye, “Oh, thank you. Real emo huh?”

“Nah. Unique I’d say. Not many guys can pull it off.”

Liam smiles and tries not to blush again. Being around Theo seems to keep the darker thoughts at bay, he’s not as hard on himself as he’s been all week and his mom hasn’t featured in his thoughts all night, not even when Stiles made him feel like shit. The peace doesn’t last though.

Stiles slithers up to them again while Liam’s telling Theo about Gino and the fancy new car he brought to work during the week to show off. Mason and Theo cream about the car he shows them photos of, Liam thinks they’ll get along great while Corey peers over Mason’s shoulder, but apparently Stiles takes this as an invite to join their conversation.

“So, is that him?” Stiles asks casually taking a swig of his drink.

Liam lowers the phone and everyone’s heads swivel to Stiles. The asshole looks around to make sure he’s got everyone’s attention and Liam’s stomach feels like he swallowed rocks.

“Who?”

“Your boyfriend.” Stiles says simply, shrugging.

A mix of discomfort and confusion settles around the table, but Liam knows exactly where Stiles is headed with this. From the corner of his eye, he sees Theo look down into his drink, fingers wrapped around his glass, and he hates that, he hates the sadness in his composure even though he’s still adamant that Theo should _not_ be feeling that way about him at all. That infuriates Liam even more.

“He’s my…”

Stiles cuts him off, “You know, the one paying for the ink. What do they call it? Sugar daddy.” He looks to Scott – who frowns disgustedly and shakes his head, looking away from Stiles – “Yeah that’s the word.”

“Stiles come on.” Scott says, at least trying to salvage how awkward things have gotten.

“He’s my boss!” Liam growls, thinking he’s going to crush this bottle in his hand if he grips it any tighter. Theo’s still not looking at him.

Stiles laughs, “Oh sure pizza boy.”

Liam sees red, aware his hands have started shaking. He stands up and so does everyone else. “What the fuck is your problem man??”

Stiles takes a step forward, he’s way too fucking close, Liam can smell the beer on his breath. “My problem is what the fuck you want with my buddy over here.” he gestures to Theo. “Hmm? Why are you here?”

“Stiles!” Theo eventually pipes up, but Stiles ignores him.

“Liam, let’s just go buddy.” Mason tugs desperately on his arm but Liam stays fixed on the spot waiting for Stiles’ next words, his fists already balled up.

“What, you think you’re gonna get lucky by sucking his dick a few times and he’ll pay the way for you?”

And that’s it, Liam pulls back and shoves Stiles so hard he falls onto his ass. He's already leaping forward to deck the guy but someone pulls him back. He knows neither Mason nor Corey are strong enough to do that, realizes then that it’s Theo behind him. “Hey man, calm down, he’s just being an asshole,” Theo says but that just fuels the fire. Liam is beside himself with rage right now and no amount of logic can tame him.

Liam shoves Theo off him too, hard, “Fuck you. Fuck all of you!!” and then he storms off. Leaves Theo’s startled, beautiful, face and Stiles’ threats of lawyers behind him and disappears down an alleyway once he’s outside.

He acknowledges then, with absolute clarity, why him and Theo can never _ever_ happen.

 


	5. (not your) Sugar Baby

There's a slight stirring beside Liam and a warm ass pressed to his groin that is entirely too soft to be a guy's. He palms at it anyway, creaks an eye open to a mop of thick dark curls on a pillow that doesn't belong to him.  

The memories of the night before come back, flooding. The club and Theo, his stupid friend and the bitter taste of humiliation. Liam's sure his cheeks are still flushed with embarrassment.

The aftermath thereof also seeps back piece by piece as the inevitable hangover headache sets in… the sexy little bar lady at the dingy pub on the other side of town and his less than desirable, but apparently very effective pick-up lines.

 Well, he knew from the start there’d be only one outcome to last night and since Theo stopped him from beating the shit out of Stiles, he hooked up instead. Won’t admit to himself even as he thinks it, that there was only one person on his mind while he fucked her brains out. And she liked it.

He’s a chaotic bisexual after all, isn’t he?

The girl, he thinks her name is Sarah, shifts again and groans sleepily. He can’t ignore that he’s hard, and he has nothing better to do all day or for the rest of the weekend for that matter, so he palms her ass and squeezes. Liam nudges his nose against the back of her head until she rolls onto her stomach, spreading out beneath him.

She mumbles, “Mmm, morning.” face half pressed into the pillows and arches her back.

He doesn’t say anything, just wedges himself between her legs and pins her wrists to the headboard, presses wet kisses to the back of her neck and rolls his hips against her ass.

All while he fights images of a rich boy with eyes as green as the first leaves of spring, and a voice like gravel. Images that insert themselves into a mind that would rather forget altogether.

 

* * *

 

That Monday is hell from another dimension, he’s in the foulest of moods despite getting thoroughly laid, he’s bored because the shop is empty, and he hasn’t even been home and apart from telling Mason he’s fine he has avoided his phone like the plague. He knows there are messages waiting for him, messages and missed calls from Theo.

And he’s decided, with finality this time, to cut that shit short before it even has time to root itself within him. That life’s not for him, it’s not meant for someone like him. Whatever Theo wanted with him, he’ll find a version tenfold better in his own circles, someone who won’t embarrass him, someone he won’t have to explain the lack of everything to. A wealthy, boat shoe wearing boy… Whatever he wants. But Liam’s not that guy.

He asks Gino to put him in the back to cook instead of working the till, he can’t deal with demanding Customers right now, can’t deal with another “is it gluten free though?” He wants to punt gluten into the fucking sun the way he’s feeling. Ultimately he knows it has nothing to do with the apparent poison in wheat but everything to do with all the other things that are slowly killing him, namely Katherine Dunbar, cigarettes and feelings he has no business having.

“Li! The dough! It’s not a massage parlor. Go easy…” Tony grabs him by the wrists and eases his hands away from the dough he’s nearly kneaded into the counter. “Come on cucciolo, move over.”

Liam steps aside and lets Tony take over while he keeps busy at the topping section. “Let me swing it okay?” he says nodding to the dough Tony’s nursing back to something useful.

“Yeah? No, you’ll throw it and break a window.”

Liam laughs at him, “Come on.”

Tony raises one thick eyebrow at him, “Okay okay. No angry pizza okay?”

Liam agrees, “No angry pizza.”

They make simple small talk here and there but work mostly in silence aside from the buzzing of customer’s voices out front and the whirring sounds of kitchen appliances. Later - about a dozen pizzas later - Liam finally goes out for a smoke.

He stands with his back against the wall, takes long deep drags until this throat burns. Halfway through the smoke Liam checks his phone, tells himself that no matter what comes up when he switches it on, he’s not going back on what he decided- that Theo is still a thing of the past and best it stays that way.

Mason’s texts come through first, worried but not surprised, Liam smiles at the row of upside down emojis Mason sent at four in the morning, clearly exasperated. He already envisions the speech he’ll get after work. There’s even a hapless text from Corey “Please dude. Answer. Wanna sleep” which he feels slightly bad about.

And then there’s Theo. Theo with the fucking face like a Michelangelo painting, gorgeous Theo. Theo that he is now ignoring with no explanation at all, no reason given. It’s a strange conflicting feeling inside him as he checks the messages Theo sent, he’s pissed because he doesn’t want it, doesn’t want to feel what it makes him feel but on the other hand he’s kind of relieved to see the texts. Thinks it would have felt considerably worse if he hadn’t heard from Theo at all.

It’s exactly this kind of crazy that he can’t deal with. Wanting but not wanting, daydreaming then denying himself the thought, being close but so so far away. It’s insanity in its purest form, how madmen came to be. And you can’t be poor and crazy, you gotta be built for this world somehow, pick your battles, and Liam chooses to rather survive.

It's hard but he ignores the texts and carries on about his day, doesn't quite get himself to block Theo's number even if that would make the most sense if he wants to shut him out.

The rest of the afternoon is quiet until Mason shows up for a late lunch with a set scowl between his eyes. Liam's stomach drops. He hates himself for making the people he loves angry, the ones who care the most.

“Oh! Wooow you’re alive?” Mason says flatly, sitting down at the side counter.

He looks at Mason with a sheepish grin, “I sent you a message. I was fine.”

“Yeah buddy, and then you don't come home for two days.” he folds out a menu and despite the friendly name, Mason calls him, his tone is edgy and mad. He shakes his head. “You know I worry about you, you dick.”

“And you know you don't have to.” Liam says, he doesn't want Mason to worry, not ever, but it feels good to know he cares that much. When someone loves you they worry. Liam hasn't had much of that in his life.

“But I do anyway Liam. I don't want to see you get hurt, I don't wanna see your face all beat up and bloody, or how you limp after a fight. I worry that one day that'll be the least of our worries…”

Liam swallows, “Tony!” he shouts to the back, “Make up a pepperoni calzone, extra cheese.”

“Placating with pizza. Really?”

“I didn't get in a fight, Mase.”

Mason points to the scratches in his neck and the blue and purple bruises stringing down his jaw to his chest, visible even through the tattoos. “Then what did you do??”

Liam shrugs, “A girl.”

That seems to tug Mason's lips into a smile. “Jesus.” he looks shy now, glances away.

Just then Liam's phone starts buzzing on the countertop. He and Mason both see Theo's name flash across the screen. Mason looks up at him, stares a hole into the side of his face as he swipes the red reject button.

“Answer it. I'll wait.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Nope.”

Mason’s mouth opens, shuts then he finally says, “You know what happened on Friday wasn't his fault, right?”

“I know.”

Mason’s shoulders drop in that tell-tale exasperation he has reserved only for Liam’s antics, “Liam what are you doing? You’re acting like a child.”

Liam puffs out a breath, rolls his neck, “I can’t.”

“He’s a good guy Li, he’s nice and kind and-”

“I can’t Mase.” Liam gives him a look that he hopes shows finality, Mason’s always been good at reading Liam, knows when to stop pushing.

He still sighs and sets his jaw, says, “Okay buddy… Okay.” and looks away from Liam to Tony who strides up with his calzone.

Mason digs in. There’s not much for Liam to do but sit around until closing time, Mondays are slow. He picks at pieces of the crust Mason leaves behind, still not super into pizza and although he is hungry for a change, he supposes he can make noodles when he gets home.

Slow Mondays also mean silly Mondays, to Tony anyway, so Liam’s not surprised when Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas of all the cheesy tunes in the world, starts booming through the shop speakers and Tony does a Risky Business slide into the front of the shop, singing along.

Liam, Mason and one of the other pizza boys Andy, starts laughing when Tony does a full-on show, using the mop as a mic and imitates suggestive hip movements to the music.

It’s hilarious to watch, and Tony’s giving them that look like he wants them to sing back up vocals, so just as the chorus builds Andy jumps off his chair first and joins Tony in the middle of the floor, does a flirty little jiggle with the broom. (Gino’s going to murder all of them when he watches the footage) And they sing, loud and like total idiots until Mason can’t stand it and joins them and they start singing for Liam.

They’ve somehow become synced with the dumb dance and Liam is cracking up at the sight of three grown men screeching at the impossibly high notes. Tony hooks Liam closer with his finger while the other two deliver a solid backup performance. The dorks.

“Oh no. No, I’m not…”

“Li. Come. Show us how the handsome boys sing!”

He leans back on the counter, “Nah, seems like you got this, T!”

Mason slides up in front of him, _sings “I don't’ want a lot for Christmas…”_ at him, vehemently, and offers him the stereo remote as a mic, and makes the fucking puppy eyes Liam can’t deny. He rolls his eyes at Mason, can’t stop grinning though, because this is so stupid.

But maybe stupid is exactly what he needs.

So, he grabs the remote from Mason and starts singing too, and soon all of them are dancing around the empty shop like lunatics, matching Mariah note for note. They’re probably smiling more than they actually pay attention to the lyrics, while simultaneously trying to follow the dance moves Tony just made up to the song.

It’s nuts, and it’s fun and for those few minutes Liam has no worries in the world, he’s carefree and unbothered and smiling. It feels good, really really good. And for a moment, he thinks, maybe he’ll be okay.

His life’s full off fleeting moments like these.

It’s almost five when the phone rings. Tony flops breathlessly over the counter to answer it in his put on thick Italian accent, Andy straight up says he’s not dealing with late deliveries and heads out, Liam curses him silently.

“Got it. Got it. Vegetarian with steak strips. It’ll be about twenty minutes yeah?” Tony hangs up shortly after that and starts up on the pizza. “Delivery, uptown. Can you drop it on your way?”

“I don’t go that way.” Liam says.

Tony kneads a ball of dough and sprinkles some flour over it, flicking it at Liam who watches from the arched window to the kitchen. “Okay, you go that way tonight. For me. I have a date. I’ll owe you one.”

“You gotta stop thinking people will do stuff for you because you’re nice looking and talk like a perfume advert.”

He shrugs like he really can’t help it, “They like the face. What can I do?”

Liam pulls a face at him, “Fine.” He leaves for the bathroom to get the spots of flour off his face before he goes to deliver the pizza. Once again, he notices how long his hair is getting, the red is even starting to grow out at the roots, he’ll really need to visit Kira soon. For now, a fucking man bun has to do, he can’t say it doesn’t look kind of cute though.

He tells himself it’s for practical purposes though. He re-ties it and pats his cheeks with cold water and tucks his red work shirt back in his jeans, it’s gotten a bit loose around his waist since he’s eating habits have been questionable of late. He’s hoping Mason won’t notice and mom him about it, the sleeves are still pretty tight around his arms, so he’ll probably get away with it for a bit longer.

By the time Tony has the order ready Liam is freshened up and ready to go. He grabs the delivery bike’s keys and the order and gets the address from Tony.

Now, usually Liam wouldn’t be seen dead on these dumb delivery scooters, but Gino is a man that loves his machines so their delivery bike is a red, somewhat supercharged, pretty little thing that only Liam and Tony are permitted to drive. Of course, he slips his leather jacket and black helmet on too. He smiles catching his reflection in the shop doors. Looks pretty badass as he drives off.

It’s not a long drive uptown with a speed machine between his legs, but it is quite the view as Liam follows the GPS up the hill decorated with extravagant houses, the kinds with tennis courts in their backyards and infinity pools and large glass framed balconies. All while the sun sets in shades of orange and dusty pinks up ahead.

He hopes that in another life he’ll get a chance at a life like this, that he'll get to wake up in a huge bedroom with aircon and plush carpets and maybe someone he can watch this sunset with.

Liam turns the last corner and is promptly told he’s reached his destination nearing a cluster of apartments right on the edge of the hill. He’s never delivered here before but the security at the gate recognizes the bike as a delivery vehicle and lets him in, points him to 510 Omega Road.

He lifts the helmet off and hooks it over the handle then digs around in the back caddie for the pizza box. There’s a little path that leads up to a small garden gate – he’s thanking his lucky stars that it’s a ground floor unit and there’s no climbing of stairs involved.

The little gate opens easily, and he walks into a neatly kept garden that leads up to a huge patio. There’s an outdoor table scattered with thick textbooks, pens, a calculator and empty Red Bull cans. Way too many to warrant healthy heart conditions.

“Uh, Hi?” he calls out as he steps onto the patio. There’s still no answer so he knocks on the glass sliding door a few times, “Hi. I’m from Gino’s with the pizza,” he checks the label, “Veg with steak … oh…”

His brain decides then to put two and two together. He’s only ever met one person who orders veg and then adds steak, plus the rich neighborhood and finally, a brilliant and familiar smell as the glass door slides open- expensive cologne that’s basically been stuck in his nostrils since the first time he smelled it.

Theo.

“Oh no. No no no.” he says in protest when Theo steps out from behind the flowy white curtains, starts walking away, pizza and all.

“Red!! Wait!” Theo’s out on the patio now. Liam doesn’t even want to look at him, he’s so close to faltering, to throwing caution to wind with his plan of avoiding Theo and just diving into it. (He knows he’s not capable of staying away, but he has always been partial to internal struggles, so he humors himself.)

“I’m not doing this! I’m not going to be your little sugar baby or whatever! I don’t want to be a fucking sugar baby okay??” He’s fucking hysterical. He doesn’t know why he’s hysterical. “That’s not why-”

“I know that!!” Theo shouts over him, then softens his tone and says, “Shut up… I know that.”

With his back still to Theo he exhales, “Then what??” and slowly turns to face him. He’s in all black- sweats, loose t-shirt and goddam fluffy slippers with kitty ears. Fucking kitty ears. Fuck him, he’s adorable.

Theo takes caution in coming a bit closer, pulls his lips together in a small smile. And honestly, that’s even worse than Mason’s puppy eyes, between the two of them Liam has no chance in hell.

“Just… friends. I just want to be your friend.”

“Why?” Liam blurts out, Theo tilts his head sideways and looks at him like he’s gone crazy. He’s sure he has. “I mean you’ve got friends. You’ve got _fantastic_ friends.” Liam snorts. “You don’t need me too.”

“I don’t _need_ you… but I _like_ spending time with you.” He clears his throat and quickly adds, “Mason and Corey are pretty cool too.”

There’s an annoying part of Liam that frets over the words “don’t need” but a bigger part of him is unbelievably happy about someone _wanting_ to be around him. So, Liam gives in.

“You called my work and had me deliver a pizza to your house because I wouldn’t talk to you, all because you wanna be my friend?”

Theo flushes pink to the tips of his ears, “I’m not a stalker I swear. I just… I like you, Liam, you’re nice. You’re different.”

"I’m not a charity case.” Liam reiterates.

“I know that.” Theo looks back up at him, does the small smile again. “So… friends?”

He regards Theo carefully, and there’s nothing but sincerity on his face, in his posture, so Liam says, “I can do that.” like it’s a business contract and he’s an insociable idiot. None of that matters when Theo’s face breaks into a splitting grin that warms Liam inside out.

“Yeah?”

“Friends I guess.” He says and rolls his eyes, tries his best not to jump out of his skin. Because fuck yes, he can totally be Theo’s friend. If they make this rule now, that they’re friends, then he’s got clear guidelines to go by and lines he’ll know not to cross. He can be friends.

‘Friends’ is not the weird limbo of attraction they found themselves in from the start, and while there is no denying that he still thinks Theo is probably the prettiest boy he’s ever seen, he doesn’t want anything more than that. _Theo_ doesn't want anything more than that.

That’s what he tells himself, even as his stomach erupts with butterflies when Theo smiles, takes the pizza from him and invites him inside. Tells himself that he can never be more for Theo, that Theo deserves better than what Liam is. But he can be his friend.

 

He knows he was never _really_ prepared to lose Theo.

 


	6. Just Red

 

“So, what do you rich boys do on a nice Saturday like today? Take your yacht for a stroll or whatever?” Liam says, phone pinched between his cheek and shoulder while he hops around to pull his sneakers on.

 

Theo laughs groggy and rough on the other end of the line, just woken up, “Uh, well. First of all Red, I resent that. Secondly, the yacht isn’t due for another _stroll_ ‘till New Year.”

 

“Jesus you actually got a yacht?? Anyway, you won’t be able to call me Red much longer if I don’t get my hair done and I thought you could use some more downtown tours. What’d you say? You up for it?”

 

“Yeah, yeah sure. Meet you outside your building in half an hour?”

 

“Don’t come park that Audi here if you want it back by the end of the day.”

 

He hears Theo’s smile in his voice, “I was gonna take a cab!”

 

“Sweet!”

 

“Bye Red.”

  

Liam is leaning against the building, smoking, when Theo shows up. He’s wearing a soft-looking white hoodie and jeans, still looks half asleep but he’s carrying two tall coffees to remedy that.

 

“Nice to see you in something other than your pizza shirt.” Theo says and hands him one of the cups, still steaming from the lid.

 

“That ugly, huh?”

 

Liam takes the coffee and stomps out his smoke. They make their way down the road to the barbershop.

 

“Oh, no. It just makes me hungry every time.” Theo takes a sip.

 

Liam grins, “Hmm. I’ve been told I have that effect on people.”

 

Theo laughs beautifully and loud, shoves Liam to the side, “I meant it makes me think of pizza all the time and carbs are the enemy.”

 

He likes the way he can smile around this guy; how easy it comes. They walk in silence mostly, shoulders bumping from time to time. It’s a long downward hill toward town, empty and quiet aside from a few passing cars and the sounds of their shoes on the tarmac.  Liam shows Theo his old school from the hilltop, shows him where he and Mason skateboards sometimes, where they go to get the best Chinese food and promises to take him there some time.

 

They reach the barbershop about twenty minutes later, coffee finished and Liam’s a little out of breath. Theo is doing fine however, Liam’s not surprised in the least, with a body like that…

He stops himself as fast as the thought enters his mind. You’re not supposed to think like this about your _friend_. 

 

“It’s uh… in here.”

 

Theo spins around, looks at the narrow little alleyway where Liam has stopped. Liam blushes, he’s sure Theo gets his hair cut at one of those fancy get-ups with the all-white chairs and clean glass windows. This is nothing like it. Kira’s place is a small, dingy storeroom converted into a barbershop. Much like his apartment it’s homey, not luxurious, and most of the time there’s a light bulb flickering on and off and a broken neon red sign hangs tilted above the door.

 

“Oh! Sorry.” He says smiling, unaffected, “Lead the way.”

 

Liam opens the door and inside Kira dances to Metallica near the counter, busy cleaning her tools in a large glass container. The music’s on so loud she doesn’t hear them enter. Liam sneaks up behind her and grabs her waist.

 

He’s an idiot and he knew going into this what would happen, so when Kira spins around and pins him to the counter with a massive silver Katana against his throat, he can only laugh through his nerves.

 

“Hi.” He says meekly and shoots her a stupid grin.

 

“Oh my god!” she drops the sword, “Liam! I could have killed you!!”  she helps him back up and throws her arms around his shoulders.

 

Liam hugs her back; his arms go around her small frame easily. He breathes contently into her hair, “Hey there.”

 

Theo stands awkwardly in the doorway, his green eyes wide when Kira looks at him. God, he must think they are totally nuts.

 

“Sorry!” she says and lets Liam go, “I don’t always try to murder my customers, just wasn’t expecting someone this early. I’m Kira!”

 

Thankfully, Theo laughs and sticks his hand out to her. “Oh, that’s fine. That’s a pretty neat sword though. I’m Theo. Liam’s,” a short pause follows, “friend.”

 

Kira’s head whips between them, mouth parting for words that don’t come. Liam knows it’s because she’s fully aware that he doesn’t just make _friends_ , and if he does, it’s a once in a blue moon type thing.

 

“Well, it’s really nice to meet you, Theo. Come in! Who are we doing today?”  

 

“Me. I need to do something with this please.” Liam says dragging a hand through his thick red strands of hair.

 

“Another Mohawk?”

 

“No! Jesus no.” Liam sits down in the chair at the basin. Kira drapes a black cape over him and laughs.

 

“Why?? It looked so good!?”

 

“It did!” Theo confirms, and Liam wishes his heart didn’t just lurch in his ribcage.

 

“Well, it grows out badly and gets in my eyes when I work. Also, Tony said I look like a rooster.” He mumbles the last part and ignores it when the other two bursts out laughing.

 

Kira washes his hair and uses some gross chemical to rinse out the red dye, makes his eyes sting. When he’s back in front of the mirror, he sees Theo admiring Kira’s tattoos then Liam’s. Unlike Liam, Kira has both her legs covered too and likes to wear shorts to show them off. He doesn’t blame her; their artist is fantastic.

 

“You’re blonde?!” Theo says surprised when Liam catches his eyes in the mirror.

 

He looks at his light hair, he’s almost forgotten that part, “Yeah. Guess so.” Theo doesn’t look away for a bit, Liam does because he can’t stand it and if he looks long enough, he’ll want more than to just look.

 

“Okay, so what’re we doing?” Kira asks from behind him.

 

“Just… make it like his.” He nods to Theo and the guy beams, and that Liam can’t look away from if he tried.

 

“Colour?”

 

Liam has wanted to try blue for as long as he can remember. It looks great on Kira and Corey did it once, too. Mason hated it. But, he thinks, what would Theo call him then? Would he stop calling him Red? That’s not something he wants in the least, he likes the way Theo says it. He likes that he feels like a part of something, how he feels special even if it probably means nothing more to Theo than a teasing nickname. To Liam, it’s the same as Jenna calling him nugget, or Mason calling him buddy. To him, it means plenty.

 

“Red.” he says resolutely and smiles at Theo. “Just red.”

 

Theo’s face, once again, does something wonderful making Liam wish he had a camera on him right that second.

 

They’re there for about two hours. Liam sits with his head covered in a bunch of tiny foil strips for the bleach that Theo finds hilarious and snaps about a hundred photos of. When Kira brings out the red dye she tells Theo to keep to the corner, so she doesn’t ruin is ‘crispy white uptown top’ with hair dye. He keeps busy by playing with her sword and a black hairdressing cape, taking photos of himself this time. Liam watches amused the entire time.

 

 He walks out of Kira’s barbershop with a fresh cut, spiked up in the front, glowing a bright red. He likes it.

 

“Next stop?” Theo asks, his eyes tumbling over Liam’s new look.

 

Liam thinks for a moment, remembering how Theo checked out their tattoos and Stiles’ cruel words a few nights ago and suddenly he has something to prove. “Come. Wanna show you something.”

 

“Can we get food after? I’m starving? Have you even had breakfast?”

 

“Uh…” he hasn’t. Apart from the two slices of pizza, he forced down for lunch yesterday and half a bowl of noodles he had last night he hasn’t had a decent meal in a long time. “No. I’m not really hungry.”

 

Theo gives him a look, and he swears it could be Mason looking at him. “Yeah okay fine. Fine. There’s a bagel stand down the road to where we’re going.”

 

Theo smiles and knocks his shoulder into Liam’s. He grins and keeps walking down the long winding street now filled with people and sounds. Still, as he watches Theo walk beside him, trying to be subtle about where his eyes fall, he can’t help but feel they’re the only ones there. He looks pretty and happy, his cheeks a light pink from walking and his hair messy and windblown. A secret little corner of Liam’s heart burns at the sight, aches, but he shuts it out.

 

Theo’s ordering them each a bagel at the stand and Liam scans the people passing by when he sees a young boy, probably eighteen, sitting on the sidewalk against a wall. He’s dirty and looks worse for wear and on his bare arm, Liam sees the small circular tattoo similar to the one Liam has on his wrist. He knows there are only certain kinds of people who have this tattoo. His people.

 

He walks up ahead and kneels down in front of the boy.

 

“What you looking at?” the kid says to him, scowl between his eyes.

 

Liam shares a tight smile and flips his wrist over to show him the tattoo. It’s a crescent moon with shooting stars, a tradition with the orphans of Geyer Home. It’s supposed to be a symbol of hope, a promise among them that they will rise and be better and look out for one another. Liam’s throat gets tight thinking of when he got his own.

 

 

Jimmy had stolen a tattoo kit by some miracle and they laughed about it all the way home. Now, there weren’t many things Jimmy was good at, he was only street smart and failed most of his classes, but one thing he could do was draw. That night they sat on the roof again, and Jimmy’s crazy eyes glittered in the moonlight, his smile so heart-warming in the dead of winter that Liam hardly felt the cold.

 

They sat facing one another and Jimmy asked, while putting the tattoo gun together, “What’re you getting?”

 

They were fifteen for Christ’s sake, what did he know. But in his young wisdom, he replied, “The moon.”

 

“Why?” asked Jimmy, pulling Liam’s arm into his lap.

 

“Helps us see in the dark.”

 

Jimmy looked up at him, eye still black from a sucker punch, his nose too big for his skinny face and said, “Yeah, it does, huh. It does.”

 

He always treated Liam like he was the smartest guy around, he remembers what that felt like to this day.

 

The tattoo hurt like fire, he remembers that too. No numbing cream, no Aspirin. Jimmy finished it with four rays of shooting starts coming from the moon’s belly. Those, he said, were for guiding the way, to help Liam be better and to help him get out. Out being anywhere but stuck in poverty.

 

The tattoo was squiggly, and it bled but it was beautiful.

 

Jimmy cleaned Liam’s arm and the needle with a bottle of Jack (also stolen of course) and then started on his own one. The exact same moon but no stars. When Liam asked, Jimmy simply said, “Eh. I ain’t leavin’ this place alive. But you, man, you gonna make a difference out there Li.” and grinned all toothy and content not knowing how heartbreakingly true that was.

 

“Shut up big nose.” Liam said, and they spread out on their backs against the roof tiles, skin burning, while they polished off the Jack between the two of them.

 

 

“You hungry?” Liam asks the kid who is staring up at him, pupils shot wide and black. He nods. “What’s your name?”

 

“Devon.” He says, then, “How’s it feel making it out?”

 

Liam looks sideways to see Theo standing beside him with two delicious bagels and steaming coffees. His face is twisted, sympathetic, and Liam can see Theo hates this as much as he does. He’s not used to seeing this kind of thing, not where he’s from. He’s probably never been so close to poverty in his life before.

 

“Tell you what,” Liam says to Devon, taking one bagel and coffee from Theo, “You eat this, get up and head over to the alley on 7th. There’s a girl with a salon, her name’s Kira, tell her Liam sent you. And when you get out too, you come find me and tell me yourself what it feels like yeah?”

 

Devon’s eyes get shiny and he blinks, “Thanks.” He takes the food from Liam with shaky hands.

 

“Yeah. No problem man.”

 

Theo doesn’t say a word, but he’s looking at Liam with something warm and reverent in his eyes. Liam chokes back his own tears and says, “Well? Come on.” He strides ahead and holds his hand out for the remaining bagel, not that he’s hungry but he remembers what it’s like not to have anything and he doesn’t want to be ungrateful.

 

Theo takes a bite and hands it to him without question. Liam smiles and digs in. It tastes surprisingly good, so he has no problem to happily share it and the coffee with Theo as they walk. For the first time in a long while he feels full and satisfied, not just in his belly, his heart too.

 

Before they enter the building, Liam looks back up the road and Devon is gone. Perhaps this was the difference Jimmy said he’ll make one day. He smiles to himself and pushes the door open.

 

Inside, Corey is busy with a customer in the chair, “Hey! Come over here!” he calls to the front of the shop. This place is fancier than Kira’s salon and Liam’s apartment, it’s big and open and the walls decorated with artwork. It’s the only tattoo shop in town so they do pretty well for themselves given how many people walk around looking like Liam.

 

Liam nods at Theo to join him, he has to chuckle because realization dawns on Theo’s beautiful face as he looks around.

 

“This,” Liam says gesturing around the shop, “is where I get my ink from. And I don’t have to fuck Corey to get it, that’s Mason’s job.” He turns and grins at Theo who has gone bright red. It’s adorable.

 

“I knew that Liam. Well I mean I didn’t know it was Corey but—”

 

“Yeah, it’s Corey, and he has a few too as you can see.” A few is an understatement, Corey possibly has more than Liam and they’re on full display today in the vest he’s wearing. “He’s a student, so I let him practice on me. See this arm,” Liam shows him the colorful sleeve, “this is Corey’s sketchbook.”

 

Corey grins, not looking away from his client, “You’re saying that as if I paint on you against your will.”

 

“He does. I hate it.” Liam whispers teasingly. Theo laughs and goes to greet Corey. He’s busy with a delicate watercolor flower on a girl’s ankle. She can’t keep her eyes off Theo. Liam’s not supposed to feel any kind of way about it, but he hates it. Stupidly.

 

“Hi.” She says all coy and smiling, eyes still glued hungrily to Theo.

 

“Uh. Hey.”

 

To Liam’s relief Theo fumbles and turns away and looks at the drawings on the wall with intense admiration.

 

“Anyway!” Liam says, probably too loud. “Thought we could finish the skull today? If you have time?”

 

“Of course!” Ten more minutes.”

 

He spends those ten minutes trying to convince Theo to get a tattoo, just a small one, and Theo tells him he’s insane.

 

When he finally gets in the chair, his blood is buzzing with the same excitement he gets from starting a fight and getting punched right in the nose.

 

“Doesn’t it hurt??” Theo wants to know.

 

Liam grits his teeth when Corey starts shading the skull outline on his bicep a light blue-green, “Of course it hurts.”

 

“Then why??”

 

Corey says, “You know that feeling you get when you burn that Audi down a freeway?”

 

Theo nods.

 

“Same thing. We just can’t afford sports cars.”

  

Corey finishes an hour later and Liam sweats and curses all the way home, Theo giggling beside him. They stop to pick up a few beers on the way and are now sitting side by side on the fire escape of Liam’s apartment.

 

The sun is setting out ahead, throwing long lazy shadows all over, the sharp yellow rays hitting them right in the face.

 

“Jesus Christ it burns.” Liam says of the tattoo.

 

Theo hands him another beer and Liam lights up a smoke, taking a long deep drag in. Along with the smell of cigarettes, he inhales Theo’s cologne and holds his breath a few seconds longer.

 

Theo turns to roll up Liam’s sleeve a little more, so the cling film stays put and his shirt doesn’t get in the way. While doing so his fingers touch Liam’s skin, soft and warm, and he remembers the night Theo cleaned up his bloody face right in this very spot. He thinks, if he had just kissed him like he wanted to maybe even fucked him that night, things could have been a lot different now.

 

But now, now they’ve gone past the point of something happening. They’re friends, that’s what they said. And Liam won’t do anything to ruin that. He likes Theo too much.

 

“Thanks.” He says and tips his head back against the wall, taking a gulp of beer then a drag of his smoke. “Why’re your hands so soft, huh? That a rich boy thing or what?”

 

Theo chuckles, “Well, my mom got me this dead sea mineral scrub… kind of nice to use. I get calluses from gym, it keeps them smooth.”

 

Liam opens one eye and peeps at Theo with a frown, “Dead Sea… okay. Feel mine.” He says and sticks his hand out.

 

“They’re fine.” Theo says circling his thumb in Liam’s palm. “Hey, uh, did you know that kid today?” he asks cautiously, still holding Liam’s hand in his own.

 

“In a way.” Liam puffs out smoke as he replies, voice cracking. Theo stays quiet beside him. He’s waiting for the ‘you don’t have to tell me’ but it doesn’t come. He’s not entirely displeased about it either. Theo wants to know him, he wants to understand Liam.

 

“I’m an orphan. He is too.”  When Theo still doesn’t speak or move or release Liam’s hand, he carries on. “The tattoo on my wrist… we all have one. Everyone from the orphanage does. That’s how I knew.”

 

“What happened?” Theo finally asks, his voice very soft and very faint. “To your parents I mean.”

 

Liam takes another drag and sighs, “Don’t know my dad. Never did. Mom’s a crack whore who left me at the neighbors when I was six and never came back. No clue where she is.”

 

“Would you ever look for her?”

 

“Tried that.” He says. “Only ever found dead ends. Guess when you don’t want to be found you won’t be.”

 

Theo looks back to the sinking sun. “I’m sorry,” he whispers and wraps both his hands around Liam’s, pulling it to his chest, right where his heart beats and keeps it there.

 

Liam tosses the smoke and leans down a little until his temple rests on Theo’s shoulder and there he settles. They watch the sun go down without another word, and, if he keeps really still he can hear Theo breathe.

  

It sounds like nothing ever has before. Hopeful.

 

 


	7. Nugget!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some pretty graphic descriptions later on in the chapter, relating to a fist fight. Please read with care if you are easily upset by such things.

“Eh? A what??” Gino has a particular incredulous expression on his face that he only ever uses when someone suggests he spend any of his money on something other than cars and motorcycles. Much like Liam is doing now.

 

Liam counters with a defiant look of his own, “A charity event.”

 

“In my shop?? With my money??”

 

“That’s what charity is Gino!”

 

Gino busies himself with the books, going over Liam’s calculations from the night before with a scrutinizing finger, peering up at Liam over the rim of his glasses now and again.

 

“For the orphan babies?” he asks again, this time a little more accommodating and interested than the last seven times in the past hour than Liam spent convincing him.

 

He got this idea the night after meeting Devon. The sunken eyes and dirty hands wouldn’t leave his mind. Along with that, the wondrous feeling of helping someone who was truly and so desperately in need of it has stuck with him. A constant itching under his skin to do more, to be more for those who have nothing. He wants to make Jimmy proud of him, wherever he is now, he wants him to know that he’s trying, and had Jimmy been here still, he could have helped him too. Jimmy could have been more too.

 

So, at three in the morning, much to Mason’s dismay and despite his begrudged sleep deprived protests, they hashed out an entire plan.

 

“Yeah. Well, most are older than babies.” he says to Gino, “But for less fortunate kids. And we don’t have to do it in the shop, we can use the terrace outside.”

 

Gino peeps over the thin-rimmed glasses to the outside of the shop where people skittle about their daily activities in the mid-morning sun, then looks back at Liam. “How much?”

 

Liam perks up, smiling, “I’ll work it all out. I’ll get you figures and quotes and all the details! Is that a yes??”

 

Putting his glasses down on the books, Gino lets out a sigh of hesitance and rubs his eyes.

 

“Come on G! It’ll be good for business, I promise! And you’ll be making a lot of kids very happy!”

 

“Okay, okay!!” Gino waves him off, “Just bring me the numbers.”

 

Liam squawks undignified, “Yesss!! I will, I will!”

 

“Get back to work!!”

 

But Liam’s already up and out the front door for a celebratory smoke, the smile on his face kind of sticks there and he feels stupid for smiling all by himself but this could be a really, really good thing and if he plays his cards right, it could become a yearly event if it’s successful. Off all people, he knows how much something like this could mean to those in need.

 

Standing against the brick wall, he lights a cigarette, puffs out a thick cloud of white and pulls his phone out, scrolling through contacts until he finds the one he’s looking for. He hasn’t dialed the number in a while, but it’s one of those relationships that overcomes time and distance and he always finds it exactly the way he left it. The roots go too deep and are too established and precious for it to ever wither.

 

Without hesitation he dials it and listens to the ringback, a childlike excitement bubbling within. And then, a delicate soothing voice picks up. Firm yet gentle. One that reminds him of kisses to scraped knees, dinosaur bandaids, and delicious red lollipops that no one else ever knew about. The closest thing to a mom he’s ever known.

 

_ “Geyer Home, good day?” _

 

“Jenna...”

 

_ “Nugget!!” _

* * *

 

When he gets home later, Mason and Corey are already there sprawled out on the couch in such a tangle it seems they may never get up again.

 

“Yo. How was work?” Mason asks, cheeks full of Cheetos, eyes glued to the movie they’re watching.

 

Liam tosses his wallet and keys down on the counter and heads to the fridge,  “Really good actually. Gino said yes--Beer?”

 

“Thanks—Yeah well, he better have said yes, you kept me up all night.” he mumbles and shifts a little for Liam to squeeze in beside them. Corey groans, squashed in the corner.

 

Liam hands them each a bottle, “It was only three hours Mase, you fall asleep like a grandpa at nine, anyway.”

 

“Wait,” says Corey, “What did Gino say yes to?”

 

“Oh, they’re hosting a charity event for the orphanage. The one you lived at right?”

 

Liam nods, “Uh huh. Called Jenna today, she’s on board. Really happy about the whole thing.”

 

Corey smiles at him, “That’s a great thing to do, bro. Can we help?”

 

“Oh we are.” Mason sighs, “You’re designing all the pamphlets and I’m helping out at the store that day.”

 

Corey beams like the ray of sunshine he is, “Sweet!”

 

“We should go out. Celebrate!” Liam suggests, thinking there’s no use in letting a good mood go to waste. “Come on. I’ll buy the first round.” he looks expectantly at them while they share a look.

 

“Nah man, we were just gonna chill. Corey’s making nachos.”

 

A little dejected Liam gets up, taking a gulp of beer, “That’s fine. You cool if I go?”

 

“By yourself?” Mason asks and Liam can almost feel the tightness rise in his body. He very well knows what happens when Liam’s left to his own devices. And if he’s honest with himself, it’s for that very reason he doesn’t want to be alone.

 

He shakes his head, finishing off the beer, buzzing a little, “Nah, I’ll call Theo.”  

 

The both of them make horrible, delightful sounds and as much as he tries not to, he smiles. “Stop that okay!” Placing the bottle down where Mason hates it, he reminds Mason as well as himself, “Just friends. No funny stuff.”

 

“Suuuure. Sure sure.” Mason turns to Corey, “I can literally not wait for the day we sing the “I told you so song” in his face.”

 

Corey shakes his head slowly, gets this deep victorious look in his eyes, “It’s gonna be glorious.” and they both stare off into the distance, thoughtful and utterly full of shit in his opinion.

 

“Jesus.” he mutters (still smiling at the thought because he’s an idiot) and leaves to get ready.

 

Liam strips off and before getting into the shower shoots a text off to Theo.

 

**_To Theo:_ **

_ Going out. Wanna come? _

 

It stays on unseen, and after staring at Theo’s new profile icon of himself and a slice of pizza for way too long (he totally did _ not _ zoom in), he heads for the shower and scrubs up. 

 

Once he’s back, he digs around in his closet, finds a pair of torn black jeans—it’s always the black jeans—and a black button-up.

 

He’s just ruffled up his hair and is carefully drawing faint black lines under his eyes when Mason comes in, bare-chested.

 

“Ooh, nice!” he says and playfully bumps Liam out of the way to dig around in his drawer.

 

“What? Change your mind, you coming?”

 

“Nah man,” he winks and looks like something awful is about to come out of his mouth, then holds up Liam’s bottle of lube, “We’re out.”

 

“Ah god. Gross. Get outa here!”

 

“Well I mean I’m about to get  _ in _ , but…”

 

“Mason!!” Mason darts out of his room cackling just as a pillow hits him in the back. “How do you even know where I keep the lube you animal!!??”

  
  


On his way out the door, while doing his best to ignore the sounds coming from Corey and Mason’s room, his phone buzzes with a text from Theo.

 

**_From Theo:_ **

_ Studying :( next time? _

 

Admittedly his heart falls a little, of its own accord, and types back a quick  _ ‘no problem, def next time.’ _

 

Not that he’ll admit it out loud but he’s terribly disappointed, not in them—Mason or Theo—well not in a direct sense, anyway. He hasn’t felt anything good in a really long time. Not counting Theo, not counting the light, the weightlessness of his heart when they spend time together. Not counting any of that. But the point is that he wanted to celebrate a small win today with the people he cares for most.

 

The other totally unambiguous, and highlighted point, is just how different they all are. How different they all are from him, in particular.

 

Corey and Mason have each other, committed and secure. Years and years of foundation. No matter how their day turns out, they will have one another to fall back on. Theo has, well, just about everything. He’s studying, there is money and a nice place, a car. And a family… does he have a family? It occurs to him then that he’s never asked about Theo’s family, or where they stay; if he has siblings. But, he decides, Theo must have a really nice family. Liam thinks his mom is probably modern and classic and sharp. His dad, Liam thinks, is friendly and makes lame jokes. If Theo has siblings, Liam reckons he has sisters, must be sisters.

 

He makes a mental note to ask sometime. Friends know things about each other.

 

Liam carries on walking, heading uptown- figures since he’s already dressed up he might as well make the most of it. No point in wasting good eyeliner. God, he thinks, Jimmy would have had a field day if he was around to see Liam wearing eyeliner.

 

He follows the spirally hill to the bars on Main, surprised for a moment that his feet led him this way instead of the pubs in their area downtown. And, when he looks up at the hill adorned in luxurious houses—with tennis courts and infinity pools and glass framed balconies—he realizes why.

 

And he scoffs at himself because really? Inadvertently he walked himself as close as he could to the nearest comfort point. With Theo’s house just up the hill, there will be that knowledge that he’s not entirely alone and left to himself tonight. Just like when Mason is at Corey’s place across the road, he’s there in the lesser sense of the word, but close enough for Liam not to feel swallowed by solitude.

 

Another note he makes is to one day dispel this fear of being alone, perhaps get some proper treatment for it when he can afford that kind of thing. Although he knows it has plenty to do with Katherine Dunbar. But, before he can get himself tangled in those thoughts, he gives a small nod to the expensive houses on the hill and a boy studying alone in his room. Probably on his bed in cozy pajamas, Liam bets his hair is messy too, and he chews at the end of his pencil, and maybe sometimes he yawns and stretches out like a lazy cat on a hot day… and what the hell is wrong with him??

 

He slips inside the club, grins about the daggers a few preppy douches shoot his way because, beside them, their girlfriends are also looking but with something entirely different in their eyes. He specifically eyes a pixie-cut blonde and makes sure she knows and then lends his gaze to the tall, shy looking guy in the corner.

 

They both watch him pass and make his way to the bar; if he’s lucky and the bisexual gods are in his favour this could turn into one hell of a night. 

 

There is a stupid part of him, at the thought of Theo—and that’s pretty much every thought—that feels guilty for even looking at other people. He’s got no ties to the guy, and yes he’s hot beyond compare but they’re not… they can’t, It’ll never be that and he can’t  _ no _ t have sex for the rest of his days, so he tries to push that part as far down as it will go.

 

So far down that when the blonde saunters up to him and slides into the chair on his left, he actually manages a proper grin that she returns warmly. She’s pretty, delicate, with big brown eyes and the same expensive smell that Theo also carries around.

 

And so, small talk turns to flirting, and flirting turns to shots. At some point, he thinks he should have eaten since all the booze has now finally caught up with him. He’s floaty and a little dizzy and so is the girl. She convinces him to dance, close, with their hands all over each other.  

 

It feels so good to just touch someone again, to be close to the kind of warmth only another body can provide, to just lose himself in the thump of the music through his body. So good that he doesn’t notice the angry chatter of the guys in the corner, or the beefy one that comes up to them to yank the girl away.

 

In hindsight he should have asked if she was with someone, but then Muscle Brain shoved him and all reason was lost.

  
  


His mouth tastes like blood now, and he’s hunched over in a back alley and his mind won’t work right, it’s so fuzzy and everything hurts but he’s stupid, and a blatant fool for punishment so he gets back up and wipes a bloody streak from his nose.

 

His knuckles ache too which means he must have gotten at least a punch in.

 

Swaying on his feet, he says, “Pussy.” and thinks when the guy comes close again he’ll deck him, this time he’s ready.

 

He’s definitely not, he realizes, as another fist cracks to the underside of his jaw sending excruciating electric pulses through his head. What he does this time is stay down, and not from lack of willingness to fight, but from the pure pain. Flat on his back, his body twitches as he tries to cough up the blood pooling his mouth. He only barely manages that, all he wants to do is shut his eyes and go to sleep now.

 

Muscle Brain must think he’s dying because he’s stammering “oh shit oh shit oh shit.”  and his friend rambles off various renditions of “fuck!” and then they do the only thing they can, and run.

 

He lies there alone, and he starts laughing, feeling his lip tear open. He’s laughing because this is familiar, this is what he knows how to do. Not relationships like Mason, or school like Theo, this is where he belongs he thinks. Absolute garbage is what he’s good for.

 

Somewhere between the pain and self-pity and drunkenness, he knows he needs to get up and get help. His arms shake when he pushes himself up, manages all the way to his feet before he needs to steady himself on the wall.

 

Just like before his feet lead the way to the only place he really wants to be right now, and he goes further up the hill even though the strain on his legs is daunting and he has to stop every couple of meters to rest. He pukes a few times too, be it from pain or from being too drunk, and it marginally sobers him up.

 

Finally, he stumbles through the small, familiar garden gate, relieved to see the lights are still on inside. He regrets this already, sober Liam the next morning will hate him for this. But right now he doesn’t care and raps a weak fist on the sliding door, his head resting against the frame.

 

* * *

 

There is a dull thud against the glass door that makes Theo jump. A few birds have done that before, but it’s night time now so the sound is totally out of place. He gets up and grabs the aluminum bat from the corner before pulling the curtains to the side.

 

It’s not a bird. Definitely not a bird.

 

“Liam??!!” The bat falls with a clang that echoes in the quiet apartment and his hands won’t move fast enough to wrangle the door open, “Jesus Liam.”

 

“I… m’sorry… I jus--”

 

As if his legs have reached their quota of walking for the day, Liam slumps forward in an attempt to step inside. Theo catches him just in time and pulls him inside. “Jesus Liam! Hey, I got you, I got you. What--”

 

Liam keeps muttering sorry sorry sorry as blood drips from his nose and face onto the crisp white floor tiles and aside from bleeding more than what Theo’s ever seen, Liam is shaking uncontrollably. His body’s going into shock, Theo thinks, his skin is freezing, and he’s making faint, hurt sounds at every movement.

 

This is so very bad.

 

While sitting Liam down at the counter and grabbing a bunch of paper towels, he says,  “I think I need to call an ambulance Liam, this is--”

 

Liam shakes his head as best he can, but still with enough vigor that Theo sees it is clearly not an option, “No no, no hospitals. No insurance.”

 

“Liam, it’s bad, I don’t know what to do??”

 

“No. Shh ‘mm fine. Been worse.”

 

He laughs a little but figures if the guy can speak and rationalize, he probably looks worse than he actually is, “You’re not, fine. Jesus Christ—Okay. Come on, I’m gonna pick you up.”

 

Theo hooks an arm under Liam’s knees and one around his back and hauls him up, heading for the stairs. Liam lifts his head a little to look at him, the weirdest look like he’s seeing him for the first time now. Theo's throat constricts uncomfortably.

 

His head falls down again, resting heavy on Theo’s shoulder. “Don’t sleep, Li. Need to get you cleaned up and into dry clothes.”

 

“Did I pee myself?!” Liam squawks, voice cracky.

 

This time Theo really laughs, “No! What even?! You’ve bled all over these ones.”

 

“Oh. Well, that’s okay.”

 

Theo smiles, making the last few steps. “Yeah? Blood’s fine but pee is definitely not okay. That’s just the way it is, huh?”

 

Liam doesn’t say anything, just clings to him tight.

 

Once upstairs, Theo places Liam down on his mattress and lets him sit on the edge while he gets a warm washcloth and some tissues, bandaids, pretty much whatever he can get hold of.

 

“Right.” He says standing in front of Liam whose eyes are closed, “Remember the last time we did this? I’m gonna clean it up, okay? I won’t hurt you.”

 

Liam gives him a tired smile, “I know.”

 

He begins slowly wiping off the blood, dabbing the cloth over his lips, his cheeks and nose until he sees only clear skin. Then he cleans the cut on his jaw with some saline solution, apologizing for the sting. There’s a blue bruise spreading under the surface below his cheekbone and his one eye is pretty puffy. Liam blinks up at him then, and his mouth goes dry.

 

He remembers the night they met, just like this, and he remembers thinking this was the most beautiful face he’d ever seen, he remembers how he mapped every inch of Liam in case he never got to see him again. How much he wanted to kiss him that night. He still does.

 

Those blue eyes are still impossibly gorgeous, even when bloodshot and smudged with eyeliner, the lights in the room making his lashes glow gold and it causes his heart to swell impossibly in his chest, “You okay?”

 

Liam nods slowly, and he too seems to be studying Theo’s face. Without thinking, his thumb rubs over Liam’s bruised bottom lip, and he swallows thick, reminding himself of the task at hand. His thoughts should really not wander right now.

 

“Almost done.” he whispers and starts undoing the buttons of Liam’s shirt, sliding it off slowly to reveal all his colorful and intricate tattoos and the sharp lines of his body that he tries super hard not to stare at. He hands Liam a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt with long sleeves since he’s still shivering. “Can you, uh… your pants.”

 

“Oh…right.”

 

He turns around and waits for Liam to change, a small thrill cascading through him at the thought of Liam in his clothes.

 

“Thank you.” says Liam still pulling the shirt on when Theo turns around. His eyes briefly swoop down to the trail of black hair that leads down into the sweats.

 

“Uhm, I’ve still got studying to do, you wanna sit with me?” he asks, helping Liam get on the bed.

 

“Yeah. I won't bother?”

 

“Not at all. Come on.” 

 

So he sits down against the headboard and Liam huddles up to the pillows beside him, tucking his bare feet under the duvet. He looks like he may fall asleep sat up so Theo pulls him down a little but Liam shifts down completely and plants his head on Theo’s lap. He lets out a soft groan and wraps his arms around Theo’s thigh, and there he stays.

 

His breathing becomes shallow and slow and his hands twitch softly as he drifts off. Theo brings his hand up and cards it through the soft, fiery red strands of Liam’s hair, drawing circles on his scalp. He takes a few selfish moments to enjoy the weight of Liam on him, his breathing, his soft skin. He wishes he could just have this all the time, come home and find Liam there, kiss him hello, cook him dinner. But he knows Liam is not ready for that, possibly doesn’t want it either.

 

Opening his textbooks where he left off, he settles in and studies well into the early hours of the morning with Liam curled up in his lap until he too, falls asleep.

 

He dreams of pretty blue eyes and tattoos and bright red hair, a megawatt smile that makes his stomach tingle like he does so many nights

 

He’ll dream until he can have it all to himself one day.


	8. A wild man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's from Theo's POV :)

 

An hour and twenty-two minutes. That’s how long Theo’s been sitting as still as a painted ship. Liam is still asleep. In his bed. On his leg. His leg is asleep too, tiny pin pricks bothering the soles of his feet.

  


As much as he doesn’t want this to be awkward, it is. Not because they’ve slept in the same bed, not because he woke up with his hand tucked into the neck of Liam’s shirt, or because Liam is wrapped around his leg like a squid.

  


It’s awkward because he’s really hard. But he’ll be damned if he wakes this sleeping wonder of parted, bruised lips, and long, dark lashes laying half-moons under tired eyes.

And that’s the problem right there. He’s trying to get rid of his boner, but he can’t stop looking at Liam’s face which even in a pretty fucked up blue-purple state is doing things to him that he’d rather not say out loud. Worse: Liam’s face is resting right beside it; if he opens his eyes the first thing he’ll see is an erection. Theo’s woken up to worse when he first came out and had a bunch to prove, but he’s not sure Liam will share the sentiment.

  


He _has_ to move, he’s not above coming untouched, and _that_ would be the kind of thing to immigrate and assume a new identity over.

  


Slowly, he untangles Liam’s hands from the back of his thigh, cradles his head while he slips out of bed and takes care to lower him back down onto the mattress. He stands there for a couple of seconds, simply admiring.

  


He tries hard not to do that when they’re hanging out, as difficult as that is, he tries not to stare too long, or notice at all how Liam’s nose slopes and how his one eyebrow is a little quirky and how his jaw knots in the hollow spot when he swallows, how the blue flowers in his neck furl over and around a thick vein.

  


There are so many times he aches to tell Liam how beautiful he is, sometimes he wants to grab him into a hug, other times he really wants to mush their mouths together and kiss him, breathe him in and hold him there between his arms.

  


He’ll act like a clown if it’ll make Liam laugh simply because it’s so captivating to watch. He wants to give and give and buy him things, God he’ll buy him anything he wants if Liam will let him. He knows he can’t buy Liam’s love, and he doesn’t want to, he wants most of all for Liam to be happy; he wants his eyes to shine the way they did when he helped that kid or got a tattoo or walked out of Kira’s salon with a new haircut. And those things money can’t buy, so all Theo has is himself to make Liam smile.

  


Liam twitches, frowns and rolls over. Theo has never sprinted so fast into his own bathroom before.

  


_Go away go away._ He has also never willed his boner into submission but seems there is a first time for everything.

  


_“Theo?”_

__  
  


_Shit._ “Uh. Be right there! Two minutes.” _Well that’s even worse, what is he going to think you’re doing in here?? Jesus. This is insane. Okay, imagine girls and boobs and old people fucking. Straight sex. Dick piercings. Except… what if Liam has one… he’s got other piercings, so maybe…_ “NO!”

  


_“What?”_

__  
  


“Not you! Not you!” Oh fuck it, he thinks and pulls his sweatpants’ waistband over his dick so it’s less obvious at least, and decides to brave it.

  


Liam’s sitting in a sad looking heap in the middle of his bed when he emerges again, and shit, he looks rough. Hair sticking up in all directions, hands shoved in his lap and bleary eyes blinking up at Theo. His face bruised and battered in the light of day.

  


“I am so sorry man, I’m so so sorry.” he starts immediately and with a quiet, cracking voice.

  


Theo goes to sit down beside him, “Hey, don’t even worry about it. Nothing to be sorry for. How’re you feeling?” There’s nothing Liam would ever have to apologize for, especially not coming to him when he needed help. That part sits tightly in a special spot inside his heart. He knew the moment he saw Liam’s bloody eyes blink open in his lap that very first night, that he’d always help this boy no matter what happened.

  


Liam rubs over his face and flinches, “Like boiled shit.”

  


Barely audible, Theo asks, “What happened?”

  


Liam shakes his head and even that looks painful. He pulls the sleeves of Theo’s shirt over his hands and hunches in on himself. He looks so young like this, so helpless, it makes Theo’s heart swell unbearably. “Was just dancing man… she didn’t say she was with someone. ‘Someone’ turned out to be a brick-shithouse, and I was drunk.”

  


Theo hopes the sting of that doesn’t show on his face, that Liam was with someone else, he probably does that a lot—Jesus look at him—but knowing it now, hearing it from his own mouth… he doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like how sick it makes him feel. And that’s plain unfair. Liam deserves to be happy, he’s can do whatever he wants. So, he tries not to be entirely selfish.

 

“I should have gone with you…” he says, thinking hindsight is a bitch.

 

Liam musters half a smile, “They’d have beat you up too, better you didn’t.”

“I can find him if you wanna, we can--”

  


“What? Press charges?” Liam cuts in sharply, “His daddy will just bail him out and make it go away.”

  


Theo sucks in a deep breath, “Fair. Hey, you hungry?”

  


And finally, Liam smiles properly, the smile that Theo adores- the one that makes his eyes narrow and his nose crinkle up a little.  “Fuck yeah. You cooking?”

  


Theo takes in the bruises and split on his lip where blood has dried, “First I’m getting some painkillers and anti-inflammatory pills into you and you need to call in sick for work or something, then I’ll carry you downstairs to eat.”

  


Looking visibly horrified, Liam laughs, “You do _not_ need to carry me again.”

  


Theo’s face heats up, “You remember that huh?” He does, he remembers Liam’s small frame in his arms and the heat of their bodies close together, that look he gave him. He remembers being worried about how bad he looked and the relief when they learned it wasn’t so bad when Liam smiled at him all bleary and sleepy. Which brings him to the fact that they kind of cuddled the whole night, he’d want to know if he sleep-cuddled someone, it’s only fair that he tells Liam.

  


“Uhm, Liam, you… we. Well. We uh…”

  


“Your leg is like the squishiest pillow _ever_.” Liam interrupts and winks at him. So he knows then, which means he must have woken up at some point, aware of the cuddling, and decided that it’s a perfectly comfortable place to be, and went back to sleep. He’s not sure what to make of that so he lets it be.

  


Dumbly, and because he forgets how to human in this boy’s presence, he says, “Yeah, well, I never skip leg day!”

  


Liam snorts adorably and shakes his phone out of the pants from the night before, “Okay thunder thighs, pump some breakfast into me.” He says and holds his hand out for Theo to pull him up.

  


It’s a short battle down the stairs, surprisingly much harder than going up. He walks slowly beside Liam, patiently cradling his elbow for support. Liam doesn’t grunt or moan or say anything except thank you when they finally reach the kitchen.

  


Theo digs around in his sports bag and slides two tablets to Liam, “One for pain, one for inflammation.” He explains.

  


“What’s inflamed?” Liam asks wearily, grimacing.

  


“Uhm. Everything dude.” His eye, his lip, his cheek is a pretty blue. And still… he’s lovely. “Eye looks pretty bad, and you got your mouth busted.”

  


“Shit.” Liam collects the pills and swallows it down with a glass of water, he brings one tattooed hand up to his face and feels around the cut on his lip, “Fuck. Mason’s gonna _kill_ me.”

  


“How about you call him, and I get food started, huh? You eat eggs?”

  


Liam unlocks his phone and looks dreadful at having to make the call, “I do, yeah.”

  


He watches Liam walk out to the patio with small mishap steps, no doubt hurting in a few places. Without the layer of blood on his face, he looks a little better, still rough, but not as panic-inducing as he did the night before.

  


From outside he can hear Liam’s muffled voice while he heats up a plate and gets a pan ready.

  


_“I know… I’m sorry…. It wasn’t… What was I supposed to do??... Mason, Mason!... I. Am. Sorry!!”_

__  
  


None of that is his business at all, but he hates that Liam is in trouble for something that’s not his fault. He knows Liam relies a whole deal on Mason, he can tell they share a deep, deep bond and he wonders just how many times Mason has had to watch Liam come home beat up and bloody and felt helpless about it. How many nights, like last night, he didn’t come home at all and how Mason must have worried. And while he doesn’t want to fault Liam in the least, he realizes that’s not fair.

  


_“—can’t go in, not like this…. Pretty bad, my lip—…. I’m sorry… He’s fine… Thank you, I owe you—”_

__  
  


He wonders how many days of Liam’s childhood was spent just like this? If he ever had anyone to help him back then, maybe that’s who Jimmy is? Maybe Jimmy is like Mason. He remembers how Liam tensed up when he asked about Jimmy that one time, there was something terribly hurt in his eyes, something he really didn’t want to share.

  


When Liam comes back in he sighs and flops down in the stool again.

  


“How mad is he?” Theo asks, breaking a few eggs into a pan of simmering butter.

  


“Oh,” Liam says, he looks a bit annoyed, “He’s fucking fuming. I mean, it’s just ‘coz he cares. I’m not the best person—”

  


“You’re fine Liam. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

  


Liam gives him a little smile, one that thanks him for being kind but also doesn’t quite believe him, “When you keep promising something won’t happen again, and it does, it kinda makes you a bad person.”

  


He stirs up the eggs and adds some peppers and ham and salt, “Maybe it’s just the places you go, huh? Maybe clubs and bars are bad for you. Maybe,” he grins, “it wouldn’t hurt you to hang out with me more often.” His dumb cheeks heat up at that.

  


“And do what?” Liam asks, amused, now playful and awake and grinning with one corner of his mouth, “Play golf? Have jollies on the east terrace like good sirs?”

  


Theo points the spoon at him and spill some egg crumbs in the process, can’t help the laugh that forms on his lips, “You’re an asshole, Red.”

  


“You love it.” Liam says and flicks the morsel of egg back at him, then looks stunned at his own words, like he really didn’t mean to throw such a loaded word in there—Theo’s sure he didn’t—and so he turns away quickly to dish up the food trying not to fuel the moment any further.

  


_I think, maybe, I really do..._ goes unsaid while he slides Liam’s plate over to him and tops up a mug with fresh, steamy coffee.

  


For the first time since he’s met Liam he watches him gobble down the entire plate of food and a mug of coffee. He’s always only picking at stuff or sharing with someone, never properly eating, and it’s really comforting to see him enjoy something. Makes Theo happy in a true and real way.

  


They eat silently, comfortably. Liam passes the salt, Theo fills their mugs up and the sun beams in through the large glass door bathing the room a soft yellow. Liam looks serene in this light, bright red, messy hair and piercings glittering as a ray catches it. Inexplicably gorgeous, rough and worked over, yet something about it stirs Theo up inside. Something about the imperfection of him against the spotless backdrop that is Theo’s apartment. Like blood on snow, red wine on a wedding gown. Tragic but oh so, so captivating.

  


“Hey.” Liam says after a long while of only listening to morning sounds around them, “Tell me about your family.”

  


It doesn’t strike Theo as something that randomly pops into someone’s mind and he smiles thinking Liam has probably planned on asking him that, paid mind to the thought. Wants to know him. His tummy does a quick flutter, heat bubbling to the surface of his skin.

  


“Well. Uhm they live up in Aspen.”

  


Liam folds his hands under his chin, and winks, “Of course they do.”

  


“My mom’s president of RaeTech Industries, they develop uh—”

  


He says taking the last bite, carrying his plate to the sink, “Corporate A.I. I’ve seen the name around. Pretty amazing!”

  


“Yeah, I mean she works really hard. Dude, she’s so smart.” Theo’s shoulder grazes Liam’s as they pass each other by the sink.

  


“And your dad?”

  


“Helps out with mom’s business—he’s really good at planning—she leaves him to do all the marketing and stuff. Whatever he can, you know.”

  


Liam smiles, hands him their cups, and leans his hip on the edge of the counter beside Theo. “Sweet! You an only child?”

  


“Oh, no. No, I got a sister, Tara. She’s four years older. And a younger brother Troy. And he’s uh…” he laughs because there’s no real word for his brother, “He’s unique.”

  


“Yeah? Troy still in school?” Liam asks and starts to dry off the dishes he stacks in the rack.

  


“Nope. He’s uh, taking a break year right now to figure things out.”

  


Absently, while putting the plates away, Liam chirps, “I’ve been taking a break year since I was seventeen.”

  


“Liam.”

  


He laughs at the frown Theo gives him, “What?! It’s true.”

  


Theo shakes his head, “They’re nice. I miss all of us being together sometimes.” The moment the words leave his mouth he feels bad, like a total asshole. How can he say things like that when Liam literally doesn’t have a family to miss? “I’m sorry—”

  


“No.” Liam says and stacks the last cup neatly in the cupboard before he turns to face him, “Don’t do that. Don’t watch what you say around me now that you know. So what, I don’t have what you have. You’ve never treated me any differently, don’t start now.” He smiles tightly, “I like to hear about it, okay? I _want_ to hear about it.”

  


“Yeah. Yeah of course.” He says and looks away. He dries off the sink and hangs the towel back up, “We all go visit my parents for the holidays, it’s really beautiful out there that time of year. It snows, and it’s piss cold, but it’s family you know. It’s nice.”

  


“It is.” Liam smiles, “I’ve never seen snow, always wanted to make those snowmen with the carrot noses you know?”

  


“Those are the best! This one Christmas Troy snuck out at four in the morning and built snowmen across the entire front lawn, made them look like zombies. Mom had seven heart attacks. He’s an asshole like that.”

  


That makes Liam laugh which in turn has Theo staring, foolishly, and he thinks that will never fail to amaze him. Liam catches him in the moment and joins him there, for a few seconds they lock eyes and stay just like that until Liam clears his throat and glances out the window.

  


“His first tattoo was Patrick from Spongebob flipping a bird.” He says to deflect, to break away from what he really wants to do.

  


Liam’s looking at him again when he tilts his head back up, and gives him a grin, “I think I’ll like Troy a whole lot.”

  


Since Liam isn’t going into work, they have the whole day to hang around. Liam suggests X-Box, Dead Island, in honor of Troy’s zombie snowmen. Only, Liam is the worst partner, a wild man. He’s literally the worst and if Theo didn’t adore him so much, he’d hate him.

  


“I swear if you get us murdered again Liam—Liam no!”

  


“Shut up, watch this!” Liam sits on the edge of the sofa, tongue poking from the corner of his mouth as he navigates his avatar toward a herd of zombies, throws a grenade right into the middle of them and sprints away.

  


“Oh my god… I’m gonna kill you!” Theo shouts and starts chasing Liam, he empties about all his ammo into the running avatar’s back and watches Liam’s green life line turn red.

Indignant, he gapes at Theo, “You killed me!! We were... you can’t kill me!!”

 

“Yeah, I can! No more playing for you—”

  


Without thinking he lunges for the controller, but Liam jerks it out of reach and Theo ends up toppling them both over and oh god, oh god!!

  


Liam’s flat on his back on the couch and Theo’s hovering above him, his knee between Liam’s thighs, eyes wide when he dares to look down at Liam—who is still holding the controller out of reach above his head—and his eyes are fixed on Theo like he’s waiting for his next move. But his face is carefully blank, and Theo can’t make out what the hell is going through his mind.

  


Close. So impossibly close. He could simply lean down and…

  


But he won’t, he’s a coward, about _this_ he’s a fucking coward. Liam is not a hasty kiss on a couch at 10 am, he’s not as easy as this, he’s something you work your ass off for. He’s something Theo with all his family’s money can’t buy. Besides, he _wants_ to earn it, wants to make it one hundred percent worth it so that Liam won’t be able to turn him away when he finally musters up the courage. No doubts, no buts.

  


So, he shifts up to reach for the controller, but Liam moves it further out of reach with something fierce and serious in his eyes, a small flame flickering behind the blue, his face still impassive, and one hand fisted into the side of Theo’s shirt. Theo stays still, heart hammering in a way that makes him dizzy even on his knees.

  


He thinks probably he’s on fire. _Is he on fire?!_

 __  
  


Liam looks from his eyes down to his mouth and slowly back up, and when Theo swallows and opens his mouth to say something, Liam smirks slack-mouthed. And now his face is anything but blank, although Theo is still not able to name it. Surprise, amusement, arou... arousal?? No, come on. But Christ he’s pretty, he’s so goddamn pretty Theo wants to cry.

  


Finally, Liam brings the controller closer and holds it out for Theo to take and he does so with very shaky hands, all of his control bundled up in his shoulders.

  


“Thanks.” He breathes out and sits back up again, “Well then. You made that very hard.”

 

Liam snorts, pushing up, “You tackle all your friends like that?”

  


“My friends usually don’t suck so bad at killing zombies that I have reason to, Red.”

  


“My friends usually aren’t as good looking as you, but I manage to contain myself.” Liam drapes his arm over the back of the couch, looking as collected as ever, as if he didn’t just say that, as if Theo hasn’t just gone bright red. Liam does this sometimes, fucks with him and revels in his reaction.

  


Flustered stupid, and while stumbling away he mumbles back, “Yeah… well… Same.” and listens to Liam chuckle behind him.

  


Then he darts into the kitchen to collect himself, splashes cold water on his face, possibly down his pants, wherever the hell he needs it because, holy shit.

  


He smiles though, he smiles and he can’t shake it no matter what he does.

  


 

 


	9. Hero

So planning an event is hard. It’s gross and tiring and it’s even worse when you’re recovering from a beating and the remnants thereof still sits fresh on your face. He feels his lip throb all the time even if the swelling has gone down and his cheek and jaw are a funny purple-yellow shading now. ‘Zombie color’ as Mason puts it.

 

Mason is less mad than he was when Liam went home that night, even helped Liam apply ointment to some bruises, quietly listened to what happened, gruffly acknowledged that it wasn’t Liam’s fault entirely, and made him promise to be more careful.

 

Liam hates promises, what good could ever come of those? So all the did was swear to try. And that in itself isn’t a lie. He can try. He can try the hell out of it. But promising is not something he’s good at.

 

Something else he’s not good at, apparently, is planning.

 

He’s searching the web for t-shirt sponsors for the charity event, having a quiet smoke on the fire escape when his phone buzzes.

 

_Theo:_

_What even is this day man? Do you know what I’ve done today? I dropped all my books down a flight of stairs, spilled my shake in my lap so it looks like I... well you know. And then ran for class and lost a shoe in the process._

 

Liam barks out a laugh, grateful that he’s alone because that was super unattractive. He nips the smoke between his lips and types back.

 

_Liam:_

_The boat shoes?_

 

_Theo:_

_YES! My boat shoes!!! LiAm!_

 

  _Liam:_

_Did you go back for it or did you run like Cinderella?_

_Theo:_

_Why won’t you acknowledge my pain_

 

_Liam:_

_Maybe a handsome prince charming will find it and whisk you away to stay in his castle_

 

_Theo:_

_Liaaaaaaaaaaaaam!_

_Liam:_

_Bye princess!_

_Theo:_

_:) How’s your face feeling Red?_

 

Liam finds himself chuckling at his phone. Right now his stupid lip is aching again and his cheek hurts because he’s smiling and it’s bruised, but all over he’s in better shape than he was a few nights ago.

 

_Liam:_

_Bleh, it’s fine._

 

For some reason he sees it fit to also accompany that response with a selfie. He is innately photogenic and proud of it. It’s just one of those things. He doesn’t even try when he angles the phone and shoots the pic off to Theo. In it, the sun catches his jaw and his nasty looking battle wounds, smoke still in the corner of his mouth, posed against a beautiful brick face background. Very aesthetic, he thinks.

 

_Theo:_

_Jesus. Do you just look like that? That just happens or what?_

 

Liam laughs and can almost hear Theo’s indignant squawk, but he can also see him smiling. Liam smiles too. It’s a thing they do now, since that morning with the remote, they compliment each other now.

 

Liam sends four shrugging emojis and Theo replies with a little yellow face rolling its eyes and a gif of Julia Roberts strutting down Hollywood Boulevard in thigh-high boots, which he responds to with a laughing face.

 

Only a couple of minutes after that Liam receives another text from Theo, and he very nearly drops the phone and topples off the fire escape the way he laughs. 

 

It’s a horrible angle to start with, from below, and he is pulling a cross-eyed face that Liam doubts anyone would dare call unattractive ever, double chin bubbling and his mouth does something stupid. He captions it “I tried”

 

_Liam:_

_Try harder please._

 

_Theo:_

_Excuse me Mr I woke up this way._

 

_Liam:_

_I literally did._

 

_Theo:_

_Hate you. I gotta go. Chat later, prince charming._

 

His heart jumps and he wishes it didn’t, it’s probably that same feeling that has him sending the next text, no shame bared.

_Liam:_

_Wait! You’re leaving me with that monstrosity of a selfie?? To... to have nightmares??_

 

The line is quiet for a while and he starts thinking he’s fucked up somehow, he shouldn’t even be flirting with Theo at all. 

 

They’re friends. Friends can appreciate that the other person is attractive right? They can even go as far as saying that, but perhaps he’s just overstepped now. But it’s also not like he was asking for nudes, which… Jesus.

 

Just before he can type up an apology his phone vibrates, and a much better selfie pops up on his screen. This time Theo makes a kissing face into the camera and his eyes are squeezed shut, nose wrinkled. It is beyond cute and Liam’s heart pulses with heat in his chest.

 

He hits save without even thinking twice about it.

 

* * *

 

Liam’s nervous when all the planning finally comes together, and the day arrives for his charity event to take shape. He has spent every night since the idea came to him, making lists, bullying money out of Gino and ordering supplies and stock for the day.

 

 Now, he’s standing in the courtyard outside Gino’s Pizzeria watching it all fall into place. The stacks of boxes carrying t-shirts, paint supplies, and caps, a small white van full of sponsored drinks and snacks and people scurrying about to help unpack.

 

In the shop, Mason is alternating between taking orders and helping the guys in the back. They love Mason, quite used to his presence by now since he’s had to stand in for Liam each time he gets his face smashed in for being a tool.

 

He directs his attention elsewhere before those thoughts consume him and ruins this day the way they always do when he pays attention to where they’re rooted. Instead, and while he sorts the box of t-shirts, he watches Corey set up the tiny, long tables with a bunch of equally tiny chairs and little Ninja Turtle placemats and hats.

 

Kira catches him off guard when she gently squeezes his shoulder from behind, he is however very pleasantly surprised and happy to see her.

 

“Hi!” he yelps and wraps his arms around her and she does the same. He tuffs up the thick locks of hair that falls down Kira’s shoulder, now a gorgeous violet purple. He loves it, “This looks amazing!”

 

“Oh, thanks.” She says and blushes, “You still happy with the red?”

 

 He’s stupid because he thinks of the last time Theo called him that, “Yeah. Love it.” he says of either the hair or the nickname and looks away. “Thanks for coming, Kay. Appreciate it”

 

“Of course,” she smiles and pats the side of his face, “Oh, uhm,” she steps aside to reveal a skinny, dark-haired kid standing behind her, “I dragged my new shop assistant along, hope you don’t mind?”

 

Liam’s heart swells thick in his throat at the sight of the kid, he’s not even sure what his face is doing right then. “Devon,” he says, manages some manners and sticks his hand out to shake with him.

 

He looks so different, smiling, bright and clean. He only remembers Devon sitting on the streets, with that dull, defeated look in his eyes, taking a bagel and coffee from Liam with shaky, dirty hands. But now… now this kid, although still skinny, even looks like he’s put some meat on his bones.

 

Devon takes a step closer and Liam pulls him close to his chest, keeps him there, “Thanks, man.” He whispers into Liam’s ear.

 

Liam swallows, “How does it feel?” he whispers back, “Getting out?”

 

Devon’s hand squeezes Liam’s, “Like coming up for air after you’ve been drowning.” He replies, and it hits so deep, so true that Liam’s eyes go a little wet. Were it not for Gino and his mushy heart, Liam would have still been drowning too.

 

He pulls away and they share a smile that kind of says it all. All you needed was someone to care, just one person to pull you up and show you how to swim. With his eyes, Devon thanks Liam for being that person. Liam thinks there’s never been a better feeling in the world.

 

 “What can we do?” asks Kira. All three turn to look at the scurry of people setting up.

 

Liam laughs at Corey where he tries fitting his long legs and grown-up ass in and under a kiddie table and chair set to get his face painting stall set up. “Cor looks like he could use some help.”

 

Kira giggles and leans up to place a quick kiss to Liam’s cheek, and says, “This is a real nice thing you’re doing Li. Really nice.” And then she hauls off to Corey’s table, gripping Devon’s wrist although he obediently follows, anyway.

 

 Liam smiles to himself and sets a few more Size Small t-shirts aside when he smells it. It’s something like vanilla, like cookies, and he’s never been able to label it as anything else but a rainy Sunday.

 

“Oh my god.” He says before he even turns around.

 

When he does, Jenna stands there smiling warm like the sun, her arms already outstretched for him. He doesn’t hesitate for a moment and hurls himself toward her. He hugs her—arms around her waist like he imagines children hug their parents—and buries his face into the collar of her shirt.

 

 “Hi baby.” She says and kisses his hair, secures her arms around his shoulders. “How you doing?

 

“Fantastic. Right now, I’m doing fantastic.”

 

She chuckles at the inaudible mumbles and ruffles his hair. She doesn’t pull away until he does, she always taught them to hold on as long as the other person wants—you never know how much they need it.

 

“You’re so grown, Nugget. Look at you.”

 

Liam just about bursts on the inside and he’s afraid he might squeeze her so tight she’ll snap, so he lets go and stands in front of her. She immediately brings her tiny hands up to his face and rubs over the ugly bruise on his lip and jaw.

 

“Oh Li. Still, baby?” she sighs, full of as much exasperation as fondness.

 

He looks down, “Some habits… well, you know.”

 

She does know. Better than anyone else about schoolyard fights, split knuckles, busted lips. And he in turn knows the feeling of being sat down in her office and fixed under that disapproving but worried gaze while she wipes blood from his and Jimmy’s faces, sticking a band-aid on a bruise, telling them off while at the same time telling them how happy she is that they’re okay.

 

He misses Jimmy with something fierce in that moment, rubs over the place he got Jimmy’s name tattooed shortly after he died. He died with bruises from a fight still healing on his face, and Liam thinks- they will never heal now.

 

“He would have been so proud of you.” Jenna says because she knows that look on Liam’s face. She saw it the night she arrived at the scene where Jimmy was murdered, when she pulled Liam up off the ground and drove him back to the orphanage, for the first time, without Jimmy. He looked like that for months, he thinks, probably he still does sometimes.

 

 “Wish he could have been here to see it instead, you know?”

 

“He is. You know that.”

 

Liam makes a rough attempt at a smile and Jenna swings an arm around his shoulders. She walks him over to where the bus full of kids arrive, they stream out of the door with huge, blinding grins on their faces.

 

Kira hands them each a little bag and hat and then they scatter all over. The guys from the shop show them around and sit the smaller kids down at the Ninja Turtle table where they’re each given a small ball of pizza dough and shows them how to roll it out, then sprinkle cheese and pepperoni on it. 

 

They’re guided inside where they each proudly line their creations up on the kitchen counter for baking. Corey waits at the impossibly little table with his palette and paints their faces with whatever their tiny hearts desire.

 

 He’s standing beside Jenna watching and everything is going great until Theo arrives, and then it’s totally and incredibly perfect.

 

He shows up there in navy shorts and a white vest, golden, ripped and pretty as hell. He turns heads as far as he goes. Liam can’t blame anyone for staring. Instead of coming straight to Liam—who, to be fair, is the only person he really knows there—Theo makes his way over to where the kids are getting their faces painted.

 

He’s got no reason to, but he sits down beside Corey, grabs a brush and calls some kids over to him to paint their faces. They look ridiculous in those small chairs, Theo especially with his bulky frame, and oh so adorable surrounded by bright little faces.

 

 Jenna nudges his side, “A friend of yours?” and he follows her eyes over to Theo. Realizes he must have been staring.

 

“Uh, he’s… he—” Liam clears his throat, “Yeah. A friend.”

 

Her blonde hair whips around in the breeze when he looks at her, and on her face, he finds that she believes that word about as much as he does.

 

Friend. Sure. Friends don’t look at each other the way they do. But friends are all they can be, and he’ll remind himself of that every day. He’ll remind himself of the risk, the inevitable end should they peruse what’s suppressed within them. There is an end, there always is to stuff like that, and Theo is simply not something he can bear to see end.

 

Jenna smiles and looks back to Theo, “Life feels so long Nugget, but it’s the shortest damn thing we’ll ever do. Sometimes it’s too short to pretend, yeah?”

 

Liam tears his eyes away from her, and sighs, “Sometimes it’s all we can do, Jen.”

 

A little girl whose face Theo painted comes running over. What he’s painted doesn’t bear any kind of semblance to a butterfly, but the little girl loves it and she squeals and declares that she needs to pee. They laugh, and Liam shows Jenna to the restrooms.

 

And then he’s left alone to stare in peace. Stare at Theo attempting a Spider-Man mask on the next little girl, this one doesn’t look half bad though. Theo’s tongue pokes out of his mouth the way he’s concentrating to draw the eyes on a wriggly little person. He eventually resorts to cupping her small face and telling her something that makes her eyes go wide as she smiles.  When they’re done, she throws her arms around him, and his gigantic limbs wrap around her too. He sees her off with a kiss to her forehead and heads over to the pizza table where he greets each one of the kids and gushes over either their face paint or the pizza they’ve made.

 

Theo turns to him—little kids tugging at his arms—grins over his shoulder and winks.

 

Liam feels warm and overwhelmed with something he can’t place.

 

Later at dusk, after all the commotion has died down and he’s seen a bunch of tired, yawning, dirty-faced kids off with Jenna, he heads back into the shop.

 

Inside Theo, Mason, Corey and Tony are cracking open beers, Kira helps Gino tally up the funds collected for the Geyer Home Orphanage.

 

“Who’s hungry?” asks Tony, handing Liam a beer when he sits down at the counter opposite Theo.

 

They all pipe up with a collective groan, if Liam thought he had enough of pizza before, well today just kind of set it in stone. He thinks he’s probably done with it for life now.

 

Tony, already a few beers ahead, declares, “The boss is making pizza!” and marches himself to the kitchen.

 

Gino scolds him in Italian and that has Tony offended and spewing back and soon they’re bantering back and forth through the little kitchen divide, without Gino ever looking up from counting the money.

 

Kira sits with her colorful, tattooed legs folded beneath her, purple hair now twisted up in a bun, and while nursing a beer she stacks up the notes and ticks something off for Gino on a piece of paper.

 

Corey’s slotted in neatly between Mason’s thighs, and from the way Mason keeps talking into his neck and smiling—Corey blushing—Liam can tell they won’t be home tonight.

 

Devon and Andy sweep up the shop, getting rid of the used boxes, and like the time Mason, Liam, and Tony danced like idiots to Mariah Carey, they too do a little dance with the brooms to Gino’s fifties music playing in the background. If you blink, you’ll miss the sidelong glances between the two.

 

It all feels so familiar to him, like home, he’d almost go as far as daring to say it feels like family. But here things are easy, and he can breathe and nothing really matters, just his friends and the fact that they’re all smiling.

 

And, with the neon sign glowing red outside in the dark, illuminating the entrance of the shop it all looks pretty romantic too.

 

Liam laughs at Tony and Gino’s chitter, catching Theo’s eye. For the first time since Theo arrived they finally get to talk.

 

“What’re they saying?” Theo asks, taking a sip of his beer.

 

“Well. Gino just called him a little chicken. Said big cocks aren’t scared of little chickens.” Liam smirks, takes a sip too, “If you directly translate, you know.

 

Naturally, Theo sputters out a laugh and gets Liam going too, “Wow.”

 

“Uh huh.” Liam leans back on his elbow, “Hey, thanks for coming today. Kids really loved you. I mean you paint like shit, but they loved it so…”

 

“Oh is that how it is?”

 

Liam smiles and looks away from Theo in his sleeveless vest and his green eyes that are now big and dark in the dim light. “It’s just how it is.”  Theo’s eyes, however, burn into the side of Liam’s face.

 

“It’s a pleasure, Red.” Theo says when he finally looks away too, “Was great to be a part of something like this. You, uh, you did an amazing thing today.”

 

“Nah man,” Liam scoffs and feels his face get hot, “It’s no big deal.”

 

“Was to them. To those kids, you were a hero man. You can be proud of yourself.”

 

Except, Liam doesn’t know how to do that so he just smiles and looks down.

 

Gino spoils the moment with a loud curse and just about knocks his chair back, he re-adjusts his glasses and looks at a strip of paper in his hands.

 

“What?” Liam asks getting, up to check it out.

 

Gino lowers his glasses to the tip of his nose. “Three K donation… a cheque... for three thousand dollars!”

 

“Made out to the charity?!” Liam grabs the cheque out of his hands to make sure of it himself.

 

“To the charity!” Gino confirms then yells in Italian at Tony again, beckons him closer.

 

And sure as daylight, Liam stares back at a cheque made out to Geyer Home and his heart skips several beats, he’s so happy. The things they can do with this kind of money… he knows how much something like this means, along with the rest of the proceeds of the day.

 

“Doesn’t have a name though, I really wanna thank whoever gave this.” he hands the slip back to Tony. The only indication there is of the donor is their account number, ending with 0995. Not nearly enough to trace them by.

 

In the corner with Kira, Theo doesn’t look at him.

 

“Ai papi!” shouts Tony and comes out of the kitchen covered in flour and carrying a bottle of Grappa that looks like it’s been sitting on a shelf far beyond what was needed. Tony lines up ten shot glasses and pours them to the brim.

 

“Oh damn, this looks like death, man. What the hell is this shit?” Mason holds up the glimmering liquid and pulls a face at it.

 

Gino claps him on the back, “Drink! It’s the… how you say… juice of the gods.”

 

Liam and Mason giggle, “Nectar of the gods, I think, is what it’s called.” Liam corrects then shrugs. “What the hell right.”

 

Liam chugs his shot and the rest follow, and soon one shot becomes three, then four, and the music gets louder, people sing along and laugh and dance in the middle of the small pizza shop with red cheeks. And Theo looks at him.

 

This time, he doesn’t look away, because liquor makes you brave and stupid all at once.

 

It’s when Tony starts dancing with a slice of pizza cuddled close to his chest that they all get chased home for laughing and making him drop it on the ground. 

 

Mason and Corey follow them out hand in hand and head for Mason’s car while, Kira, Devon, and Andy pull off in her car and disappear off into the night.

 

And the two of them, flushed and giggling start strolling up the hill toward Liam’s apartment. No one questions why they’re both going in the same direction, as much as they don’t question their shoulders brushing when they walk and how right that feels.

 

His head is buzzing in a nice way, not enough for him to be out of it but just so that he feels a little floaty and sweet with it. When he peers over at Theo, he can tell by his pink cheeks and the fact that he’s still clutching his pizza slice, that he too, had maybe one too many shots.

 

Liam nudges at him without a word and Theo turns to him, smiles and throws his arm around Liam’s shoulders. “C’mere Red.”

 

They walk like that all the way home.

 

* * *

 

They stumble inside Liam’s apartment laughing since Theo keeps imitating Tony’s accent while waving the pizza around the way Tony did before dropping it on the ground. They’re in tears by the time Liam falls down on the couch clutching his stomach.

 

 “His face man… I can’t!”

 

 “Called it _Mi Amore_ …” Theo wheezes and drops down beside Liam, slaps the piece of pizza down on his thigh.

 

Liam cackles, probably really unattractively, “Oh my god shut up!”

 

Theo goes red from laughing, he’s not even sitting up straight, tries to say something again but he can’t breathe so he just flails. That has Liam in stitches again and he’s fanning himself to calm down but each time they lay eyes on the slice of pizza that Drunk Tony so dearly danced with, they bust at the seams again.

 

Theo looks at him, tears in his green eyes, face split into a grin.

 

“Don’t look at me dude I’m gonna pee myself.” He says and with a slack, half-hearted attempt, pushes Theo away but his hand lands on Theo’s face instead and before he can stop himself he’s caressing Theo’s cheek.

 

And just like that the entire moment flips.

 

From laughing, carefree and stupid, giggling like friends do—like they’re supposed to—he now sits here fairly tipsy, cradling Theo’s fucking gorgeous face in the palm of his hand.

 

Theo blinks and sucks in a breath, swallows too, because yeah: What the fuck is Liam doing?? He shouldn’t be doing anything at all.

 

But this time something inside him screams louder than any logical thought can, and he slides his thumb over Theo’s open, pink mouth, watches him close his eyes and lean into it ever so slightly, hesitates to close his lips since that would mean…

 

He does it though, he closes his lips and kisses the pad of Liam’s thumb. Liam drags in a deep breath and presses his finger into the curve of Theo’s lip, drags down over it and then it's game over.

 

Whatever reserves he harbored, crumble, and he surges forward and grabs Theo’s face, their lips collide chaotically, rough, then suddenly like their bodies know what to do they sway together and melt into it.

 

Theo’s gripping him around the waist, fingers digging in harder the deeper they kiss. He’s tugging on Theo’s shirt, separates from the kiss only to slip it over Theo’s head.

 

_What the fuck is he doing!?_

 

Upon sight of Theo’s naked chest Liam’s insides catch fire, “Fucking hell.” he breathes out, looking up at Theo like this is honestly the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

 

Theo shrugs and grins, probably not sure what to do. Liam thought a guy like him would be used to the attention because- holy shit! 

 

Liam’s hands have a mind of their own, so when Theo kisses him again his fingers dip into the cut of Theo’s v-line and he drags them up over his abs and nipples.

 

Theo makes a sound that reaches right into the core of Liam, grips his heart and squeezes. He squirms a little when Liam reaches his pecs and cups them in his palms. That’s when Liam pulls back, taking in just how perfect Theo is, even more so in the dim shitty lights of his apartment.

 

“Not fair…” Theo says, he still has that dopey grin on his face, but Liam’s concerned for a second until Theo lifts the hem of his shirt too.

 

Liam complies, happily stripping it off and snorts when Theo bites his lips. Liam’s not sure why because he’s not buff like Theo (or the guys he probably dates) he’s lean but still muscular, he likes to think.

 

“Oh, come on. You saw me practically naked the first night we met.” He says and goes for Theo’s mouth again, and Theo slides his hands up Liam’s back, their chests pressed together, breathing a little too fast.

 

_Holy shit this isn’t… he shouldn’t… but…_

 

“Yeah, but back then I couldn’t do this…” he leans in a fraction and wetly kisses the patch of skin under Liam’s jaw, his thumb sweeping over the tattoo lettering on Liam’s chest: _‘Nothing Gold Can Stay’_ It’s true, which makes what he is doing now all the more heartbreaking, yet he can’t make himself pull away, can’t stop, because Theo is warm and soft and tastes so good and his hands are all over Liam like he’s hungry.

 

A thick groan escapes Liam and his head tilts sideways of its own accord, he’s truly weak for this kind of touch. Theo seems to get that loud and clear because he begins sucking and Liam doesn’t stop him— _he should though, he should fucking stop all of this_ —he just moans low in his throat again.

 

He’s trying to keep back the guttural noises that threaten to spill from his mouth, the things he wants to call Theo, thoughts of what he wants to do to him, but he’s failing dismally, he realizes, when he lets out a whine and fists his hand in Theo’s hair.

 

Theo stops sucking at his neck and follows with a long lick over what Liam can feel is a bruise. Liam’s fucking dying inside, he’s rock hard. So, while Theo is still admiring his handiwork Liam gets hold of his hips and yanks him down flat on the couch. He straddles over Theo’s lap, kisses him hard, flat palms sliding into his neck to keep him there… _He should be letting him go. It just feels so good..._

 

Despite Liam’s internal protests things get pretty heated, Theo yanks Liam’s hips into him by the loops of his jeans so Liam starts rolling his body against Theo’s, grinding.

 

He can feel the thick bulge of Theo’s dick through his shorts as he rubs against it, it’s enough to have him panting unashamedly- that, and the sounds Theo makes into his mouth, how he smiles and tips his head back and whispers quiet yesses, encourages Liam. Warm hands ghosting over his back and squeezing his ass so hard he could finish just from that.

 

_And oh God this is too far… too far._

 

Theo fumbles around with Liam’s belt and Liam follows suit, heartbeat crashing like waves in his ears, and starts working Theo’s open too, both urgently pushing the material down.

 

He forces himself to slow it and take in a deep breath when he feels the soft, wet glide of Theo’s dick against his fingers. He shivers at the touch before he lets his hand wrap around him, and at that Theo makes a thick choked sound and pushes up into his fist.

 

_Shit… Goddamnit!_

 

Only a moment later his dick is out too and Theo’s reaching down to cup his balls and he thinks he’s going to fucking die, he’ll die happy, at least.

 

He is so, so beautiful, Liam can hardly breathe right.

 

He nuzzles into Theo’s cheek and takes them both into his hand, starts stroking them in tandem with frantic and trembling hands, foreheads pressed together, breathing up whatever air is left between them.

 

_He can’t stop now… not anymore… not when he’s about to..._

 

It’s hot and dirty and hungry, and they both make needy, shameful sounds when they come at almost the same time. Stuttering, grabbing for one another, attached by the mouth, pants around their thighs like teenagers who don’t know any better.

 

He drops down beside Theo, exhausted, arms wrapping around each other like it’s their business to do so.

 

Liam dwindles down from an incredible high only to plummet into a dark pit of regret.

 

Theo falls asleep in his arms.

 

Liam can’t breathe anymore.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry ^_^


	10. Broken

It’s raining when Liam wakes up, soft patter outside against the windows. Liam feels the absence of the big, warm body he curled up with last night. He’s not sure if he’s relieved about that or not. 

But, he finds when he opens his eyes, Theo has simply curled into a ball in his sleep, facing the back of the couch. His pants are still low on his hips, open in front and his torso still bare. He’s lovely, and it makes Liam’s heart throb

Liam shifts off the couch slowly and pulls his own jeans back up. He slips on one of Mason’s hoodies he left hanging over the back of the couch and tip-toes outside to the fire escape. The roof stretches over far enough that he can sit there and not get wet from the rain.

His smokes are still tucked under the stairs along with a lighter, so he lights one up and takes a deep, first drag of it. Its burn spreads warm within his chest and he tips his head back to let the smoke out, watching it billow into the wind.

And then his brain is awake enough to bury him six feet under in regret and self-loathing.

How the fuck could he be so stupid?? Sure, Theo’s lips taste fucking fantastic but the aftertaste of ‘just not good enough’ eats away at him. He knew it was a bad idea and yet he kept going because it felt too good to stop. Theo too, the idiot, why didn’t he say anything?? Why didn’t he stop this in its tracks?

Liam sucks in a quick long, breath. Theo is going to wake up from that couch any minute now and Liam will have to… what? What the fuck is he even going to say?? It’s kind of guaranteed that whatever he says will not be accepted well. He had the guy’s dick in his hand for Christ’s sake; he felt him come, had his tongue in his mouth…

And that’s exactly where the issue lies. He told himself he couldn’t have this, knew damn well he couldn’t but went ahead and fucked it up, anyway. And now what? He can’t be with this guy, not the way Theo wants; if he wants that at all.

Which brings him to the point of what if this was just a ‘getting off’ thing for Theo? Surely he can’t actually and honestly see a future beyond the realms of friendship with Liam. So realistically speaking that’s all this was then. He decides. They got drunk, did some stuff, some really intense stuff that felt awful nice. But that’s where it will stay.

All he can do now is suck up more smoke and pray Theo agrees. Pray that he’s as delusional as Liam is about it.

“Shit.” he sighs and regrets everything he’s done until this moment. Another minty drag of the smoke makes him feel a little lightheaded on his empty stomach. He scoffs at that thought- if there was a hope of him getting his eating habits back on track it’s all out the window now.

This is not how he wanted their friendship to go, Theo deserves more than this.

Inside he hears Theo shuffle on the couch and his stomach flips uncomfortably. He takes one last drag of his smoke and tosses it out into the rain then ducks back inside.

Theo just stands up when Liam steps inside and gives him a lazy smile, his eyes still drowsy and soft as he yawns. Liam doesn’t look at where his hands slide over his washboard abs or how his arms flex. He rather avoids looking at Theo at all costs.

“Uhm. Coffee?” Liam asks moving over to the kitchen and already feels an awkward tension in their regular, easy-going way.

“Yeah, please. Just, uh… toilet.” Theo says and shuffles himself there, he eyes Liam strangely, Liam feels it on his back.

_ “Oh god.”  _ Liam whispers to himself and rubs at his eyes. He feels positively sick. And he’s got no one to blame for this but himself. But, there is really no other way, and if there is he sure as hell can’t see it. Can’t make this work in any kind of way. He’s not… he can’t be the guy Theo waste his time on.

The bathroom door clicks open and the sound is almost louder than the rain, makes Liam jump. Theo walks out, heads straight for Liam and he’s afraid Theo’s going to try to kiss him or hold him and that will only make this worse, so he takes one step back and blurts out, “So, uh…”

“So…”

They speak at the same time and then shut their mouths as soon as they realize. Theo stops a few spaces away from Liam and they share an awkward, shy smile and Theo motions for him to carry on.

“I shouldn’t have let that happen. Last night I mean…” Liam blurts out, lacking the grace he had intended, and flinches. 

Theo’s face falls terribly, but he doesn’t say anything in response. Liam feels like utter shit, cheeks hot.

“I’m so sorry, Theo. I wasn’t… fuck, I wasn’t thinking and—”

“—You didn’t want to??” Theo gets pale, his voice now high and worried. “Fuck Liam!”

“No! No, I wanted to… God, no. I didn’t mean… It’s just…”

Theo frowns at him, confused, “What then?”

“I can’t... do this.” Liam sighs and drags his hand through his hair.

A desperate laugh escapes Theo, and he rubs his face, “And why’s that?”

“Theo come on. What happens after this, huh? Be real here. What, we become fuck buddies, get each other off when times are high ‘till one of us falls too hard, and this happens anyway?”

Theo puts his hands on his hips, incredulously shakes his head like Liam’s saying the most incomprehensible things he’s ever heard. It never occurs to Liam that is exactly what he’s doing.

Liam carries on in the absence of a reply from Theo, “Or, we  _ date,  _ Jesus… I don’t live the same way you do Theo, I’m fucked up. There are things in my head I don’t understand, things I can never expect another person to understand, and eventually those things...” He drops his hands at his sides, “Sooner or later all of that’ll catch up with us. I just can’t… I’ll fuck it up, I’ll find some way to fuck it up. And I can’t allow that. Not with you…”

Theo’s shoulders drop, and he lets out an exhausted breath, a scornful half-smile now tugging at his mouth. He glances down at his phone, at the time most likely, “Jesus, Liam.” he mutters and shakes his head. Then, he doesn’t look at Liam anymore.

This is what he was dreading, this is why he shouldn’t have let it go that far. This pained look on Theo’s face isn’t worth any orgasm in the world. “We can’t go down that road, Theo… Fuck, I’m sorry…”

_ I’m sorry for being broken, I’m sorry for breaking you. I’m so sorry.  _

Theo starts putting his shirt back on with quick, jabbing movements, buttons his pants and musses up his hair. Liam stops himself from thinking how gorgeous he already looks without having done much else. It’s this kind of thinking that landed them in the middle of this shit show in the first place.

“Theo…” he says helplessly.

“Liam. Fuck.” Theo sighs pointedly, “I have to go. Got class.”

He looks so flustered, depleted of any happiness it makes Liam’s chest feel tight.

“Theo it’s Sunday… Look just…”

He looks down again, gathers up his things and turns to the door. “Yeah well, I’ve gotta run anyway, Liam.”

With the last bit of wavering hope that he didn’t fuck this up in the biggest of ways, he calls after Theo, “Theo!” 

He turns back to Liam frowning.

“Please... Are we okay?” Liam knows how unfair it is to ask that right now, of course, nothing is okay. Nothing. Not his heart, certainly not Theo’s.

“Sure, Liam.” and he smiles- it’s kind but too distant to be true, “We’re fine.” 

The door shuts behind him and Liam’s left staring at it and he’s sure he’s never felt as horrid as he does right now. Perhaps the morning he woke up to an empty bed finding his girlfriend gone comes in a close second, but it still hadn’t twisted up his gut like this. He knew Hayden would eventually bail. He saw it coming a mile away the first night he woke up crying in his sleep. Doesn’t blame her either.

He’s staring at the ceiling, despaired when Mason comes home. He’s proper disheveled, hickeys in his neck, looking as well fucked as he probably is. It makes Liam smile a little at least, for about two seconds before he’s back to feeling miserable.

“Hey?” Mason says and comes closer. He knows without knowing when something is going on, “Saw Theo on his way out.”

Liam drops his head, and blows out a long breath he’d been holding in, “Yeah…”

For a moment a small hopeful look passes over Mason’s face, “He stayed over??” He puts his keys and wallet down on the kitchen counter, and Liam really catches a glimpse of the dark bruises in his neck, he remembers then that Theo had left something pretty similar his is own neck the night before.

His hand flies up to his throat and cups over where he assumes the mark must be, and he dumbly stares at Mason, “Uh…”

“Oh. My. God. Oh my god!!”

“Mason, no…”

Mason grabs his wrist and pulls it away from his neck, his eyes widen at the sight and he just about beams, “Oh my god!!”

Liam shakes his head, closes his eyes and makes a noise not even he is familiar with.

“What?” says Mason and leans back to look at him, the excited glint in his eyes now long gone, “What’s that noise for?”

“Need a smoke.” Liam says and heads back to the fire escape. Mason follows him out and he scoots up to make space for his friend, their small frames fit precisely on one step and Liam welcomes the comfort of closeness right now.

Beside him Mason grabs the box of smokes and, as he always does, lights one up for Liam, takes a singular deep drag for himself and hands it over. Liam doesn’t have the energy to scold him.

“Right.” Says Mason, blowing out smoke thick bubbles of smoke, “What happened?”

“So, we… I don’t know, we did stuff.”

“Obviously.”

“Seemed like a pretty fuckin’ solid plan at the time you know.” He takes a drag too. “My dick thought so anyway.”

“But it wasn’t?”

Mason looks surprised when Liam actually hands the smoke back to him. He’s always adamant that Mason did the right thing by quitting. He doesn’t argue though, takes the smoke from Liam and arches up a brow.

“You’re gonna need it.”

“Uh huh.”

“Told him it was a mistake…”

Mason’s head jerks to him, “Ah, Liam why??”

“Mase. You know how it gets. You know how I get. I can’t drag someone into all of this,” Liam waves a hand at himself, “not Theo, it’s not fair. And I mean that’s besides the very obvious.”

“Jesus Li, did you tell him he’s out of your league because you’re poor?? Please tell me you didn’t say something that dumb...”

“Not in so many words, no.”

“Fuck dude.”

“He looked so broken up, man. Really fucked this up.” he takes the smoke from Mason and flicks the ash over the fire escape.

“Starting to understand why we're smoking. Okay, look. This is not ideal, in any way, shape or form. But you shouldn’t do things you don’t wanna do, I think you’re wrong Li but if you’re not ready—”

“Wrong how?”

“You can’t tell me you haven’t seen how he looks at you…”

Theo used to look at him like he was pretty great. He looked at Liam like he was worth something like he was more than his circumstances. Liam’s not sure how Theo will look at him now though if the dejected mask he put on earlier is anything to go by.

Liam tips his head back against the wall, “Remember when Hayden phoned you and said there’s something wrong with me, you gotta come over right away…”

Mason leans in closer to him, presses tight to his shoulder and sighs quietly, “You were having a panic attack.”

“Yeah, but remember how terrified she was? I could never do that to him…”

“Liam. No.” Mason shakes his head and hooks his arm through Liam’s, “No no no, you didn’t do anything to anyone. She wasn’t a great person, okay? That’s exactly how I met you the first time—in a really bad way—and look at me. I’m still here.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re  _ the best _ kind of person.” he squeezes Mason’s arm and remembers that night as if it was yesterday.

It was a freezing day in January, rain fell unrelenting and hard with bouts of lightning in between. It was also the day they released Liam from the Geyer home as an adult, shortly after Jimmy’s death.

Policy required any child who reached the age of majority to be released and granted a chance at society integration on their own. Jenna had cried when she sent him off, stuffed four hundred bucks in his hands, and Liam is sure if it were up to her she would have housed him in her office for all of eternity, but he ensured her he needed to do this. He promised Jimmy after all. He promised to get out and make something of himself.

But, Liam was a heartbroken, mourning teenager with crumpled notes in his pocket and no clue where he ended up after getting on, and subsequently off, the wrong bus. He was lost then, overwhelmed in a city full of strangers, and deeply alone.

He found himself at a half-sheltered bus stop soaked through with rain, and freezing as it got darker and darker, too dark and hazy to see where to go. He stood there in the strangeness, directionless, hungry, tired and emotionally drained, missing Jimmy like all hell because if there was anyone who would know what to do in a dire situation like that it’d have been Jimmy Flemmer.

Jimmy would have told him to suck it up, would have splashed him with puddle water and it all would have been fine, he would have called him obscene and disgusting names until Liam’s stomach hurt with laughter. Jimmy could make a throne out of a pile of shit and sit comfortably. 

Liam remembers how he started bawling there in the rain, by himself, until his shoulders shook with the force of it and how he felt that loneliness down to his bones, how he started shivering and how suddenly everything around him was too loud and too quiet at the same time and all he wanted was someone to hold him. Someone to save him. 

And then, through the thick forming mist, he saw headlights, and they blinded him.

Not a single car had come from that direction as yet, not a single car had been anywhere in sight, but that one slowed down the moment the headlights fell on Liam’s shrinking figure. Of course, at first—as anyone encountering a stranger would do—he looked in the other direction, avoiding eye contact.

A skinny guy got out of the car, approached him carefully and slow. He saw Liam’s red-rimmed eyes and remembers Mason asking if he needed a ride. Initially, he said no, too proud to accept help, determined to do this on his own otherwise it meant that he couldn’t. That surviving alone was too hard.

“Well then, I guess we’ll just wait here.” Mason told him and took up a space beside him, in the unrelenting downpour.

Liam thought he was insane at the time, felt annoyed even, but they stood there with their hands stuffed in their pockets staring out ahead. Mason didn’t make any move to leave him alone, didn’t waver even though he was getting drenched himself.

It took a bright bolt of lightning to finally prompt Liam into moving. They both jumped and made a beeline to Mason’s car, laughing when they hurled themselves inside.

Mason must have known Liam had nowhere to go. He didn’t ask questions, simply drove them to his apartment and made them each a cup of steaming coffee.

They both ended up with a cold and for a week Corey took care of them, and after many arguments and declined invitations Liam agreed to stay forever.

He had a bit of a crush on Mason then, too. Mason was simply one of the kindest people Liam had ever met and he had this ingrained tendency of getting attached to kindness. 

He thought it’d be this way with Theo too- that eventually the crush would subside as it had with Mason, and they’d become the best of friends.

They  _ are  _ friends, great friends, but somewhere within the flesh of his heart, this boy had planted roots. Theo had grown there without Liam realizing. Or, perhaps he had realized a long time ago but chose not to water those roots.

Liam puts out the smoke and sighs, he’s been doing a lot of that today, “I fucked up, Mase. Fucked up real bad.” he tells Mason and feels Mason’s arm tighten around his own.

“Yeah bud.” Mason sighs too. “You need to give him some time. Just… he’s hurt you know. Probably humiliated, but I doubt that he’s gone.”

Liam’s eyes sting in their sockets and he tries hard not to cry, he has no right to do that. He’s the bad guy here.

“Li…” says Mason softly, his voice barely a whisper against the backdrop of rain.

He turns his head to his friend and Mason’s eyes are soft when they meet Liam’s, kind yet burning with protective intensity, “Hm?”

“You’re allowed to be happy too, you know? You’re allowed to let people love you unconditionally if that’s what they wanna do.” Mason gives him a small smile, “Some of us are strong enough to handle it.”

Liam grimaces and looks away again. He doesn’t reply to that, only mulls it over in his head and wonders how true it is because it feels an awful lot like a fairy tale.

And he’s no prince.

* * *

Theo’s been staring at the same spot in the sand for probably an hour. The beach is wet and mushy, but the rain has calmed down. He’s soaked through, however, his clothes sticking to his skin. He came straight here after leaving Liam’s place, it’s empty so early in the morning, no one around to see him sob like a baby.

He angrily wipes at his eyes and wonders exactly when he fell so in love with Liam that it hurts this bad. He can’t recall ever feeling as stupid, love-sick and shell-shocked as he does now. Perhaps it was when Liam smiled at him from across the pizza counter, spinning dough like Theo had never seen before. Could have been any one of the many times Liam smiled at him if he’s honest with himself.

But he knows that boy had his heart chained up and tied down the night he took a swing at a guy four times his size. Theo remembers worrying that his pretty face would be marred forever after that… all that blood… but he’s all the more beautiful for it.

He thought that last night… finally… but he was wrong.

He swears he can still taste Liam on his lips, that he still smells faintly of his cologne too. Liam's body so warm against him while they slept. He thought, stupidly, that the next morning would be the start of a brand-new road for them, had looked forward to Liam smiling at him all bleary and sweet.

God, he’d do anything to make Liam happy.

Even now, even with his heart broken this way, even shot down and wounded he still adores him more than anything. Liam is still the thing that makes his blood run a little hotter. He’s not a sucker for perpetual punishment but he knows this is right, this is the man he is meant to be with. It’s the kind of feeling his mom had always told him about: overwhelming, consuming, breathtaking. Just like her and dad. He knows it.

And so, he will keep Liam close until the time is right.

But first he needs to keep himself away. He needs to heal, and you can’t exactly do that when you keep running into the same dagger.


	11. Level 2 - Emergency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for a character going into shock, mild descriptions of violence, lots of medical talk and mentions of procedures, blood, and injuries. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional, and even though I've done research on what I wrote here I could still have some of this super wrong. But it's fic so we will pretend yeah?

For three weeks Mason has watched Liam and Theo dance around each other. He’s had to bear witness to Liam picking up his phone, typing a message, backspacing as if his life depends on it, and putting the phone back down. Sometimes he throws it only to retrieve it ten minutes later and starts typing again, the second bout is followed by a groan and him promptly leaving the house. Only returning in the early hours of the next day.

He has had to sit through Theo coming into the pizza shop. Twice. The first time Liam didn’t see him coming and was forced to serve him. Mason has never seen anything more awkward in his fucking life.

Theo was the color of a stop sign, Liam developed a stutter and a sweating disorder, fucked up the order and Mason had to endure seven extra minutes of them looking at everything else in the store besides each other.

Idiots.

Tonight, he is waiting up for this dude and having a come-to-Jesus-talk with him. This can’t continue. So what if they touched dicks and Liam spat it back out, so what if they slept together with each other’s dried jizz still stuck on them both? 

Gross.

They need to man the fuck up and make good. They're big boys. He’s told Liam that Theo is a good guy, they’re good friends- if that’s what the fuck they want to call it. What bullshit. Every fool with a pair of eyes can see how they stare at one another when they think no one is watching or when the other one looks away.

Mason is ever aware of Liam’s self-destructive tendencies, knows that Liam deals with stress and trauma through violence. Some people drink, some get high, some run away. Liam gets himself socked in the face. It’s not a desirable outlet, it’s a dreadful one, a nerve-wracking one.

The not knowing, the worry. It’s enough to have a man tethering on the edge of madness. He cares deeply for Liam, loves him like a brother. They’ve shared heartache when Liam searched endlessly for his mother, and Mason lost his dad. They’ve both endured nightmares and tears and sorrow. Those are things Mason can handle, he knows how to wipe tears, he knows how to be a rock to lean on.

What he can’t deal with is endless worry each night that Liam is out on the streets. And it’s not so much a relief as a held-up breath being let out once Liam steps foot in the apartment, not covered in blood and cuts like he has been so many times before.

It’s not viable for him or his relationship with Corey to go out with Liam each night to babysit. It’s not healthy or attainable, but the guilt eats him up inside, the worry keeps him up long after Corey has drifted off in his arms.

Sometimes Liam comes home dead sober, his face blank, sits on the fire escape and smokes before retiring to his room. Other times Liam stumbles inside with red lipstick smears on his neck and passes out on the single couch in a sad heap. Occasionally the owner of the red lipstick is still attached to his neck, and Mason has to sleep with a pillow over his head.

Liam doesn’t mean to be inconsiderate, he’s one of the kindest people Mason’s ever known. But he is also terribly broken, and sometimes the things he thinks affects only himself bleeds over into Mason’s life. Into everyone’s life who finds themselves in Liam's orbit.

Liam won’t let himself be loved and valued, not before putting up a crippling fight. But it doesn’t occur to him that people do anyway, whether he wants it or not, and those people hurt with him. Be it because of a split lip or a shattered heart. It’s all the same to them.

“Babe,” Corey says and slinks his arms around Mason's middle. “What are you frowning like that for?”

He glances at the clock. Twelve thirty a.m...

“Still not home,” Mason mumbles, but it's hard to focus on being pissed off when Corey's warm hand presses flat against his lower belly. 

Corey kisses Mason's ear. “Yeah. That's why you're making more coffee so we can stay up.” 

He remembers that he was actually busy doing that before he started fretting. 

“I worry. He's—you know…” 

“I know. Our child. Basically.” Corey says over Mason's shoulder 

Mason pours two cups full of steamy black coffee and turns in Corey's arms to face him. 

“I feel like… like sometimes I'm not there enough, you know. Like I could be there for him more.”

Before Corey gets to reply with what Mason knows would be kindness, his phone vibrates beside them on the countertop. 

It's Liam's number and his stupid icon of a grumpy cat. Mason's heart sits at the bottom of his stomach when he answers.

“Li? What's up bud—”

_ “Is this Mason Hewitt?” _

Oh god.

“Yeah? Who—”

_ “Mr. Dunbar—” _

Mason feels so far outside of his body; he thinks he might puke. His head is fuzzy and his hands clammy, squeezing something soft.

_ “—has you listed as his next of kin. Are you—” _

_ Oh. God.  _

There are sirens. In the background. Why… what's… oh God. Liam. 

Mason slumps back against the fridge and makes himself speak. “What?” 

_ “—severely beaten… transported to Cali Med—” _

He might really puke. Corey's eyes are wide, his face pale. “What…” he repeats and sees Corey's lips move, but he can't hear a thing. Just static. 

_ “—advise you get there. Now.” _

And the line goes dead. Oh, fuck. Fuck!

“Mason!!” Corey snaps his fingers in front of Mason's staring eyes to make him focus. “Talk to me. What's going on??” 

“Liam…” all the bits fall together brutally and leave a cleft open gash in his stomach, a dreadful feeling. Mason shoots to his feet, grabs his phone and his car keys and his Corey. “He's hurt! Real bad. Hospital.”

Somehow in the scurry to get downstairs Corey wrangles the car keys away from Mason. Which is a fantastic idea since he can't stop shaking.

Severely beaten the guy said.

Mason swallows down another wave of nausea and gets in the car. The ten-minute drive feels like forever. Street lights swoop past the window in smudged yellow streaks, and the brake lights of vehicles ahead are red blotches in their windshield. His face wet with tears that stream down. 

“Baby. Hey… hey, calm down.” Corey says, and Mason feels a warm hand fold around his own. “You need to breathe okay. Almost there.”

“If he… I can't…”

Corey squeezes. “No. Don't think like that. Let's just… let's just wait for the doctor to...”

God, Liam, please... Please.

 

The emergency room is quiet and the lights far too bright, hallways smell of cleaning chemicals and in a corner booth nurses and paramedic staff work in fast, fluent motions around a hospital bed. 

There are deep red blotches on the sheet. The sound of scissors slicing through material. A bloody suction pipe is extracted from… The throat? Mouth?

And then a nurse pulls the curtain shut before Mason sees the occupant of the bed. 

“Reception said he’s in there,” says Corey and points to the booth which Mason now stares at blankly. His best friend is in there, that suction pipe… the one covered in blood came out of him. Why?

“Mason…”

His head snaps to Corey, and he blinks. “What?”

“They need you to complete a file for Liam, Mase.”

He nods, and Corey guides him to the nurse holding a clipboard and a pen, who has a blood smear on her scrubs. He goes through all the motions, answers all her questions, explains that no, there is no one else. He is the closest thing to family that Liam has, and the words sound so much like the things Liam cries in his sleep sometimes: _“I’m all he has… There is no one else… Jimmy please…”_

Liam. _Please._

There is a red sticker placed in the top corner of the file that reads “Level 2 – Emergency.” that he stares at while she writes down all the things his mouth tells her of its own accord.

“What happened? How bad is he hurt?” Corey softly asks.

“The paramedics reported it as interpersonal violence.” the nurse says while writing. “The attacker was apprehended from what I've heard.”

In his hand, Corey’s tightens.  

The nurse places her own pale hand over his knee, “We are doing our very best to help him, Mr. Hewitt. The doctor will be out to talk with you as soon as she can. For now, we need your consent on behalf of Mr. Dunbar—”

Mason looks at her and frowns. His voice cracks when he asks her, “Why?”

Her small smile is at least somewhat comforting, “At the moment it’s hard to establish the extent of injuries other than the obvious. Mr. Dunbar needs to be sent for CT scanning, to determine damage. He's presently unconscious, Mr. Hewitt, not able to legally consent to medical procedures, and since you are listed as his kin…”

“Okay.” He breathes and feels some reality seep back into his head, some clarity. “Okay. Yeah. Of course.” Mason signs the form she hands him and a couple more before she thanks him and is on her way with the promise of news when the doctor returns.

They get comfortable in the waiting room after the nurse with the blood smeared scrubs disappears from view and they watch as Liam's bed is wheeled off to another wing. 

Mason stops shaking at some point, Corey brings them coffee in a small, white cup and they stare at the clock on the wall. Its ticks are almost enough to lull Mason to sleep if he weren't worried sick.

He sits with Corey's hand in his lap, sipping on really gross, lukewarm vending machine coffee. It does the trick though, slowly brings his mind back to himself. Away from CT scans and what might result from those. He just wants Liam with him, wants to hold him and make wherever hurts better. Suddenly he can’t remember the last thing he told Liam, the last joke they shared or video game they played together.

Corey yawns and rests his head on Mason's shoulder. It breaks the spiral he was headed toward because he's irrational- of course he remembers all those things. He’d just like to do them one hundred times more. Liam can’t…

“You should call Theo,” Corey says. “Jenna too. They’d want to know.” 

“It's two in the morning, Cor.” 

“Would you bat an eye if someone phoned you for this at two in the morning?” 

Mason glares at him but pulls his phone from his pocket. “Don’t be so reasonable, I might fall in love with you.” 

Corey kisses his hand. 

He dreads this. There is nothing he can even tell Theo right now, he can only bring worry with this phone call, but Theo cares for Liam despite Liam causing him heartache. He saw the sad, lingering looks Theo gave him when visiting the pizza shop a few days ago. 

“Mhm?” Theo answers thick and sleepy. This isn't how anyone should be woken up.

“Theo. Hi. Uhm, it's Mason…”

There's a rustle on the other side of the line, “Mason?? What—”

“Listen, Liam has been… he got hurt. Real bad.”

“What?! Where is he??”

“Cali Med. We're here at the hospital now. They can't… they haven't told us anything yet, so you don't need to—”

“I'm on my way.”

Mason drops the call when Theo does. 

 

 

When Theo shows up twenty minutes later, he’s carrying a tray with three tall Starbucks coffees and has a terrible frown between his eyes. He arrives just as the doctor comes through the glass sliding doors opposite the waiting area.

“Hey,” Theo says softly and places the tray of coffees down on the small table beside them.

Mason shakes his hand, “Hey man. I’m so sorry—”

“No, it’s not… I’m glad you called.” Theo says and takes up a place close to Mason’s side. Mason thinks they are possibly the three most terrified people in California right this second. But they’re here together, in this together and whatever happens, they’ll be here for Liam too.

The doctor at least is kind and warm, friendly even at such an ungodly hour when she too is deprived of sleep.

She shakes Corey, Theo and then Mason’s hand, “Mr. Hewitt?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m doctor Moodley.  So, Mr. Dunbar came in with extensive injuries, unconscious, and from the outside, it looked pretty bad. To ensure the insides didn’t match the outside we had to run a computerized tomography scan of his head and chest area.” she smiles sympathetically and holds an x-ray up against the light.

“The good news is that he is alive despite such critical injuries. The bad news is that there is swelling around this area.” With her pen, she circles the left side of Liam’s skull on the x-ray.

Mason rubs a hand over his head, “His. Brain??”

She nods and pulls her mouth into a line. 

At this point, Theo sits down in the chair, a hand over his mouth.

“Yes, his brain. This sometimes happens with any kind of head trauma. In this case, it seems the attack was quite brutal, but we suspect he largely managed to guard his head or fight back for most of the blows.” 

Dr. Moodley switches to another x-ray, “Seems his forearm and ribs took the worst of the hits. See the tiny fractures—” again, she shows Mason where Liam’s two ribs are cracked and the thin little line that runs diagonally along his forearm. 

“The blow to his head is indicative of a knee or the tip of heavy work boots. Most likely what rendered him unconscious, but it was singular in nature which most likely saved his life.”

“The uh, the brain swelling….” Theo says, and gets up again, “Is it… will he… uhm…”

Mason doesn’t even want to think it. The gross vending machine coffee makes a threat of return at the thought of Liam being brain damaged.

The doctor gives him another kind smile, “We can’t determine much right now. We can only manage his pain, keep him still until we can get some of this swelling down.”

Mason blinks at her, “There was so much blood, I…”

“Yes.” She scrunches up her face in a grimace of empathy, “We also have a nasal fracture, orbital floor fracture, severe soft tissue damage. He bled quite a bit from that alone. He’s pretty battered up, Mr. Hewitt, he looks awful.”

Mason squeezes Theo’s shoulder, the guy looks pale, painfully close to tears and in desperate need of that coffee, he brought with him. 

Corey clears his throat, “When can we see him?”

“We’re keeping him sedated until we make some headway with the swelling and can stop the bleeding enough to remove the suction tube. We’re getting him stabilized and comfortable, and then I’ll have a nurse come get you.”

Mason rubs his face. This all sounds so dire, so bad that he’s struggling to find a bright spot to focus on. By the looks on Theo and Corey’s faces, he’s not alone.

“The other good news is, Mr. Hewitt, he won’t require any surgery at this point. The fractures are minor and won’t require any surgical interference or corrections.”

It is somewhat of a relief to hear that until she adds:

“I just need you to understand that there is no way to determine brain activity until Liam regains consciousness. There is a genuine possibility of brain damage, Mr. Hewitt, vision impairments, long or short-term memory loss…”

Mason’s face contorts like a child’s who has been told off, and his chin does an embarrassing wobble that makes the kind Dr. Moodley place a hand on his arm.

“I’ll let you guys know when he’s ready. Until then, get some rest.”

And then she’s off with her pale pink lab coat and matching flower print bandana. The glass doors swoosh open then shut, and they’re left alone in the big, cold waiting room again.

Mason sinks down in the chair beside Corey, “Jesus Christ.” and Theo sits forward with his head in his hands. 

 

 

They drink their coffee in silence, sitting unmoving in their seats and staring straight ahead. Mason thinks that they’re all just attempting to come to terms with what has transpired over the last few hours. It’s one of those things you think will never happen to you, you think you’ll never have to sit in a waiting room when someone that you love could be taking their last breath.

He has nothing to compare this too, nothing to give him any indication that it will or won’t be okay. With his dad it was inevitable, they knew it was coming after months of illness. They said what they needed to say, spent every single moment together, and when he went, he knew how loved he was. 

This blindsided them all. And now he’s sitting with words in his mouth that Liam may never hear or understand.

Mason’s head works around the different outcomes, naturally thinks about the worst-case scenario more than anything.

The doctor said his best friend might not be able to ever to cheat shamelessly at another video game, he might never run into the house calling Mason’s name as if it’s an emergency just to greet him with a stupid smile. 

If he’s… if the damage leaves him totally unresponsive, will Mason ever hear him have another nightmare? Will he ever be able to tell if Liam is having a bad day or will all the days just blend into one awful, long, lousy day.  He’d never get to watch Liam put on eyeliner and dress himself up, blushing when Mason compliments him. 

He’d never know just how important he is to everyone and how he changed their lives only by being in it.

Mason’s eyes gleam wetly again, smudging his vision and his chin does that horrible wobble. 

“Hey… Oh my god, hey.” The blurry image of Theo’s large frame comes closer, and he kneels in front of Mason. His presence is so warm, so safe, Mason wants to wrap himself, Liam and Corey up in Theo’s arms and never come out.

Corey turns to him too and leans in to place an arm around Mason’s shoulder, resting their temples against one another’s. “Mase…” he whispers.

Tears flow like water breaking open a dam wall, so much so that he begins sobbing uncontrollably, shaking. 

“Listen,” Theo says as gently as he can, and reaches out for both Corey and Mason’s hands. “Liam is probably one of the strongest people I know. He’s gonna be fine. This is all going to be fine…” he says and ducks his head to catch Mason’s eyes.

“What if it’s not?” he asks hoarsely. Corey sniffs and buries his face in Mason’s neck. 

Theo looks at him and in his eyes is resolution, so unwavering it gives Mason chills.  

“Then we deal with it. Then we do what we’ve always done.”

Corey lifts his head, and Mason smiles at Theo—weak as it may be—because he knows, “We love him unconditionally.”

The acknowledging smile Theo gives him is shattering. He doesn’t know how Liam ever had the will to walk away from this boy, doesn’t know how he had been the recipient of this smile hundreds of times and hadn’t fallen apart.

What he does know now, with as much certainty as he knows of the moon in the sky, is that Theo loves Liam. 

Theo loves Liam. And Liam better pull through.

 

The clock hits four am when a small, stocky nurse finally comes to collect them. In unison, they all jump up and follow her. In front of the Intensive Care Unit, she abruptly spins around, and the three of them bounce back a few spaces. 

“Only one at a time. Only family.” 

“I mean, he’s an… he doesn’t have—”

“Only family.” She says again and blows a big bubble with her gum. 

Corey steps forward a little, “Well, this,” he points to Mason. “This is Liam’s brother, so—”

Her eyebrow goes up, “Uh huh.”

“What? Is that a problem?” Mason asks, and he’s probably never been that cheeky in his life. He kind of likes it. 

The nurse rolls her eyes, the bubble pops, “So what does that make you two then, huh?”

“Brothers also,” says Theo and squares up beside Corey. 

“Huh. Twins?”

“Obviously.”

“I can tell.” She glances at the clock then the reception desk, which is empty right now, then cocks her head to the doors of the I.C.U.

Thanks to the quiet chuckling when they shuffle down the hallway toward Liam’s section, the tension they each hold dissipates marginally. Mason doesn’t know that once he rounds the corner and sees Liam lying there, he’d come to another stuttering halt because not a thing—the kindest briefing, the sweetest smile, the comfort of friends—nothing could ever have prepared him to see Liam in such a state. 

Corey and Theo flank the bed and stare silently while Mason stands at Liam’s feet and does the same. Suddenly the ward seems frozen in the lurid lights, it feels cold, and for the first time, grey is something Mason feels in his bones. 

It’s Liam lying there. He knows that because he can see his tattoos, the furling blue flowers in his neck, the wolf head on his chest, the pictures Corey has painted on his arms, but save for that he’d never have recognized him. 

His face his swollen, contorted, bulging in places it shouldn't. There are deep, blood crusted cuts on his cheek and lip. His hair is sticky with blood, clumped together on the top of his head, as if a fist had curled in there to keep him still so they could bust him up even more. His hair is red though, so red, and Mason thinks it’s a good thing he can’t exactly tell what’s blood and what’s hair dye. 

He shouldn’t feel so smug about the bloody, split knuckles on Liam’s left hand though. But he does because the doc was right, he thinks, Liam defended himself to some extent, got a hit or two in. Mason wants to find the fucker who did this and set his car on fire. 

But Jesus, Liam looks dire, he looks broken and blue and swollen. Not like Liam at all. 

Theo has taken a small cotton ball to clean the cuts with, he works carefully like he might wake Liam, but he’s not waking up anytime soon. The blood has crusted in the lines of his face, around his mouth corners—his mouth that is slack around the oxygen and suction tube which in turn is plastered to his cheeks to stay put.

Mason wraps his hand around Liam’s ankle and squeezes, almost expects him to wake up yet he doesn’t.

Not yet. Mason reminds himself. 

Most of the blood comes off, the cotton ball now stained red and brown, but Liam’s face looks better under the circumstances. He is pale and bruised but… clean.  Liam would hate so much to be dirty.

“Wanna wash his hair,” says Theo with a cracky voice and shiny-wet eyes, his palm resting lightly atop Liam’s head. He looks haunted and lost as he stares down at Liam. “he’d hate this.”  

“When he’s... better,” Mason tells him and starts wiping his knuckles with another cotton ball. “I’m sure they’ll let you once he’s better.” Liam’s hands are cold and limp in his own, and when he’s done, he tucks the corner of the blanket over Liam's hand and watches Corey do the same with this other hand. 

Corey goes to take Mason’s hand. “We should get out of here before someone notices, and we get banned.” 

Theo leans down and softly presses his lips to the curve of Liam’s swollen temple. His lips whisper something Mason can’t hear, but he sure hopes Liam can. 

Back in the waiting area, they all agree to go home, no point in sitting around the in rigid-back chairs if they won’t be allowed back in again tonight. 

“I’ll need to pick up his shifts at Gino's. We need the money.” Mason says.

Theo nods, “I’ll be here.”

“Thank you.” Mason places his hand on Theo’s shoulder, “Thanks for everything.”

Theo looks out into the night outside the hospital doors, frowns as if what is on his mind weighs about a ton.  “I love him you know. I love him even if he doesn’t want me too. And I’d still feel the same even if after this he could be—” his jaw clenches and his chin does the thing too. The wobbly thing.

“I know.” Mason smiles at him. “I hope when he wakes up, he’s ready to hear that... 

I hope you say it even if he’s not.”

 


	12. The Lucky One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for medical talk and description of injuries.
> 
> Lots of easter eggs in this one :) enjoy!

The first day is easy. Theo shows up at the hospital early, a few minutes before the first round of visiting hours. He brings a venti coffee with him to better function on the three hours of sleep he managed before the sun came up.

In addition to the minor grooming he did the night before with a wet cotton ball, the nurses seem to have also tidied Liam up. He wants to believe the swelling around Liam’s eye has deflated some. He wants to believe the deep blue and purple bruise that nearly covers the expanse of Liam’s face has faded.

These things are not real, however. It’s only been hours.

The notes on the file state that the doctor was just there for morning rounds and her check-up found his condition remains the same, but stable.

All he does is stare, really. Just stares at Liam as if the scars will dissipate under his stern glare. They don't. All this exercise does is make him feel queasy and faint. Liam must be in an awful lot of pain and if he were awake, Theo is sure it would have been unbearable to even breathe.

He finally dares to take Liam’s hand into his own. “You, uh…” Oh, this feels stupid. Can Liam even hear him? “You know I’m not upset, right.”

There is no reaction from Liam.

“I mean, okay. I’m upset. I was upset. I just... Guess I should have known better, Liam. Should have known you weren’t…”

He shakes his head. This is so hard. It’s hard because he should have told Liam this while fully cognizant, not as a regretful afterthought born out of fear that Liam might…

“The point is, Red. Shit happens. And yeah, I wish the shit that happened wasn’t... our dicks rubbing…” he whispers that last part.

“But I don’t regret it. It’s hard to move on from yeah, it’s hard to not want that when I look at you. But I’ll take you however I can get you… maybe that makes me a sap. Maybe it makes me stupid. I don’t care.”

He kisses the back of Liam’s hand right over the lotus flower tattoo, lets his lips linger on the soft, warm skin.

Then, with his voice much thinner and rasping around the words, he says, “I just need you to… to pull through here, Red. I need you to be okay… Jesus, I just. You can’t leave me okay? You can’t leave Mason.”

The slow and stable beep of Liam’s heart monitor is the only response. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The second day is much the same but harder. Again, Liam is in the same position as before, Doctor Moodley’s notes on his patient file mark no improvement.

Liam was taken for another CT scan in the early morning hours but there has been no reduction of ‘Cerebral edema’ yet—which Theo assumes is the brain swelling, and even more terrifying when read in its medical term—but the suction tube has been removed, and therefore bleeding has significantly decreased. Which is excellent, he looks much better with only the oxygen tube and I.V lines attached to his person.

The excitement thereof only lasts a few minutes and then Theo is swallowed by the silence around him again.

Liam doesn’t move or twitch or stir. He is motionless and pale, his chest rises and falls in rhythm with the Beeps. But the Beeps never change. No indication that Liam can hear him.

This is awful. This is not Liam.

The nurse comes in during the visitation hour to administer something via syringe into the I.V.

“What’s that for?” Theo asks.

“Antibiotic. For infection.”

Great. Because a swollen brain and multiple bone fractures aren’t enough.

The nurse leaves and Theo folds his arms on the bed beside Liam’s leg and lays his head down on them.

“I was playing that video game—the one you’re so terrible at—while we were… while we uhm. Avoided each other. And I missed you. I typed out these long messages on my phone about how stupid that all was, about ‘can we just go back to normal.’ Deleted it all and tossed the phone into the pool I was so pissed.”

He chuckles to himself thinking of what Liam would say about the fact that he just then walked out, bought a new phone and carried on with his life. “You’d have called me a brat. And that day I sure felt like one.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Theo spends the day hanging around the hospital, only stepping out to grab something to eat. Mason comes around in the evening with Corey and Theo waits for them outside after the last visitation hour upon which he goes home to study for a while.

He’s pretty exhausted after only a few pages, biology and medical lingo sound too much alike for his brain, and every second sentence reminds him of Liam. He falls asleep with his textbook on his chest. That Beep still ringing in his ear.

He misses Liam’s voice, misses the teasing pitch it gets when he’s ribbing someone, misses how rough and low his tone gets when Liam speaks only to him. He misses Liam’s smile and his blue eyes and his jokes.

And he regrets not ever telling him these things.

 

Day three, they’re still busy with Liam’s medicine and redressing wounds when Theo arrives. He gets a good look at just how large the cut on his cheekbone is, aside from it protruding because of the swelling, it’s dark and deep and crusted with blood and held together with thin black stitches.

Theo watches the nurses lift Liam’s limp arms one by one to fold the fresh sheet over his middle, then lay them back down at his sides. Another nurse wipes his face down with what he hopes is a warm cloth, and another carefully lifts his head so they can swap out the pillows. All while he is asleep and his body slack.

Theo's chest clenches painfully and watching makes it hard to swallow or breathe. He brought a book today, he was going to read Liam this book, and now he can’t breathe.

“Here honey.” says a nurse and smiles up at him. It’s a small, tight smile.

He looks down at the tissues she handed him and has to leave the room to collect himself.

Outside in the hallway, the wall is cold against his skin and grounds him back to Liam, to the fact that Liam needs him now, requires him to be strong even if he’s scared and unsure of what is to come.

He wipes his face with the tissues, and the nurses leave the room. It’s serene and calm when he enters again, the early morning light creeping in alongside the edges of the light blue hospital-issue curtains.

As usual, Liam’s hands are cold, so he takes a few minutes to hold each of them between his own. He rubs over the callused skin that Liam made him feel that one time on the fire escape.

When Liam’s hands are warmer, he tucks them under the corner of the sheet again.

He doesn’t check the file today for Doctor Moodley’s notes. Mason would have told him if anything had taken a bad turn overnight and today he doesn't want to be disappointed when reading “unchanged.” 

Today he just wants to read to Liam.

Sitting close to the bedside, he opens the book at a random page—starting at the beginning just seems so ordinary, so commonplace, and Liam is  anything but that—and clears his throat.

“I have often thought that with any luck at all I could have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both my hands are the same length, but I have had to be content with what I had.”  

Theo laughs, then quickly looks at Liam as if he’d startle, “Werewolves huh. Imagine.”

 

By day five he starts to feel the strain of it. He gets angry at the lack of response, at how quiet the room is, at the resting heart rate that taunts him, at the fact that Liam can’t speak. 

He’s not angry at Liam but at the person who put him here. He’s mad at the guy who thought putting a kneecap to someone else’s face was okay. He’s pissed because there was no one to press charges and this asshole is most likely walking around a free man by now, bearing no consequences.

While waiting for the next round of visits, Theo pulls out his phone, dials Stiles’ number.

_ “Ey! Where’ve you been?? You know you have friends right? That you just abandoned, like—” _

“Liam got hurt. Been at the hospital.”

_ “Oh, shit man, what happened?” _

“Kind of why I called. Can you call in a favor with your dad?”

_ “Sure thing. What do you want?” _

“Need the names of anyone brought in for assault and battery charges last Friday night.”

_ “He got beat up huh? Guy’s got a real attitude, I’m not surprised.” _

“Stiles,” he snarls into the phone, “Liam is in a _coma_. They had to put him in a fucking coma because his brain is swollen in his skull.”

_ “Jesus, I—” _

“They don’t know if he’ll… if the damage—” his voice cracks, so he shuts up.

_“I’m sorry,”_ says Stiles, that sharp edge of his voice now gone. _“I’m sorry okay. I didn’t know.”_

“I just wanna find the guy who did it. Was downtown so he would have been taken to one of your dad’s precincts.”

_ “Yeah. Yeah of course. I’ll phone you back.” _

 

He still returns every day to the same scene: Liam lying still and pale in the hospital bed, his gorgeous face battered beyond repair. And each time it’s as much of a shock as the first time he saw the extent of the injuries.

“Theo!” says a friendly voice when he enters Liam’s room the next day. Doctor Moodley is busy with her morning examination.

“Hi, how’s he doing?” he asks not holding much hope for the answer.

Doctor Moodley looks at him over her shoulder and frowns, and for a moment he’s worried, but then she smiles, “Thought we only had one patient here?”

“What?”

“You look shocking, Theo. Haven’t been sleeping, huh?”

He blanches a little, didn’t think was showing. “Oh. Yeah. No. Kinda hard when—” he motions at the bed, and the doctor nods in understanding. “—you know.”

“Well, perhaps the fact that the swelling has gone down by twenty percent will bring some relief, hm?”

Theo sets his coffee down, “Oh god. It has??”

For the first time in days, he smiles.

“It has. Mr. Dunbar is also responding very well to the antibiotics. Infection is subsiding. All round inflammation is also subsiding. We need to keep him under for a few more days, it's best to have the swelling mostly down before he's cognizant.”

“Oh wow… I… Thank you.” He says. Keeps his voice neatly in control much to his own surprise. 

Her grin is broad when she gathers up her things, “We should thank you guys. You’re doing great with him. Mason, Corey, you. I’m a medicine woman, Theo, but I know what love can do. I’ve seen it pull many people through. He’s a lucky one.”

Then she leans in and whispers, “Don’t tell anyone I said that.” and winks at him before she leaves the room.

So, there _is_ hope.

He squeezes Liam’s ankle, “You’re gonna be fine, Red.”

  
  


Between visiting hours he texts Mason. 

_ Theo: Swelling down by 20%!!!!  _

_ Mason: I dropped the fucking pizza!!  _

_ Theo: :) :) :) _

 

Theo sits with Liam again during lunch time. He rests his arms close to Liam’s leg and just stares. Some might say it's creepy the way he watches Liam, but his heart is looking for any small sign that Liam is

 listening while his brain knows there won't be one.

But staring like this he can definitely see a slight change in the color of the bruising. It's beginning to green around the edges, the center is still a dark, angry blue-purple but somewhere underneath things are healing. He looks less puffy too.

“You know. My sister gave our little brother a black eye once. We were roughhousing around on the trampoline, and my mom kept telling us—kept telling Tara, because she’s the oldest—to cool it ‘coz someone’s gonna get hurt… We didn’t listen, obviously, and she ended up jabbing her elbow right into his face—” Theo snorts, “God it was blue. Like proper, there was no way we could get away with it. But Tara, man, she’s always got a fucking plan. So she dragged Troy upstairs to my mom’s room, and she started putting this beige looking, sticky makeup on his face, around his eye. And it fucking covered it up!!

So, we went back downstairs, and we thought cool, we’ve gotten away with it, mom will never know. But then she started dishing our lunch, and she smacked Tara’s plate down in front of her and says, ‘The next time you try to hide a bruise, maybe do the whole face, hm?’ and we looked over at Troy in the bright kitchen light—” Theo laughs now, reliving the memory, “—and half his face was like super pale where Tara put the makeup!! And the rest was tanned! He looked almost like a panda!”

While he’s laughing, there’s a sudden staccato pitch in the Beep. He jerks his head to it and sees the line drop from a spike back into its steady tune.

“Liam…” he whispers and takes Liam’s hand, “You heard me…”

No response follows that. Liam is stock-still, his expression slack and peaceful. He wishes Liam would just squeeze his hand so that he knows it wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe then Theo can start hoping that things are okay in Liam’s brain, and this heaviness he carries around, this worry for Liam, can dissipate some.

He goes back to watching Liam again. And he’s probably the only person in the world who thinks that Liam’s swollen, beat up and bruised face is as beautiful as it always is. He’s still mesmerized by this guy, the starkness of him still captures every bit of Theo’s attention. Even like this.

He closes his eyes and fights back the urge to cry, reaches his hand up and places it flat over Liam’s heart, where he can feel the heartbeat just as it reflects on the monitor.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

He strokes the underside of Liam’s peck with his thumb, “Don’t leave me, Red.” he tells Liam softly.

Softly enough to hear the second uptick on the monitor clearly.

Followed by another just when his head snaps up.

Theo laughs and cries all at once, unstoppable tears bubble from his eyes, and he becomes a bit of a snotty, smiling mess.

He sniffs and hugs Liam’s leg close to him, “Okay buddy. Okay. Gotcha.” and proceeds to cry into the blanket until he falls asleep there.

At least in his dream, there are no cracks or broken parts.  

 

Theo’s phone chimes in his pocket, and he startles awake, still next to Liam’s bed and way past visiting hours. He fumbles with the phone in the deep pocket of his jeans and pulls it free. Stiles.

He silences the call and shoots up, leaving a quick kiss on Liam’s forehead before he heads out. On the way, he apologizes to the nurses at the front desk for his overstay. They shoot him a heatless, arched eyebrow and a look that makes him flush warm even in the cold air outside. He’s sure they think he’s helplessly in love with Liam: a devoted lover, wasting away at his sweetheart’s bedside.

Which would be hilarious if it wasn’t so true. Except for the ‘lover’ part.

He misses Stiles’ call and dials him right back.  

_“What,”_ Stiles answers chirpy and chewing on something.

“Asshole. Did you get me the name?”

_ “This dude covers tracks like snow in the Alps. Had to pull a fuck load of strings to get this.” _

He’s always so goddamn dramatic.

_ “You won’t fucking believe it, dude.” _

“God. Stiles, just tell me.”

_ “You sure this was last Friday night? Downtown?” _

“Yeah man.”

_ “There was only one assault and battery case brought in. One Gabriel Monroe.” _

“Monroe?!”

_ “Yep. Governor Tamora Monroe’s son. Well, like adopted, but still. Goes by Gabe.” _

“Holy shit.” Theo knows this guy. He’s seen him on Instagram, on some of these ridiculous trash T.V shows about the rich and famous. One of the many socialites who flounder around doing absolutely nothing but look pretty and cause chaos. Theo’s always thought he looked like a total cunt.

Confirmed, apparently.

_ “Yeah, so anyway, that’s why he was so hard to track down. Mommy covered up real nice. My dad knows a guy down where they house solved files—solved my ass buddy, more like paid off cases—anyway. Has a deal with him that any high profiles that end up there get put aside with a holding fee if you will… and here we go!” _

“Jesus. Okay. Uhm, thanks, dude. For the trouble… I owe you, man.”

_ “What’re you gonna do now?” _

Theo takes a deep breath in, rubs his neck, “I don’t know. Shit. I don’t know…”

Stiles’ voice is quiet when he next speaks, _“I uhm… the report said the perp was uh, he was covered in the victim’s blood, highly inebriated, and at the time of questioning didn’t know if…”_

Theo feels nauseous, “Didn’t know what?”

Stiles clears his throat, _“...If the victim was alive. He didn't… fuck sake. Theo. Is Liam okay?”_

His voice gets stuck in his throat again, but he tries to remember that this was a good day, Liam’s condition has improved; the swelling has gone down; Liam responded to him. This has been a good day despite him now wanting to burn the world down to find this guy and make him eat its ashes.

“I think he’s getting better, yeah.” _He has to be okay, or I won’t be_ , is what Theo doesn’t say.

_ “You call me if you need help taking this fucker down. Just uhm. You know… Watch yourself.” _

Theo smiles, “You worried about me, Stilinski?”

_“Good day, sir."_ Stiles says promptly and hangs up.

 

The crisp, late November air has Theo almost dizzy when he hangs up, upon which he realizes he hasn’t eaten all day and is now starving.

He skims over some test material for his final exam over a coffee and a cream cheese bagel, trying to memorize the list of bioactive drugs found in sea life. Which only works when you're able to dedicate 100% of your brain power to the task.

There's an annoying corner in his brain flitting around in his skull screaming at him to look up Gabe's profile. He wants to see the dickhead responsible for Liam's injuries. Why he wants this, he doesn't know. If he's honest, he doesn't even know if it is fair to want to throw down with the guy. 

Liam has a history. He's done this before, picked fights; antagonized to the point of contact. Theo is not so sure those exact things didn't happen this time.

In fact, he doesn't know what the hell happened. Perhaps this guy would be open to talking. Maybe Theo'd get his face smashed in too. Either way, he owes it to Liam to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The piece Theo reads to Liam is from Shirley Jackson's "We have always lived in the castle"


	13. Smart Mouth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for mild descriptions of injuries, Liam's recollection of the attack and mentions of vomiting. Very brief, not graphic. 
> 
> This one is a little shorter than usual, sorry guys. I couldn't fit it with any other chapter without making those too long.

“Where is he??”  
  
Theo spins around in the entrance of Liam’s hospital room that is now empty, the bed neatly made.  
  
His heart thuds to an unusual beat in his chest and his mind goes white with panic.  
  
The nurse raises both her hands and he realizes he must look terribly alarmed. “It’s alright sir. Mr. Dunbar has been moved to a general ward. That’s all.”  
  
“Oh.” is what he says before is brain registers this as a positive thing. “A general ward? Because he’s—”  
  
“The swelling has reduced significantly. A total of 84% in only two weeks. It’s remarkable, really.”  
  
Theo’s heart now beats with a different type of anticipation. “Is he awake??”  
  
“Not yet, but sedatives have been stopped as of this morning. He’s just sleeping it off now.” Her mouth quirks up in a warm grin, “Only a matter of time. Gen Ward B3. Go on.”  
  
His cheeks actually hurt from the splitting grin he’s wearing as he runs down the hall, the soles of his boat shoes squeaking embarrassingly on the linoleum floors, but he doesn’t care. Liam’s waking up!  
  
Around the corner, he crashes into Mason and Corey who wear equally bright expressions.  
  
“He’s waking up today,” says Corey, quiet but excited while holding Mason’s hand.   
  
“You need me to cover at Gino’s while you wait?” Theo asks Mason, he knows the strain they’re under at the moment with Liam being off and Mason having to cover for him so that they’re able to make rent, as well as having picked up double shifts at his own part-time job. Hell, he’d probably help if he knew the first thing about pizzas or college radio stations.  
  
Mason shakes his head, “Gino told me to go. It’s quiet. He’s worried too.”  


  
They sit in the waiting room for a long while. The nurse said someone will call for them once Liam starts showing signs of consciousness. Until then waiting is all they can do. Corey is bent over a sketch pad, Mason and Theo both brought their textbooks upon which Theo realizes that aside from the two jobs Mason is currently juggling, he is also preparing for his finals come end November.  
  
When Corey goes to get them some coffee, Theo turns to Mason beside him, “Hey, uhm, are you guys coping? You know, with him being in here and…”  
  
Mason sighs and flops his head down on Theo’s shoulder. It makes him smile. “Yeah.” Says Mason, “Corey’s moving in with us. We’ve been meaning to do it. Spends so much time at my place he might as well, you know?”  
  
“That’s a good thing, right?”  
  
“It is. It is. Sorry, just tired man.”  
  
Theo rests his head on top of Mason’s, “I know it’s hectic. You’re an amazing friend, Mason. Liam’s really lucky to have you.”  
  
Mason’s head tilts up, and he smiles a tired smile, “He’s lucky to have you too.”  
  
“Mr. Hewitt?”  
  
A small nurse from the reception desk beckons him toward her, and he follows. It’s not toward Liam’s room but to the front desk, so Theo stays put. At the counter, she opens a blue file and slides it toward Mason, points to two places on the paper and Theo watches Mason’s shoulders drop.  
  
She explains something that Theo is sure Mason is not even hearing, but he nods nevertheless. Theo thinks he’s gone a little pale too as he stares blankly at the file.  
  
He hopes it’s nothing to do with Liam’s condition or test results and assumes if it were, Mason would be in much more of a state than this. He hopes.  
  
By the time they’re done another nurse is also calling them back to Liam’s room. Corey follows Mason, but Theo makes a quick stop at the front desk and peeps at the file the nurse had left open while attending to a phone call.  
  
It’s an invoice, with Liam and Mason’s address at the top, a steady list of procedures and supplies and lastly, but most noticeably, an even healthier outstanding balance that was not covered by Liam’s insurance.  
  
“Jesus,” he mutters to himself.  
  
There is no way that Liam and Mason can afford this kind of money unless they both work two jobs, full time, seven days a week. And it’s not even the end of his stay.  
  
Theo slips the piece of paper from the file, folds it hastily and shoves it in his back pocket and oh god this is stealing hospital property, isn’t it? Sort of. Maybe? Probably.  
  
“Theo?”  
  
“Coming!”

  
  
The room is as quiet as the other one, pale blue curtains, crisp white bedding pulled neatly over Liam’s middle and his arms placed limp along his sides. He’s slightly more elevated this time, his hair still a red mess against the white sheets. Theo itches to wash it.

Liam’s eyes open blearily, flutters like it’s the last thing they want to do. The one eye is still swollen and colored bluish-green and his cheek and lip and jaw equally so. His head lolls from side to side on the pillow, and “Nhg.” is all he says.

Theo smiles and looks to Mason to break the greeting since Liam doesn’t seem to register any of them beside the bed.

“Hey bud…” Mason says very quietly, very measured, and waits for Liam to lift his head.

When he does, he flinches and squints at Mason. “What.”

“You’re in hospital Li, been out for a while.”

Theo’s heart is pounding in his chest. No one is asking the dreaded question, no one is brave enough, he thinks. ‘Do you know me’ just sounds like such a ridiculous thing to ask someone you so undoubtedly know. It is a frightening thing to ask, too, for what the answer may be.

Yet, behind them, a nurse with Liam’s file and the neurologist with his hands in his pockets are waiting.

Mason takes Liam’s hand and his face his something awful worried, but behind his eyes, there’s deep affection, “Do you know me?”

Liam frowns, shakes his head and Theo’s heart drops, then Liam croaks, “Gonna puke—” and Corey dives forward with a pan just in time. He retches a few times, and Theo helps Mason get him upright enough so he doesn’t mess or choke.

His back feels a little bonier than usual, Theo notes while he rubs soothingly up and down Liam’s spine and wonders if that head shake meant he doesn’t remember; if this is the memory loss the doctor was talking about. Oh god. Will it be permanent? Temporary? How long?

His stomach is left hollow and twisted at the thought.

They don’t get an answer to that question because the moment Liam is finished and lies back down, he passes out again.

The neurologist leans down and whispers something into the nurse’s ear, and she gives a curt nod.

When the doctor leaves the room, she says to them, “It’ll take a while for him to come around.” and she must see the despair on their faces, the uncertainty that begs for any kind of answer.

“It is an excellent sign that he is able to communicate the way he did,” she says and takes the pan from Corey. “We will be back to monitor once he comes too again.”

 

Liam doesn’t wake again for another hour and a half. The staff is gracious and allows them to sit with him and watch his breathing rise and fall- fortunately now without supporting oxygen. Which Theo thinks is good, means he’s breathing on his own. His heart monitor sings the Beep Beep tune that Theo is at least familiar with.

“Liam?” Theo says when Liam’s hand twitches in his own. “You with us?”

Liam looks to Mason first, and his eyes grow huge in his head, even the swollen one, and with a deep cracking voice he says, “Woah!”

Mason’s taken aback, “What?”

Corey who is equally puzzled goes to stand behind Mason, “Hey Li.”

“Woah!!” Liam says again and stares at them both, his lips try for a smile, but the cut and sedatives prevent it.

Theo aches just to see that smile. Liam still looks surprised as hell, looking back and forth between Mason and Corey.

Mason looks like he’s about to start crying and never stop, so Theo steps in, gently lays his hand on Liam’s and says, “Hey Red. Remember me?”

Liam jerks his head to Theo and there go the eyes again, “Holy _shit!!_ ”

Theo doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry about the utter amazement and blankness on Liam’s face, he’s obviously not entirely cognizant, perhaps still high on sedatives but Theo doesn’t think it’s complete lack of recognition as such, just… confusion.

“Liam,” Mason says, “Do you know where you are?”

“Yeah!” He manages more of a smile than before, looks at each of them with dopey, blinking eyes and just before they flutter closed again, he says, “Heaven.”

Mason, Corey, and Theo stare at one another.

“Is that… a good thing? What the fuck does that mean??” Mason leans down to check that Liam is really asleep.

The little nurse comes to check his vitals, and administer something into the I.V. She obviously finds something super hilarious while they are blank with worry, “I think he’s just surprised at all the handsome guys who lined up to greet him. Now scoot we need to run some tests.”

  
~  
  
“Oh my God.” Liam croaks two hours later and stares right at Theo.  
  
“Li?” Mason says and comes closer.  
  
Liam’s head snaps to Mason, and he grins all teeth, and for a second Theo thinks he knows who they are, but then Liam wiggles his eyebrows, cocks his head to Theo and goes:  
  
“He single?”  
  
Mason and Corey just about fold in half with laughter, and Theo turns bright red, doesn’t know where to look.  
  
“Well then.” says the small nurse just when Liam passes out again, “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with his eyesight then.”  
  
~

When Liam eventually regains full consciousness for longer than a few seconds, it’s late afternoon, and the sun glows almost orange through the pale curtains, pouring over Theo where he sits holding Liam’s hand, paging through his textbook.  
  
Mason and Corey are fast asleep in the two chairs in the corner.  
  
Liam’s fingers stir in Theo's hand, and when Theo looks up, he finally sees that smile he’s been missing for so long. Too long. It’s a faint rendition of Liam’s regular megawatt grin, but Theo is sure he’s never seen something as wonderful as that. Liam’s eyes, clear blue and soft, is a bonus that hits Theo right in the gut.  
  
“Hey,” Liam says so quietly, so wary. But Liam knows who he is, Theo can tell. That’s the look of a thousand words left unspoken, hundreds of apologies, a sad and lonely ‘I missed you’ too.  
  
Theo musters up his best smile as well, closes the textbook. “Hey Red.”

Liam blinks at him and licks his lips, slow and cautious over the scabbing cut on his lip. Theo notices only now that his lip ring is gone. The one in his eyebrow too. He's not going to like this.

“Feel like shit. God. Why does every single fucking thing hurt??”

“Yeah, you're in pretty bad shape, Li.”  
  
“How long was I out for?”  
  
“Almost two weeks.”  
  
Liam blinks two times fast and scrunches up his face, “Holy… what the fuck??”  
  
“Shh, it’s okay,” Theo says, still holding Liam’s hand. Does he let go now? Does he stay still and wait for Liam to pull away?  
  
“Two fucking… Jesus… Why??” Liam starts struggling and fussing with the pipes and wires and sheets, letting go of Theo’s hand and solving his conundrum for him. “I can’t fucking—two weeks—I have to go—”  
  
Mason’s awoken by Liam’s fussing and rushes over, stilling Liam’s scampering hands with his own. “Hey, buddy.”  
  
Liam sinks back against the pillow and takes a deep breath, then as if seeing Mason for the first time his face breaks out in a smile nearly as warm as the sun coming in through the window.  
  
“Mase.”  
  
“Yeah, hey.” Mason’s eyes are full of tears, and Theo has to choke back his own, Corey wipes his cheek too.  
  
Liam clears his throat, flinches like it hurts, “How bad?”  
  
“Bad. Li… you could have…” Mason shakes his head. “Thought we were gonna lose you.”  
  
“Not that easily, buddy. Not that easy.”  
  
Collectively the terrible pinch between their eyes dispel, and the room becomes roughly forty pounds of anxiety lighter because none of their worst fears came to light. They also don’t really go into detail about what an absolute hellish nightmare these last two weeks have been.  
  
Around five the staff brings in a tray of food that Liam pulls his nose up at the second it’s placed in front of him. Corey has none of it and starts feeding Liam mashed potato and gravy that doesn’t get a totally disgusted reaction but is eaten with gruff protests after each mouthful.  
  
Mason clears up the tray of leftover food, and Theo grabs the small bowl of Jell-O before he and Corey leave the room. Theo thinks they would have collected the tray there was really no need for Mason to take it out… unless he thought Theo might want to be alone with Liam for a beat.  
  
Which is insane since Theo doesn’t have the slightest clue what to say to the person he very obviously is in love with and almost lost. Because he’s a total idiot, a wounded one at that.  
  
He settles on the notion that this is not about them, or his feelings or what happened between them weeks ago.  
  
Liam’s head is tilted toward him when he looks back from the door, his eyes soft and questioning. “You can’t eat the patient’s food,” Liam says croaky and dry.  
  
“Not for me.” He says and scoops some up, “Carbs and all, you know.”  
  
At least that makes Liam smile again. He actually lets Theo feed him spoons full of green Jell-O and doesn’t put up half the fuss he did between bites of mashed potato.  
  
“I’m sorry I made you worry. All of you,” says Liam when the bowl is empty.  
  
Theo inhales, “What happened Li? That night, what the hell happened?”  
  
Liam licks his lips and takes a sip of water, his hands are still shaky from the meds leaving his system, so Theo holds the glass for him, sets it and himself back down when Liam is finished.  
  
“I don’t know man. I was leaving the club, wanted to go home. Wasn’t even drunk. And, I don’t know, this huge guy pulled me into the street and—he was obviously on some shit ‘coz his eyes were just wild—and he started talking smack about me not belonging there, being trash, ‘people like me’… All that tired old shit.”  
  
Theo sees in seven different shades of hellfire red. He thinks he might pass out.  
  
Liam continues, “I remember I was on my knees, trying to breathe, bleeding down my shirt, and he grabbed me by the hair and just… just plowed his fucking knee into my face.”  
  
“Jesus Liam… so he just stopped?”  
  
Liam looks out of the window like he's thinking, “I don’t know, he was sitting on top of me, I think someone came out. I remember a man calling, yelling, asking what the hell’s going on. Don’t remember much after that.”  
  
Theo looks down and swallows back the blooming rage in his chest. “He nearly killed you just ‘coz you’re not like him.”   
  
“Hey,” Liam’s hand finds Theo's, “I’m sorry. I'm still here.”

_But you almost weren't. You could have died. Could have been taken from me before I had a chance to tell you how my life has started revolving around you… how I judge every shade of red by the color of your hair, every blue by the shade of your eyes. How I don't even know what I did before you came along. You were almost gone from me, and I never told you..._  
  
“You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing.” _And I’m going to make this right, I swear._  
  
“Y'all thought I started it, didn’t you?” Liam says with a lazy, sloped grin and his eyes now closed, voice tired and thick.

He's so gorgeous, it makes Theo's heart feel weird. Above all else, he's overcome with joy that Liam is okay and he gets to see that cocky smile for as long as Liam will let him. He’s going to do every damn thing in his power to put that smile on his face every day.  
  
Theo gets to his feet and pulls the covers up to Liam’s chest, tucks the corners of the sheet over his cold hands, and leans down to kiss his forehead.  
  
“Don’t be a smart mouth.” He whispers against Liam's temple, and Liam huffs out a laugh before drifting off again.

 


	14. of assholes and not-spies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Theo go on an adventure! I went a little wild with Theo’s revenge lol, hope you guys don’t mind too much for the slight diversions. This wasn't part of the story initially but plot bunnies came along and made a home. Regular programming to resume shortly.  
> There is some soft Thiam for you at the end too. Coz I'm nice like that.

Since his sister is the only other person he knows who gets as mad as he does about injustice, he calls Tara on his way home after leaving Liam peacefully asleep at the hospital.

_ “Who died?” _ she asks abruptly when she answers the phone. Jesus. Perhaps he should introduce Tara to Stiles if not for anything more than their crude telephone etiquette.

“Jeez!? Hi baby brother. How are you? Haven’t heard from you in a while, I miss you. Oh, hi Tara, yeah I’m great sis, thanks for asking—”

He can practically hear the eye roll on the other side of the line.  _ “Are you quite done, Theodore?” _

“Ug, don’t call me that dude.”

And now she’s laughing,  _ “How’s it going baby bro?” _

Her voice sends soft comfort across the line. He’s missed her. “Eh. Fine I guess. You?”

Tara takes a beat to answer him, and he hears her yell  _ “Again!” _ Muffled, like the phone is pressed into her body, _ “—Yeah. Good. Busy. You buy your tickets for December yet? We’re seeing you right?” _

“Not yet…” There are too many things on this side he’ll have to even out: Will Liam be okay by then, will he need help getting around, what’s he doing for Christmas, when will he see Liam if he leaves to go see his family—okay, so there is one thing that might anchor him to California these holidays.

_ “—and then they’ll be sold out, and you would have to take a godforsaken train up here Theo, and you—” _

“Excuse me, I’m perfectly capable of taking a train to Aspen.”

_ “You’re really not.” _

Again, in the background wherever Tara is, there are men’s voices and grunts, and thuds that echo in what sounds like an empty room. The hell?

“Anyway…” Theo says suspiciously, “I need help.”

_ “Well, you’re shit outta luck baby bro, I’m in Moscow.” _

“Why… what? Why are you in Russia?! Tara?! Does mom know?”

_ “Hm,”  _ there’s a rustle and the sound of metal on metal followed by a shout of exertion,  _ “Training.” _ She then says, calm and collected.

“Okay… That’s fine I don’t mean… I just need advice.”

_ “That I can do. Shoot.”  _

He thinks for a moment about how to phase his question without sounding, well, like a psycho.

“Well—and don't think I'm weird but—how do you hurt someone without physically hurting them?”

_ “In their weak spot,”  _ Tara answers way too quickly 

In the background, Theo hears loud thumps, a man shouting something in Russian and… knives? The clinking sound of blades, yes.

“What. Where are you?” 

_ “At work. Why?” _

“Yeah Tara, and what exactly do you do for a living?? You've never…”

There's a beat of silence, a quick escape of breath and something heavy thudding down on the floor.

_ “Told you. Contact work,”  _ she says, breathless.  _ “So whose weak spot do you wanna hurt?” _

Theo is sure she's into some shady shit the way she's always so damn secretive. But he has his own mission to focus on, and there is no time to unpack Tara's elusiveness. 

“A guy beat up one of my friends pretty badly. Dude’s the son of a high ranking government official.”

_ “Woah there baby bro, this is some serious shit. What are you planning to do? You know these guys don’t operate accordingly to regs right?” _

“I know that. Tara, Liam could have died that’s how bad… and this dick posted selfies on an inflatable pool flamingo twelve hours after the attack… I mean.”

Of course, Tara only hears what she wants to hear.

_ “Oooh! Liam?” _

“Tara.”

_ “Okay! Okay. The thing with high-up’s, especially young ones, is that they’re stupid. They think money’s gonna cover all their tracks. And most often it does, because they’ve got deep pockets and officials look the other way. Just watch him, he’ll fuck up if he’s guilty. But Theo…” _

“Yeah?”

_ “Be careful. They’re stupid, but they are ruthless. This might not be something you wanna get caught up in, okay?” _

“Jeez Tara, I’m looking for maybe a traffic violation or two, not where he could have potentially hidden a body.”

_ “Well. If you need any help hiding a body, give me a call.”  _ Tara says flatly.

“What?!”

_ “Stay safe! Love you, bye!” _

She is definitely involved in shady business, and he’ll perhaps figure that out over the holidays if he ends up going to Aspen, but for now, he needs to talk to Stiles. If there’s ever a partner to have for a stakeout, it’s the Chief of Police’s son.

* * *

 

Theo pulls up at Stiles’ house just before eight the next morning. The wind has that tell-tale winter bite to it, and they’ve chosen a particularly rainy day to go about their I business.

“Get in loser we’re going on a stakeout!” he calls from the car window and laughs when Stiles makes a face at him.

“Oh my god. I am not partnering up with you if you’re quoting Mean Girls at me right off the bat.”

“I got coffee.”

Stiles gets in, rubs his hands together and heads straight for his hot coffee planted in the cupholders against the dash.

“Yeah, you’re alright.” He takes a sip, “Gimme your phone.” Theo does, and Stiles types the address he must have obtained from Gabe’s arrest file, into his maps function. It points them north, toward the beach properties.

After a few minutes of silence, Stiles turns to him, “What are we looking for anyway.”

Theo just wants to see what a person who beats another human being half to death, does all day. He’s not even sure he’ll find anything worthwhile, or that it will make a big enough difference. 

“Something to nail the guy with if we’re lucky, I don’t know Stiles. I just… I hate that Liam suffered, is suffering like this, because of this piece of shit... Just feels like I gotta do something, you know?”

Stiles nods, “How, uhm, how is he?” 

“Alive,” Theo says and briefly turns his head to Stiles. “He’s not the kind of guy you thought he was, Stiles.”

“I know. Well, I know that now.” he sighs, “I was a dick. I’m sorry.”

“I think he’d appreciate hearing that one day.” 

“Yeah maybe by then I’d have the balls to say it, huh.” 

Theo rolls his eyes, keeps driving until the navigation system leads them to a cul de sac. He doesn't want to get too close, so he parks beside an overgrown hedge just off the side of the road, still on the uphill so that Gabe’s house is clearly visible.  

He kills the engine the two of them sit back and nurse their coffees. The street outside is still devoid of life, and the rain patters down on the windshield as their breaths mist up the windows. 

“Are things serious with you and Liam?” Stiles asks eventually. 

Theo’s not sure what the right answer is to that. In a way that is deeply personal and heartfelt to him, sure, it’s really serious; he loves the dude. Loves him very much and if it came down to something as dramatic as taking a bullet for Liam, dying for him—then he wouldn’t even hesitate. 

On the other hand, things are also not serious in that Liam doesn’t want what Theo does, doesn’t share this inordinate attraction, or perhaps he does, but he’s not ready for what follows. And for that exact reason is as serious as it is not serious. 

And there is no possible way of saying that without sounding bonkers.

“Uhm. Yeah. I mean, we’re good friends, we’ve gotten close.”

“Just friends?” Stiles asks in such a way that Theo doesn’t even have to look at him to know that judgy, arched up eyebrow look is plastered all over his face.

“For now, yeah. Just friends,” he says resolutely enough.

To his relief, and before he’s placed under any further scrutiny, Stiles just about shrieks.

“Look, look look!” pointing to Gabe’s balcony. 

The guy steps outside and puffs out a big white cloud of smoke, that seems far thicker than regular cigarette smoke but what the hell does he know. Gabe continues to stand there, picking at something on the knuckles of his right hand. Theo wonders if it is scabbing from his attack on Liam, his cuts would have scabbed over same as Liam’s by now.

He notices how tall and broad-shouldered he is, although he’s slim he is muscular and built pretty firmly. Theo thinks how small Liam would be when placed beside the guy, the advantages he had on Liam, and it makes Theo’s blood come to an uncomfortable boil in his veins once more. 

A minute or so later Gabe retreats into the house and doesn’t emerge again for another hour.  

He eventually leaves at about nine. He first goes for a run around the block, heads back home to get his car--a really fucking nice ‘68 Camaro that he very obviously doesn't deserve--and stops at a dingy little coffee shop opposite a fully functioning Starbucks and comes out with one coffee and a white paper bag, heavy looking and folded at the top.

“Guy eats like a fucking horse, what’s in there??”

“Cake.”

“A whole cake??”

“...he’s hungry?”

Next, at exactly 10a.m, Gabe parks his car in front of the Governor’s Office—in a handicap zone, this asshole—and heads inside with said paper bag.

“Aw, he got his mommy breakfast.”

“Just the one coffee?”

“Maybe she drinks tea.”

He’s not in there for long, and they don’t see where he goes after he disappears from the lobby, but when he comes back out, he’s carting two black garment bags over his shoulder. He proceeds to drop one garment bag off at a laundromat about fifteen miles away from the office and the second at another laundromat couple miles east of the first.

“Two laundromats?”

“One for her suits one for the dresses?”

“That how it works?”

“Dude, I don’t know.”

Gabe goes home after this, and they don’t see him again for the rest of the day. 

This goes on for three days and it seems all this dude does is run errands for his mom, getting her breakfast, apparently, and dropping off her laundry.  

For three days the only crime they see him commit is parking his damn car in the handicap zone, which Theo has taken a picture of but feels kind of stupid about.

“This was a dumbass idea. Let’s go home.” Theo says and sits up straight from where he was slumped down in the passenger seat of Stiles’ car, across the street from the Governor's office. 

Stiles, however, doesn’t move. He has a far away, pensive look on his face and Theo wonders what the hell is brewing in his busy little brain.

“Dude,” Theo smacks Stiles’ thigh, “Come on. There’s nothing—”

“Who picks up the laundry?” Stiles interrupts Theo but still stares out the window to the street ahead.

Theo frowns, “What?”

Stiles then abruptly turns to him, hands flying, “He drops off the laundry, to be… laundered? Or whatever, but who collects it?? We see him with the same garment bags every day, right, but he doesn’t leave the house to pick it up.”

“Well, I mean maybe she does? His mom.”

Stiles pulls a face at him, “Oh come on. Since when.” Then he flings himself back toward the steering wheel and says, “We got work to do!”

His friend’s idea of work is more intricate than microscopic organism research, and Theo would rather be studying that than be holed up in Stiles’ bedroom if he’s honest. If he’s frank, he’d rather be sitting beside Liam’s bed, holding his hand.

Stiles has got his whiteboard out, and there are magnets and red strings and scribbles in different color markers. Stiles has gone berserk.

He has drawn a squiggly house in the far-left corner of the board. In the square he writes “Coffee.” and proceeds to draw out Gabe’s daily route: Coffee shop, Governor’s office, Laundromat 1, Laundromat 2 and finally Gabe’s house.

“What the fuck are you doing??” Theo asks as he spins around and around in the swivel chair at Stiles’ desk.

Stiles is tapping the red marker against his chin, “Think I’m on to something.”

“Yeah, a mental break.”

He gets a heated and soon forgotten glare for that, “This dude—all these dudes” Stiles says and draws a long red line to connect all the pictures “—are hiding something. I just know it.”

“Stiles come on. Just because no one picks up the laundry? Maybe they have it delivered, shit, we have stuff delivered all the time.” Theo gets up, “Hey, it’s fine, look I just wanted some dirt on the guy, but illegal parking’s hardly gonna knock him back. Don’t even know what I was gonna do with that dirt once I got it.”

“What if it’s trafficking.”

Theo does a double take, blinks a few times fast. “Come again?”

“Drug trafficking. Really badly orchestrated, small scale drug trafficking. Really small. But I’ve seen the bigger versions of it with my dad which follows this same pattern, same suspicious behaviors…”

“Except it’s not suspicious at all…”

“Exactly! Perfect cover, right?”

Theo doesn’t move, “How will we know for sure?”

“My dad always says if they’re really guilty, eventually they make a mistake. They always make a mistake.”

That is precisely what Tara said. Perhaps Stiles is really on to something here.

“So, we keep watching?”

Stiles reels his head back as if that is just the most insane question he’s ever been asked, then throws his hands up, “Well yeah!!”

And because Theo thinks, what are the chances, and also because Stiles can be scarily persistent, he agrees.

 

* * *

 

There are bits of missing information that they need to slot in place before they can do anything about it. What is in the white food bag from the coffee shop? What’s in the garment bags that miraculously appear back at the Govender’s office day after day? Do they return empty or with something inside? What is the ‘something’ that could be inside?

“Hear me out,” says Stiles. “The coffee shop’s the starting point. My dad always says it goes around in a perfect circle, that’s how you know it’s organized. So he gets coffee in the morning presumably and then takes it to mommy dearest, I’m betting it’s cash in that takeout bag. I’m betting,” he continues,” the coffee shop is both collection point and the collectors.”

Theo nods, “The laundromats somehow get the drug revenue of the day to the coffee shop, small amounts, right? He can’t carry an ass-load at once,”

“Right. Right. So, he takes the dirty cash back to the office, and I’m assuming it gets reintroduced into the system and paid out as a salary, or commission, or whatever these fuckers can shadow it as.”

“So, it looks legit.”

“Yeah.”

They’re sitting outside the Govender’s office again, having just watched Gabe get his coffee and ‘take out,’ now on his way to deliver it to his mother. He slouches inside like a real asshole and Theo’s about to get annoyed with it when he sees a large man a few meters back in the side mirror. He’s wearing all black and is walking around to the back of the building, the two black garment bags slung over his shoulder.

“Stiles go round back! Quick!” Theo says, and Stiles almost chokes on his coffee but gets with the plan real fast.

“What is it??” he asks taking a dangerous corner.

“Spotted our garment bags!”

“No shit!”

Stiles parks the car off near some rickety fence on the far side of the lot, there are so many cars already that even if someone sees them, they won't look suspicious.

They also get there just in time to see the big muscly guy tap a stun baton (holy shit) on a large, steel elevator door.

“There’s only a down button on that thing,” Theo notes.

Stiles grins so wide Theo is worried his face might tear, “Uh huh. I got a theory. Goddamnit, I got a theory!”

“Shhh!”

They watch Bulky Delivery Boy hand the garment bags over to a scrawny kid with Justin Bieber hair, who nervously scans the lot before accepting the bags—both Theo and Stiles slide down in their seats which is acting hugely more suspicious that just sitting in the damn car but they’re not spies, sue them.

Bieber checks the side of the building then pulls the bags inside, and the doors slide closed leaving the Bulky Delivery Boy to stomp back the way he came.

“They make the fucking shit in here, they’ve got a traphouse underground! That's why the thing only goes down, and Beef Boy delivers the bags in the back.” Stiles rubs his face to compose himself. Theo doesn’t blame him; this is all super exhilarating. 

“They’re fast too, he’s never in there long. So they stock up the bags, get it upstairs and boom. If someone were watching it wouldn’t look weird, it's just laundry.”

“Coz they didn’t bank on someone watching both sides. Amatures.” Stiles says, and instinctively they both reach for a fist bump. “Told you they always make a mistake.”

When they leave, about fifteen minutes later, they make it to the front of the building in time to see Gabe come out with those two black garment bags again. Even though they are one hundred percent sure where he’s headed they follow him anyway and watch him drop the bags at the respective laundromats.

“Are we taking this to your dad now or what?” Theo asks once they're parked outside laundromat no.2.

Stiles tips his head one way then the other and says, “Hmm. Not yet.”

“What do you mean not—”

“We can’t just… Ug, Theo, we gotta know for sure what’s in those bags. He won’t believe us any other way.”

It’s the moment Theo rolls his eyes and looks away from Stiles that he catches sight of Gabe standing at the entrance of the laundromat, staring right at them.

“Oh my fucking—kiss me!!”

“Excuse me??”

There’s no time to explain. Theo grabs Stiles by the lapels of his hoodie and crashes their mouths together. Stiles flails about and makes muffled noises like an animal stuck in a snare, so Theo pulls away by only an inch. “Don’t fucking move.”

Past Stiles’ head he can see Gabe still standing there, so he slides his hand into Stiles’ hair to make it look authentic. Gabe is scrunching up his face now, leaning in a bit to better see how two men are making out in a car. What a total douche.

Stiles’ eyes are huge brown circles when he looks at him, and Theo presses his lips together tightly to keep from laughing.

“He’s watching.” Theo explains, “Figured he’s not gonna make anything of two dudes groping in a car.”

“So you kissed me!!??”

“Don’t worry. Was as awful for me as it was for you.” He says flatly while stroking the back of Stiles’ hair.

It’s bizarre.

Stiles has the decency to look offended. “Hey now. I didn’t say it was awful.”

Theo snorts, “Shut up and stay still. Gonna check if he’s still gawking.”

He’s not, to the relief of them both, so Theo pushes Stiles back into his seat.

“Oh my god, wait. Was that like your first kiss with a guy??” he asks suddenly mortified. He knows Stiles hasn’t quite figured himself out and would hate to have taken that moment from him for something as stupid as this.

“What? No! Jesus. No,” he shrugs and starts the car,  “Scott and I fool around sometimes.”

“You what now?? Thought he’s banging Lydia?”

“Oh yeah. Her too.”

Or apparently, he has figured out plenty…

“Ah,” says Theo and blushes. “Well then. That’s nice.” He stops himself short of saying congratulations. Just doesn’t seem like quite the right thing.

Stiles gets a really gross look on his face that Theo doesn’t even want to try and place. “It is.” He says and looks at Theo sidelong with droopy eyes and Theo can’t help but laugh.

He makes Stiles stop at the corner bakery where he picks up two sickly sweet, powder-dusted donuts and cappuccinos to go—like he has done every day for the last week following their stakeouts—after which Stiles drops him at the hospital just before the lunchtime visiting hours.

His heart does a stupidly excited thud when he enters the doors, and that thud reverberates down to his stomach and makes it flip happily when he walks into Liam’s room and sees him sitting up smiling. This is a new development, he was still reclined yesterday. 

He looks so much better generally too, not pale anymore or ghastly swollen. Just battered and still a faint blue color around the eye, cheek and jaw areas. The inside of his eye is, however, bloodshot and scary looking now that it's not swollen shut anymore. 

What's different too, is Liam's beard has grown out thick and dark, and his eyes pop a shocking blue in contrast. Theo loves it. 

“Oh wow got an eye on you, huh?” Theo says softly when he shuts the door behind them and brings the food tray closer. He unpacks the donut and places it in front of Liam. 

Liam takes a sip of coffee, “Thanks—Well the good news is I can see, no vision problems and what have you.”

Liam seems to thoroughly enjoy the donut.  Theo, on the other hand, is enjoying the cute white dust that has settled on the tip of Liam’s nose. He decides to let it sit there, ain’t hurting anyone. 

“I’m glad.” he says, then “Does it hurt?” 

“Only here,” Liam says and points to his head, “and here and here and here, here a little too, a lot here. Oh and here.” When he’s done pointing to every single part of his body, he scrunches up his face in a totally not-sorry smile and pops the rest of the donut in his mouth. 

“You’re an asshole,” he says in the fondest voice anyone’s ever been told off with. “Who washed your hair?” 

“Oh, nurse Lana. She’s real nice, keeps candies in her scrubs pockets.” 

Theo arches an eyebrow at him, “Nurse Lana huh, you on a first name basis now?”

“Not if you put Nurse in front of the name.” Liam winks at him with the good eye, and he laughs, they both do. Cheeks full and warm, just the two of them.

They make eye contact for all of five seconds, both with dumb smiles on their faces, then look away quickly. 

Theo wants to feel if Liam’s hands are cold, wants to makes sure they get warm, wants to rub them between his own hands like he did while Liam was asleep. He wants to tuck his tattooed hands under the corner of the blankets and kiss his forehead. But now Liam is awake, and he can’t do any of that without making things super weird again. 

They’re sipping on their coffees in silence save for the soft, static blare of the T.V, Theo’s phone vibrates in his jeans. Liam’s head lolls to him sleepily. 

He struggles for a moment to get it out and in the process, Liam with droopy eyes and a slurring tongue, tells him, “You’d get that out much faster if those jeans weren’t so tight.” like it’s really nothing, like it doesn’t make Theo’s face go all hot and stupid. 

“Yeah well.” He says, lacking anything intelligent. 

“I know. I know. Leg day.” Liam mumbles and drifts off.

He snorts quietly, watches in amazement as Liam's mouth falls open a little and his fingers go slack around the coffee cup. The meds must be kicking in, he thinks as he gently slips the cup from Liam’s hands—and yeah, they’re cold.

He places the cup down and lowers Liam’s bed just a bit so he can rest easy, then takes first his left hand into his own and holds on until it’s no longer cold. Same goes for the right, and when he’s done doing that he absolutely tucks Liam’s hands under the blankets. 

He cleans the room up and gets ready to go, but seconds before leaving he stops and turns back. 

Liam is still out for the count, his breathing slow and calm but between his eyes sits a frown that messes with this gorgeous picture of undisturbed peace, and really, the only thing he can do is kiss that exact spot. 

Theo doesn’t really expect to feel the skin ease out against his lips, nor does he expect it to feel like a sucker punch to the gut. Right in the fucking feelings, Tara would say. 

He also doesn’t expect Liam’s eyes to be open and staring at him when he pulls away but they are, and he freezes to the spot. Watches Liam’s mouth part, his eyes blink slowly then flutter closed again as of he never saw a thing.

Never in his life has he been so thankful for morphine and it’s deeply sedative effects.  God, he’s such a creep. 

 

Upon leaving the hospital, he checks his phone, and it’s Stiles.

**_Stiles:_ ** _ We have to get in there. Take a picture, won’t stand up in court (illegally obtained evidence and all) but we won’t need it if they bust the place.  _

Shit. 


	15. T.L.C

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, guys I just got around to properly editing the last 10 chapters and found the most embarrassing typos. I'm so sorry LOL.

Stiles goes in. He fucking goes in with a headcam, follows Gabe down a grimy flight of stairs, hides behind a cleaning trolley and once the garment bags are hung up and loaded, Gabe turns his back long enough for Stiles to snap a picture of about 200 packets of crystal white powder strapped to either side of the bag.

He also catches Gabe and the Bieber dude testing out the merchandise, which is really a super, added bonus.

Stiles returns flushed and breathless, grinning all sharply victorious.

Theo tries to recover from the seven heart attacks he had in the process.

 

**~**

 

Stiles drops him at the hospital still shaky and a little buzzed from the adrenaline high. He can't actually fucking believe Stiles pulled that off without being detected. It'll look great on his resume.

He's also scarily excited and terrified about Stiles going to the Chief of Police with their discovery. He can only wait to hear from him now, to see what the next move is.

When he gets to Liam's room, Mason and Corey are already there, sans Liam.

"Hey."

"Hey, bud." Mason greets, and the little endearment goes right to Theo's heart. He's gained a new friend too, now. "He's in there."

Theo looks to the closed bathroom door, "He's up? By himself?"

Mason gives him a smile so warm and happy, it could melt, "He can go home."

Theo realizes the moment Mason tells him Liam is ready to be discharged, that Mason won't be able to take care of him what with having to run two jobs and Liam will very obviously require on-hand care.

They're all standing around Liam's hospital bed, seemingly pondering this very thought when Liam returns from the bathroom, hobbling half bent forward.

He casts one glance at Liam bracing his ribs and the undeniable pinched, pained expression on his face, and says, "He should stay with me."

Their heads swivel to him at once, "Huh?" says Mason first.

"Well, I mean," he helps Liam lower himself into the chair, "You guys have to work, and I'm done with school for the year, really, only one more exam and I just gotta run up there once or twice aside from that, so…"

"He's right babe," Corey says and starts laying out some clothes they brought Liam for his discharge. "Li's gonna need help getting around, he can hardly walk right, maybe it's—"

"Yeah. Hi." Comes Liam's voice from the corner on the chair, "Li is in fact right here, nothing wrong with his hearing and he is one hundred percent capable of making his own decisions."

And Theo is thinking, _goddamnit Red, now is not the time for your perpetual stubbornness I will fight you softly,_ when he realizes Liam is apparently still speaking.

"—being alone, so yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks."

Shit.

"Sorry…I uh, what? What's nice?"

Liam looks at him like he's nuts, "Staying with you…"

"Oh!" he blurts out, not sure why he's surprised. "Oh, you… you're agreeing?"

Liam smirks, "Well, I heard someone said rich people soup is real good for recovery."

Mason pats his shoulder, "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure rich people soup, and other people's soup is the same deal."

"It's really not," Liam grumbles and starts pulling off the hospital gown.

Theo realizes much too late that there is nothing underneath said gown and spins himself full circle toward the door. "I'm getting the discharge papers!"

"Heh." He hears Liam chuckle as he leaves.

A little while later in the reception area Theo's kind of nervous watching Mason talk to the nurse, he thinks it must be about the bills, and he's not sure how much she's going to tell Mason.

He edges a little closer, just in time to hear the nurse tell Mason, "Oh sure, we'll send you any further invoices."

And Mason, confused, goes, "But uh, the current one?"

Luckily for Theo, she gets busy and just repeats, "We'll email you." with that type of smile that's basically chasing Mason off.

He doesn't know how the hell he's going to play this, perhaps he won't play it at all. Just stay silent about the payments and no one will notice. And well, fuck it if they do; they'll be mad about it and will have to come to terms with it all the same.

There is just no way he's leaving Liam and Mason responsible for bills when they have as much on their plate already, not when Theo has no such worries and is in a position to help. All Liam needs to worry about is recovering and not hurting himself. Which should be very easily accomplished form Theo's couch.

Liam's sitting in a wheelchair grumbling about how ridiculous it all is, how he can totally walk by himself, and how 'everyone's gotta stop babying him.

Well, I got news for you buddy. Theo thinks and rejoins Mason. He sneakily listens to Mason tell Corey that this hospital has some weird procedures when it comes to bills. "They'll call us." He says and shrugs.

Good, Theo thinks, he doesn't know Theo footed what Liam's already minimal insurance didn't cover, they're also not aware that he had the mailing address changed to his own so that any future bills would also come to him.

All he needs to worry about now is explaining a massive gap in his saving account to his mother and getting Liam comfortable in his apartment.

He thoroughly ignores the excited flip of his heart at the thought. Liam in his house for six weeks probably… sharing space with him, sleeping all soft and warm on his sofa, using his shower…

_Gah._

It's around noon when they are finally allowed to take him home. Mason drives them up to Theo's apartment and has to stop Liam from dragging his bags of clothes and toiletries out of the trunk.

"You can't do that.! Jesus, are you going to listen at all??" Mason asks exasperated.

"I'll take care of him, I promise. Nothing but potatoing for at least two weeks." Theo says as reassurance, ignores Liam's eye roll.

Mason shakes his head and goes to hug Liam, "Try. Okay? Just try and heal up. We need you."

"God Mase, I'm not dead yeah? Got some cracked bones and split lips—Cor, you're gonna have to redo this lip ring dude—"

Corey smiles, "When you're good and ready bro."

"Stop stressing Mase. I'm fine. I'll be fine." And then his gaze falls hot on Theo, "And if I'm not, then this thousand-pound beef house will take care of it."

Theo changes color and laughs, falling short of anything better to do.

"I mean, yeah," he says dumbly and catches Mason's smirk when he gets in the car.

"Have fun boys!" he calls as Corey drives off.

"You too! Call Scott if you need help moving," he calls back, "He doesn't have that huge truck for no reason!"

Mason throws a peace sign out the window and then they're driving out of sight. It's just him and Liam now.

Liam grins at him.

"Come on. I'll show you to your room, get your stuff unpacked and then it's time for your meds, I think." Theo hauls up his bags and lets Liam walk in front. It looks like Liam wants to say something, but doesn't quite get around to it.

Theo is sure as hell not going to say anything first even if he thinks he knows what's troubling Liam.

The afternoon is rather relaxed despite it.

Theo fluffs out Liam's bed, helps him onto it and starts packing the clothes from his little duffle bag into the spare room closet. They make small talk here and there, Liam winces a couple of times, and Theo gets an eye roll for his concern.

They go back downstairs, and Theo starts a late lunch, makes some herbal tea, and packs out a whole string of pills Liam needs to take. Antibiotics, Cortisone, Anti-Inflammatories, hefty-looking pain meds and his own added dose of vitamins just because.

"What's this?" asks Liam and pics up the tumbler of fizzy red water.

"Magnesium." Theo tells him, frying up some butter in a pan, "For your bones."

"Hm. Thanks. Smells nice." He down the glass in one shot.

Theo notes that he hasn't gone to sit down on the couch where Theo laid out a blanket, pillow and the remote and that he is instead sitting with him at the kitchen island.

"Theo…" Liam starts, and he's got that tone to his voice that says he's about to start apologizing.

"Liam, you don't have to. I don't wanna talk about that okay? We just-we don't have to. What happened was. It's just… It's done. Okay?" he shakes his head, throat feeling tight.

"Okay. Yeah." Liam says so hoarse and low it's barely audible, and nods. Theo can't quite place the look he has before he looks down to drink the rest of his pills. Regretful maybe?

They don't talk about what happened between them again, Theo can't bring himself to do that. It still burns like a slow fading ember in his chest each time he thinks about not having Liam that way anymore, or ever again. But, reminds himself he loves him anyway, and he loves him as a friend too, which is what Liam needs right now.

Theo serves them crispy butter-fried grilled cheese and spicy tomato soup for lunch, and he's happy to see Liam gobble it up. He's just happy to watch Liam period. Thinks about how close it came to him never being able to serve Liam food at this counter ever again and his throat does the thing where he can't swallow or breathe, but it feels like he should do both.

"Hey…" Liam says and lowers his spoon, "What's going on?"

When Theo blinks, his eyes are wet. He sits up fast and brushes the tears away, "Wow. Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't…" he stops and stares at Liam, frowns, "I'm really glad you're alive, Red. I'm really fuckin' happy you're okay."

Liam's head tips to the side and his face is all empathy and worry and soft at the same time. He pushes himself off the stool and winces his way to Theo.

"Come here," he says and reaches out to wrap his arms around Theo's middle. "It's okay, big guy."

Theo doesn't try to wave it off because fuck, he needs this.

Liam just holds him where he's perched up on the counter stool, bent forward sort of awkwardly. Liam tilts his face away, so his bruised flesh doesn't press against Theo's shoulder, but his arms are tight and safe around Theo's body.

They stay that way for a while, not moving or speaking, but something slips in place between them then. It's something solid and sure and unwavering, something that makes Theo's insides feel steady where over the last few weeks he's felt fragile, breakable.

Finally, he breathes out and pulls back, "Shit, hope the soups not cold now." He sniffs coyly and sticks a finger in to feel. It's not cold.

Liam draws his bowl closer and stands beside Theo to eat; it's probably a mission getting back up on that stool. If he has to drag a couch into the kitchen for Liam then so be it, he thinks. He likes having company while he cooks. It's nice.

Side by side they watch through the sliding door as the afternoon sun drags shadows over the backyard by which time Liam starts getting woozy from the pills. Theo cleans up the plates and walks him to the couch.

He helps Liam rest back into the pillow and pulls the blanket up over him, "I'm just getting my books. Gonna study for a while, you can uh, watch t.v or sleep or whatever. I'll be here."

"Mmkay," Liam mumbles and already looks close to sleep although his eyes are still open.

Theo hesitates a bit when he's supposed to walk away, and Liam promptly reminds him why.

"So, what? I only get forehead kisses when I'm in the hospital?"

He feels his cheeks and neck go warm. Liam knows, then, about all those times he kissed him. "Uh no. No. Sorry…"

And what's he gonna do? Not kiss his damn forehead now?

He leans down behind Liam and softly presses his lips to Liam's forehead, his eyes close the second Theo's lips touch his skin. A quiet sigh escapes Liam—which Theo is sure is the most beautiful sound in all existence—and then he drifts off.

 

Theo actually gets some studying done with Liam safe and sound next to him and the knowledge that Gabe will soon pay for his actions.

It's gone dark, and he makes it halfway through his notes when Liam stirs, stretches out and puts his feet in Theo's lap.

He goes still for a second, waiting for Liam to move but he doesn't, so he wraps a hand around Liam's ankle and carries on studying.

About an hour later Liam pokes him with his toe, "I need to pee."

Theo looks to him and arches up a brow, "Well, go ahead."

"Need my leg, kind of." He says and looks adorably drowsy.

"Oh! Sorry… I'm… I didn't—"

"Theo. Shut up."

Liam swings his legs off the couch, winces and grabs his ribs because he doesn't learn, and curses his way to the guest bathroom downstairs.

"Hey, you up for some popcorn and a movie?" Theo calls and gets up to turn on the stove and coffee machine.

"Don't eat popcorn."

"What?"

Liam joins him in the kitchen, his hand stuffed in his sweater pockets and the hoodie pulled up over his head, "They get stuck in my teeth, I hate it."

Theo pours them each a cup of black coffee, stirs two sugars into Liam's and slides it over.

"I got Pringles?" he says then takes a sip from his mug, it's fucking hot goddammit. Ow.

"Yeah, that's good. Thanks."

He hands he pringles over and takes a look at Liam's face in the fluorescent kitchen light. The cuts on his lip and cheek are halfway closed up, and they look smaller now, most of the bruising has subsided into awkward yellow and red circles here and there. His eye is still bloodshot and the socket black. Theo thinks it'll take some time for that to heal up proper.

"Yeah, I know," says Liam, "Look like shit."

Theo shakes his head, a little embarrassed for staring that long, "No. No, was just thinking I should clean those up for you."

"I can manage."

"I know, but you're not supposed to lift your arms really."

"Well," Liam says, "I can lift my arms, but then I can't breathe, so…"

It makes Theo smile all the way to the medicine cabinet and back. He lets Liam sit on the couch, underneath his blanket, but turned toward him. He's holding his cup of coffee while Theo gently cleans his face with a cotton swab and some Aloe ointment. He's done this exact thing three times before, knows the ropes by now.

"Does it hurt?" he asks when he scrapes away a loose scab form the cut on his lip.

Now, the first night they met Theo asked him this same question while tending to his injuries and he said yes. It hurt.

This time Liam looks at him, and it's like a bright, warm light spills through him, and there is something deeply reverent in his eyes. He's not talking about his injuries at all.

"No." Liam says, and his mouth corner curls upward, "Not anymore."

And Theo thinks, yeah… yeah, because you're safe now. I won't let you get hurt ever again.

After Liam's all cleaned up, they watch a movie. It's something stupid and old, but it makes Liam laugh which in turn makes Theo laugh, and it's just about the best thing ever: Them sitting on the same couch in sweats and socks, with Pringles and Popcorn and a dumb movie. It's fantastic.

"Hey listen," Theo says and nudges Liam with his foot. "I have to go into school in the morning, won't be too long, I think. Will you be okay?"

Liam nods, cheek full of Pringles, "Sure. Dose me up and plant me right here, I'm good."

"I'll pick up some lunch on the way back."

"There's cash in my wallet," he mumbles and looks back to the screen.

Theo pats his leg, "That's nice to know."

"Don't fucking start with me…"

Theo repeats it but in far more jeering tone and feels a little like four-year-old. It makes Liam grin and stare at him in disbelief. Also makes him toss a broken Pringle at his head which Theo happily pops into his mouth.

Not long after that, the movie ends, and he helps Liam upstairs, slowly and carefully while he listens to him curse under his breath. Theo's kind of pissed with the person who designed this place and put all the goddamn bedrooms upstairs. How did they not anticipate he'd have a semi-broken punk rock boy who'd have to climb stairs all sleepily and in pain at 12 am? How'd that never cross the architect's mind??

 

A while later he has Liam all tucked in, a glass of water placed beside his bed, left his door slightly ajar and the hallway light on like he's a goddamn toddler and it has Liam is glaring at him with a heatless threat.

Of course, he can't sleep.

Of course, he's glancing down the hallway every two seconds even though he knows Liam would be far off in dreamland already.

He's just about to bury himself under the blankets when his phone vibrates.

 **_Stiles:_ ** _Shits going down tomorrow. My dad's only calling it in last minute since we don't know who's on the inside. Meet you on the bakery's rooftop. 9 am. Uni afterward for the papers._

Well, at least that's something. And now he really won't be able to sleep.

That's great.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Liam is up before Theo, and he only realizes this after a series of heart palpitations upon finding Liam's empty bed. Hears cups clinking together downstairs and realizes Liam's whereabouts.

He's shuffling around with his hoodie up again, his sweatpants a little too long and baggy for him, and he's fiddling with the coffee machine.

"You make it down by yourself okay?"

Liam's a bit surprised when he turns around, "Uh, yeah. Walked slowly. Up is easier than down though. Jesus cracked ribs are a bitch huh."

"It's because you stretch your torso when you go down," Theo tells him and reaches past Liam to adjust the coffee to the right setting.

"Oh. Okay, Doctor Raeken."

"Yeah speaking of which," he says while the coffee is brewing, "How's that face doing?"

Without thinking, he slides a hand along Liam's jaw, into his beard, and tilts his head to the side. By the time he comprehends what he's doing, it's too late.

Liam swallows hard and his lips open, not in protest or anything, but perhaps slightly shocked.

And well, he's there now, he's holding his goddamn face now.  Might as well see this dumb foolery of his own doing through.

_Christ Theo, it's gonna be a long fucking six weeks if you keep this up._

He clears his throat and genuinely inspects Liam's cuts and bruises, thinks better of it than to run his finger along the marrings.

"Still a little gross looking," says Liam.

"Food. Pills. Couch. That should do the trick, hm?"

So Theo fixes Liam up a quick breakfast of Muesli, Greek Yoghurt, and honey. He pours him not only a cup of coffee but also a steel flask of it that he places on the table beside the couch, easily within reach. He also leaves some cookies and fruit rolls there and fluffs out the pillow.

And yeah. That should do perfectly.

Liam's standing behind him watching with a snarky, raised brow while slowly chewing his breakfast.

"Oh, don't look at me like that!"

Liam just stands there smirking, amused, watching Theo scurry around under his gaze to get all his things together so that he can leave.

"Call me like, immediately if you need anything," he tells Liam.

His mouth is full of yogurt, "Mhm."

"Don't get hurt…" he looks around the apartment and all the potential hazards, "Don't move. Don't even think too hard, Just… be in one place most of the time."

"Okay."

He's on his way out the door, "And call me!"

The T.V goes on. _"Okay!!"_

"Okay!"

Liam snorts, "Jeeeesus."

"Fuck my _life_." He grumbles as he closes the door behind him. It deducts nothing from the fact that he's smiling like a colossal idiot.

 

**~**

 

It's a little before 9 am when he meets Stiles on the rooftop right opposite the Governor's office. He's hoping today is not the day Gabe decides to forego routine.

There are a few ominously parked cars along the street that are not usually there, probably the undercover cops waiting for the moment.

"Are those actual binoculars??" he asks, sitting down on the ledge with Stiles.

"Well, yeah! Here got you a pair too!"

"Thanks."

They sit silently for a while, and Theo's stomach feels hollow with nerves, but it's not long before they see Gabe's Camaro pull up into its illegal parking spot.

"Oh shit. Here we go!" Stiles grabs a walkie-talkie looking gadget and says, "Dad! Dad that's him, black Camaro!"

Chief Stilinski's voice cracks through the comms, "Damnit Stiles, get off the radio!"

He doesn't, of course, he leaves it on, tuned to the same frequency as the squad cars so they can hear the whole charade go down.

It's fucking exhilarating.

The moment Gabe steps out of the car, Noah Stilinski lets his squad car's siren scream a quick one, and it's so apparent that Gabe is guilty as hell the way he spins around. He side-steps to start running and collides right into one of Stilinski's officers—a tall blonde guy, built like a brick shit house—and is swiftly pinned face first into the building.

"Oof!! That's Parrish," Stiles tells him, "He lets me go on patrol rides with him."

Stiles is an actual fucking child, he thinks.

Gabe drops the white take-out bag, and within moments the Governor's office is surrounded by a fleet of cops. Several rushes toward the bag, confirm its content, and then the wooden front doors are busted open. They stream inside, guns raised and shouting for everyone to get on the floor.

Theo watches Gabe struggle to get free. He knocks his head back into Parrish's face, but it has zero effect, and he only gets shoved back into the wall and kept steady while they slap cuffs on him. Over the radio, they can hear Parrish read out his rights while he starts walking him over to the squad car.

He still struggles and jerks around in Parrish's hold which makes his head collide with the roof of the car before he's shoved inside. Theo's not even sorry that he giggles about it.

On the radio comm that Stiles holds they hear the team clear the first, second and third floors. The third one being Governor Monroe's office floor.

"Drop it!" Noah calls out, "Drop it right now, Governor!"

There's a thud and then silence. Theo sits close to Stiles, and they see officer after officer exit the building pushing a handcuffed perp to the police van.

"Took you long enough, Chief," Monroe says teasing and testy like she thinks this isn't over. Theo hates the way her voice sounds; it's even sharper than when she speaks publicly.

Then there's a rustle—probably as she's arrested and walked down to the street.

On the webcam Stiles has somehow linked to his phone, they have sight of the back of the building. The narcotics team is busy hauling out piles of duck taped, white packages from the elevator.

"You were right. They were cooking it up in there." Theo says to Stiles while they watch more people being arrested.

"I'm always right."

Theo raises a skeptical and probably very judgy eyebrow at Stiles, recalling how he accused Liam of all sorts of bullshit.

"Okay. Like 90% of the time." Stiles says sheepishly.

Noah himself brings Monroe out, cuffed as well, but unlike her son, she walks without struggle; dignity intact and her chin tipped up high with an arrogant smirk on her face.

It's a very satisfying thing to watch as these idiots get arrested and the building raided from top to floor. The best part is there's an entire news crew filming in the street; people recording with their phones. There is absolutely no way they can get away with this, and perhaps Gabe's not going to jail for what he did to Liam, but it sure is justice enough.

"Hey," he says and squeezes Stiles' shoulder, "Thanks, man. For helping."

Stiles, in turn, pats him on the back. "Yeah. No problem, dude. No problem."

 

**~**

 

Theo enters the apartment just in time to hear the news broadcast blaring through the living room, and he's hushed enough about it that Liam doesn't notice him returning at first.

Liam is sitting with his knees curled up under him in the corner of the couch with Theo's duvet cover over his knees, raptly watching as people are handcuffed and driven off in police vans. The entire block is surrounded, every exit, as shown from the aerial view.

_"In breaking news this morning: The Governor of California, Tamora Monroe has been arrested for possession, manufacturing, and distribution of illegal drugs, mere hours ago. The bust was made shortly after nine this morning, shocking the residents of California. The Governor faces conviction of both federal and California state drug violations as well as immediate impeachment by the State Assembly for misconduct in office, and if found guilty, could face up to 50 years imprisonment. Chief of Police Noah Stilinski has overseen this operation and is on the scene with John Randy, live. John, over to you."_

He unpacks their coffees and bagels and takes Liam's over to him on a small plate.

"Oh, hey. Did you see this shit?"

Theo blinks, "I uh, yeah, all over the news." he wonders if Gabe's arrest has been broadcast yet and if Liam recognized him.

"I mean I know there's some shit going on around here but the Governor? Wow—Hey thanks!" Liam says and sits up to reach for the coffee and bagel, flinches immediately as he does so.

Theo is bent down to his level faster than he can blink, "God, can you take it easy, huh!?"

It makes Liam smile, his protectiveness, and he sits back just staring at Theo with a godawful gorgeous grin on his face. "Well, yes sir."

Theo just rolls his eyes and grabs his own food from the countertop, sits down next to Liam with the tips of his toes buried under the duvet.

When they both turn their attention back to the screen, the news anchor is back and talking about Gabe. It's clear from the lack of reaction beside him that Liam doesn't know his name.

_"Her son, Gabriel Monroe, having just celebrated his 20th birthday, faces enhanced felony charges concerning possession with the intent to distribute, drug trafficking, money laundering, and assault."_

It takes a second for Liam to put the pieces together once the footage of Gabe being handcuffed starts playing. He's cursing and struggling in the restraints, kicking up a fuss for being placed in the back of squad car. Serves him right the fucker.

Liam's mouth opens, and he leans forward to squint at the screen. "Holy shit, that's…"

"Hm?" Theo plays dumb. He'll tell Liam one day when he's certain he won't get socked for being just as reckless as Liam sometimes is.

"That's the fucking guy who…" he motions around his face and ribs and general self, "It's him!"

"Huh. Fucking asshole. Looks like he's getting what he deserves. 20 something years in jail seems like a sufficient reflective period, whaddya say?" stuffs the bagel into his mouth and winks at Liam.

Lucky for him Liam's too satisfied when Gabe knocks his head against the car before getting in the back, to notice Theo's lack of surprise at the events.

He feels rather badass himself having basically orchestrated a whole fucking drug bust.  

_"In addition to these arrests, 14 police officers and government officials have been taken into custody for their in involvement and 7 locally owned business have been shut down with immediate effect and are under investigation for racketeering."_

"Is it bad that I'm like super thrilled about this?" Liam asks sipping on his cappuccino.

"Not at all, Red. He hurt you. Real bad." Theo chokes up again, looks down to his lap.

Liam shifts closer to him and presses up against his side, leans his head down on Theo's shoulder in comfort. He pulls the duvet closer and covers them both, then turns up the volume.

And now Theo really feels like bawling his eyes out, perhaps for a few minutes he does. He almost lost the guy, got really close to never even sitting with him like this again. He's allowed a few tears.

"Gonna have to stop crying 'bout me at some point," says Liam, warm beside him, his voice low.

Theo snorts wetly, sniffs, "Yeah. Maybe one day."

 


	16. Orphaned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~a quick warning for mentions of death, non-graphic, non-descriptive, very brief. 
> 
> ~~This one is a bit, long guys. Lots of things that needed to happen and they needed to happen /here/. Hope ya'll enjoy it anyway.
> 
> ~~For now, the chapter count remains at 23, I have to still compile them all and that may change the number. But it will probably not be less than 20. Siiigh.

Friday morning Liam is up early again, just can't seem to sleep in. Strange surroundings and all. Although he admits waking up with the sun glittering in through the large glass sliding door that opens to a palm tree covered balcony ain't so bad.

He's pretty much still in a bunch of pain. His head hurts every damn morning; the throbbing won't subside until he takes his pills- which is a pain in itself since they make him drowsy, and he's had enough of lazing around.

So while he's brewing up a pot of coffee, he's bracing for the pep talk Theo's going to give him about the plans for today.

"Man, why do you wake up so early? Sun's barely up." Theo says, dragging his feet into the kitchen, his hair sticking up in all directions. Looks about as soft as a ball of cotton.

Liam's sitting on one of the stools already nursing his first cup of coffee. He eyes the very obvious and bright rays of the sun through the window and arches up a brow at Theo.

"Shut up," Theo tells him and pours himself a cup too.

He looks stupid cute when he's all grumpy and sleep-wrinkled. _No. Definitely not. We are not going down that path, Liam. No._ Theo has done so much for him already, and he doesn't deserve any of his kindness. Not after what he did to him.

"Wasn't gonna say anything," Liam mumbles into his coffee instead.

He waits for Theo to sit down and take a few sips of coffee, then yawn, stretch and come to life like he does each morning.

"So." he finally says, "Need you to drive me around today."

"Oh yeah? Where to?"

"Kira and I do a Christmas charity drive every year. She helps with collecting clothes, blankets… that kinda thing—"

Theo's face does something weird, eyes going all soft, and he smiles.

"—she uhm, she collected it while I was in hospital. Mason's got some stuff too…"

"Of course. Yeah. Where do we take the stuff?"

"Thanks. It's going to Jenna. She distributes to where it's needed. Her… uhm, the orphanage is just 20 minutes or so away. But if you'd rather not go there—"

"What? Don't be ridiculous. Why wouldn't I wanna go there?"

"I…" Liam shakes his head, "It's just—"

"You don't have to feel embarrassed, Liam. Jeez. I mean, where would you have been if it wasn't for them, yeah? It's your home." Theo says matter of a fact and gets up to start breakfast.

And yeah. Theo just kind of hits it on the head with that.

"You're right. Yeah. Hey, listen I feel bad that you're always cooking and feeding me, dude. Let me buy us breakfast on the way, huh?"

Theo has that immediate air of dismissal about him, and sure maybe Liam's not supposed to be spending money he doesn't have. He doesn't know what those hospital bills are going to look like, doesn't even want to think about how many hours he'll need to work overtime to pay it, hates that Mason is working his ass to the bone for rent money. But, he also hates sponging off Theo, although Theo will argue hell and high water that this is not the case. 

Theo is a pain in the ass that he adores wholeheartedly.

To his surprise, Theo agrees with not even the slightest protest. "Okay. Fine. But I want that greasy, filthy, no good, carbs on carbs thing they got at the diner near your place, or I don't want anything at all."

Liam places a hand on his chest, acts like he's shocked, "But, but… but, what about… the gym bod??"

Theo tosses a dishrag at him, "You." He says, pointing at Liam, laughing, "You're a little shit."

~

Another problem Liam finds with his injuries is that it's hard to lift his hands above or behind his head. Something pulls terribly tight in his ribs when he reaches up. Probably it's the cracked ribs and tissue damage.

Problem is, he needs to get his hair washed good and proper, can't reach it, and rinsing just won't do a second time. He tries and fails miserably to get the shampoo as far as his ear, but the sharp pinch in his side makes it impossible.

He's winded and annoyed when he finally drops the shampoo bottle on the floor and lies back in the tub to hold his ribs beneath the warm water. "Fucking shit." He mutters to himself.

"Li?" comes Theo's voice from outside the door.

"Huh?"

"You okay?"

"Oh. Yeah. No, I mean yes, I am okay. Just can't reach my hair…"

"I can… do you want me to… I mean if you can't…"

"Yeah, please? If you don't mind?"

"I don't. Just gimme a minute." His voice gets faint and muffled, "Putting some clothes on!"

Liam smiles. What a dork.

"Incoming!!" is all the warning Liam gets before Theo walks in looking a little surprised to see him sitting in the tub and not standing in the shower.

And oh… okay, Jesus. Apparently, 'clothes' does not include a shirt, and Liam needs to look away _stat_ when Theo enters the bathroom in his dumb faded blue jeans and nothing else. Who does that?? Well, he's got boxers on at least, white ones, Liam thinks. How does he know this? Because they are peeking out the top of his jeans goddamnit. This was such a horrible idea.

He bends to pick up the shampoo and kneels behind Liam. Liam straightens up. Theo's hands are steady and careful when he tips Liam's head back.

The water hits his scalp warm and soothing, and he almost doesn't catch the pleasing groan that bubbles in his throat. Has to bite down on his lip to keep himself from making noises once Theo's long fingers start working in the shampoo, massaging in slow, small circles, dragging down his temples and the back of his neck.

"Oh god." He finally breathes out, controlled enough for it not to sound like a moan. "Should have been a masseuse. What the hell."

Theo chuckles, "My mom made me massage her head with coconut oil when I was younger. She's got great hair." He says fondly.

"Well, thank you Mrs. Raeken, for that!"

"She'd kick your ass if you called her Mrs. Raeken."

Theo's family sounds really lovely. He'd like to meet them one day, he thinks.

Finally, Theo rinses Liam's hair, but he's not done apparently until he stands up and places another kiss to the center of Liam's forehead.

It leaves Liam frozen and warm all in one go. He just sits there and watches Theo walk out wordless as if nothing happened.

And maybe nothing did happen… maybe it's just what they do now, maybe it doesn't mean anything more.

Except for how it means everything.

 

  
They stop at Liam's apartment first, and he kind of forgot that Corey stays there too now and there are a bunch of new things stuffed into the little cracks of their place. Corey's comics neatly fill up Mason's collection, there's a blue lava lamp that he knows Mason hates, and Liam giggles seeing it smack bang in the middle of their coffee table. 

The other unmistakable clue that Corey now occupies this space is him walking out of the bathroom in a towel while brushing his teeth. "Hey!" he mumbles and then something Liam can't quite discern but it sounds like "Mase will be right out." and then disappears into their bedroom. 

They both come out a short while later. In the meantime, Theo and Liam had made themselves comfortable on the couch, which now sports brand new and really cool gamer pillows. 

"How're you feeling?" Mason asks, smelling shower fresh but he looks tired and spent and as if a week of sleep won't fix him. 

"Sore most of the time, can't laugh without something hurting, you know." He nudges Theo with his shoulder, "Doesn't help that I live with this clown." 

Mason chuckles, sits back into Corey's arm. "As long as you're taking it easy. Both of you."  

For some reason, Liam's the one blushing, and Theo starts inspecting his nails. 

"Yeah so…" Mason says quickly and clears his throat, "So Corey's mom invited us to New York for Christmas. We're leaving a couple of days before that, which works out perfectly since the shop will be closed by then and you won't have to take leave—"

Mason keeps talking but Liam's thinking there is absolutely no way he's tagging along on Mason and Corey's Christmas vacation after all the shit they're doing for him, all the loads they're carrying for him while he recovers. They deserve a break, just the two of them. Jesus, they just moved in together and can hardly enjoy it because they both have to put in extra hours to make ends meet. 

Liam is not even considering third wheeling this year. 

"Absolutely not." he interrupts Mason's speech midway. 

"What?"

"I am not third wheeling on your holiday, Mase," Liam tells him, all three now look at him.

Corey blinks, "We always do Christmas together…"

"Yeah," Liam says, "But we're always here. I am not tagging along to your family, Cor."

Mason looks a little exasperated by now, "Then what? You gon' sit here by yourself for Christmas?" he looks at Theo, "Are you around for Christmas?" 

"Uh," Theo licks his lips, sits up straight like he's being questioned in court. Liam kind of wants to laugh but Mason will most definitely add count to his injuries if he does. "No. Going to see my family up in Aspen." 

And now Theo looks super guilty which is ridiculous; makes Liam feel like the pants in that Sisterhood movie that were just passed around and around. 

"Guys. Guys." he sighs and puts his hands up, "I'll be fine. I'll spend the day with Jenna, or… whoever. But I'm not under any circumstances following you two to New York to watch you smootch all fuckin' Christmas."

"Dude…" Mason starts, but Liam silences him with a finger.

"Ah—"

"But—"

"Ah-ah."

Theo swallows a giggle as Mason retreats, then says, "Hey, look, maybe I'm not even going to Aspen. It's not a done deal kind of thing. Might stay here. Who knows." 

That seems to satiate Mason and Corey's worried grandpa expressions, for the time being. Liam can't say he's not touched by the room full of people who care this deeply for him though. He is. It's heartwarming. Just not enough make him want to spend Christmas break with Corey's family like some loser who doesn't have his own. Ha!

Mason whines a little more, and Corey does his best to pacify him, Theo intercepts with making coffee and mentioning that he's starving for junk food, which Liam takes as the hint it is and gets Corey to take their two boxes of donated items down to the car. 

Theo graciously helps Liam down the short flight of stairs outside the building, it's a lift short of being carried bridal style. Liam is not so sure he would entirely object to that either. All in all, he's pretty winded once Mason gets the front door open for him. 

Corey and Theo are loading the back, and Mason buckles him in and closes his door.

"I miss you, buddy." He says, leaning in the window.

"Yeah. Me too, miss home." 

Mason smiles a soft, knowing kind of thing, "No, you don't."

Liam lifts his eyes to the rearview mirror, to the back where Theo's eyes are narrowed with laughter. "Doesn't mean I don't miss you." 

And okay, perhaps, just maybe, that was some kind of admission. Of something. He doesn't know what. Because there is something unsaid there, something left hanging, something that makes Mason's eyes twinkle bright.  

"Mase. I never… I didn't tell you. That I'm sorry. For all of this, I never meant to—"

"No. Listen. It wasn't your fault. I know that. Theo told me what happened."

"I'm still sorry. I—" _dammit why is this hard_. "Hm. I lo… I love you, okay. Never meant to make you worry like that."

He shuts up before he does something stupid like cry. But Mason looks pretty close to it.

"Hey. I love you too, alright. Just take care of yourself."

Liam nods and Theo then gets in beside him, Corey joins Mason outside, and they wave the car off.

"Right!" says Theo, all chirpy, "Food!!!"

"Food. Yay." Liam says as enthusiastic as he can possibly ever get about food. He guesses it stems back to his younger days, sometimes hunger is a thing you just got used to or learned to deal with. Back then take outs and fast food had been luxuries no one could ever afford, and while Jenna did her best to keep them all healthy and fed nutritious meals, it was hardly Chipotle or whatever. Food is just not a thing that bugs him, and sometimes whatever is occupying his mind is more important than mealtimes, and food is forgotten altogether. 

"And meds." Theo reminds him. 

"Ug."

"I know, right??" Theo says, eyes on the road.

He's the biggest fucking dork.

 

**~**

 

"Hey, can I get a Super Stack breakfast burrito, extra cheese, extra sour cream, a large fries, and mega coke."

"Jesus Christ, Theo. And a hash brown with fries, please."

"Just a hash brown?"

"Yeah? —Oh, quit giving me mom looks."

"Fine. Just one, single, lonely hash brown and also fries."

_ "Fries, sir?" _

"Fries and fries. It's what the man wants, yeah."

"A hash brown is not the same as fries. It's fry related. And what're are you having? All your cheat days in one with all that food?"

"I'm carb stacking for winter."

_ "Uhm. Thank you for calling, please pay at the next window." _

"There is literally no such thing."

"It's a thing, Liam."

 

~

 

Kira is thrilled to see Liam, not that she didn't visit him while in hospital. He remembers her voice, remembers her talking to him and holding his hand just like Theo and Mason did. He remembers Jenna too. They all sat with him at some point.

Theo, with the last of his greasy breakfast burrito, waves at her with a dopey grin on his face like he's thrilled about the number of calories he's putting in his perfect body with that thing.

She waves back, taking Liam to the back to get the stuff, and upon entering Devon and Andy hurry apart as if they'd been caught in the act. It's kind of cute how their cheeks match in redness, and they don't know where to look except at the floor.

Liam grins at them—it's not like he never made out in a storeroom before—and winks at Andy.

"Ain't you supposed to be at work?" he asks when Andy comes to greet him.

"Uh, yeah, I'm on my way." He says sheepishly and heads out after giving Devon a sidelong glance and a weird, guilty smile.

Kira has managed to get an impressive collection together, there are shoe boxes wrapped as gifts and a bunch of sports equipment: lacrosse sticks and balls, tennis racquets, baseballs bats and basketballs.

He's not even sure all this stuff's going to fit in Theo's little fucking sports car.

"Got my clients roped in. They're pretty generous." She tells him, and there's an adorable faint blush on her cheeks at Liam's surprise. 

"Jesus. This is incredible!" he swings his arm around her and kisses her temple, makes her laugh. "They're gonna love it!"

For a quick moment, his eye catches sight of Theo as he frowns and looks away from Liam and Kira's embrace, clearing his throat.

They don't stay long since he promised Jenna to be there before 11 am. 

Theo's smile returns, and he helps Devon to get the car packed, and soon after that, they're on their way. 

 

~

 

Pulling up at the orphanage floods Liam with memories that both choke him up and make him terribly nostalgic. 

The first thing he sees are kids on the big front lawn playing soccer. Jimmy used to be fierce at soccer.  _ "I play it like a fuckin' champ!" _ is what he would say if he got called out for foul play,  _ "Ain't noffin' foul about it!!" _  he'd yell, and then start cussing out words no one's ever heard until half their team was paralytic with laughter.

Liam stands outside the car and watches a red-haired boy run off with the ball. He's skinny and pale, with a big fucking nose just like Jimmy's.  Liam knows it's not him, he saw Jimmy's body, but it's nice to think for a moment that he's running around free and happy just like that. 

"Hey. You okay?" Theo asks beside him.

Liam snaps out of it. "Yeah. Fine. It's uhm. Brings back lots of memories. Wasn't all bad, you know? Living in an orphanage. Had all your best friends with you every day, like a permanent sleepover almost." 

Theo's smiling, squinting into the sun, "I bet. You still know anyone here?" 

"Nah. Few older kids maybe look familiar, probably the pre-teen group before I left."

"Is it weird to ask if you miss it?" Theo asks, looking at him now.

Liam turns to him a little, gives him a curious look. He likes that Theo's not bothered by any of this, that it doesn't phase him, that just like Mason, Kira and most guys at the pizza place he doesn't seem uncomfortable with Liam's background or being here. Doesn't think any less of Liam for it. 

"Not weird. I mean, I miss the family we had here. But they're all gone now, except Jenna, they've all moved on. I miss the safety net sometimes, not being responsible for yourself, knowing someone had your back." he shrugs, "But I guess that's how it is for everyone, huh?"

Theo nods. Liam thinks he probably misses his family real bad with them being so far away. It sounds like they grew up pretty close, and so Theo must know the gap you feel when you're separated from them. They're more alike than he thought after all.

"It is. My mom's always complaining about how empty the house is without us there."

Speaking of moms—and yeah he shouldn't think that way—he sees Jenna coming out of the main house to greet them and immediately all notions of sadness falls away- same as it always does when he sees her bright smile and soft blue eyes. Momentarily at least. 

"Oh honey!" she says, and her voice goes all shaky, "Oh my god, come here." then she hugs him just a little too hard but it feels so good he doesn't care. She smells like home and safety and everything good ever. 

"You had me worried sick. Sick. I drove Mason crazy every hour with texts, he must think I'm a total nut. Oh, Nugget, I'm just—" 

"I'm sorry Jen," he says muffled and squished into her neck, his arms around her back.

"It was awful seeing you like that, Li. We thought…" her voice cracks, wobbles in her throat, the way Theo's had too at the breakfast counter, so Liam hugs her again. 

"I'm okay now. I'm sorry." 

She pulls away after what feels like really long, "Oh god, how rude of me. Theo! Hi!" 

"Hey, Miss Geyer." Theo goes for a handshake but gets a hug too. Serves him right, Liam thinks, grinning at the surprised look on his face. 

"What's 'Miss Geyer', huh. Call me Jenna," she tells him, pokes his pec. "Why don't you guys go up to my office, I'll get some boys to unload the car, okay?" 

Up in Jenna's office, Liam finds not even a paper out of place. The walls are lined with ever-growing photos of all the kids, sports teams, birthday parties, group events. Liam remembers each one as if it were yesterday. Her old wooden desk is still in front of the stained glass window, and there's still a perfectly round hole in one of the panes thanks to Jimmy and a stray baseball.

And, on her desk beside the green lamp is the handmade photo frame and a picture of two young boys—him and Jimmy; probably ten years old—missing their front teeth, hair sticking up every which way. 

He laughs, but his eyes go warm with tears, "I forgot what he looked like." he says and smiles fondly at the photo. "You think you remember, you think you'll always remember but…"

Theo stands behind him and puts his chin on Liam's shoulder, "Who's that?" 

Liam swallows and wipes his eyes, "Jimmy. The tattoo I have," he points to the redhead in the picture. "that was him. Jimmy Flemmer." 

"I've been wondering." Theo says, then, "Hi Jimmy." and there's something so morose and utterly sweet about it, Liam just wants to fling his arms around Theo and sob. At least it makes him laugh and put the photo back, makes him appreciate it for what it is: a fond memory that he's lucky to have and share with Theo. 

Jenna comes back with a tray of tea and muffins and sits behind her desk. She's older, Liam notices now, with lines and wrinkles as faint as they are, streaks of blonde-grey in her platinum hair. 

They spend a few minutes discussing the donations, what Jenna's going to do with it all. While munching on tea and muffins, she tells him about the new kids, how well the Home is doing right now-financially and otherwise-how happy the kids are and that they're almost able to hire additional staff. 

Liam's heart feels unbearably full and content at that thought. Even fuller watching Theo stuff his mouth full of buttered up bran muffin while he inspects all the pictures on the walls.

He looks back at Jenna and finds her absolutely serious now.

"Can we talk?" Jenna asks casually and glances toward Theo. Liam looks around to where he's standing.

At this point, there's not much that he cares to keep from Theo anymore. He's seen Liam pretty much at his worst and whatever he wants to know he can simply ask, Liam will probably tell him any and everything. 

"Yeah. Of course." Liam says quietly and gives Theo's back a small smile.

She takes a deep breath, "There's something I need to tell you, honey." Jenna's eyes soften, and she pulls out a single sheet of paper from a yellow binder.

"You'll forgive my timing, with it almost being holiday season and all. But I think waiting would have been worse."

He shifts in the chair, swallows, "What is it?"

Jenna takes a deep breath and looks at him the way she did the night Jimmy died. His full heart sinks down low into his belly.

"We found her."

Liam stares at her, at her mouth, trying to reframe the words she just said. It's almost incomprehensible.

It's been  _ seventeen _ years.

He holds Jenna's worried gaze then slowly blinks down at the paper. His face is about as impassive as he can manage. "Where is she?"

"Nugget," Jenna shakes her head, "I kept phoning every week. Even when we agreed to stop searching. Hospitals, newspapers, police stations... Morgues."

A quiet huff escapes him, and he looks down to where his hands are wrung together. He had always known of this inevitability. He knew there would never be any happy outcome in finding Katherine Dunbar. That's not what he wanted anyway. He just wanted to look her in the eyes and have her see that he's still alive; that abandoning a child doesn't make them disappear even if sometimes he wishes it did.

He feels the warm weight of Theo's hand on his shoulder.

"What happened…" he asks, without having it sound too much like a question. It's not a question when you already know the answer.

"Overdose," Jenna says simply and hands the coroner's report over to Liam. Her name's written on it, the cause of her death and a next of kin. James Sanders. 

He scoffs at it.

"Her boyfriend, apparently." Jenna clarifies. "They buried her earlier this week, up in Sacramento."

His mother lived roughly three hours away from him. It's been seventeen fucking years.

"Of course they did."

Jenna reaches for his hand across the desk, "You okay? I know it's not—"

"I'm fine." he pulls himself out of it, "It's fine. Didn't know her, you know." He shrugs. He can't make much of it right now, not much he can do about it but let the shock settle in and do it's thing later. Whatever that might be.

Jenna knows him well enough not to push, "Okay honey." she squeezes his hand, "I'm here if you need anything, okay? Always Nugget."

He nods.

The squeeze of Theo's hand on his shoulder says, "me too." 

Liam breathes again. 

He's not alone. He's not. She's gone she's always been gone, but he is not alone.

  
  


The drive back home is real quiet. Theo is careful around him, gentle in an undeniable way as if he might break. But the thing is, any other person learning of their mother's passing would be in a state, would be crying or feeling something akin to grief. 

Liam's been waiting for the shock to settle in since he heard the news, but… he feels nothing about it. It's not like a part of him has been ripped open and left bleeding like Jimmy's passing was; it's not a heartache or a full feeling in his throat. 

Maybe he's just felt her absence his whole life, and this is nothing new. Maybe that makes him cold and heartless just like her. He doesn't know the difference. 

But he's tired and sore, more so than usual. Ribs aching, face throbbing, stitches itching, he is not the best kind of company right now.

And so Theo doesn't really know what to do with him once they get home. He falls into his usual routine of getting an early dinner started while Liam sits at the counter, scrolling through his phone. He glances over nervously a few times but doesn't say anything.

When he comes to lay Liam's pills out beside a glass of water, Liam shows him something funny he came across while scrolling and Theo looks like he's about to burst with tension.

"Look," Liam says, "we'll talk about it, okay? Just not now. I don't… Not now." because he doesn't really know how.

Theo nods, "Of course. Of course, whatever you need. I'm here. Whenever. And Liam, I'm really sorry."

"Thank you. Thanks for today, too. I appreciate it."

He makes that small smile and winks, "Any time, Red." 

Dinner is noodles with fried steak, peppers, and soy sauce. Liam is 100% sure Theo has a secret chef stashed away somewhere. 

"So uh," he starts around a mouth full of noodles, "When are you leaving for Aspen?" 

Theo waves around with his fork, "Dunno yet." and slurps a noodle into his mouth.

"Thought you said you go every year for Christmas?"

"Uh huh." 

He's not looking at Liam which is weird until Liam pieces it together.

"Wait. Are you thinking of staying behind because I'll be by myself??"

Theo at least tries to look offended that Liam would ever think such a thing of him. "...No?" 

Liam lifts a brow, "Really?"

"Okay. Yeah. So what? Christmas isn't any fun on your own. What're you gonna do here by yourself? Get depressed?"

"Ug. You and Mason!" he makes a spirally circle around his temple, "Drive me nuts. You are not staying here for Christmas Theo, you are going to see your family." 

"I can see them in the new year when Mason's back." 

"No."

"Liam…"

"No!"

"Okay, fine! Come with me, then!?" Theo kind of shouts it, sounding half desperate and then they just sort of stare at one another from across the counter for an aching five seconds.

Liam shakes his head, "No. Don't even start with me." Because if he won't go to New York to Corey's family, why the hell would he go to Colorado to Theo's? Right?? He feels like the answer is pretty obvious, but he ignores it anyway. 

Theo sighs and twirls up another stack of noodles onto his fork- he doesn't concede though. Liam finds himself oddly relieved about that.

 

Much later when the dishes are all washed up, and they've watched a movie about sharks and tornados (what the fuck) and another about piranhas (he has lost 700 brain cells), they're off to bed.

Liam just puts his phone down and is about to snuggle into this ridiculous, rich and dense feather duvet heaven, when a message comes through.

**_Theo:_ ** _ Hear me out. _

**_Liam:_ ** _  no _

**_Theo:_ ** _ come on. It's only a few days, right? We leave on Thursday come back the following week... _

**_Theo:_ ** _ my mom will love having you over _

**_Liam:_ ** _ did you miss the part where I'm poor? _

**_Liam:_ ** _ I can't afford the tickets you big goof. _

**_Theo:_ ** _ that's the magic of having rich friends, yeah? _

**_Liam:_ ** _ No! _

**_Theo:_ ** _ you can pay me back, okay? _

**_Theo:_ ** _ if that will help you rest your pretty head at night _

**_Liam:_ ** _ awwww you think my head's pretty!?! _

This is so dumb. They're in the same house. Liam's smiling into the bright light of his phone screen.

**_Theo:_ ** _ I don't want you to be alone on Christmas, Red... _

Liam stares at his phone, one message after the other streaming in and he thinks beside Mason, Theo is the most insufferable human he's ever met.

**_Theo:_ ** _ and not just coz you'll get into fist fights with the entire town by yourself... _

**_Theo:_ ** _ our backyard looks like the one from The Shining. You like Nicholson, don't you? _

**_Theo:_ ** _ don't even have to wear boat shoes. _

**_Theo:_ ** _ hell, don't even have to wear clothes ^_^ _

Liam snorts and drops the phone on his chest. If he's honest with himself he doesn't want to be alone either, that thought scares him to death. And it would be really nice to see how a family functions and interacts, it'd be nice to be a part of something like that for once. 

**_Theo:_ ** _ I'll bring you coffee in bed every morning I promise... _

But can he trust himself around Theo? Can he trust his feelings?

**_Theo:_ ** _ Red? _

**_Liam:_ ** _ You are literally the worst person, and I hate you _

 

Theo replies with hordes of happy face emojis, long, smiling strips of them. There are a few shiny pink hearts in there too, but he doesn't stop to question those since there is also a misplaced burger.


	17. Weightless

_ Jimmy calls out to him. "Come on, Li… Just jump!"  _

_ "You're alive??" Liam says and gets onto the swing rope tied to a tree branch overhead the river. Jimmy's already in the water. _

_ "Yeah! What else? Jump!!"  _

_ Liam doesn't question it, hell, if Jimmy's here then Liam's happy so the part of him that says 'this can't be real' he promptly ignores and pushes himself off the river bank, swings low over the water.  _

_ The only sounds are their laughter, the slow trickle of water over rocks. It was… is, it is a gorgeous day, what with the sun baking down on their skin, no place to be, no cares.  _

_ Except when he swings back to the riverbank a woman is standing, watching, and she's got no face.  _

_ His body jerks away from her, a crack resounds then Jimmy's calling out to him "No, Liam! Don't look!" but of course he does, he looks without knowing why he does. At the woman, at the branch above his head. The swing rope won't hold any longer, he's going to fall. _

_ He's grabbing at the branches, looking frantically between Jimmy and the woman, trying to get hold of her but she won't help him, won't reach for him. She's just… standing. And she doesn't have a face.  _

_ Finally, there's a deafening clap, then four more in quick concessions as the branch breaks. Only… he's not in the water where he should be had he fallen from the swing rope.  _

_ He's on his knees in a pool of blood, and there are five bubbling bullet wounds in Jimmy's chest. And the woman still has no face. "He doesn't have anyone else…." Liam cries. _

_ Why won't they listen to him? Why is she still staring at him like that? With no face??  _

_ "Jimmy?? Please?? Jim. Come on… no no no!! Don't… you can't take him!!! NO!" _

_ And then she's pulling him under, and he screams because she has no face, and his lungs fill with river water and blood. _

"Liam!" 

_ Jimmy? _

"Oh, god. Liam! You're hurting yourself! Lia—"

He shoots up abruptly, scampering around like he's trying to make way in thick mud but gets nowhere. Breathing is tough and painful right now. What…

"Hey! It's okay! You're okay, Liam, Liam look at me…"

He looks around to find Theo staring at him, his eyes worried and big in his head, hands outstretched like he's showing Liam he's harmless. He is. He's harmless and safe and good. And Liam, in his nightmare dazed state belongs in Theo's arms, can't quite keep his body from just diving toward Theo. Because he's safe.

"Hey, yeah... Come here…" Theo says softly, puts his arms around Liam's shoulders, and cradles the back of his head. He is so gentle, he somehow knows just how to hold him to make this better. 

"He was alive… he was there and she...I didn't… she didn't have a face, Theo." Liam's chin quivers violently, and none of this sadness will stay inside now, none of the confusion and dread he felt just moments ago will remain hidden. It rolls down his cheeks and leaves a wet patch on the breast of Theo's Henley. 

"Shhh. Just a dream. Nothing's gonna hurt you here. Shhh." Theo tells him, over and over, and he sounds so god-awful sure of it Liam lets himself believe it for now. Theo won't let her come close. Won't let Katherine drag him under.  

He sobs, and it'd be embarrassing if he weren't so scared and heartsore. He wonders why these dreams are always so cruel, why his mind does this to him. Can't he just dream of Jimmy as he was? Happy and alive and smack talking. 

And, now she's added to the mix too, and of course, she'll be this ghastly apparition with no semblance of a face. But, he guesses as in life, so it is in death too. He doesn't even remember what she looked like. 

Theo's fingers are dragging slowly through Liam's hair by the time his breathing goes back to normal, and he stops crying. 

"You okay?" Theo asks, the sound of his voice vibrates through his chest. Liam wishes he would never stop talking. 

He nods, and only then, does Theo let him go.

"I'm sor—"

"No. Don't. You don't have to apologize for being human okay?" Theo still has a hand on his knee, a gentle smile on his face, "We all have nightmares. Mine just happens to be about scuffing my boat shoes but—"

Liam snorts, it makes his head hurt, but he at least laughs and starts wiping his face. Feels a little less tense for having fucking nightmares in someone else's house. The last time that happened, his girlfriend flipped the fuck out and made Mason' deal with it.'

"Fuck. How do they always feel so real, huh?" He asks, cleaning up his face with his sleeve.

Theo inhales and purses his lips before asking, "You were, uhm, was it about Jimmy?" 

"Yeah. Jesus." 

Theo's voice goes quiet, "You dream of him often?"

He looks up at Theo, on the edge of his bed. He seems ready to back away at any point, a little cautious about what comes next if he oversteps. At the same time, he looks hopeful to share something with Liam, to have another small piece of him.

Liam shifts up to make space beside him for Theo to sit, pats the mattress next to him and smiles at how fast Theo moves to take up the spot. 

He wrings his hands together, he's never really spoken about this before, "Jimmy was uhm." He swallows, "He was murdered." It takes Liam a little while to come to terms with saying that out loud.

Theo patiently gives him that time.

He breathes out long and slow, "I wasn't with him that day, although, in these dreams I always am. I should have been… Was apparently a drive-by shooting, guess he stole from the wrong bunch of guys. We uhm. We heard the shots all the way from the orphanage. And I just knew. I knew it was him. I knew he'd been shot." He looks down to his lap, "Should have been there."

"Liam, I think if you had been there that day, you probably wouldn't be here now," Theo tells him very quietly.

He nods because it's true, "Guess sometimes I feel like that wouldn't have been the worst thing, you know. Better than walking around with this idea that I could have stopped it somehow."

Theo takes his hand, his face is something pained, "Li, do you know how many people love you? Do you know that if you weren't here, none of our lives would be the same? We'd all be missing something and wouldn't even know what, there'd just be an empty hole where you were supposed to go."

He feels so stupid the way he's crying again, "Yeah?" he says all snotty-nosed and sees Theo smile at him through a blur of tears.

"Yeah, Red. Definitely." He confirms with enough surety that Liam actually believes it. He matters to someone… to a lot of people. Then Theo wraps his arm around Liam's shoulders and pulls him close.

After a while of letting Liam cry, holding him just right, Theo pulls back and lies down on Liam's bed, stretches one arm out and looks expectantly at Liam.

There's really no question about what he's doing so Liam doesn't ask; he lies down in the bend of Theo's arm, his back to Theo's chest and one of those enormous tree trunk arms curl around his middle. 

In his neck, Theo's breath is warm where he exhales against Liam's skin.

It's not awkward. He thought it'd be weird, but it's not. Feels like this is how it's supposed to be. Feels safe and okay, and like there is not much that can touch him anymore. Not here, encircled in Theo's arms.

~

They wake up together a couple of hours later, still in that same position. There is a quiet, peaceful air about Theo's place today. It's a little overcast, a cold breeze swoops in through the sliding door, and the smell of coffee lingers after their second cup. 

Liam is tired, not the kind of tired any amount of sleep will fix. His head pounds while he stares out into the middle distance at nothing in particular while Theo packs away some dishes. 

"What are you thinking about, Red," Theo asks. He sounds tired, too, and Liam can't help but feel a little guilty about it. 

He tugs the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands, balls them up in his lap. He looks at Theo and wonders, _do you really want to know what goes on in this terrible head of mine?_ Why would anyone want to know? Why would they give a shit? Not like they can do a damn thing about it, and besides, ain't nothing fun about hearing of someone else's strives. 

Yet, there with his soft green eyes and lips pulled into a small smile, Theo stands, waiting earnestly for an answer. 

Liam's not even sure why he's divulging, why he told him about Jimmy's death or why he's about to say what he's about to say.

"It's just," he starts, "that I never got to tell her goodbye, you know. Never got to… They buried her and didn't think that—didn't occur to them that I'm… that I even exist." he shakes his head and fat, warm tears roll down his cheeks. "And I don't know how to feel about it." 

Theo sits down beside him, their knees knocking together. "What if you had the chance to say goodbye?"

He doesn't understand, and Theo gets it, "I'll drive you up there. To do what you need to do, even if it's just to look at a headstone." 

Liam looks at him, trying to understand this boy. He's got no reason to care the way he does. He doesn't owe Liam anything at all, especially not this. 

He shakes his head, frowning, "Why? Why are you doing this?" he asks, implying everything, from letting him stay here, taking care of him, comforting him, helping him, making him smile.

Theo frowns too, opens his mouth only to close it again,  but in a way that feels to Liam like he was about to say something but changed his mind halfway. Instead, he settles with "You deserve it, Red. You deserve closure. To move on."

He is quiet for a second, lets the words sink in. "Okay."

It makes Theo smile all the way to his eyes, "Okay." 

Theo moves to get up, but Liam grabs his wrist, pulls him back and into a hug. Hurts his ribs a little, the sudden movement.

"Thank you." he mumbles into Theo's neck, "Thanks." he kind of wants to stay just like this all day. Swiftly wonders when he became so favorably disposed to the idea of curling up with Theo. It's a great idea, though.

~

It's a quick thing. Theo helps him get dressed, given how his injuries restrict him. He calls Mason and informs him of Katherine's passing, listens to Mason's panicked sound over the phone. Naturally, Mason wants to come too, and Liam is honestly thankful for that. He needs Mason differently than he needs Theo… and oh, that's… yeah. He guesses he does need him. 

They pick Mason up along the way, stop at a drive-through for food which Liam is seriously not hungry for but accepts and keeps for later. 

The drive is only about three and a half hours, and the car is quiet all the way except for the radio tuned to some country music station. Liam makes a note to tease Theo about that later- doesn't quite have it in him now. 

He's nervous, for some reason. Be it because of the faceless woman in his nightmare that he knows, realistically, can't show up there—since she's dead and buried—or because of finally being in the same space as his mother who abandoned him. 

He's also nervous because crying and being vulnerable in front of Theo, letting him see a very open, raw part of him is a rather new development for them. It's shocking how natural it feels too, there's really not much that he wants to hide or keep from him. Doesn't feel like Theo will judge him for any of it. A couple of months ago, he wouldn't have let himself get this close to another human being.

He's scared of what this means. All the little emotions that he tries so damn hard to keep at bay are building into an aching ragged thing his chest that he refuses to name- he's afraid he won't be able to keep it all safely tucked away for much longer if he does. 

Especially not when he thinks there is an equally aching thing in Theo's chest, a jumble of feeling with sharp, jagged edges that tears him apart the longer it stays buried. 

It doesn't immediately occur to him that perhaps these two aching things, together, could be whole and then wouldn't hurt half as bad. Probably wouldn't hurt at all. 

 

"We're here." Theo finally says and pulls up curbside at the graveyard. There's more dirt than road, and the little pathways that dwindle to each headstone are overgrown with tall, dead grass.

It's a massive graveyard, Liam thinks. He wonders if they're all such flat expanses of death. He had never been to one in his life. Jimmy was cremated, and he's got no grandparents to speak of. It's eerily misty too, this morning; a thick white blanket that hovers just so above the ground. 

He hates it. 

Might as well get it over with, he thinks, so he gets out of the car and buttons up his coat against the cold. In the cold wind, he feels every single bruise amplified, throbbing and straining under his skin, and tries to think of that instead while they walk down the misty pathway to the far end of the cemetery. 

"Jenna said against the fence," Theo tells him.

Theo and Mason follow him as if he knows what the hell he's doing. Makes him feel like laughing suddenly. Ignoring things are so much easier than actually facing them, and he's not sure if he despises or adores Theo for making him do this. Probably it's the latter. 

He skips a few graves, some fresh (gross), some tattered and old, passes a row of names. Jennifer Becker, who was someone's sister and wife. Andrew Nevill McCaw an army vet, Leslie Drake, someone's father. 

And then Katherine Anne Dunbar.

It's a small little grave. Pathetic, really. A sad and somber feeling passes through him. The way you're supposed to feel among the dead he guesses, but nothing more than that. It's not grief, it's not loss. How can it be?

He's not going to stand there and rid the grave of the small rocks and dried leaves that have made a home on the sand where she lies. He didn't bring any flowers to wilt there either. His hands are shoved deep in his pockets, and he has no plan to move them.

Liam stares at his mother's headstone. Katherine Dunbar. There is nothing more than her name engraved on it, not a spouse, a child or parent beside it.

She died as lonely as Liam has lived.

Life has a strange way of leveling out, he thinks.

"Bye ma," he says finally, and for the first time, to his mother. It's closure, and he knows it, he feels it in his bones. He's been looking for this all his life. Six-year-old Liam wasn't given a chance to tell her goodbye or ask where she was going, he was only ever left wondering why she never came back.

This time though, this time, he can see her off, and he knows exactly where she'll be. If he plays his cards right, he'll never end up there.

He doesn't linger there any longer than what is needed. He wants to get out of this dreaded place, so he leaves as quick as his injured body will go and starts walking toward the nearby lake- just to breathe. 

Again, Mason and Theo follow after him, leaving a good amount of space between them but never enough that he feels alone. 

He's standing on the edge of the water when Theo and Mason flank him on each side, hooking their arms through his. It's okay now. He's okay. He's got them… he's going to be just fine.

"Thank you. For this. For everything." Liam tells them, voice only a whisper above the slushing of the river water, and he cries again. Not for her. Never for her. But perhaps for himself, for six-year-old Liam, for what he lost without ever having it. 

In the far distance, behind a row of willow trees, the sun comes out from behind grey clouds glowing soft yellow into their faces.

"I'm so sorry," Theo says, sounding as earnest as Liam's ever heard him. Liam thinks if Theo were able to siphon sadness out through touch, he would do it right now. "She never deserved you, that woman. Never deserved all the good that you are." and his voice goes a little wonky. Mason nods.

Liam looks to Theo, the pastel light of dawn gleams through his hair, his face set hard yet sympathetic as he stares out at the lake before them. Liam can't take to heart what Theo says—what good is he anyway—but if he says it, it's got to be true in some ways, and that makes him feel alright.

Mason glances sideways and winks at him. He of all people knows what Liam feels right now. He's been there through so many nightmares, saw him grapple over her, search for her. So he knows, how weightless Liam's heart feels right now. 

"Come on." he says and tugs on their arms, "Done enough moping for one day. Let's go home." 

~

There's a small diner halfway home, and they stop there for coffee. The place is playing nostalgic 60's music; the booths are all red, black and white, same goes for the floors. The couple beside them share a massive milkshake with the cliched one straw. 

Liam guesses it's pretty sweet but that milkshake looks damn good he won't even share it with… Theo… that's how he's thinking about things now, huh?

Damn. 

Theo and Mason slip into the seat across from him. Kind of nice to see his two (best?) friends sitting beside each other like this. 

He feels considerably better after the whole graveyard debacle. Having these two dorks around helps. They're like a safety net if he thinks about it. They're there on either side of Liam holding the net for him to fall back on. 

Somewhere during these last few months of knowing Theo, he's become one of those singular people in Liam's life he couldn't live without anymore. And it's inconceivable that their paths could ever come to an end now. 

A petite waitress slides up to their table, she's got long, flowy red hair that's tied up high on her head. Liam immediately notices the freckles across her nose and those bright green eyes remind him so much of Theo's. 

"Hey, what can I get you boys?" she asks,  looking to Theo and Mason who are both sitting with some stupid expression and high eyebrows, watching the two of them. 

"Hey," Liam replies, and his voice is pretty low when he leans forward, "cappuccino with cream, please." gives her his widest grin. Which fucking hurts because he's still battered and nursing bruises. 

To his amusement, her cheeks go red all the way to her ears, and she shuffles from foot to foot.  

He's not proud of the part of him that revels in the effect he has on people sometimes. But here they are. 

"Uhm. Sure." she mumbles, then after composing herself somewhat, "Coming right up!" 

The fact that Theo's cheeks are pink too just adds to Liam's delight, and for some reason, he can't bring himself to tear his eyes away from that sight. 

She turns to Theo and Mason. 

"Uh. Two lattes. Thank you." Mason says, shaking his head and grinning at Liam the moment she swings around to leave. 

Liam leans back in the booth, lets his arm lay on the back of the seat. Theo tries really hard not to look at him, and it would be kind of funny if there weren't something a little haunting on his face. Something longing. 

_ Come on gorgeous, smile, _ his mind shoots off before he's even capable of stopping that thought. 

Well then.


	18. Idiot in [redacted]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, okay, we are /finally/ at the top of Angst Mountain and ready for the descend into Happiness!!!! Enjoy the smoooooth sailing from here on out!

 

It's about three weeks after Liam's discharge, and while brushing his teeth, he examines his injuries. 

The bloodshot eye is giving way to a little more white around the blue of his iris, cheekbone is a weird blackish yellow color that won't fade and hurts when he puts any pressure on it; kind of a given since it got fractured.

The cut on his lip that claimed his lip ring has healed and Corey said they can redo it when he's ready. His jaw still hurts when he opens his mouth too wide, but he guesses that's fine - not like he's wrapping his lips around anything that would require stretching of that nature. Much to his dismay, if he's honest.

The ribs are also playing along nicely, or he's just learned to move without hindering them and hurting himself. Doesn't really know which it is. He hates to think that it's because Theo makes him rest while he does all the work. Liam's never met such a damn busy body in his life, such a fusser, and coddler. He ignores the part deep down that secretly loves it and thrives on the extra attention he's getting. Particularly from this one individual.

When he's done in the bathroom, he heads out to the kitchen in an attempt to get breakfast started, do his part to some extent so he can stop feeling guilty about being fussed over. 

He's about to switch the kettle on to boil when beside it, his eye catches sight of an envelope. It's got the hospital's stamp in the corner, addressed to Mr. L.E Dunbar. At Theo's address.

Huh. Liam thought the bills would go to Mason. Someone must have changed his address since he'd be staying here. He also thought he wouldn't have to worry about this shit at least until the new year, guess there's no running from the inevitable.

Liam peels the envelope open—he feels a little weird opening the mail even though it's addressed to him—and unfolds the paper inside.

"What the..." he mumbles and flips the paper over, then turns it back.

_ "Account Settled in Full. Thank you for your cooperation." _

_ "Settlement reference: 0995." _

Liam knows that number, he's seen it somewhere before. _Gino_ … his brain supplies.

Yes, wait, that's the same account number that made the anonymous donation to Jenna's orphanage, isn't it? He's good with numbers, he remembers numbers. This is definitely the same number. _What the hell??_

He stares at it like a blank, dumb idiot. It takes a good while for the pieces to slot into place, and when they finally do his face is hot with fury.

How fucking dare he?? How… who gave him the right to just—this wasn't the deal. But, what was the deal though? Other lines have obviously been crossed. 

However, cuddling and forehead kisses aside, Theo had no fucking business paying his goddamn _hospital bills_. That must have been an unthinkable amount, what the hell was he thinking, what was—

"What were you thinking??" he spits out just as Theo waddles into the kitchen, sleep ruffled and yawning. He'd feel bad about his tone if he wasn't so furious.

Theo swallows back the yawn, and his mouth slams shut, "What?"

"What?? This!!" and he slides the paper across the counter.

Theo's eyes grow wide, a little gasp escapes him, and it looks like he's frozen just there where he's standing. 

Liam's staring at him, but he's not meeting Liam's eyes; instead, he reaches for the paper. Liam's got a feeling he knows what it is already.

"Oh." he says under his breath, "Shit."

"Yeah. Shit. Theo why? Why would you do this??"

He's just staring at Liam now, there's a worried frown between his eyes and he swallows. "I wanted to… I just saw it and I couldn't—Mason just looked so... and I knew you guys—"

"What? Can't afford it?" it comes out sharper than he means, but he can't exactly let the fact that Theo stuttering and going red in his face deter him from what's really going on here, as endearing as it is.

It seems to bring Theo back just fine though, and for the first time Liam sees him get pissed off, eyes going a wild, electric green and where is jaw is usually soft and friendly, he now clenches it. He's still red in the face, but Liam reckons it's not from being embarrassed anymore.

"Yeah, Liam. Yeah, you can't afford it.  You know for a guy who once told me not to treat you any different, you sure like to act that way. I tried to _help_ you." He stomps off to the fridge, swings it open and grabs some eggs like maybe they did him wrong, tosses a pack of bacon onto the counter. "Would'a done that for any of my other friends too."

Liam's the one who swallows now, "I also told you I'm not a fucking sugar baby, Theo—"

Theo swings around from the stove, plants his hands on the counter, "Yes. You made that _very_ clear. And I'm not exactly daddy material either, have you noticed??" 

Liam looks at him, mouth open, and blinks. Didn't fucking expect _that._ He can't keep his lips from twitching with the urge to laugh or smile at the very least. This guy is a fucking… He's an idiot. And Liam's an even bigger idiot.

He exhales long and hard—conceding in a way since he knows this isn't a fight he's going to win—and watches Theo's eyebrows arch in anticipation of another argument, his stupid bulky arms flexing under his stupid Henley and his stupid perfectly groomed eyebrows furrowing stupidly. 

Everything is so stupid. Especially the way his heart is pounding in his chest right now.

Just to match the intense glare Theo's giving him, he keeps eye contact and pulls the chair out with as much defiance as he can muster, sits down at the counter in defeat and arches up his own brow. "I'm not thanking you for this."

"And I'm not apologizing for helping you, Liam."

_ Don't call me Liam… call me Red. Please call me Red. _

"Paying you back. Every cent." He insists because he too, is insufferable he realizes.

"Sure," Theo says and goes back to making breakfast, but his jaw has softened now, eyes back to pale green. Liam would almost say he wants to smile. "You do that."

Twenty minutes later, the kitchen smells like coffee, toast, and eggs, and the rain falls down outside with not a ray of sunshine in sight. Still, Liam feels warm and at home and… happy. Well shit. Yeah, he guesses, he feels happy. Despite having had an argument of sorts, they're comfortable and content. They don't talk much while they eat, yet there's a calmness settled all around them, and Liam wonders what the hell this is.

What is this domesticity, this sense of belonging, this feeling like he is exactly where he's supposed to be? And it has nothing to do with the place. It does, in fact, have everything to do with the guy sitting across from him with butter on his chin. This dork who keeps taking sips of coffee that is obviously way too hot. Theo, who makes it feel like summer or Christmas or the 4th of July all the time; like things are going to be alright no matter what happens.

He realizes then that whenever he is in Theo's company, his mind's a little quieter, he smiles, he laughs. And he likes it. He loves making Theo laugh too, the few lines that crease around his eyes, how his cheeks go a little pink, how he gets so totally absorbed in these dumbass movies he insists they watch. How Liam never really focuses on the movie but on the boy beside him. If he laughs, it's because of Theo's expressions or because Theo started laughing.  

He realizes that when Theo isn't there, he hates it and that he can't wait for him to come downstairs in the mornings. Realizes that he's not sure he remembers what life was like before he met the buff prep guy with the stupid boat shoes, but he remembers Theo at his bedside every day and how soft his hands are and how much he misses holding them.

He realizes…

_ He realizes... _

He's staring at Theo now, as he comes to this terrible conclusion. Theo looks up. His eyes are bright in the morning light, that butter still on his chin, coffee cup halfway to his mouth

"Whath?" he says with a cheek full of toast like a hamster.

Liam knows he's screwed when he thinks it's the cutest thing he's ever seen. It really just goes to confirm this realization that has decided to flood him right this morning.

Liam shakes his head fast, looks down, "N-nothing. Nothing." 

He's fucked. He's an idiot and he's in… _oh God._

**~**

A couple of hours later, Theo and Liam collect Mason and Corey at their place and give them a ride to the airport. Liam can hardly believe the time has come for everyone to be on their way to do whatever it is people with families do. 

"Hey, man!" Mason calls out, he and Corey both dressed in thick coats and beanies, ready for their trip. 

"Hey, bud," Liam replies. Mason hugs him carefully for the sake of his ribs, pulls back a little and gives Liam a peculiar look. He should have known Mason of all people would sense it all over him. "What's going on?" 

"Shh." Liam hisses, "Nothing." glances over at Corey and Theo packing the bags in Theo's trunk.

"Oh. My. God. Did you jerk him off again?? Liam you better—"

"No?? What?? No!" 

"Then why have you got _that_ look on your face Liam, what did you do??"

Theo and Corey return way too fast, and Mason's never going to leave him alone until he tells him. Liam doesn't want to do it over text, he's bound to fuck up and send the confession to Theo instead or leave his phone open where Theo can read it, and God, he's not ready for that. 

So, he pulls Mason closer by his jacket and shares his awful, terrible, dreadful realization of earlier with him in a hurried whisper. 

Mason's got the dumbest, blissfully happy expression on his face when Liam lets him go. He's really just staring at Liam with a grin, and twinkling eyes and Liam wants to shove him or shake him and tell him to stop it. This is a serious fucking thing that's happening. He's in… _Jesus._ He's in lo… Uuugh!

"Shut up," he grumbles under his breath even though Mason hasn't said a word. 

Mason looks at Theo, then Liam, then Corey. Smiles even wider when Theo comes to stand beside Liam and leans his elbow on Liam's shoulder. 

Liam feels Theo's super megawatt grin radiate, and he sighs. 

"Are we going or what?" says Theo and gives Liam a little shake. Mason just about explodes. 

He hates Mason.

Theo, when they leave, takes a pillow from the trunk and places it behind Liam's back, to make the ride easier on his injuries. Liam blinks at him with a delirious smile. Mason takes a photo of his face right at that very moment and makes it his phone background. 

Liam chose the seat directly behind the passenger seat so that he can stare at Theo while he drives. Yes, this is what he's doing now. So what? He needs to process his thoughts somehow, what better way than to gaze right at the source. 

Mason cracks the fuck up the entire time, silently, in the back seat with Liam. Corey turns around a few times to glare at them. Liam is sure Mason is going to spill the beans the moment he's alone with his boyfriend. He is so happy he won't be in the same vicinity as them for the next week. 

They finally reach the airport, grab a quick coffee with Mason and Corey before they see them off at the terminals. Mason leaves him with "Don't be stupid" and a pat atop his head. Theo gets a warm hug and a soft, gentle pat on his cheek as if Mason is proud of him for something.

"So Mason's seems really excited about the trip, huh?" Theo says beside him, and Liam actually startles, he's been so deep in thought.

"Mason's an asshole."

Theo laughs and tugs on Liam's sleeve, "Let's go home. Got our own packing to do."

First Liam spazzes because Theo used the word 'home' referring to the both of them, and this should not be anything strange, he's sure they've been talking this way all the time. But now, knowing what he knows about himself, there is a unique and meaningful tag attached to that statement. 

Secondly, he freaks out about the fact that they'll be leaving for Aspen in a few days, that he'll be meeting Theo's family for the first time, that he'd be doing all of this while knowing… while knowing that he's in fucking lo— _Shit_.

Back home, Theo orders pizza just the way Liam likes it on the rare occasion he actually eats pizza. He's been off work long enough to enjoy it at least. Theo seems aware of this too. Liam doesn't even know how Theo knows this, he just does. Probably because he's perfect. 

He snorts at himself and watches Theo's eyebrow rise up from across the room where he's still on the phone with the pizza place. 

"What's gotten into you?" Theo asks, putting his phone down and bringing Liam what is left of his afternoon meds. 

"Thanks." Liam grins at him and swallows the pills down, thinks now is probably a good time to pull himself together or the next few days are going to get really hard to navigate. "Maybe I'm just excited for the holidays."

Well, there's a thing he never thought he'd hear himself say. 

But god, he's glad he said it because Theo's face beams like something out of a fairytale. He is utterly, indescribably gorgeous. He's beautiful. 

Liam is so so fucked. 

He takes a breath and steadies himself, tries to regain some composure and succeeds until the pizza gets delivered and they take it upstairs to eat while they pack. They stand at the edges of their beds, across the hallway from one another. 

Liam opens the travel bag he's borrowing from Theo, has to do a double take at the contents. 

two nerf guns;

one blonde wig;

diving goggles;

Minnie Mouse ears;

a half-empty box of 'Super thin/XX-tra wet condoms; and

one set of fluffy handcuffs.

"Oh my god… oh my…" Liam starts laughing despite the sting in his side, he's laughing so hard he starts wheezing and clutching his ribs, but he can't stop it. 

Theo rushes in with a severely worried look on his perfect face, grabs Liam's ribs too, one hand just under his pec to keep him up. "What the hell are you doing??" 

"The… oh my god… the bag…" Liam manages,  in tears now, and points to the bag. 

Theo looks bewildered around to the bed where the case is splayed open with the precarious items inside. His face goes from concerned to beet red in a matter of seconds, which sets Liam off even more.

"Oh. Goddamnit," Theo says and lets go of Liam once he's able to stand by himself and his knees aren't weak with laughter and endearment for this dork. "That... I forgot about that." and he starts scooping it up. 

"No, no, no, wait!" Liam jumps in and puts the items back down, "You can't just… expose me to this shit and not explain yourself, come on." 

Theo groans; drops his head in shame, "No. Why? Ug, just let it go." he says half-heartedly. 

"There is no way. Explain this!" he holds up the blonde wig. 

"Look. I don't remember half of it. Early college days—can you stop smiling like that!—Jesus, we partied a lot, okay? The wig and goggles were Stiles', I  think, and the…" he flushes again.

Liam feels his grins stretch, kind of like Mason's earlier, "The what Theo?" 

"The rest is mine. Ug. come on, why are you still laughing!?"

Theo shuts the case, but Liam opens it again, pulls out the fluffy handcuffs, swings it around his finger. "Who'd you tie up, huh? Stiles?" Liam teases.

Theo grimaces, "No. Jesus. No. And I never used those."

"Why? They're so pretty?" 

Theo sighs; rolls his head to the ceiling and looks back at Liam. He's even prettier when he is totally exasperated. 

Finally, he says, "Never fit around my wrists." 

And Liam's jaw drops open, his dick kind of twitches in his sweats at the thought. 

"Happy??" Theo says pointedly, but he's smiling now too, probably at Liam's half stupefied half amused expression.  

Theo turns away, red down to his neck, and starts out the door when Liam aims the nerf gun right at his head and hits him behind the ear with a foam ball. 

The look on his face is priceless when he turns around, "Did you just?"

"Yeah, Twunk. What're you gonna do about it??" Liam says all cocky confidence, keeps the gun aimed at his target. His gorgeous beefy, green-eyed, pretty mouthed target. 

"Twunk?? Oh my god!" Theo laughs incredulously and grabs the second nerf gun; points it right at Liam. "Say that again." he challenges. 

Liam grins, leans forward, and slowly whispers, "Twunk." 

Theo still acts surprised before he fires and hits Liam in the chest. He's got the presence of mind to start running, and soon they're chasing each other around the upper level. Liam's ribs fucking ache but he's laughing, he doesn't care. 

Because Theo is a little shit he runs down the stairs, but promptly comes back up to help Liam down too-the chase seizes briefly-then runs away again. 

He dives behind the couch and Liam hears him giggle all breathless and it's music to his ears. Such a deep, rasping sound. Makes his heart remember how to be warm and beat the way it should. 

He's lost enough on the thought that he misses Theo sneaking up on him at the kitchen counter. He pops up at the opposite end, gun pointed at Liam. Liam has lost the game already, just by the way he feels when Theo smiles at him. It's like catching on fire. It's like the sunrise. 

Liam shoots him between the eyes for making him feel like that. It's so swift that Theo sinks down and disappears behind the counter. Liam leans around to check that he hasn't injured him. But no, he's not injured. He's just sprawled on the floor laughing, with his eyes clenched tight. Silent, dumb laughter. 

Liam laughs too, drops down with much more effort, hurting in a bunch of places that don't matter and tries to catch his breath. 

"Dork." he laughs and drops his nerf gun between his legs. You absolutely amazing, ridiculous dork.

Theo's head rolls to him, and with limp, tired arms he still manages to get one last shot in- against Liam's cheek. 

Which sets off another fit of uncontrollable giggles. 

 

It feels so right. Feels...

It feels like it did with Jimmy: a little crazy, blind-happy and carefree. Innocent in a way too, but there is one considerable and utterly enlightening difference…

He was never in love with Jimmy.

 

 


	19. One of the Romans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the parents! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boi, I wasn't kidding when I tagged this slow burn huh??? LOL. It's getting there guys, I promise.

Liam is pumped up with a mixture of nerves and excitement when it's finally time to depart for Aspen.

Their bags are stacked against the wall in Theo's lounge, and they're just waiting for the uber to collect them.

Theo's busy sorting silently through mail at the kitchen counter, he's bundled up in a chunky sweater and beanie. And boat shoes. He looks incredibly cute. Liam's finding it hard not to stare.

Liam's head is still reeling with the fact that he's fallen in love with this dude. He was so careful, he was also, apparently so stupid.  Mason once told him there is nothing you can do to keep yourself from falling for someone. It's not up to you. Equally, there is nothing you can do to prevent people from loving you.

But now that he's finally given way to this burning, ragged obstacle in his chest, all his heart wants to do is bounce right out. All he can think about is kissing Theo, being close to him, holding his hand. Feels like he's sixteen again, head thick with these mushy thoughts.  

Theo knows he's being watched, he's got a small curl to his mouth corner and he is very deliberately not looking at Liam.

Liam wonders how he'll go about telling Theo about this revelation he's had, thinks of how selfish he's being, wanting Theo now after rejecting him weeks ago. Is he even entitled to feel this way? Dare he assume Theo still feels the same, that he'd ever make himself that vulnerable again?

"What!" Theo finally, and exasperatedly, calls out from across the room.

"What??" Liam's a little surprised.

"You're staring. And you look like you're about to  _pop_  if I open one more envelope."

Liam rubs his face, "Just wanna get going already."

He wonders what the hell he's going to do in close quarters for four fucking hours with Theo next to him.

 

The answer comes, after they've gotten to the airport, boarded and have taken up their seats, and an hour into the flight Theo lays his head down on Liam's shoulder and falls asleep. Well, that was pretty easy then.

The old lady beside Liam gives him a warm and wrinkled smile. "That's lovely, dear." She says, then, "Gay rights." and Liam snorts so loud Theo jolts awake.

Liam quickly presses his head back down, "Shhh, shhh sleep. Sleep." and to his amusement Theo obeys. Goes right back to sleep.

He thinks about how nice it'll be if he got to have this all the time; if Theo sleeping on his shoulder wasn't anything strange. If he could just lean over and kiss him. Because that's what you do when you're in love, right? And that should be easy, except for how he ruined it all by being an asshole when this was handed to him on a silver platter.

Now there's just no guarantee that Theo won't knock him the fuck out if he ever tried it again.

Liam sighs and drops his head, peers sideways at the feathery half moons Theo's lashes cast on his cheeks in the compartment lights; his mouth parted like that, and he thinks  _'Fuck, but I love you.'_

He has to tell him, has to show him. So much time has passed already, and there's plenty to make up for. So while he pulls out Theo's tablet and opens up the movie folder Theo compiled for the trip, he starts thinking of how exactly he's going to do that.

He lets out a quiet chuckle when the first movie is Sharknado 2, he can't stand this dork. He skips that and skips the Harry Potters altogether—they hit a little close to home—and instead settles on a goddamn love story.

By the end of it, he's snotty, his eyes feel puffy, and it's no wonder he has stayed away from this junk all his life.

Theo wakes slowly, yawns, and stretches out beside him. His jaw snaps shut when he sees Liam's face, and he's the epitome of concern for all of two seconds until he looks at the tablet in Liam's lap.

"Watched the Notebook?" he says, trying not to smile too hard. Liam's starting to think Theo and Mason will be great fucking friends.

"It's a horrible fucking movie. "Liam says and sniffs. "Do not like."

"Uh huh. The best part is, you think you're crying just because it's the first time you see it. Then BAM! It's the seventieth time, and you're out of Kleenex."

Liam laughs and hands the tablet back. "I am never fucking watching that again."

"Yeah, you are." Theo says, "It's nice. Imagine growing old with someone like that." Theo's eyes settle hard on Liam, kind of pointed, and then he quickly looks away.

He thinks now would be a perfect time to say,  _'Hey, yeah, grow old with me, I kinda love you.'_  but he has a bit more grace than to do it on a plane when they're 10 minutes from landing, he thinks.

The next hour or so flies by and is a whirlwind of luggage and calling cabs and freezing their asses off while they wait. Liam has never felt anything as freezing as this. His blood is basically slush puppy he's sure of it.

In the cab, Theo asks the driver to turn up the heat, then takes one of Liam's hands and starts rubbing it between his own, like he had done back in the hospital too.

Liam flushes bright hot. He doesn't know where to look. Thankfully Theo is too busy discussing the weather with the cab driver to notice.

Liam watches the scenery pass outside, white crystal fields and shiny, bright houses on snow-covered hills. The sun makes a futile attempt at a greeting, leaves golden sparkles that blitz off the ice.

Aspen is a beautiful place, he has to admit. It's breathtaking. Goddamn freezing but…

 

They eventually pull up at a gorgeous, two-story house with a wrap around balcony, warm yellow lights along the walls that make it seem like the house glows among the backdrop of evergreen pine trees behind it and the blanket of snow at its base.

Around the front door arch, tiny enchanting fairy lights are nestled in a thick leafy-green garland that spiral all the way around. Liam's only ever seen such places in real estate magazines.

In the driveway, a tall, older man and a young woman await them. They're dressed in thick winter coats and scarfs and gloves too; both with broad smiles on their faces.

The woman waves at the approaching car. Theo leans forward in his seat so he can see her and flips her a bird, smiling happily. It must be his sister Liam thinks. She replies with a mittened middle finger stuck up in the air, laughing as the man beside her nudges her with his elbow.

"That's Tara," he tells Liam with that gorgeous grin of his.

Liam smiles back, "Figured."

"You okay?"

"A little nervous," he admits.

The cab stops next to the two people outside, and the driver pops the trunk open. The older man, who must be Theo's dad, walks around and hands the driver cash for the ride.

"It's gonna be fine, Red. They're gonna love you!" Theo looks so excited, Liam melts a little even in this freezing cold. This must be what family is meant to feel like.

Liam gives him a wink, "Come on. Your dad's waiting" and opens his own door. While Theo greets his dad, Liam goes to take their luggage out of the trunk.

The young woman runs toward the car first, just about decks Theo flat on his back when he gets out of the cab. He lifts and swings her easily then places her right back down. A practiced movement that Liam can tell they've repeated many a time.

"Hi, Loser!" She says and punches him right in the gut. Theo must have anticipated it because he only laughs and smacks her wrist away.

They hug again. It sure is a lot of hugging. When they part, Theo shoves her toward Liam. "Don't be rude." He grumbles, "This is Liam." By now Liam has lifted all four suitcases from the trunk, with minimal protest from his ribs, and stands idly behind them.

"Hi." He says, "Tara, right?"

Tara's mouth smiles, but her eyes remain flat and focused and alert on Liam. She scans him with a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of glance and extends her hand.

"Sure am. I like your hair."

Aside from being dressed in all black, there is something sharp about her voice, something firm and knowing in her handshake.

"Uh, thanks. It's red."

_ It's red?? Liam… _

Theo laughs into his scarf, and this time, Tara's smile does go to her eyes. She looks at him, amused as all hell. What was she expecting? For him to be some hard-ass because of the tattoos and the piercings? Because he is very obviously a sticky, puddle of nerves right now.

"Alright, cherry top." She smirks.

She is terrible.

Thankfully Theo's dad saves Liam's puddle of self from melting into the snow at his feet. He claps Theo on his back and grins wide when Theo turns around. Liam never thought he'd see the day that Theo's broad shoulders are shadowed totally by someone else's arms, but his dad is huge and does just that.

Theo is a carbon copy of his father. The dad just has more facial hair on his jaw and meat around his middle than Theo, but their eyes are the same shape, color, and framed by long dark lashes. Liam watches in wonderment as they embrace.

"Hi, son." He says in a low booming voice and cups the back of Theo's head before kissing his temple.

Theo's arms don't go all the way around his dad's middle, "Hey, dad!"

Eventually, they separate as well—Lots. Of. Hugs—and the man introduces himself. His large hand nearly shakes Liam off his axes.

Through his thick beard, he smiles, "Jonathan Raeken." 

The man is easy to be around despite his mass, his eyes kind like Theo's. He is decidedly not terrible like his daughter.

"Liam Dunbar, sir."

Jonathan opens his mouth and promptly shuts it again when he looks over Liam's shoulder and smiles.

"Hi! Oh my God, hi!!!"

Liam turns to the sound of the thick southern accent. Theo didn't tell him his mom is as small as Liam basically, or that she's from the south. Just like Theo and his father, she shares strikingly similar features with Theo's sister, Tara.

"My favorite middle child! Baby, oh let me see you, let me see—" she grabs Theo's face and squishes his cheeks in her tiny hands, and he lets her with a dopey smile. She takes in his gigantic built as if she's never seen him all juiced up before, "Oh my god, honey look at you, you got ripped!!!"

Liam chuckles. He can't stop smiling. It's all very sweet, and very endearing.

"Hi ma," Theo says, and it sounds like his mouth is stuffed with marshmallows the way she is squeezing his cheeks. He finally removes her hands and draws her close for a hug.

His mom is short and slender with a gorgeous mane of golden blonde and brown curls, there are lines of laughter around her mouth and her pale blue eyes beam when she looks at Liam.

Theo leads her over by her elbow and grits out something between his teeth. She slaps his pec, "Have I ever embarrassed you??"

"Ma, this is my friend Liam, we met back in Cali," Theo tells her and smiles at Liam.

She stares at him for a silent few seconds, and blurts out, "Holy fucking moly but you're gorgeous?!" then turns to Theo, her jaw nearly unhinged, "He's gorgeous!?"

Liam laughs, mostly at Theo's exhausted eye roll. "Red, this is my mom." he nods to her.

"Hi, Mrs. Raeken. Really nice to meet you." Liam says and extends his hand, but she throws her arms around his shoulders instead. He hasn't been hugged by a total stranger in years, and he's quite surprised about how nice it feels despite being a little taken aback. "Oh, uh, yeah... hey. Uhm, thanks for having me over."

"Oh it's a pleasure sweetheart, it's been too quiet 'round here!" She lets Liam go and steps back, and then makes her way toward the house.

While everyone follows up the freshly shoveled path, she tells Liam, "Call me Mia. Mrs. Raeken sounds like my mother in law and lord, I've still got a few years to go, don't I?"

"Absolutely, Mrs. Mia."

She gives Liam a playful glare and smiles.

He kind of likes it here already.

The inside of the house is just as much a monstrosity as the outside. Liam feels slightly overwhelmed and very small, standing under the tall ceiling. He has literally only ever seen places like this in movies.

There's a huge glass window, which he supposes would be better described as a whole fucking glass  _wall._  It's massive, supported by wood pillars from floor to ceiling. He can see the piled-on snow on the outside against the glass. It's quite a sight.

The rest of the interior is just rich, smooth wood from the counters to the bookshelves to the staircase. It smells like timber and polish and whatever Mia has cooking in the kitchen.

He stares dumbfounded for a while during which Theo lugs their bags inside and dusts snow from his coat.

"This is fucking… uh, I mean you have a beautiful house, dude. This place is gorgeous." His head does a 360.

"Oh yeah, the yacht's out in the backyard." Theo jokes and pulls off his beanie. The others stream inside, rubbing their hands together, blowing into them.

"You're a little shit." He tells Theo, shoves him with an elbow.

Theo flashes some perfect, white teeth that make Liam's legs feel like sitting down.

"Ma, where's Troy??" Theo calls and comes closer to unbutton Liam's coat, probably to hang it up, but instead, he makes Liam's throat close up. Liam wonders if he knows how good he smells; if he knows what looking at his long lashes up close does to a person.

Theo probably mistakes the sappy look Liam's wearing, the way he's staring at Theo, as him being too close. He steps back quickly.

"Sorry."

He'd feel bad if Theo didn't look so cute when he gets worried.

"'s okay." Liam shrugs off the coat and in the process gets a flutter of snow on Theo's cheek. "Here... wait…. Just—"

They fumble at the same time, get in each other's way, and Theo ends up cupping Liam's hand on his cheek.

Theo mumbles a quick, "Thanks." and withdraws his hand.

Theo's mom is standing behind them with wide eyes and parted mouth while this unbelieving grin starts forming on her face as if she had just now discovered that this—him and Theo—is an actual thing they're all going to choke on over this Christmas break.

Oh jeez. Well, Liam thinks, it's about time someone starts choking on it with them.

"Troy," she says amused, her blue eyes flicking between them like a windshield wiper. "Is out back in the shed honey…"

Theo goes proper red. Liam thinks it's hilarious.

 

The backyard is somewhat smaller than the front yard but not by much, it's still a hell of a landscape, covered in obscure looking snowmen that makes Liam cackle the minute he steps foot outside.

"Oh my god." He says, laughing, looking at one with carrot horns and bright red strawberries as eyes. He pokes at it, and one strawberry drops out. "Shit!"

Just then a young guy—perhaps two years younger than Theo, wearing a long, pointed Santa hat and blue racing overalls—pops out of the small wooden shed off to the corner of the garden.

He looks affronted about the strawberry for all of two seconds but then his face breaks into a huge grin that is scarily akin to Theo's, only, it's dopier and toothier. But, Liam thinks, his eyes narrow into tiny slits just like Theo's when he smiles. He's a good mixture of Theo and Jonathan with Mia's hair color.

"Hey man," he says and bends down to retrieve the strawberry, shoving it back into the snowman's head. "Don't stress it."

"Thanks. You must be Troy, right?"

He comes to a stop in front of Liam and gasps, "Woah! Dope hair bro!" he almost reaches out but is then reminded of his manners, "Oh, bro can I touch it??'

Liam's opens then closes his mouth, hears Theo's snort beside him. "Yeah. Yeah sure. Go ahead." He bends his head forward courteously, and now Theo is straight up laughing.

"Man. That's insane." says Troy, then, "I'm Troy!"

They shake hands, and Theo tackles Troy and rolls him over in the snow only to wrap him in a massive bear hug.

"Hey, nerd!" he says and helps him back up.

"Hey Teddy," Troy says and leans in close to his brother's side.

"This is my baby brother, Li. Troy, this is Liam."

Troy's mouth opens again in that amazed child-like manner, "Oh wait, oh, are you guys—" He motions between them with his finger, implying togetherness.

Liam saves Theo despite wanting to see him blush again.

"Huh. I'd be so lucky!" Liam says and claps Troy's shoulder.

To his joy, Theo blushes anyway.

"Aw jeez. He keeps saying he digs guys, but I never see these guys." He looks between the two of them rightly disappointed. "Know what I mean?"

"Uh huh. Hey, want some help with the snowmen?"

Troy lights up like the night sky on the fourth of July, nods his head so fast Liam thinks it might pop off.

Liam spends a decent amount of time outside with Troy. Troy's pretty funny, really sweet and kind of dumb but in an innocent way that can only be adorable. He places several carrots in precarious places on unsuspecting snowmen; it has Liam doubling over in the snow with laughter. His ribs hurt like hell where they're cracked, but he can't help himself.

Liam crafts a snowman that looks precisely like Olaf and Troy looks at Liam as if he's Walt Disney himself.

Under the shelter of the awning overhead the patio, Theo stands with his hands shoved in his pockets and watches them, watches Liam with a far off but happy look on his face, his mouth tipped into a grin the whole time.

Liam feels that gaze on him through all the layers of clothes right down to his frozen skin.

The backyard is nearly full of custom built snowmen—with various appendices in the form of branches, vegetables, and rocks—by the time they're done and freezing.

 

Mia serves them freshly baked buns, sweet pulled pork, and a crispy green salad for lunch. Liam hasn't eaten this much and this pleasantly in ages. He's literally licking his fingers.

Troy has made a sandwich of the roll, salad and the pork, and while Tara grimaces at him and pecks at her salad, Liam thinks it's a pretty swell idea. He does the same. Troy's smile is heartwarming.

"So," Mia says, placing down her fork and handing a napkin to her husband, "Your parent's don't mind you all the way out here over the holidays?"

Theo's head snaps his mom, his face sheet white. Apparently, he had totally neglected to forewarn his family about Liam's lack thereof.

"Don't have those." Liam says and smiles to make it a little less awkward, "Just me and some friends back home."

Everyone else has gone quiet and stiff.

Mia tosses a white napkin at Theo, "Now why wouldn't you tell me, so I don't go askin' stupid questions, Theodore?!" Theo is now pink-cheeked. Mia turns back to Liam, "Well Christ, I'm sorry honey."

"That's fine, Mrs. Mia."

Mia smiles at him all warm, tender sweetness in her eyes. Jonathan gets up with his wife to clear the plates. She points a manicured finger at Theo, "Gross negligence." She says. Theo groans.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers to Liam, red all the way to his ears.

Liam snickers to himself and gets up to take some stuff back to the kitchen too but not before ruffling Theo's hair, so it's a right mess.

"Yeah," Liam says, "Gross." and catches how Theo rolls his eyes.

Tara's sitting with her foot up on the chair, arm resting on her knee while she nibbles on half a bun. She squints at Liam, tilts her head a little like she's reading data encrypted beneath Liam's skin.

He shivers and rushes off to the kitchen.

Liam stays behind in the godawful, big kitchen to help with wash up while Theo and Troy take their luggage upstairs.

"Always getting out of work those two." Jonathan says, running some dishwater, "Was always pooping after dinner when they were kids, so they didn't have to do dishes.

Liam's kind of wondering why anyone fucking does dishes with as much money as these people.

"Well at home… uhm, at his place he's pretty tidy."

Mia's mouth does something funny, she narrows her eyes, "Y'all spend a lot of time together, huh?"

Great.

Liam purses his lips. What's he supposed to say? The fact that he's basically smiling just about says it all, right?

He nods anyway. "Guess we do, yeah." and Mia sees it all over his face. She turns away again, and Liam's thankful that he doesn't have to answer any further questions.

He's wiping the counter, watching her and Jonathan at the sink. She leans into his side—he's taller, about a head and a half—and he leans down to drop a kiss atop her hair.

It's sweet, Liam thinks, they're in love too. The difference is just that they get to do that, has been doing it for years and he wonders if it came easy at first. Were their insides also twisted in knots at the thought of allowing someone that close, letting someone see all the way inside? Did either of them ever feel unworthy of it, as if they were just getting by on luck and that it was some kind of miracle the other one would even give them the time of day?

He wonders if Jonathan ever looked at Mia and all her sparkling wonder, her bright smile, and her warmth and thought he'd never be able to make her happy. He wonders if Mia told him to stop being stupid and kiss her already.

Maybe it's just that simple.

"So—" says a voice beside Liam very sudden and very close. Tara is sitting right next to him on the kitchen counter. He didn't even see her enter the room. What the fuck. "—chill, it's just me," she says and crosses her legs.

"Where the hell... were you here the whole time??"

She shrugs, "Maybe."

"Jesus."

"Hey, do you play football?" she asks, her gaze is intense, way intense like she's still snuffing Liam out. It's unnerving.

"Someone say football!?" Theo calls from the stairwell. Liam lets out a silent sigh of relief as the two boys stroll into the kitchen.

Tara leans back on the counter, play-kicks Theo as he comes past. "Was just asking your boy if he plays. Think he'll survive?"

"Football?" Liam laughs, tries not to choke about 'your boy' Why the hell wouldn't he survive football?

Theo comes to stand behind him with his hands on Liam's shoulders, "Frostbite Football."

Liam almost doesn't hear what he says because his body is trying to lean into the touch and stay upright at the same time. It's no easy task.

"Uh, what?" he says dumbly. "That sounds horrible."

Jonathan comes to lean on the counter, "Oh, it is. We still don't know why the hell they do it."

Theo slides in beside Liam, so he can see his face. "It's a tradition. We don't need a reason, dad. So what you do," he explains to Liam, "is take your shoes off and play football in the snow."

Liam makes a face at him. "That's it?"

Troy laughs, pulls his Santa hat over his ears, "That's the game."

"The first one to chicken out, loses like a loser." says Tara, "And this year I actually get a team. Don't have to beat you two idiots by myself." she slinks off the counter in a way that looks as though she hasn't even moved. How does she do that?

Theo and Troy look a little embarrassed but laugh and follow her outside.

"Y'all take those jeans off! They're a nightmare to dry!" his mom calls after them.

Liam can't even say he's shocked when Theo stops in the doorway and strips his jeans off. All Liam does is blink basically. Blink and blink and swallow.

Well, because Theo is standing there in black, skin-tight compression tights. What. The. Fuck.

"Oh boy," he mumbles and catches Tara's eye when he looks up. She fucking winks at him, knowingly, and the smirk that follows is just plain evil.

"Well," says Liam and pointedly glares at her for a second longer then looks away, "I don't have those on so unless you want to see me swallow my balls today, I'm playing in the sweats."

Tara snorts, "Sure, cherry top. Get the shoes off though."

Theo is a beaming bright light when he kicks his own shoes off and smiles at them before launching himself out the door.

This is an insane tradition Liam realizes, the moment his bare feet hit the snow. He thinks they've all lost their damn minds, he doesn't want to even take his hands out of his pockets nevermind frolic around in the bitter cold Aspen air. But when in Rome, right?

Theo and Troy are already hopping around on one leg, shoving at one another at the bottom of the lawn. Liam thinks it'll be an easy win. Tara makes quick work of explaining the rules while taking off her boots and socks.

Liam can't focus. Theo's cheeks are pink, his smile brighter than the glare of the sun on the ice. Liam's never seen anything like it. This exquisite mix of contentment and overflow of happiness. Liam can imagine it seeping into his own bones too.

Of course Theo catches Liam looking at him—and honestly, Liam doesn't give a shit anymore—and shoots Liam the cockiest of winks before tapping the football on the ground three times, yelling "Hut-hut!!" to Troy and bolting for their cordoned off touchdown area behind Liam and Tara.

Liam's fixed on his broad, muscled body slicing through the wind and snow effortlessly, his thighs that strain under those ridiculous tights. His hair has gotten long now, and it whips around in the wind, Liam kind of wants to tackle him just to run his hands through it.

Tara is onto him though, and she's not having his love-struck eyes. "Hey, Romeo! Get with it!!"

She surprises him by hauling ass straight toward Theo—like he doesn't have possibly one hundred odd pounds on her small frame—and fronts her shoulder to honest-to-god tackle him.

Liam sucks in a sharp breath bracing for the impact. _Is she fucking crazy???_ But like a smooth, swift machine Theo side steps, extends his arm, loops it around her waist and sweeps her, very literally, off her feet.

Her thick, dark curls blow all over as she flies through the air and he delivers a stupendous touch down right under Liam's nose.

Theo places a kicking Tara down, and she swats at him, huffing hair out of her face, "You big lug! You asshole! Uhg!!!"

Theo just ruffles her hair and laughs.

"Red," he says about two octaves to low, and as he passes, he salutes Liam with a smirk that Liam is sure could level cities if he tried. Goddamn.

There's no time for Liam to linger on that look since Tara smacks him upside the head, "Hey! The fuck?? You're supposed to take him down not stare him out of those stupid tights!"

If his cheeks weren't so red from the cold they'd see him blush about it, she certainly said it loud enough for Theo to hear.

Again, he finds himself not caring. Theo is captivating. He should be reminded of that daily.

They start again, it's Liam and Troy's turn and Liam side-steps Theo easily, and scores since Troy is staring open-mouthed at a cat climbing a tree and didn't even spot Liam running toward the goal post to touch down.

"Troy!" Theo shoves him again, Troy shoves him back, then Theo, then Troy, then Theo, in a perpetual cycle until Troy yells "Ma!!!" at the top of his lungs and Theo backs off.

"Come on!" Liam claps his hands, "Play ball!!"

The ice is starting to take its toll on his bare feet, Liam has never felt anything this freezing in his life.

Troy has the ball this time, and he skips rather than running, Tara takes him down in the stealthiest maneuver Liam's ever seen. Legs and arms and hair flying. It's impressive and terrifying all at once.

Liam helps Troy up and chuckles at how he's totally unaffected, grinning wide at Theo as if that was a win. It wasn't. Theo shakes his head and throws the ball to Liam's team.

Liam kind of hopes Theo tackles the shit out of him. He'd love to feel that colossal body… Uhm.

Judging by the spark Theo suddenly has behind his eyes, and the lopsided, goddamn city-leveling smirk he is going to do exactly that. Liam's stomach swirls with butterflies.

Theo starts off, heading straight for Liam, and Liam doesn't back away; he runs straight ahead. A few meters apart Theo slows, bends down and gets hold of Liam's thighs, right under his ass and brings them to the ground but cradles the back of his head and his ribs before he hits the snow.

The gentlest tackle in history.

While Tara stares at them Theo looks up, passes the ball to Troy—who has somehow ended up behind Tara—and he touches down.

"Motherfucker!" Tara yells and kicks snow at Troy while Liam lies trapped between Theo's thighs, his hands buried in the snow beside Liam's head. He is totally bracketed by Theo, couldn't get away if he tried- but why would he even try?  

It's warm between them, buzzing.

"Hi," Theo says and smirks down at Liam, voice all hoarse and quiet, it makes Liam feel like a marshmallow inside, wants so badly to wrap his arms around Theo's neck and just…

Instead, he grins, "Hey yourself."

"Hey, idiots!!" Tara hurls two fat snowballs at them, hits Theo right in the neck and snow splatters all over. Liam is starting to think she might be a damn assassin. A spy at least, with her precision and stealthlike approach to almost all things.

Theo jumps up, leaves Liam in the snow on his back, and runs for cover.

"Why are you running!!!??" she calls, cracking up at her own joke while Theo and Troy scurry off to take refuge behind a tree and gather up snowballs of their own.

Tara yanks Liam down behind the iced-over water fountain. Liam misses Theo's body almost instantly.

"Takedowns??" Theo yells from behind the tree.

Liam looks at Tara, "What are takedowns?"

Tara scoops dangerous looking heaps of snow into her palm, gets an even more dangerous glint in her eyes and says, "It's Sparta."

"Well," he says. "Okay then." Because what else do you say to a crazy person? "My feet are fucking freezing, madam Sparta," he tells her and follows her lead by scooping up balls of snow too.

She wiggles her toes, they look dire and red and about to fall off, "Yeah, fuck. Let's end this. Just like paintball, get them both they lose."

Liam nods and holds his fist out, and she meets him in the middle, "Headshots?"

"Fuck yeah."

They nod and leap out from behind the rock, so does Theo—he's not sure where Troy is—and the three of them hurl the icy balls at the same time. Tara ducks and Liam gets hit in the chest and Theo in the face.

"Ah… one hit per team… Troy!! Where the fuck—" Theo holds out his hands, looks like he's keeping them at bay in case they have hidden pocket snow. Liam is honestly too frozen to think tactically right now.

A huge snowball breaks against the back of Theo's head just then and Tara burst out laughing, wrapping an arm around her stomach as Theo drops to his knees with a look of utter betrayal on his face, wet and dripping (and beautiful)

Troy stands behind him with the dumbest, proud look on his face having just decked his own teammate in snow.

"Oh, this is an immediate loss for Team Hobo!" laughs Tara and dodges a piece of snow Theo flicks at her.

"Fuck me, can we go inside now? I'm about to lose all my fucking toes!" Liam whines and starts jogging toward the house. "You're insane. All of you!"

Theo laughs straight from his belly, and Liam's knees give an unsafe wobble.

Tara follows him, smug as all hell, grabbing her boots on the way. She swings her arm around Liam's shoulder. "You know… if my brother didn't have breakfast, he'd have eaten you alive when he had you pinned back there."

Liam snorts and ducks his head, "Oh my god."

Tara just smiles deliberately. She is truly awful.

 

 


	20. Inches too far

Mia sends them out to town a couple of days later with a very precarious grocery list which is supposedly items she needs for Christmas Eve dinner that night.  
  
"Fresh cream, cilantro, macadamia nuts, maraschino cherries, aaand... hunting knives." Liam reads off the list and arches a brow up at Theo. "Hunting knives."  
  
Theo laughs at him, strolling down the sidewalk.  
  
"What? It says so right here. See." Liam shoves the paper in front of Theo's face. "She making surprise dessert or…"  
  
Theo pretends to bite his hand, so he yanks it away. "Knives are for dad's gift." he tells Liam, "There's a specialty store on the corner." and points down the long, snow-covered stretch of road.  
  
Liam loves this town. It's something straight out of a fairy tale, he's never seen something so majestic as the glittering snow and pretty Christmas lights, the vintage signs hanging above all the brick wall shops. The cold almost doesn't matter much when he's got a view like this.  
  
He sticks close to Theo for a little shelter from the icy breeze; Theo doesn't seem to mind much, ambles with Liam pressed up to his side until they reach the small store.  
  
Theo lets him in, holding the door open. Liam feels little tingles in his belly. It's ridiculous the way Theo smiles at him when he slips past. Fighting the urge to pin Theo against a wall and kiss him stupid is getting harder and harder to manage.  
  
And he looks adorable too. God. Some insanely tight black skinnies and combat boots with that Pea coat. His hair all windswept and long, that faint traces of stubble coming through. It's very distracting. Very.  
  
So distracting in fact that when they enter the quiet little store the cashier at the counter—big and buff like Theo, with a buzz cut, military probably—loses focus and downright stares. At first, Liam thinks: _yeah buddy, I know._  
  
"Right. Knives then dessert, huh?" Theo says, unaware of the attention and looks at the wall full of knives. "Know anything about knives?"  
  
Liam nods. He does, in fact, know a few things about knives. Jimmy loved knives and any other object he could use in a fight, he kept a bunch of them in a shoebox under his bed.  
  
Before Liam can offer up his advice though, the cashier pipes up, "Want some help, big guy?"  
  
Liam feels his eyebrows shoot up. Theo doesn't react to it and gets closer to the counter, and he absolutely has to drag his hand through his hair like that.  
  
"Yeah, hey. Looking for a nice set of knives. Outdoor, hunting stuff." Theo tells him.  
  
"Huh." Says the cashier and gives Theo a lingering once over, "Didn't pin you as an outdoorsy type."  
  
Liam's annoyed a minute into shopping. _Jealous,_  his mind amends, but he ignores himself. _What type did you pin him as, asshole, after only knowing him for a full thirty seconds?_  
  
"Ah," Theo says, finally cottoned on that this dude is making some lame attempt at flirting with him. "No. I'm… it's not for—"  
  
The cashier smirks—satisfied that he's got Theo faltering—and winks then starts blabbering on about fucking knives.  
  
He goddamn winked at Theo. Liam feels like running his hands along all the shelves in the store and swiftly depositing its contents on the fucking ground. Perhaps that will give Winky Cashier something else to do, picking all the shit up off the floor.  
  
How dare he wink at Theo?? _Liam's Theo._  
  
Liam kind of wants to ask for his employment contract to see if flirting with customers forms part of his job description.  
  
"—So, yeah. You should totally get a throwing knife." Winky says, and his eyes travel down Theo's body like Theo is a long winding mountain pass and he's on a Sunday drive. "With those arms, you'd split a tree right in half probably."  
  
What. The. Fuck.  
  
"Oh, wow. I, uhm…" Theo goes bright red. Liam can't even enjoy how pretty it is.  
  
That is enough.  
  
Liam inches Theo aside; smacks his hands down on the counter and stares at the cashier with a smile that feels so forced his lips hurt doing it.

He casually says, "Knife throwing is fantastic and all. But you know, it's not the way the movies make it out to be. That whole _'hit the target, and they're dead'_ thing? Nah…"  
  
Liam starts neatly arranging the knives Winky had selected for Theo in a straight line on the countertop.  
  
Winky is only blinking at him, his stupid mouth hanging open. From the corner of his eye, he sees Theo lean his forearm on the counter, and stare.  
  
This is the day for staring, apparently. Jesus.  
  
"I mean you throw it—don't have to have big arms, just a good aim—and hit the target, say, right here," Liam reaches out and pokes two fingers right into Winky Cashier's pec. "It's gonna stay in the wound, limiting damage."  
  
The pesky cashier swallows so hard Liam hears it and is overjoyed without it reflecting on his face.  
  
"So, unless a major vessel gets punctured… dying's gonna be a pretty fucking slow affair, you know?"  
  
Theo is smiling, the idiot. Why is he smiling?? Liam is totally goddamn serious here!  
  
Old Winky nods a few times fast, "Yeah. Yeah. Uh, totally."  
  
To be a perfectly rounded asshole, Liam adds, "But I mean, you gotta know what you're doing right?" and proceeds to throw one of the loose knives on the counter straight into the dartboard where it's pinned on the opposite wall, dead-center. _Thanks, Jimmy._  
  
Before the cashier can break into a puddle of sweat and tears, Liam smiles and spins around on his heel, ignoring Theo's ridiculous grin and the way his eyes follow Liam out of the store.  
  
"He'll take the Ka-Bar Becker set," Liam shouts over his shoulder, "BK2 edition."  
  
Liam waits outside the store on the frosty sidewalk and lights up a smoke. He hasn't really touched them since he got out of the hospital, it hasn't bothered him either. But, right now, he needs something else to think about besides the excruciating idea of Theo with someone else.  
  
What if Theo had taken kindly to this idiot's advances. What if they exchanged numbers, became a thing, kissed… fucked?! Jesus. He reckons Theo has better taste than grimy, inappropriate dickwads, but it could be anyone. He then realizes there hasn't been anyone else since he's known Theo. For a moment he lets himself wonder if Theo had been waiting just for him.  
  
"Ready?" Theo chirps a minute or so later, carrying a shiny mahogany box with his dad's new knife set.  
  
Liam takes one last drag of the smoke and kills the rest, "Yeah. Where to?"  
  
"You know if you're only gonna smoke half the thing every other day, you might as well quit," Theo says with an arched-up brow.  
  
Liam just rolls his eyes, and Theo smiles.  
  
"Anyway," says Theo, walking ahead. "Whole foods next. I mean, if you're not gonna try playing darts with the fresh produce."  
  
It catches Liam by surprise, and he snorts. Hell, Theo giving him that playful, shit-eating look over his shoulder catches him by surprise. His cheeks go a little warm even in the icy breeze.  
  
"Well, let's hope the greengrocer doesn't try and get you to squash a watermelon with your _huge_ arms, huh."  
  
Again, Theo laughs, his eyes narrow with joy, and he shakes his head. "Yeah, Red." He mumbles, still with a smile on his lips. And Liam has never in his life loved a sound so much.  
  
He's never loved another boy this much.

He is pretty sure he has never loved _anything_ this much.  
  
  
  
Back home Mia greets them with steaming cups of hot chocolate and cookies; Liam thinks this woman must be God herself. She doesn't even look like she's been baking and cooking the way her hair falls around her shoulders and there's not a stain on her clothes.  
  
The house is warm inside at least, the fireplace is crackling, and some soft eighty's music flows through from the lounge where Jonathan's sitting, reading, with his feet up and a cup of his own.  
  
Tara and Troy wave at them to join a board game at the table near the big glass window, so they shrug their coats off and head over.  
  
Every once in a while, Mia dances over to Jonathan and gives him a kiss, a few times he grabs her and tickles her until she's squealing. Their kids look at them adoringly and tease them about it. It's fucking heart-warming. It's everything Liam has missed out on during all these years.  
  
He gets kind of sad, but then he looks at Theo and Theo looks right back and winks, says, "Your turn Red." and it's all okay again like an all-encompassing cure.  
  
Liam needs to tell him. Theo has to know how happy he makes Liam just by sitting there, not counting everything he's done for him. He needs to know. When someone comes and changes your life like this, makes you whole where you were shattered, they deserve to know.  
  
If only he can pin down the right moment.  
  
Later, when the weak sun dips low for the night, Jonathan sets the table and carries serving plates of incredible looking food out to the dining room.  
  
Liam can't remember ever being so excited for a meal in his life.  
  
"Go wash up, dinners ready in five," Mia tells them, setting down a bowl of salad.  
  
Theo accompanies Liam up the stairs to their joined bathroom. He cleans up fast, fixes the mess of red hair into something a little more presentable and swaps his hoodie for a soft woolen jersey.

He bumps into Theo when he's on his way out.  
  
"Wow. It's only dinner," Liam says, kind of intentional, kind of in awe of Theo in a tight black Henley, hair all gelled back. Christ.  
  
Theo dries his hands on his jeans because why use high-quality hand towels when you got jeans, right?  
  
"Yeah," he says, looking Liam up and down, "It's only dinner."  
  
"Dibs on all the yams!! No yams for y'all!" Troy screams and busts out of his room-still in the same clothes-and stops to stare at them in the middle of the hallway, sort of slack mouthed like that cashier earlier, blinking.  
  
"This," Tara says behind them and makes Liam just about jump out of his skin, "is fucking great." she squeezes past them and eyes their new, fresh looks. She hasn't changed her clothes either, hair still in a bun on her head. Apparently, only Liam and Theo decided to get dolled up. "No, really," she carries on, "It's adorable."  
  
They're both ridiculous, he thinks. Makes him laugh and dart downstairs to avoid Theo seeing how giddy he's feeling. Theo's eyes are on his back all the way.  
  
Troy sits down next to Liam; Theo and Tara across from them. Liam then notices that Troy's got a fucking hamster in his hoodie pocket.  
  
"What the fuck?" he whispers, surprised when Troy looks at him with twinkling eyes.  
  
He puts his finger over his mouth, "Shh. This is Rosie, man."  
  
Liam smiles, whispers back, "Hey, Rosie." And feeds her a leaf of lettuce. She nibbles it up, and her cheeks go all fat and puffy, tiny little paws grabbing for more. "Oh god, she's cute!" He says quietly.  
  
"Mom's gonna have a stroke with that thing at the table." Tara says while Theo's parents are still in the kitchen, "Pass her here."  
  
Troy snorts and lets Rosie scurry across the able to Tara who feeds her a carrot.  
  
"Here's mom. Give her." Theo murmurs and takes Rosie and puts her in his lap under the tablecloth. He rubs her head and shushes her as if she'll understand. He's got a small, happy smile on his face.

Liam's heart can't stand it.  
  
Mia and Jonathan join them, they say grace—which is weird to Liam, he's only ever heard Gino pray in Italian while drinking 150-year-old Grappa—but he closes his eyes anyway.  
  
As threatened, Troy grabs the dish of yams.  
  
"Made you your own one honey, put that down," Mia says and hands over another bowl, just for him. Troy's got the most infectious smile Liam's ever seen.  
  
Somewhere during dinner, Rosie makes her way back to Liam and Troy and feasts on some of Liam's rice. He's sure hamsters aren't even supposed to eat this kind of stuff, but she loves it, it's adorable, and Liam's never had a pet, so he enjoys treating her.  
  
He looks at Troy—cheeks stuffed full just like Rosie—and grins at him with incredulous wonder when she flips over in his palm and lets out a tiny huff of breath, then dozes off. _What kind of precious nonsense is this??_  
  
"She digs you." Troy mumbles and tickles her belly, then says, "He digs you too."

Liam snaps his eyes back up to Troy, now smiling into his plate of food, and then he looks over to Theo.  
  
The guy's sitting there staring at him, lip sucked into his mouth with a small, soft smile that grows an inch or five when they lock eyes.  
  
Liam can't help but smile back at him. He's been doing an awful lot of smiling recently, doesn't think he's ever done so much of it in his life. Can't remember ever feeling so full and warm and content in parts of him he didn't even know existed.  
  
For a good few seconds, they completely forget about the other four people at the dinner table. They're stuck there in a quiet moment, gazing into one another's eyes like the lovestruck fools they are.  
  
Tara eventually nudges Theo lightly with her elbow and leans in to whisper something to him—Liam can't hear what she says since the table is large and they're sitting too far apart—and Theo mouths something that looks like "I will." He makes his eyes big, and she rolls hers.  
  
Mia and Jonathan look away, also smiling. They all know. They know what's going on here. He considers just blurting his feeling out right here right now, with an audience, loving Theo makes him feel like doing all sorts of crazy things.  
  
But, the fear of Theo rejecting him in front of the said audience keeps his mouth shut for him.

  
  
After dinner, Troy and Theo help their mom clear the table and clean up the kitchen with Rosie stuffed and sleeping back in Troy's hoodie pocket.   
  
"Wanna see something awesome?" Jonathan asks and nods to the stairwell that heads down to somewhere Liam hasn't been before.  
  
"Hell yeah," Liam says, and they excuse themselves.  
  
Theo's dad leads the way down the carpeted stairs and into a dimly lit room. There's a massive flat screen about Liam's length in size embedded in a sleek mahogany wall unit. It's surrounded by soft, cushiony couches arranged in a perfect square in front of the T.V.  
  
Liam has never in his life been in a house that has an entertainment room for crying out loud.  
  
He follows Theo's dad around the room who giddily talks him through a mini-tour while simultaneously setting them up for the movie.  
  
There are fluffy throw blankets and three pillows stacked in a little pile on one of the seats.  
  
Liam chuckles to himself. The pillow with pictures of SpongeBob obviously belong to Troy; the one with Buffy, Angel and Spike poster on is certainly Tara's and the Jurassic Park pillow can only be Theo's.  
  
The pillows are worn and faded and flat looking, but Liam's sure if he smells them, they'll bear the scent of each owner perhaps a decade younger.  
  
It's sweet, it's a family thing. Liam smiles.  
  
"—so we got this set up at opposite ends of the window, somehow the glass and the expanse of the room makes it sound like a proper theater. You should hear it," Jonathan beams at him, "it's sweet!"  
  
"Can't wait," says Liam and wonders why they didn't just get a real theater built in here.  
  
Jonathan sets up a packet of popcorn and a bottle of juice in each one of the cupholders, places a small candy bar beside it and then picks up the three pillows and tosses them to three specifically designated places on the couches. Troy's pillow goes right at the end of the left sofa, Tara's on the opposite side of the couch also at the end, and Theo's in the right corner so Liam guesses that's where he'll be sitting too.  
  
His stomach does an uncomfortable little squeeze at the thought. It's ridiculous.   
  
Jonathan sets up the fireplace, which is just as well since Liam is starting to feel the chill; the snow lies thick outside against the glass.  
  
The warm glow of the fire rapidly spreads through the room just as Theo piggybacks Troy down the stairs to join them.  
  
He gives Liam a bright grin, tosses Troy down on the couch, so he bounces. "So, this is where you've been hiding, huh?"  
  
Liam folds his arms and looks around, "Do you blame me?"  
  
"Nah," Theo says and jumps over the back of the couch, onto his spot, "It's great. I spent a lot of time here as a kid."  
  
Tara strides in with her big oversized sweater and leggings, "Yeah we know. Especially between the ages of 13 and 17… we never solved the missing tissue scenario, did we?"  
  
"Tara," Jonathan warns. Theo rolls his eyes and flicks popcorn at her.  
  
Liam goes to sit next to Theo and grabs his Jurassic park pillow. He folds it up in his arms, holds it tight. Theo looks at him. It's an adorable thing the way his eyes gleam with surprise then flash into contentment.  
  
He was right. The pillow smells just like Theo.  
  
The movie starts, the lights go low, and Mia comes down too in soft looking fleece pajamas and sits with her feet in her husband's lap after placing a kiss on Troy's head. Tara curls up in a small ball like a cat, Troy's feet are thrown over the back of the couch, and Theo has his legs pulled up under him.  
  
They sit like that for a while, and since Liam is tucked slightly behind Theo, he's got the advantage of seeing the side angle of his face. He watches his mouth twitch with a smile every now and again, sometimes he'll chew on his lip, sometimes his eyes widen and make Liam's entire body warm with affection.  
  
He's been such a fool. So stubborn. For so long this boy has been in love with him, stuck around steadier than glue. And he's been trying so hard all this time not to feel what he does, tried not to give into it. He's been trying so hard to unstick himself from this.  
  
But, he thinks, he's fallen hard and stupid a long, long time ago, it's inconceivable for him not to be tangled up in this.  
  
Maybe getting stuck ain't such a bad idea after all. Especially if it's to Theo.  
  
He must sense Liam staring because he turns, his face flashing in the screen's light, "What?" he says softly with his stupid cocky grin like he knows exactly what.  
  
Liam pulls a face at him, fights a smile, "What."  
  
"Please." says Tara like she's exhausted, "Can we open a window or something, I can't breathe with all this UST."  
  
"Oh, now what is UST honey?" Mia asks absently, curling Jonathan's hair around her fingers.  
  
Theo flicks another kernel at Tara, and she bats it with proficient accuracy without even looking, so it lands on Troy instead. He eats it.  
  
"Type of energy that radiates off annoying siblings," Theo says pointedly and flips her off. He turns back to the screen. Liam can tell even in the flickering, distorted lights that his cheeks are red.  
  
Liam shifts closer, and for a second, he doesn't think much about what he's doing, all he knows is that it feels right.  
  
He slips his hand under the blanket that Theo has spread over his knees and finds Theo's hand.  
  
Theo's body stiffens when Liam's fingers curl around his, but he lets it happen.  
  
And then they're holding hands. Like two teenagers in the dark.  
  
Just as he was watching Theo's face before, he watches him now too.

Theo casts a brief glance down at his lap—where under the soft blanket, their hands are entwined warm with one another's—and then lifts his eyes back to the screen.  
  
His smile is something else captured in the lurid reflections of the movie and his free hand seals around both of their clasped ones.  
  
Liam's brain flips itself inside out, and he thinks he is probably never going to move again.

  
Liam falls asleep like that, and by the time Mia wakes them both up, the movie is over and everyone looks sleepy and confused.

He lets go of Theo's hand even though it's the very last thing he wants to do.

They give each other one last, soft smile before slipping into their rooms.

That night he doesn't dream of Jimmy or his mother or any of his shortcomings.

He dreams only of Theo.

 


	21. All that glitters

Usually, on Christmas morning, Liam would wake up in his and Mason's little apartment with the smell of delicious breakfast and coffee floating through the air. He'd get up, and Corey would arrive soon after, carrying a case of beer and a bag of gas station candy while Mason dished up for them.

They'd wish each other Merry Christmas and spend the day in their pajamas. When the time came for the other two to call their families, to wish them happy holidays too, Liam would vanish out onto the fire escape and have a smoke. He'd send a message to Jenna and Kira and the guys from work to wish them too.

Then, he'd maybe cry a little, for Jimmy, who he always missed more during this time of year. He'd get a little bitter about not having a family of his own except the one he found. Every year Mason would join Liam outside while Corey cleaned up the kitchen. In his wordless way, he would squash himself into the tiny gap between Liam and the stairs and lay his head on Liam's shoulder.

They'd sit like that for half an hour maybe, in silence, watching the city buzz to life below, until the rising sun had dried the wetness from Liam's cheeks. Soon, Corey would call out to them that the movie is on and ready to go, and they'd watch the Home Alone movies, all three, while squashed on the two-seater couch.

This year is a little different.

_**Group Message:** Liam, Corey, Mase. _

_**Liam:** Happy Christmas dorks _

_**Mase:** Merry Christmas buddy. We miss you! _

_**Corey:** Merry Christmas Li! How's the high life? _

_**Liam:** Yo, you gotta see this place. I'll send some pics. _

_**Liam:** Got an entertainment room. _

_**Corey:** Nice people? _

_**Liam:** like SO nice. I've gained like a hundred pounds probably. _

_**Mase:** well good. With ya skinny ass _

_**Liam:** I'm not skinny, I'm small. _

_**Corey:** How's Theo ; ) ; ) _

_**Mase:** ^^ I told him. Obviously. _

_**Liam:** omg he's gorgeous. I can't. Like I need help. _

_**Corey:** Well what you gonna do about it? _

_**Mase:** tenor_2561958.gif  _

_**Liam:** No! omg. IDK dude _

_**Mase:** Don't come home till you figure it out _

_ Corey is typing… _

"Knock knock!!" Tara calls from the other side of the door, sounding chipper and like she's been awake for hours.

"Yeah come on in," he grumbles and sits up against the headboard, still a little sleepy himself. He stresses for a moment that Tara's there to interrogate him about the lingering looks he's been giving her brother, question his intentions.

But after her, Theo and Troy file into the room and make themselves at home on Liam's bed.

"Merry Christmas, cherry top!" Tara sings and hands him a travel mug full of steaming coffee and plants herself snug against his left side.

"Uh, Merry Christmas, Madam Sparta."

She grins a wide one at him and takes a sip of coffee, flinches because it's too hot, just like her fucking brother.

Troy fist bumps him, "Merry Christmas bro." he says and sits down at the foot of the bed.

Theo's standing there in blue and white flannel pajamas, Liam has never seen something so ridiculous yet adorable. He looks like he's waiting for permission or something, so Liam whips open the cover and cocks his head for Theo to join the party.

He does so with an excited little smile, bending down to place his customary kiss on Liam's forehead. "Merry Christmas, Red." He says quietly.

Liam's heart catches in his throat as Theo gets in beside him.

"You ever see the sun come up on a snowy Aspen morning?" Tara asks and presses a button that he thought was a light switch until now. The curtains and wall paneling starts sliding open and retracts into the corners of the room.

He did _not_ know walls could do that.

It reveals a huge glass partition behind it that overlooks the white expanse of mountains on the east side of the house. The sun glows pale pink and peach behind it, making the treetops sparkle when the breeze blows through them.

Liam inhales quietly; it's breathtaking. "I haven't," he says, then feels Theo hand slide into his again.

He forgets about everything, wishes there weren't two other people in the room right now.

"It's real pretty," Troy says, lifts his cup to the window in cheers.

Liam turns his head to Theo, finds Theo already looking at him.

"Yeah, it is," Liam says, lets his eyes wander over Theo's face. It makes him blush. Liam loves it.

Tara and Troy sip their coffee with stupid, knowing grins on their faces without saying a word, pretending to watch the sunset.

After about an hour of peacefully watching, Mia pops in too, and each of the kids takes a turn to wish her Merry Christmas. Tara gives her a kiss, Troy and Theo each lift her off the ground and squeeze her so tight she squeals and says, "Goddamn savages, I love y'all."

"Merry Christmas baby." She tells Liam when he moves in for a hug too, "I'm so, so happy you came." then kisses his cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Mia." He says and holds on a little longer because she does.

When she pulls away, Theo has a weird look on his face like he's about to start crying. Mia claps her hands together, "Presents!!" and the kids scramble past each other to get downstairs first.

There, they find Jonathan in a bright red Santa suit and boots holding five neatly wrapped presents in colorful paper and shiny bows in his hand. They each grab a seat, still in their pajamas.

"Ho, ho, ho." Jonathan rumbles, "Yeah. I've already had a glass of eggnog." Then starts handing the presents out to his wife, three kids, and Liam.

And yeah, okay, Liam is surprised to get one. These people don't even know him, they didn't have to. Plus, he broke their son's heart; he thinks he should probably be on Santa's naughty list just for that instead.  

Still, he opens his box along with the other's and finds four pairs of incredibly fancy, soft socks, a beanie and gloves inside. His is black with red detail, Tara's grey, Theo's navy and Troy's white.

"Every year, dad." Tara laughs and pulls her beanie on.

"Least I can do if I make you come out here to this frozen hellhole."

"What kind of hellhole practically has a theatre in the basement?!" Liam blurts out before he thinks.

Jonathan folds over laughing, the rest too, and Liam grins satisfied at himself.

The rest of the presents are distributed, including the ones Liam had secretly placed under the tree. Some he picked up in town, some he purchased back in Cali.

Theo is surprised when he reads the label and sees it's from Liam, "You didn't have to." He tells Liam, nudges him with an elbow.

Liam rolls his eyes, "Just open it." He's sitting with a small square box from Theo is lap and just knows there's something insane in there and doesn't want his gift to follow whatever extremity Theo went to for Liam's gift.

Theo unwraps the paper as if it contains the holy grail. It's painful to watch, especially since everyone else is ripping and stripping theirs. Liam makes good use of the moment to stare at the side of Theo's face.

Which is the greatest idea since his face breaks into joy like the dawn's first light.

"Oh my god!" Theo squeals and looks at Liam, then the pair of white leather boat shoes in his hands, then back at Liam. "Oh my god, I love it. I love it." He says and runs a finger along the sole and over the laces.

"Yeah?"

Theo flings his arms around Liam's neck, "Thanks Red. It's perfect."

Also in the package is a light pink Polo cardigan and matching white leather sling bag with navy stitch detail for all his college books.

Liam unwraps his box with much more vigor than Theo and pulls out a black box, about the size of his palm, with gold lettering on the lid.

Theo got him a watch, TAG Heuer, silver with a dark red face and shiny tickers. It's gorgeous. Liam doesn't know what to say, he's just fiddling with it in his hand.

"Turn it over," Theo tells him.

On the underside, _"Some things that are gold, will stay. Always yours. Theo."_   is delicately engraved into the metal. Liam lifts his hand to his pec, where the exact opposite of those words is tattooed.  

"I love it," Liam says quietly and slips it onto his wrist, a perfect fit. "Thank you, Theo."

"You're welcome." Theo smiles, hooks his pinkie finger around Liam's and they watch the rest tear open their gifts, laughing and drinking coffee against the backdrop of a colorful Christmas tree and strands of fairy lights.

Maybe it's true after all. Perhaps some good things are built to withstand the storms and hold onto their shine.

 

They all get ready for the day, and the house starts smelling like food again. Liam thinks if he keeps eating this way, he's going to burst or go into shock. Both most likely.

This time, for Christmas lunch, Mia ordered them to dress up. "No hoodies and gym clothes at the dinner table," she said.

So Liam's thankful for the clip-on bow tie he packed, it looks really good with the red and black plaid shirt he's wearing today.  And, since they're dressing up, Liam puts on a little eyeliner too. Mason always tells him how nice he looks with it.

He waits outside Theo's door, leaning against the wall with his hands tucked in the pockets of his skinnies. Not long after that Theo emerges with his new pink sweater and faded blue jeans. 

He. Looks. Incredible.

Theo claps his hands to both sides of his face, squashing his cheeks together so his mouth looks like a fish's, "Oh my god! You look—"

"Rich?" Liam grins and fiddles with the bowtie.

Theo laughs and steps closer to help him straighten it, "Full of shit, more like."

Liam makes a face like he's offended but doesn't look away from Theo, accounting for their proximity.

He could do it now, he could just kiss Theo right now. It'll be so easy to just close these few inches.

But he's riddled with nerves and thinks, maybe not in the hallway.

Instead, he says, "You look really nice, Theo." even if he thinks the whole getting dressed up for lunch is ridiculous. It _is_ ridiculous, but it's a tradition, a family tradition, and he's never been part of a real family before. But that's a dangerous trail of thought that he won't allow himself to have. He's not their family, he's a guest. It's terribly hard to distinguish, though, when they act exactly the opposite way.  

Theo smiles at him and puts his hand right against Liam's collar, his thumb touching skin, "So do you, Red. Very nice. I like it."

Liam falters and looks down because if he looks at Theo a second longer, he's going to throw himself at the guy.

 

Lunch is kind of stilted, feels like whatever's between them hovers over the table in a thick cloud. Tara saw them in the hallway, twice now, Theo's parents know, and the two of them are dancing around it like the leads in The Nutcracker.

Theo spends half the time stealing glances over at Liam, blushes about getting caught, then does it again. Liam kind of has to wonder what the hell it is that he sees when he looks at him that way.

This time he's got trouble stuffing his face like he had done over the last couple of days. It's nerves, he realizes, because time is closing in and it feels like something's chasing after him begging him to open his mouth.

Mia and Jonathan clear up the table once everyone is done eating.

"Tara. Take some photos for us, honey." She calls from the kitchen.

Tara is already adjusting her camera, "Get in line, losers." She says, waiting for them in the entrance hall. The walls there are lined with endless pictures of the lot of them. As kids, teens, at graduations, parties, and family shots. Looks like the ones in Jenna's office, Liam thinks.

Troy poses for Tara with Rosie and a bunch of green leaves tied together with a red ribbon, at the tips are tiny white balls. Mistletoe. Liam realizes. _Well, great._

He takes a deep breath, thinks: if this is how it's gonna happen, then so be it. God knows, he's waited long enough, he's been silent for what feels like an eternity. So, it happens now or it never will. He knows that little corner of Tara's mouth is struggling to stay in control, not because Troy's being a clown with the bunch of Mistletoe, but because she's about to give him and Theo the final shove.

"Okay, enough of you. Move." She tells Troy.

"One more, one more. Like this." And he holds the plant against his ass and bends over. Liam laughs, feels Theo behind him laugh too. Warm in his neck.

Tara indulges him, gives her brother an adoring wink when he cackles and takes the photo. "Now move!"

"Okay, okay!"

"Hand the magic over to them." She says and waves her finger between them.

Theo goes to stand in front of the glass doors with the twinkling Christmas lights framed around it, takes the Mistletoe from Troy. He gives Tara a look, kind of begging and nervous, and she only tips her head sideways and shrugs. But her face is pure deliberate determination.

Liam's got his hands in his pockets and comes to stand beside Theo. He sort of wants to start laughing. Can this be so hard??

"You know the rules," Tara tells them and fiddles with the lens.

"I don't, actually," Liam says innocently enough. Theo rolls his eyes, looks ready to bolt.

"Mistletoe. Christmas. Two people." She says as if it should be totally obvious. "You gotta kiss."

Liam snorts and looks down, he knew it.

"Come on!" Tara gives them a terrible look, her mouth twitching into that smirk that she hides behind the camera, "It's Mistletoe. You _have_ to kiss." 

Theo stares at the side of Liam's face.

"I'm waiting!" Tara prods.

"Jesus Tara…" Theo grumbles.

"Don't cuss." Reminds Troy, Rosie cradled in his arms like a baby.

Liam's eyes linger on Tara before he finally blinks away. He turns swiftly, wraps a hand around the back of Theo's neck, and tugs him down for a kiss. It's not quick but not slow, and kind of innocent even though Liam's lips are parted just so. 

Theo's eyes stay closed for a moment longer than they need to when Liam pulls away, and Liam laughs when he realizes Tara didn't even take the picture. Troy stands mouth gaping beside his sister.

He's sure from any angle and to any fool that would look intimate. Shit, it felt intimate.

"Getting some fresh air," Liam says and slips out of the room. He shrugs on his coat, and for some reason, he's moving so fast.

Outside the snow trickles down steady, and he takes shelter under the awning that covers the Raeken's backyard. Mia had put an ashtray out there for him which he fully intended to use if only his hands weren't trembling; he wouldn't get the smoke lit up if he tried.

He breathes in the crispy air instead and realizes with incredible certainty that he wants to do that again. He wants to kiss Theo again. Longer. Over and over. And he wants it to mean whatever it's going to mean, and that will be enough. Because, he thinks, maybe _he_ is enough. He can perhaps want something like this and have it too.

He's watching the snowfall and the few brave birds and critters that waddle about in the expanse of ice before him. He's about to head out there and build another snowman as a distraction for his thoughts when the backdoor clicks open behind him.

Theo. Bundled in a thick, navy blue coat with fluff on the inside of his hoodie, puffing out big white clouds as he breathes.

Theo's nervous, Liam can tell by the set of his mouth. But he's also wearing the look of a man with a made-up mind.

Beside Liam, he stands and faces toward the back yard too, then he takes a long, deep breath in. "You kissed me."

Liam smiles, "I know. I was there." and leans in against Theo's arm.

"The thing is—"

"There's gotta be a thing, huh?" Liam bites his lip. Inside, he rattles with nerves that won't settle.

"Always." Theo nudges at him with an elbow, "Thing is Liam. I didn't want that kiss to end. Not again."

Things between them have gone far beyond the boundaries of friendship. It's not just that anymore. The basis, sure, but they've built something beautiful on it, something made of trust and loyalty and kindness. Liam has realized that he can't deny himself to feel these things any longer. Because denying himself to feel is also depriving Theo of feeling it. He wonders why he ever did.

Liam takes a deep breath, and he can practically feel Theo's reluctance beside him, how he's shying away, scared of being so open once more.

He exhales and watches his breath drift away.

"I love you," Liam says.

Theo's head snaps to him, one silent, incredulous breath escapes his lungs. 

Liam's hands shake as he turns to Theo. Doesn't quite find the courage to look him in the eye and say this.

"I love you, and I've been so stupid. And I guess it's because I just don't know how to be loved back. But I do. I love you, don't wanna waste any more time pretending I don't."

Theo's face is all screwed up when Liam finally looks up, chin wobbling, his eyes wet and blinking and he's barely got a hold of himself. Liam just wants to hug him.

"Shit, Red."

"You don't have to… after what I did. I don't expect you to, uhm," Liam swallows because he fucking wants Theo to tell him he loves him too, the same way Liam loves him, but he doesn't expect it. "You don't gotta love me back. You just have to know that I do."

Theo laughs, it's beautiful. It's everything. "What… Liam. Are you kidding? Are you—" he wipes the tears away but not his smile. He sniffs. "God. You know, the night I met you when I sat on the sidewalk with you knocked out in my lap…" his voice is croaky and rough.

Liam snorts recalling how they met.

Theo's eyes swoop all over Liam's face, and he looks so desperate. It's adorable. He looks like someone about to fall without a safety net. Doesn't he know? Liam will catch him, this time he'll catch him.

"I watched you blink open your eyes like that. Jesus. I was smiling before you even looked at me. You know why?"

Liam shakes his head. They're standing face to face now.

"Because I knew then that I'd love you for the rest of my life even if I never saw you again. I'd always love that boy whose first worry was if he got a punch in on the asshole ten times his size.

"I... Fuck, Red. I'm so in love with you. And I can't stop." Theo inhales and shrugs, "I love you too. I always have. I'd have waited forever to hear you say that. I would have—"

Liam stares at Theo's face, the red tip of his nose and his wet, pink mouth while he lets the words sink in deep. He lets that fact—someone loving him this way, so true and without reservations—settle deep within until he doesn't hear the whispering voice in his head that tells him he's still not good enough for this.

Because he's so tired of fighting himself.

If Theo loves him, then who is Liam to tell him he shouldn't? This is indeed far more than he thought he'd ever be entitled to. It's so much heavier than he's able to hold, but completely freeing altogether.

He realizes he's biting down on his lip and he's started crying too.

"—you're my guy, Red. And I love you." Theo says. He brings one hand up to Liam's face, cups his jaw so soft, so gentle, shaking a little too.

"Jesus Christ." Liam finally manages, swiping a hand roughly over his eyes. "Come here." then he bunches his fist into the front of Theo's coat.

Theo cracks a grin so wide it bursts with light and warmth, and seeps into every bit of Liam that has ever been cold.

"You..." he points a finger at Theo, "You're killing me…" and pulls him closer so that their noses touch, "and I love it. Christ, I love it."

Theo closes his eyes, sighs with deep contentment, and Liam feels like balm has been spread over a wound. 

"I love you. I love you." Liam whispers, thumbing at Theo's jaw and his mouth opens against Liam's so their lips slot together like pieces of a jigsaw.

Then they kiss properly, and this time it's right. One hundred percent right. Hands in hair, deep and long. Nothing stops them now, Liam doesn't think anything ever will again.

They've taken the long way around, but now they're here, and he knows it's not a minute too late.

If perhaps, they spend the rest of the day impossibly close, never letting go of one another's hand, then Liam is sure the rest will understand. 

Whenever Theo strays a little too far from reach, Liam follows or drags him back. They've lived with this aching, open space between them for too long and Liam's desperate to fill it, to make it better, fix what had been broken. 

Later that night when the others drift off during the movie again, Theo pulls Liam up against him and steals a few secret kisses in the dark. His fingers curl into Liam's neck, and every now and again, his lips pull into a smile mid-kiss. 

Liam smiles then too, doesn't think about stopping even once. He kisses back slow and a little sloppy just because it feels so good; Theo's tongue in his mouth, lips on his lips, wandering hands. 

It's slow until it's not, until his insides are on fire, begging for more, for unhindered and unobserved access. Wanting. 

He makes a move to lead them upstairs, Theo follows like a blind man all while Liam's heart pounds behind his ribs, his pulse wild, he's getting lightheaded at the thought of them being close. Getting closer. Getting…

Theo stops in front of his bedroom door, "Well, night. I guess." He mumbles and rubs the back of his neck, trying not to be forward or assuming. 

"What. You're really gonna go to your own room??" Liam asks, not releasing Theo's hand.

And he gets why Theo is hesitant. The last time he allowed himself to touch, and did so without reservations, Liam ripped his heart from his chest the next day.

"Uhm. No?" he guesses and frowns. It's adorable.

"Yeah, you're not," Liam says and tugs. "Come on."

Theo still halts in the doorway, "Liam…"

"I won't… not again. I'll never hurt you again." Liam smiles at him, and Theo's shoulders ease out, "Promise."

There is only relief and something warm and heartfelt on Theo's face like he could dissolve into tears at any second.  

"Let me get my pj's."

"Oh, god. Okay. Go get the damn flannel."

Because Theo is a massive dork, he knocks on the door when he returns, wearing the stupid, soft pajamas and a beautiful grin on his face.

"These things are totally ridiculous. You look like the world's cutest grandpa. It's very confusing." Liam tells him 

Theo's eyes gleam, "But you'd still smash right?"

Liam laughs when Theo joins him at the bathroom mirror with his own toothbrush. He leans back to get a view of Theo's ass in the pajama pants. "Hm. Maybe so."

And once they get into bed, cautious and hyper-aware of themselves, their bodies gravitate toward each other and Liam's arms wrap around Theo's middle as if they have never been anywhere else.

He pulls him close, lets his hands run over the soft flannel but all he feels in Theo's warm body underneath. He tips his head sideways and catches Theo's mouth in a kiss that lingers, soft and gentle.

He didn't think the feeling of someone you love smiling against your lips—because you're making them laugh; because they're happy there where they are, with you—could reverberate right down to your toes and make your head bubble.

Of course, he smiles back, and Theo throws one of those thick thighs over his legs, "Come on Red." he whispers in the dark.

Liam pushes forward, gets Theo on his back. He places his palm flat on Theo's jaw, drags his thumb along the seam of Theo's lips, he swallows, "Yeah?"

Theo bites down on his lip, then tilts his hips up, "Yeah."

Liam sweeps his hand up and through Theo's hair, "Alright. Okay."

"I mean," Theo breathes and pulls his legs up to wrap them around Liam's waist. Jesus, he's strong. Liam feels _Things_. "I've only been waiting forever."

Instead of speaking, Liam kisses him, makes it memorable and draws out all kinds of noises from Theo's throat that causes his neck and cheeks to go warm, makes his heart and gut pull up into a knot inside his body. 

He thinks this must be what happiness feels like, true unconditional happiness. Like kissing in summer rain under a sky that keeps pouring and pouring in abundance and doesn't care how long you both stand there and soak it up.

He feels Theo's hands slip under his shirt, his body shivers in response, and now it's his turn to generate these soft, meaningless sounds. 

Theo's fingers graze along his ribs, up over his shoulders, down his arms, leaving a prickly trail wherever they touch skin and he thinks he'll lose his mind soon enough.

In haste Theo starts undoing the buttons on his stupid flannel—and see, this is why flannel is stupid—his hands are shaky with the same adrenaline Liam feels coursing through his blood.

Thankfully the stupid flannel gives Liam's breathless, hungry mind a second to think and… there is no need to rush anything. He's messed it up once before, let gold slip through his fingers. This time he wants to hold on to it.

Besides, the way he's feeling, there'll will days still to get where they want to go. Months, years, decades even. There is no rush. He's going to take his time to love Theo the way he deserves to be loved.

He hopes so hard that Theo agrees when Liam stops his hands at the third button, falls sideways, and snuggles up close to him.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to sleep. It's what people do in a bed, Theo."

"Oh, I can show you about a hundred and fifty other things people do in a bed. No problem."

"Is keeping someone awake one of them?"

Theo sighs, long and disgruntled, "You know I'm hard right? Like so hard…And I'm real easy too…"

"Shut up." Liam smiles with his eyes closed.

"The worst," Theo grumbles and shoves his head under Liam's chin, lips pressed to the dip of his clavicle.

Of course, Liam doesn't sleep. Of course, he stays awake and listens to Theo breathing slowing down, feeling the steady thump of Theo's heart against his side, the warmth of him, his soft mouth, and his stupid flannel pajamas.

He stays awake for as long as he can just to appreciate how very real this is, and that it is not going away.

He gets to have happy endings too.

Who knew?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theo's gift makes reference to chapter 9, in which Liam thinks about the tattoo he has on his pec "Nothing gold can stay" because he's a dramatic little shit.


	22. Sugar Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will have noted that the rating has changed from M to E :) *wink wink* :) I have marked the beginning and end of explicit scenes toward the end of the chapter with an asterisk for those who prefer to skip. These scenes have no impact on the plot.

For another two days, Liam and Theo manage to, mostly, keep their hands to themselves. Even when Liam feels this unbearable urge to strip Theo bare and fuck him up against a wall.  
  
This doesn't mean they don't sneak away for filthy make-out sessions whenever they can, it doesn't mean Theo doesn't _try_ getting off on Liam's thigh when they're cuddling together on the couch, and the others aren't in sight. It especially doesn't mean Liam doesn't want to. He fucking _wants_ to. Just feels wrong with Theo's mom or dad in the next room, within earshot. These folks have been so good to him, fucking their son under their roof just seems assholey to him.  
  
Theo very feverishly disagrees.  
  
But instead, Liam kisses him to shut him up. Kisses him slow and lazy, and lets his fingers slide through Theo's hair and the stubble on his jaw.  
  
They're cuddled up on the couch closest to the window that faces the back yard. Snow flutters in the breeze and leaves thin, sleet trails all the way down. Mia has soft music on in the kitchen and the fireplace crackles quietly.  
  
Liam lifts Theo's hand to his mouth and kisses the tip of each finger.  
  
"Can't fucking wait to get home," Theo murmurs and watches Liam's mouth.  
  
"I'd stay another week if I didn't have work. You're just horny." Liam says between kisses.  
  
Theo grabs his hand and slips Liam's middle finger into his mouth before Liam can protest. He admittedly goes a little weak at the feel of Theo's warm tongue around his finger.  
  
"Oh... god… why are you like this, huh?" he asks even as he pushes in a little deeper, making it two fingers just for fun.  
  
Theo sighs and his eyes smile. Liam musters up every last ounce of control in him and pulls his fingers out of Theo's fucking mouth and tries not to think about putting something else in there instead. He definitely doesn't think about Theo on his knees and—Nope. No.  
  
"Fuck." Liam takes a deep breath and thinks six more hours. Six hours. That's all.  
  
But Theo's all spread out on the couch, thick arms behind his head, grinning at how exasperated Liam is. Liam fucking loves him so much.  
  
"Stop looking so smug about it," Liam whispers to him and entwines their hands instead.  
  
Theo blinks, and his lips are so red and pretty, "Fine," he says and pulls Liam closer, "Fine!"  
  
And then the asshole starts tickling Liam until they're both a squirming giggling mess on the couch and Theo's caging Liam the way he did that day in the snow. He's breathing fast, Liam feels it against his chest, feels Theo's heart pounding.  
  
Theo looks so happy, Liam thinks, happier than Liam's ever seen him. There's renewed light behind his eyes, he's got a quirk to his mouth that breaks into a smile every time he looks at Liam, whenever they kiss.  
  
If Liam had known this would be the effect of telling Theo that he loves him, and how happy it makes Liam seeing him this way, he wouldn't have waited so long.  
  
Like now—with Theo hunched over him, breathless, laughing—it is probably the exact stuff heaven's made of.  
  
"I love you, you know." He says, and Theo smiles, "Big time." Liam tucks Theo's hair behind his ear.  
  
A little more tenderly, Theo leans down and kisses Liam again, then leans back up to look at him.  
  
"And I love you."  
  
And even though they said it yesterday and the day before, he'll never stop saying it just as he won't get tired of hearing it. Ever.  
  
"Hey, pass my phone," says Liam.  
  
Theo shifts so he can reach it on the coffee table. "What're you doing?" he asks when Liam pulls Theo down on him and starts a video call.  
  
"Giving Mason a heart attack. Come here."  
  
Theo's lying flush against his side, his cheek pressed to Liam's while the phone rings.  
  
_"—Yeah, so just put it in the oven… I don't know Corey!"_ Mason's not looking at the screen when answers, he seems annoyed actually and, in the background, people scurry about; kids run and scream and giggle.  
  
"Kinda glad I didn't go with you two," Liam says. Theo nuzzles his cheek, "seems crazy out in New York."  
  
Mason finally focuses on the screen, _"Yeah, hey Li—Oh my god!!!"_ he screams the moment he sees them and drops the phone. _"Oh, my godddd!!! Holy shit-Corey!!"_  
  
_"Mason, what!??"_ Corey shouts from somewhere in the background before picking up the phone. His face does a priceless round about, from frowning and confusion to pure, blinding joy. _"Hey guys!!"_  
  
_"Can you believe this asshole?!"_ Mason says, shoving back into the frame just as Theo kisses Liam's cheek and waves innocently at the phone.  
  
"I figured it out." Liam grins and turns to kiss Theo.  
  
_"Hey, hey, keep it PG!"_ Corey says and pushes his little sister away.  
  
Theo laughs, his cheeks turn pink, "Oh, you don't need to tell him that. He's like the implementor of PG—"  
  
"Yeah, okay. Okay." Liam cuts Theo off, pinches his ribs, "Just phoning to let you know we're heading home today."  
  
_"Shit, lucky you."_ Mason drones, _"I got four more days of torture."_  
  
_"It's my family, babe."_  
  
_"It's torture."_  
  
Just then a kid jumps on Mason's back, claps her tiny hands over his eyes and Mason screams, tumbling over.  
  
Corey shrugs, _"See you guys at home. Happy for you—Ah!"_ He yelps before he gets taken down by an entire group of toddlers too and the call ends.  
  
  
Liam decides to stop getting derailed by Theo and his mouth and his attempts at seduction and goes to sit with Mia in the kitchen. She's wearing a thick wool sweater, and with her hair up like this, she looks almost like Jenna, which brings about a special kind of nostalgia.  
  
He makes them each a cup of coffee with that fancy machine, he has to remember to tell Gino to get one of them in the shop.  
  
Theo's mom is busy on the laptop, staring at some graphs and she looks a little perplexed.  
  
"I can help." He offers, having seen the same stuff while doing Gino's books. "If you want."  
  
"Baby, if you can figure this shit out... my bookkeeper's off 'till February—thanks," she takes the coffee and slides the laptop over to Liam.  
  
Liam more than figures it out, he aligns her numbers and generates a forecast for the next few months that'll automatically align them each month, and she can simply work off those.  
  
"Done. I mean it's only 98% accurate, you'd still have to calculate for exact results, but these are pretty close." He says, aware that Theo is standing in the doorway watching them.  
  
Mia stares at him, "That's it??"  
  
He smiles. "That's it."   
  
She looks over to Theo, "This is a damn catch, honey. Hold onto this one!"  
  
Theo starts dragging their luggage into the lounge, "Sure will, mom." He grins, and Mia beams so bright Liam can't help but giggle. "But, I'm afraid I have to break up the nice bonding you guys got going here. Gotta get moving."  
  
Liam wasn't kidding about staying longer, he'd stay forever if he could. But he's grateful for the time he got to spend here, getting a taste of what a family is, what all those happy people do. If he's lucky, he'll get to return for many more years to come.  
  
Mia embraces Theo, holds him tight for a few seconds when Tara comes down with the car keys. His arms stretch right around his mom, and he shrinks into her like a small child.  
  
"Come visit us, ma." He mumbles, and she nods, tearily tells him she will. She's sniffling when they separate.  
  
She comes to hug Liam, "Take care of each other."  
  
"We will. Thanks for everything, Mrs. Mia."  
  
Theo laughs when she squishes Liam's cheeks the way she had Theo's when they arrived, "God, I'll miss this face."  
  
Theo looks like he's about to dissolve.  
  
Jonathan comes in to tell them he's cleared the driveway, got the engine running for their departure and says his goodbyes too.  
  
Tara makes Liam sit up front with her and Troy sits in the back with his brother. They stop at a bakery and get a box of donuts to share plus four tall coffees for the road.

In the back Troy and Theo sing along to the radio, a horribly off-key version of Last Christmas. Tara and Liam smile, watching the road ahead.  
  
Every now and again, Theo reaches over and touches his fingers to the back of Liam's neck or his shoulder, just to feel, to remind him. Liam turns his head and kisses the back of Theo's hand despite Tara's exaggerated eye roll (she's smiling, even if she'll never admit it).  
  
A couple of minutes later, Troy is showing Theo a video on his phone and they're sharing a pair of earphones when Tara says quietly, "He's never brought a guy home before."  
  
Liam takes a bite of his donut, "Hm?"  
  
She smirks, "He came out to us a few years ago. Said he's gay, was kinda nervous, you know."  
  
"Unnecessarily obviously."  
  
"Yeah." she grins fondly and shakes her head, "But, there hasn't been one guy since then that he thought was worth bringing back here." Her deep green eyes settle on Liam, puzzling and scrutinizing like she can't quite figure him out. "Until you."  
  
Liam doesn't know what to tell her, doesn't know what to make of it. "If you're asking me what makes me so damn special, I got no answers for you."  
  
Tara looks back to the road, "I'm not. I know what it is. All I'm saying is—"  
  
Without her saying anything else, Liam grasps what she's getting at. They love Theo more than anything in this world. They both do. He'd hate for Theo to get hurt as much as she does, but Tara doesn't know Liam's world had pivoted off its axis, doesn't know how he would go to the ends of the earth to keep Theo as happy as he is now. He'd sell the dime's worth of belongings he has just to put a smile on Theo's face. Call him sappy, call him a fool, but his heart now has a new home. And he wouldn't do anything to wreck that home.  
  
"Your brother," he tells her, "has a tiny, tiny dimple beside his left mouth corner. He doesn't know it but when he sleeps, he smiles, and that dimple dents so deep. His eyes are green, but he's got a little blue speck in the right eye. When he's angry that eye twitches and the tips of his ears turn red, it's kinda hilarious. There are three freckles in his neck that look like a pyramid. And, your brother mouths along to dumb movies he's seen a thousand times, every single line.  
  
"I love him more than I probably love myself. I love him more than I thought I could love anything." Liam finishes, and for the first time, Tara's veneer seems brittle and open and soft. She blinks a few times fast and clears her throat.  
  
"Okay." She says.  
  
Liam settles back in his seat, smirks. "Okay."  
  
They understand each other perfectly now, her and Liam.  
  
  
On the plane, Theo pulls his tablet out again, and Liam just sees Theo's finger edge toward fucking Sharknado 3, and he swears his brain might melt if he watched another one of those.  
  
Liam swats Theo's hand away, "How fucking many of those movies did they make, huh?"  
  
"Rude!" Theo gasps then coyly, "Five maybe." and Liam laughs.  
  
Liam chooses The Vow instead. This time they sit close, holding hands, sharing a quiet kiss every couple of minutes. They both get teary-eyed about the movie this time.  
  
"Hey," Liam whispers groggily after a while of watching, "So, since I'm going back to work soon, and I'm all healed up—"  
  
The lines on Theo's forehead crease and he eyes the pale bruising under Liam's eye socket. "You are not all healed up."  
  
"It's good enough." It's not much of an argument, but Theo concedes anyway. "As I was saying, I guess I should move back home." When Theo stares at him blankly and unblinking, he adds, "Mason drives me to work in the morning." As if that is an entirely valid argument.  
  
Theo pauses the movie, "I got a car, Liam." He notes, impassive, "I can drive."  
  
And okay, perhaps Liam doesn't want to go home. Perhaps he doesn't want to be where Theo isn't. Perhaps he doesn't quite know how to say that.  
  
"Hmm. Being driven around in my sugar daddy's Audi."  
  
Theo's eyes glint, "Oh _now_ you wanna be my sugar baby??"  
  
Liam looks at him, deeply in love, and thinks he'll be fucking anything Theo want him to be. He would. He'd do anything for him. Very seriously, but smiling, he says, "How about your boyfriend?"  
  
Theo blinks in surprise, catches his bottom lip between his teeth and nods slowly, "I'd like that. Yeah."  
  
"You're so easy." Liam jokes, "I love it." he smirks and presses play again. He holds Theo's hand a little tighter this time.  
  
"I told you I am." He shrugs and leans into Liam. His lips brush soft and enticing against Liam's ear before he places a kiss on his cheek. It makes his body respond in a flush of goosebumps, and suddenly Liam can't wait to get home either.  
  
The plane finally lands, and they call an uber to drive them back to Theo's place that Liam will be calling home for the foreseeable future. He guesses it works out perfectly: Corey can stay with Mason; the pizza shop is on the way to Theo's college, and when Liam starts work again, he can help with rent and groceries.  
  
It's late afternoon when they arrive, and the California winter sun burns orange on the horizon. Liam rejoices in the slightly warmer weather and happily disposes of his coat once he steps inside.  
  
 ***  
**   
Theo shuts the door and pulls Liam back toward him, so they're pressed chest to chest.  
  
"What excuse are you gonna give me this time, hm?" he asks Liam while dragging his thumb over the sharp point of Liam's jaw, his gaze swooping a perfect triangle between Liam's eyes and mouth.  
  
Liam feels like liquid on the inside, being watched so intently by those green eyes. He shakes his head and lets his hands fall to Theo's hips. "No excuses." Then he tugs on Theo's belt loops, "Get this off."  
  
But first, he pulls Theo closer and lets his tongue slide along his open lips, slow, and listens to Theo make a delightful sound. He definitely wants to hear that sound all the time.  
  
Theo, while kissing Liam back eagerly, sloppily, undoes his belt then the zip and Liam feels dizzy.  
  
Theo leans away to flap open his jeans. But Liam can't stand that hot, willing look he has in his eyes—makes him wild with want—so he pushes up and buries his face in Theo's neck instead.  
  
In his palms, Theo's firm pecs fit perfectly. Liam squeezes them, cups them, cranes his neck down to see.  
  
"Jesus, look at these huh…"  
  
Theo's skin heats up in his hands, so Liam squeezes again, lets his thumbs rub over Theo's nipples, still covered by his shirt. He teases until they've gone hard beneath his fingertips, slow winding circles that makes Theo gasp.  
  
"Liam…"  
  
He's never heard the guy quite as breathless before.  
  
Liam's hands slide down over the curve of Theo's dick, and he looks up to see him shudder. Sees him bite into his bottom lip and drop his head back.  
  
There's only warm, bare skin, Theo doesn't have any underwear on.  
  
Liam's brain goes hazy at the thought that Theo had nothing on under these jeans all fucking day, that there was only this bit of material between Liam's hands and Theo's skin. That maybe the jeans provided him with some friction all day and he walked around half hard and wet.  
  
"Shit…" Theo moans, "Oh. God."  
  
He wraps his hand around Theo, starts jerking him nice and slow. It's not like it's the first time this happens but it also totally is.  
  
Theo's legs spread for him, and he arches off the wall, that curved mouth so pink and open with what Liam's doing to him. Liam kisses him again, holds his jaw steady with his free hand.  
  
When he pulls away, he says, "You're goddamn gorgeous." and goes back in for more.  
  
Theo makes a sound right into Liam's mouth, grabs his shoulder. Liam twists his wrist just so, makes Theo blurt out pre-come like a dripping tap. He collects some of the wetness and works him over faster.  
  
He wants to see Theo come undone, wants to feel him pulse through it.  
  
"I'm... Shit. Fuck. I'm gonna-" he digs his nails into Liam, bruising probably.  
  
Liam smiles at him, "Yeah… come on."  
  
And then while looking right at Liam, his face falling into absolute bliss, Theo shoots off in Liam's hand, and he makes tiny little noises that Liam silences with kisses.  
  
"That's it. Look at you," Liam whispers almost to himself but loud enough to put an extra shade of pink to Theo's cheeks. "So fucking… god, you're perfect."  
  
Theo gasps and twitches and smiles all slack-mouthed, "Red…"  
  
Liam is so properly in love he may never recover.  
  
They tumble to the ground together—more like Theo's knees give in, and he takes Liam with him—their kisses now messy and off center and their hands shaky.  
  
Theo holds his face and kisses him, "God. I love you. I really do."  
  
How the hell did he get so lucky? What is this bliss, this endearment? What is this look on Theo's face that makes his heart crack with how big it swells? Most importantly: can he keep it? Forever?  
  
They break the kiss, leaving his lips cold, leaving him chasing after it so when Theo gets up and shimmies entirely out of his pants and stands, Liam follows quickly and finds himself spread-legged on the couch.  
  
He thinks his brain might break at the sight of Theo on his knees before him, naked from the waist down. Liam decides promptly that won't do and reaches down to pull the Henley over Theo's head.  
  
And now he's totally naked and parked right between Liam's legs like a golden Adonis when he starts undoing the button and zipper on Liam's pants. Liam shivers at the thought of having Theo like this.  
  
"Ah, shit. Theo. You don't have to—"  
  
Theo gives him a smirk that looks dangerous in this low light, "What kind of person do you take me for." he says, opens Liam's pants and pulls his dick out- which is embarrassingly hard. "Of course I have to."  
  
When his mouth slides over the tip, Liam steadies himself on the one hand and the other wraps around the back of Theo's neck. He makes a sound akin to what Theo made earlier, a whine that he'd blush about if this didn't feel so fucking good.  
  
He tells himself he needs to look away from Theo's lips stretched around him, or this will be over real soon. But there is just no looking away, he needs to see as much as he feels, needs to know this is not a dream. The wet slide of Theo's tongue against the most sensitive parts of him, his green eyes blinking slow, the low hum at the back of his throat.  
  
Just for Liam. All for him.  
  
A deep, dull pounding builds in his groin, and whatever Theo was doing, he does more of; faster, sloppier, until his eyes tear up. Holy fucking shit, he's never seen anything this beautiful, never felt something so good.  
  
Liam's mind goes white.  
  
When he opens his eyes again, Theo is licking him clean. Jesus goddamn…  
  
And he's so gentle that there's not even a hint of oversensitivity, even if there were Liam wouldn't do a thing to stop it. In fact, his dick makes a valiant effort at staying hard, he's quite impressed with himself.  
  
The ribs on his injured side hurt from him breathing too fast, so he lays himself back to catch his breath.  
  
"I'm such a fucking idiot. Could have had that mouth on me ages ago. Jesus." He breathes, thinking out loud.  
  
Theo smiles against his dick then moves up to hug Liam around his middle, cheek pressed to Liam's stomach. "Yeah. Guess we'll just have to make up for lost time huh."  
  
 ***  
**  
Liam's hand plays around in Theo's hair, holds him close, and he inhales deeply when Theo nuzzles against him, his thick, warm arms curling around Liam.  
  
"You bet, gorgeous," Liam says and strokes his knuckles down the side of Theo's face.  
  
They sit like that, half-naked and plenty satiated, locked in the rapture of the moment.  
  
This is damn near perfection; he can hardly stand it, and at the same time doesn't know how he ever managed without.  
  



End file.
